Gintama arc: Get rich from a One Piece treasure
by Blade of Hellfire
Summary: After The Baka Prince and his assistant beg Odd-Jobs to go retrieve the last and most valuable remnant of their fortune, Odd-Jobs crash lands into the only world where the world's greatest treasure is nothing but One Piece. OkitaxKagura & KamuixNobume
1. When trash becomes treasure

**Hey guys! For those of you who don't know, this is the debut of the first ever One Piece x Gintama crossover! I couldn't believe it either! And so, for those who don't know my writing style, it starts off fairly slow but then it becomes awesome. For my fans from my One Piece crossover with Case Closed, welcome back and thank you for reading! So this story's going to be completely different in style from my Case ClosedxOne Piece; it'll take about two chapters to actually get to One Piece, and it will be focused around Odd-Jobs trio. But I promise, you guys will like it! So give this fic a couple chapters to get the ball rolling, and you won't be disappointed. Also, this fic will have some romance but not a whole lot, and it will be OkitaxKagura and KamuixNobume. So without further ado, here's the start of my next epic crossover! Read, enjoy, review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama  
**

"So, you'll do it right?" Asked a familiar fat, alien prince, we all know and hate. Baka Prince and his useless assistant were sitting on the couch of Odd-Jobs, while the three members stared at them with obvious loathing and suspicion. This prince had caused them so many problems it wasn't even funny. Currently, they were begging Odd-jobs to do something, they truly found hilarious.

"You got into so bad of debt from amateur gambling at a pachinko parlor, that you borrowed money from the Yakuza and the Harusame Pirates, and once you ran out of money, you went into hiding and came here." Gintoki summarized everything he was told.

"You forgot the part where we were thrown out of our hotel room and given exactly one month to pay off the debt." Tremored the assistant.

"That's pretty generous." Shinpachi observed. "When debt collectors harassed my sister and I, they'd be by weekly. Just how much money have you borrowed?"

"$500,000,000!" The prince wailed.

SSSSPPT! Gintoki spit out his strawberry milk in shock. "No wonder they gave you a month, they're deciding your execution method! How dare you get money like that and lose so badly at pachinko! You insult the very nature of pachinko! You're supposed to lose big, scrap up one miraculous yen and then win big! And then blow it all again! It's one of the most beautiful cycles of life!"

"OI! That's not what you should be angry about here!" Shinpachi exclaimed and turned to the two potential clients. "How the hell could you be so irresponsible with that much money? My sister and I would've used that to renovate the dojo!"

"Mou! The Harusame man said it was a good investment!" The Baka Prince complained.

"And how long did it take you to lose at that money?" Kagura spoke up while chewing senboku.

"Twenty minutes." The assistant replied.

"I'll send you to the Harusame pirates in a box, you turd!" Kagura yelled and kicked them. "Do you know how much Senboku I could've bought?"

"Oi, Kagura…you just knocked out our clients, now we're out of a job." Complained the samurai.

"You weren't thinking of accepting it anyways, were you Gin-san?" Shinpachi asked.

"Yeah, they're nothing but trouble and are parasites to life, Gin-chan." Kagura added. "I'll call Sadist and ask him to help us dispose the bodies."

"What kind of things has that pedophile been teaching you?" Gintoki demanded. "A corrupt cop shouldn't be dating a fourteen year old!"

"You're still on that, Gin-chan?" Kagura asked annoyed. "I might take up Sadist's offer and move in with him."

"NO!" Gintoki placed his hands on Kagura's shoulders. "Now, now…no need to be hasty! You're father subsides our income with you staying here, so there's no need to make a scene and ride off into the sunset!"

"So basically, you're using her as a cash cow." Shinpachi sweat-dropped.

"Cash cow? Of course not! It's her rent; she lives here and needs to contribute to the household!" Gintoki insisted.

"You don't even do that!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"I'm telling Baldy and Sadist that you've been stealing my money." Kagura warned.

"Hai! Hai! You'll get your normal payment!" Gintoki insisted.

"You've been paying her off this whole time? Have you no shame?" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"It's not as bad as you think Megane." Kagura interrupted. "Gin-chan pays me twice as much as Baldy's allowance, so I don't lose anything from it."

"I'm not sure if that's any better than a pachinko parlor." Shinpachi sweat-dropped. "And that means that you waste away all of Otose-san's rent money on purpose."

"UGH…" The three occupants turned to the old assistant, who had gained conciseness. "So you'll do it?"

"How much are you offering?" Gintoki asked.

"The satisfaction of a job well done!" He replied.

"LIKE HELL!" All three odd-jobs gave him a falcon punch.

"Please! I beg you! Please help us!" The baka prince yelled.

"What the hell do you expect us to do? We don't have any money ourselves! Why would we help you jerks get money?" Shinpachi exclaimed, holding his fist up at them.

"Seriously, how do plan to pay us off to clear a debt when your broke? I don't know if you've noticed, but Odd-Jobs is a legitimate business, and we operate as such." The perm samurai continued.

"Since when did we start making money, Gin-chan?" Kagura asked.

"We've always made money, Kagura-chan; you just can't see it." He replied.

"WE WERE GOING TO CUT YOU IN!" The assistant of the prince exclaimed.

"DON'T SHOUT!" Gintoki punched the assistant again. "Now, explain in a calm rational voice, of what you mean by cutting us in."

"Recently, I remembered a legend from our home planet about a treasure worth more than a planet." The old alien started. "Legend has it, it had somehow been made with the properties of all precious stones and metals, combing them until the ultimate treasure."

"Sounds like a cliché kid's story." Shinpachi interrupted doubtfully.

"LET ME FINISH!" Old assistant exclaimed. "Anyways, it was originally apart of the Yato clan back when they were so prominent, and it was to have said it was passed on from each family head. I'm sure you know of this, young lady?"

Kagura glared at him. "Pappi never told me such crap, I wouldn't believe it anyways."

"Yes, well…it's real! It's been confirmed to exist!" The assistant insisted. "Anyways, after the first Yato civil war broke out, it supposedly fell into the black market, but it got passed from owner to owner because it kept bringing its owners to their demise."

"And how do you know this thing is real…?" Kagura asked.

"Simple…we were the last ones to own it." He admitted shamefully.

"WHAT?" Odd-Jobs yelled.

"You had such a treasure to begin with and you lost it?" Gintoki exclaimed. "How the hell that'd happen? Are you two the anti-Davy Jones?"

"Don't compare Davy Jones to discredited treasure thieves like these!" Shinpachi protested.

"How'd you lose it, Madao-version 2.0?" Kagura asked.

"Madao-version 2.0?" The old alien twitched.

"Yeah. It suits you pretty well, doesn't it?" Kagura replied. "Now, on with the answer!"

"Er…we tossed it away into the airlock of our spaceship before we arrived on earth. The Baka Prince thought he didn't need it anymore and threw it away. So now it's out there…somewhere in space." He answered

BAM! Odd Jobs struck again with another punch. "Would you lot quit punching me?" The assistant demanded.

"You're not worthy of existence, get out of the shop." Kagura turned away from him.

"Wait! If you find it, not only it will clear our debts, but we're willing to split half with you!" The three idiots stopped at that statement. "Think about it! The most valuable treasure in existence! Even with half, you people would be the richest people in Japan, no! The World!"

"Huh, I like the sound of it." Gintoki rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"Don't give into your selfish greed! It'll drag us down with it!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"Sounds like fun, uh-huh! But we demand 99%!" Kagura demanded.

"99%? Kagura-chan, that's not how-" Megane was cut-off.

"Quiet Megane! Kagura makes a good point! Yosh! So that's our deal, we'll find your treasure if you split it 99-1!" Gintoki proclaimed.

"Fine…" The assistant really didn't have a choice.

"We're gonna die, I just know it." Shinpachi groaned. "So what is this treasure, anyways?"

"It's not really a stack of gold or money like your thinking, the treasure itself is just one piece. In existence, it's known as the 'Pirate's Eye Diamond'." The old alien explained. "It's net worth is legendary, and its rarity can't be described; you find this diamond, nothing in existence can escape you."

"So it's not on earth you said?" Shinpachi asked.

"No, you'll have to take a spaceship out and find it." The client replied.

"So, you expect us to rent a spaceship for several weeks, going around to different planets, looking for a stupid diamond? How will we know if it's real?" Shinpachi twitched in annoyance.

"Well…I don't know how you'll find it, but…" The assistant took out a picture. "Here's a picture of it, as you can tell, when diamond sparkles, it's blue like the ocean. It was said that its original owner was a pirate from a different world, but it got lost somehow."

"Hence the lame-ass name." Gintoki finished. "Saa…I haven't been out to space in awhile, let's do it!"

"Really?" Kagura asked excited.

"Eh. Sakamoto owes me a favor, so we'll hitch a ride from him." Gintoki replied.

"You guys…" Shinpachi twitched at the situation at hand. "This is going to be a very long odd-job assignment."

**Review Please! So what'd yah think? I know, I know, no One Piece yet. As I said, it'll take several chapters to get it rolling, but I promise it'll be worth it. I'm writing this story in Gintama-style, which means a lot of humours build up, and then to a hell of a lot of great action! So in this story, it's set after the two-year time-skip in One Piece, and Luffy and his crew are together again, all strong from training. I'm probably going to have them still be at Punk Hazard in this fic, mainly because I want Odd-Jobs to screw up as much as possible. I'm going to try to hit islands that I didn't with my last crossover, but there are obviously going to be repeats (like Amazon Lilly and Momoiro- can't resist)! The only thing I haven't decided on is, whether or not Ace and Whitebeard should be dead. Anways, review or PM should you have any questions!**


	2. Launch Time means Rough Landings

**Hey guys! So here's the second chapter in this awesome crossover, and don't worry, they will actually enter the One Piece universe! Thanks so much for being good sport Mindlessly Clumsy and Serendipital. Since I know you guys are new to Gintama, I'll give you some warning about the characters this time. Okita Sougo will be introduced in this chapter, and he's part of the police unit in the Gintama universe, the best in the force, and a complete sadist to match. No, he's an actual sadist! Both in personality and S&M. He's not Kagura's boyfriend in the anime, but they're a favorite couple in the Gintama fan community, as well as mine. Sakamoto is the most random of the characters, and is a friend of Gintoki from the war. Before you guys raise brow about my dialogue with him, yes, he actually talks like that. Worse actually. Also, Sadaharu is basically a giant alien, puppy-dog, who's part of a subspecies of a dog god. So when you picture Sadaharu, picture an adorable white puppy-dog. Thanks!**

**For the general audience now: warning, there are some explicit hints in this chapter, but I'm not doing an actual lemon or lime even. So the Odd-Jobs trio heads off form their planet and starts their adventure! Find out where they end up in One Piece! Read, enjoy, review!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama  
**

As much as Gintoki hated doing this, he knew he couldn't afford airfare, what's more…they couldn't afford airfare that would go into random parts of the galaxy, and a pilot wouldn't fly them for they could possibly suck them into a black hole. So with no other alternative, Gintoki swallowed his pride, alcohol supply, and ice cream parfait collections and called his good buddy, Sakamoto.

"Oi! Oi! Sakamoto, you doing anything right now?" Gintoki was currently hung-over and calling his friend for a favor. Not the best combination, as illustrated in the next few lines of dialogue. "You aren't doing anything right now, so get your ass down here and give me a ride."

"AH! KINTOKI!" His friend cheered on the other line. "Eh? Give you a ride?" The afro guy replied on the other line. "Why? I don't swing that way. When did you start seeing things that way Gin-san? Masaka…the Vice-Captain of the Shinsemgumi?"

"Not that way you bastard! Why would I go that way? Least of all with that Mayo-bastard!" Gintoki exclaimed.

"Danna…the chemistry between you and Hijikata-san is obvious, no need to hide it." Sougo replied, running his fingers through Kagura's hair. Her head rest peacefully on his lap, while she slept loudly. He was resting against the sleeping Sadaharu, who looked quite content with its master and lover using him as a pillow.

"No one asked you, damned sadist-pedo-bastard!" Gin pointed a finger at him. "And no violating minors in my home!"

"You have a minor in your home, Kintoki?" Sakamoto replied.

"No! I mean yes! It's Kagura dammit! The Yato-girl who owns that giant flea-magnet! And it's Gintoki you bastard! If it was Kintoki I wouldn't be available to public viewers!" Gintoki stammered.

"Oh yeah her! She's a cute one!" The afro man laughed.

"She's not cute! She's one of the seven chaos emeralds!" Gintoki exclaimed.

"Don't reference games that failed as an anime!" Shinpachi exclaimed. "What do Chaos Emeralds even have to do with it?"

"Seriously, it was one of the few good TV-shows America did, but then Japan ruined it for once, and made an anime out of it." The silver-haired samurai continued. "Honestly the games were freakin' hard, the cartoons were nicely adapted in the respective genres each fell under, but the anime was terrible. And Cosmo! Why Cosmo? What was the purpose of her existence? And what about Chris?"

"Can you move the conversation along already?" Shinpachi demanded.

"Shut it, Megane! This is a relevant topic about how everyone's childhood game was forever ruined by bad plot ideas and intense marketing guess-and-check demand!" Gintoki exclaimed. "But he's right! Sakamoto, I need you to give us a ride into space! There's a huge-"

"Oh, the Pirate's Eye Diamond? Otae-san already called me about it, and I agreed under no forced-words or pretenses. See you in two days!" The line went dead, and Gintoki stared at his phone in bewilderment. He slowly turned to his employee, who seemed just as shocked as his employer. "Oi? Did you know about this, Megane?"

"Gin-san, I have long-since learned not to eavesdrop or question what my sister talks about on her cell phone." Shinpachi replied mournfully.

"True, girl talk is girl talk, it is unnecessary to read into it any further." A long silence fell over the room. "OI! That means your sister's expecting a cut! That female gorilla wants a cut! What does that female gorilla need a cut! I'll cut her all right!"

"Don't jump to conclusions!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"Oh, but I do want a cut, Shin-chan." Otae's voice broke in, and the two idiots slowly turned to the she-demon of death. "You will cut me in, won't you Shin-chan? Gin-san?"

"N-No! As the Yorozuya-boss, I am putting my foot down and-" An abrupt kick to the balls quickly shut him up.

"Now then Shin-chan, since Kagura-chan's asleep and Okita-kun's not a part of Odd-jobs, that leaves you in charge." Her smile didn't waver, but her demon-voice was emerging. "So…the cut is fifty percent, right?"

"Yes! 50%!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"Good! I expect the smallest portion to go to Gin-san, I'll be going now. Oh, good day Okita-kun." She smiled politely at the man, who gave a casual wave back.

After she left, Sougo put on a deep frown. "An ultimate showdown is coming; she and I will battle it out with her for the throne of Sadism."

"WHAT THRONE OF SADISM?" Shinpachi exclaimed.

**Two Days Later**

As promised, Sakamoto arrived at the terminal airport, his assistant trailing closely behind him. The woman looked about excited to be there as Kagura enduring a sex-talk from Umibozu. Speaking of the Yato, she had left a few minutes ago with her sadist boyfriend to get something to eat, while Shinpachi was on his Ipod listening to Otsu's new single. So here Gintoki was, waiting for oncoming randomness assault. "AH! KINTOKI!"

Gintoki grabbed the afro-guy's hair and slammed it against an airport seat repeatedly. "Oi! It's Gintoki! Gintoki! You idiot! They'd cancel the show if I'd have that name!"

"It is good to see you again Sakata-san, be glad my leader didn't have anything better to do than invade random planets." His assistant replied.

"How does your group justify that? It sounds like you guys are alien invaders, probing your victims." Gintoki huffed and let his bleeding friend go. "What's your name again? Your so low on the popularity polls that I forgot completely."

KICK! Gintoki made a face-plant to ground, as the woman stomped his head in further. "It's Mutsu-sama to you bastard! And it's not my fault I get so little screen time!"

"Hai, hai, please forgive me Mutsu-sama, it was my forgetful mind that forgot your important status." Gintoki managed to reply.

"Don't play dumb!" She kicked Gintoki into her leader's corpse. "Hmph. Idiots."

That was when Shinpachi finally noticed what was going on and took out his headphones. "Oh Mutsu-san! Did you and Sakamoto-san have a safe trip?" He asked approaching them.

"Eh. The traffic getting here was worse than usual, however we managed to make it here unscathed." She replied. "Where is the Yato girl who is always with you two?"

"Ah. She's with Okita-kun, getting something to eat. I swear, the day those two stop being safe is when the real bringer of destruction will be conceived." The boy shuddered at the thought.

"What was that Megane?" The glasses kid flinched when he felt the dead-pan stare of the 1st division commander of the Shinsemgumi. He stood alongside an annoyed-looking Kagura, who seemed to agree on the same thoughts as her lover. "Innocent virgins shouldn't talk about such things, Megane."

"Innocent virgin! Who are you calling innocent virgin? It's thanks to you, Kagura-chan isn't one!" Shinpachi accused.

"Ah. And don't you forget it." Okita smirked, and wrapped an arm around Kagura, pulling her closer.

"NO INDECENCY IN PUBLIC!" Shinpachi yelled indignantly.

"Ano…who are you?" Mutsu spoke up.

"Ah! Mutsu! Welcome back!" Kagura piped up at the sight of the woman.

"You know this woman, China?" Okita raised a brow.

"Ah! She's the No-Brain-Idiot's assistant over there! The one laying under the useless idiot!" Kagura pointed to the two unconscious samurai. Okita figured it was the one with the sunglasses that Kagura was talking about. "Anyways! She's going to give us a ride out to the distant planet!"

"To find the Pirate's Eye Diamond, correct?" Mutsu spoke up again.

"Ah. I apologize for inconveniencing you like this Mutsu-san, but the diamond fell into a particularly distant part of space, and none of the normal pilots would go there. So we really needed Sakamoto-san's…" The boy was cut-off.

"So you couldn't afford space-ship tickets, and no one else was stupid enough to agree." The merchant woman sighed. "Whatever, it's no different than what my idiot-leader does anyways. When did you want to depart? How many will days will we be going?"

"We'd like to leave as soon as tomorrow if that's possible. And it's only me, Gin-san, and Kagura-chan going." Shinpachi answered cheerfully.

"Hey! What about Sadaharu?" Kagura raised her hand. "Who's going to take care of him if I'm not there? What if he gets lonely?"

"Oi China. What if I get lonely?" Okita asked in slight annoyance.

"Who cares about you Sadist? You'll just kill Mayo-freak to pass the time anyways!" She exclaimed and tried to push out of his grip.

"Maybe, but I'd rather amuse myself torturing you." The boy smirked and turned back to the woman. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but your ship's the Kaientai; the famous commercial company?"

"Ah it is. We're not busy at the moment, and the idiot-leader decided to help on a whim." She replied.

"I see then. I'll be going too." The young samurai announced.

"WHAT? You're not a part of Odd-Jobs! Why do you want to be a major part in the plot all of the sudden?" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"It has nothing to do with plot development Megane." Sougo deadpanned. "A while ago the Kaientai were suspected in being involved in a terrorist plot by Takasugi's Join fraction, and therefore avoided a proper investigation of the Shinsemgumi. So you and your idiot leader either can be placed in holding cells awaiting trial, or you can allow me to come too."

"Sadist! Mutsu and the Brainless idiot didn't have anything to do with that!" Kagura whined. "You just want to stalk me!"

"It's not stalking if you've already accepted me, China. And I can't trust a potential terrorist either." The sadist replied.

"Okita-san! Sakamoto-san really had nothing to do with it! In fact, Takasugi-san was the one that stole Sakamoto-san's cargo, and set him up for a huge disaster." Shinpachi explained.

"It'll take more than words to convince me Megane." The young officer replied.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but you and this young lady are sexually active correct?" Mutsu spoke up, not troubled by the accusations at all.

"What kind of question is that?" Shinpachi yelled.

"Yeah. Sadist and I do it every day, a bunch of times a day. We just did it in the VIP bathroom." Kagura answered plainly.

"No one wants to hear that!" Shinpachi turned bright red.

"Don't forget the couch, floor, and table China." Okita added.

"Oh yeah! We did it all so fast that it was hard to keep track of how many times!" Kagura said cheerfully.

"Does that answer your question, Mutsu-san?" Okita smirked, making his grip tighter.

"I see. Should you let us pass without incident, I will introduce you to our Adult inventory from the legendary Planet Erotica. I believe all of earth's cosplay clubs and adult shops get our cheapest supply; however, none of earth's dealers have even seen what that planet truly has to offer. How about it, Shisemgumi-san?"

"It's Okita Sougo, captain of 1st division, and yes. We have a deal, Mutsu-san." The police officer smiled.

"You corrupt bastard! What happened to your cause?" Shinpachi yelled.

"Oi! Sougo! No making deals behind the Shinsemgumi's back!" Okita's walkie-talkie went off, and the boy picked it up.

"Ah, Hijikata-san…don't worry, I'm just using that as a cover to do a full inspection. If you interrupt my infiltration process, you'll have to commit seppuku." The younger boy replied to his superior.

"You're not inspecting anything! I flat out heard you that your exchanging sex toys for freedom! Oi Sougo! I'll have you commit seppuku for this!" Hijikata was cut-off when his subordinate turned off his walkie-talkie.

"Now where were we?" Sougo smiled pleasantly.

"I want to pick out the toys with you Sadist." Kagura spoke up.

"If we are to leave tomorrow you won't have time." Mutsu replied.

"Ah. Then make it three days from now." Kagura replied. "Sadist and I want to try out everything we choose before making a final decision."

"You just want free product demonstration! Experimentation only goes so far! Think of the audience and how they see you, Kagura-chan!" Megane yelled.

"The audience isn't actually going to see or read anything, so it's okay." The Yato pointed out. "Otherwise this fic would be rate 'M'."

"I'm saddened China, I would've at least thought that you would put our acts at NC-17 level. I guess I've been going too easy on you; don't worry, I'll properly prove my point tonight." Okita said, his arms now fully on her waist.

"You already have a point in your pants!" Shinpachi pointed out.

Suddenly, the group heard groaning and turned to their supposed 'leaders'. Gintoki was the first to get up; he rubbed his head and looked at the bewildered group. "So what I miss?"

"A conversation not meant for anyone's ears Gin-san. A conversation that should never be repeated." Shinpachi was going to be traumatized for a week at least.

**Three Days Later**

After various yelling matches, blackmail, and arguments; Sougo and Kagura finally got their way, and had enjoyed three full days of NC-17 rated fun. Kagura admitted she had underestimated her boyfriend and complained about why he hadn't been that rough and powerful before. When he pointed out how fragile she looked shivering in pleasure and how boring it would be is she simply came in five minutes; the Yato girl slammed his head against the floor and said that she could handle whatever the sadist had in the bag.

Gintoki and Shinpachi had a much worse three days than that. When they arrived at the Shinsemgumi's doorstep, Yamazaki simply let them in, knowing that Sougo and Kagura had taken over the Odd-Jobs HQ and wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. Gitnokinmuttered about replacing everything in his house, and the damage those two often inflicted during their acts. Hijikata was annoyed because Kondo just let the deal that Okita made go, considering that their superiors didn't have enough evidence to convict the suspected trading company anyways; though the Vice-Captain was certain the Kaientai at least knew Takasugi. But that didn't matter; with that perm-samurai around, he was too on-edge to have a coherent conversation. Shinpachi, on the other hand, had to deal with endless questions from Kondo about his sister.

In short, everyone lost but Sougo and Kagura; as it always happened when it came to them consummating their relationship. So when the morning rolled around, Gintoki got up early for once and was ready at the gate, awaiting Shinpachi. A few hours later, they were at the airport terminal, waiting for their third member. After an hour, both realized that Kagura had either overslept or she was having another round with the Shinsengumi officer. Seriously, just how often did they do it? But neither dared go back to the Odd-Jobs HQ, the last time they walked in on those two…neither got the bokkutos out of their butts without the barely-contained laughter of the doctors. Thanks to that, the hospital could call on them for free jobs whenever they wanted.

"Gin-chan! Shinpachi!" Both sighed in relief, and turned to see herself, her boyfriend, and giant dog with her.

In a calm voice, Shinpachi spoke. "Kagura-chan…we talked about this. Okita-san and Sadaharu can't come with us, we agreed that Okita-san would take care of Sadaharu while we were gone. That's what we agreed, right Gin-san?"

"That's right. AND AFTER BEING KICKED OUT OF MY HOME FOR YOU TWO TO TAINT IT, I'M NOT GIVING IN ON ANYTHING ELSE!" Gintoki most likely woke up the whole galaxy.

"Shut up, Danna; I'm just here to see China off." The boy dead-panned. "Make sure she's fed properly or be executed for domestic neglect."

"How does that work? We should be threatening you with that!" Shinpachi yelled.

"Yeah right, anyways, China." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a charger of some kind. 'Please not a vibrator charger', thought Gintoki and Shinpachi. "You forgot your phone charger, call me or text me to let me know you're still alive, otherwise I'll go looking for you. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah, protective bastard." Kagura muttered taking the charger. "You better take care of Sadaharu." She hugged her giant puppy. "He needs plenty of tender-loving care!"

"Then why is Okita-kun taking care of him? Okita-kun would give him hard-boiled pain." Gintoki pointed out.

"Yeah, I got it…needy bitch." The officer caught the punch thrown at him and pulled Kagura into a forceful kiss. After a few moments, he pulled away and gave her a tight hug, clutching her head and waist. "Come back safe China, that's an order."

"Be safe Sadist, that's an order." She hugged back and let go. After giving one final hug to Sadaharu, she joined her companions, who had already walked into the airlock to avoid the semi-mushy scene.

Okita watched the space-ship take off with the giant dog beside him, contemplating arranging something to follow them. But then thought against it; he wouldn't be able to set up preparations to kill Danna and the Mayo-bastard, damn! He had to get the tedious work done before he could take over Danna's home; permanently making it his and China's loveshack.

**Four Days Later**

Gintoki gave a visible twitch, he forgot how much of a pain it was to travel with Sakamoto; no forget pain; it was sheer torture! The idiot wouldn't stop calling him _that name_, Shinpachi forgot his Ipod, so he was Otsu deprived and was in a shitty mood, and there was no sugar on this ship! Just freakin' alcohol! Which was fine under normal circumstances, the only problem was, there was no sugar! So he had been on withdrawal for days! Kagura was fine! In fact, she had all the natto (of all things) she could eat! Gintoki swore, if this thing didn't land soon, he was gonna go nuts. Speaking of landing…

_"WARNING! FUEL LOW! EMPLOYING EMERGENCY LANDING MECHANISM!" _An automatic voice reached the passengers' ears. Kagura yawned and woke up, rubbing her eyes, Shinpachi looked up from his fetal position with a dead-look in his eyes, and Gintoki's tick couldn't have gotten any worse.

The automatic doors opened, revealing Mutsu. "My idiot leader had taken an alternative route through an asteroid field, so we used all the gasoline in maneuvering and speed. He also missed the pit stop to refuel, so we'll be doing an emergency crash-landing."

"Crash-landing?" Gintoki repeated. "Surely you meant landing, right? As in a normal landing right? There won't be any crashing, right?"

"Don't worry, we'll be crashing on that moon over there, so we'll be fine. Fasten your seat-belt until further notice." The door snapped shut.

"Heh heh…." Gintoki's twitch landed until the harsh crashing ten minutes later.

**CRRRRRRRRRRRASSSSSSSSSH!**

Gintoki, Kagura, and Shinpachi struggled to regain themselves as the ship finally stopped moving. "Damn that Sakamoto!" Gintoki growled and managed to get to cockpit. "Oi! Sakamoto! You alive?" He pulled his friend's head up, seeing his grinning and bloody face told the perm-guy he was fine and slammed his face back down against the steering wheel. He turned to his assistant, who had been covered by air-bag. "Oi, where are we?"

"No idea, as I said; this was an emergency landing. All I know is that we're on the moon of some random planet; go outside and check the surrounding. I'll revive my idiotic leader and assess the ship's damage." Mutsu ordered.

"Eh? Why do I have to do the hard stuff? Why can't-"

"I see, then I'll dump you with the useless weight that was holding down the ship." She interrupted.

"Come on Kagura! Shinpachi! Let's explore!" Without further trouble, he dragged his two disheveled comrades outside. They were indeed on a moon; a barren wasteland indeed. "Geez, nothing but white rocks and dirt; leave it to Sakamoto to crash somewhere useless." As he was about to go back inside, something caught his eye- a person! There was a living life-form! "Kagura! Shinpachi! There's a martian! He's bald, huge ears, weird body and everything! Just like the movies! Kagura, you approach it! You have diplomacy credits here!"

"I don't know that race of alien Gin-chan! Top lumping me in with ugly freaks." Kagura complained.

"You two are ridiculous, I'll go." Shinpachi sighed and stepped over to the man, probably about ten feet away from them. HE was tall, pale, bald with a white wrap around his head, muscular, and had some-type of circular mechanism around his body. Oh, and his earlobes…his earlobes were as big as an African tribe woman preparing herself for marriage. He seemed to be meditating judging by his pose. "Ano…sumimasen! Could you help us for a moment?" The man turned around to face him in shock.

"More humans? Who are you, how'd you get here?" He demanded.

"Ah! Me and my friends kind of crash-landed here and we were hoping you could help us. I'm Shimura Shinpachi, and those two are Sakata Gintoki and Yato Kagura. Nice to meet you." The boy bowed politely. "What's your name?"

"Ah. I am Enel, God of this world; feel free to pay your respects to me." Shinpachi groaned, great another arc started.

**Review please! Yep, they landed on Skypia! As I said, I'm writing this in a completely different style than last time. Gintama is famous for breaking the fourth-wall with audiences a lot, so I intend to do that somewhat in this fic. As for other characters: Mutsu, Otae, Kondo, Hijikata, and Takasugi. Takasugi and Kagura's brother, Kamui, will actually be the main villans along with villans from a recent arc called the Mimiwaragumi; they're essentially the Shinsemgumi but all come from rich or high-class families. Kamui and Nobume (Mimiwaragumi's 2nd seat) will be paired up. Takasugi used to be Gintoki's ally during the war in his world, but their ideological differences tore them apart. Otae is Shinpachi's sister, and is known for having a sweet demeanor, but a demonic aura. Hijikata is the Vice-Captain of the Shinsemgumi, mayonnaise-lover, and Sougo hates his guts. Kondo is the Shinsemgumi leader and stalks Otae. And finally, Mutsu is Sakamoto's business assistant, and is in charge of making sure her boss doesn't kill the business.**

**So anyways, the first island's Skypia, and I have a fairly solid road-map of what islands they'll hit. Haven't exactly decided when the Strawhats will meet up with them, but it won't be for awhile. Along with the villains I mentioned above, the Navy and World Government will also have nasty tricks up their sleeve, so they'll be plenty of that. The only thing I haven't decided is if I'm going to have Whitebeard and Ace alive; the Strawhats would still have their training, but I still haven't decided on Ace or Whitebeard. What do you guys think? Review or PM me for any comments, questions, or concerns.  
**


	3. Heaven really is a place on Earth?

**Hey people! Next chapter is out and please review it! I honestly hate the new-image thing on fanction, but I can live it at least. What I cannot live with is, irresponsible and nosy administrators telling me what to write. So please go to the next chapter after reading this to join the struggle! **

**But in this chapter, Odd-Jobs fights Enel and lands in Skypia, enjoy!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama  
**

The Odd-Jobs trio stared at the tall man in front of them, and stared some more. Finally, Enel got fed up with their silence and bored looks and spoke. "Oi? Did you not here me? I said you could pay your respects to me-"

"Look Gin-chan! A human-beetled hybrid!" Kagura exclaimed, pointing at it.

"Eh?" The moon residence asked.

"No, Kagura…it's obviously Pedoro's cousin, Stalkero." Gintoki replied.

"I thought we agreed that was Kondo-san, Gin-san." Shinpachi pointed out.

"Ah. The Gorilla is only Stalkeror 2.0; this man goes to greater heights to enhance his perversion, including trying to compensate for something missing on his lower regions. Look at the thing on his back, imitating an Indian God, obviously he has a God-complex because he can't satisfy any human." The perm samurai pointed out.

"C-Can't satisfy…any…human?" Enel twitched.

"I'm more creeped out by his earlobes Gin-chan, they're droopy and gross, and they remind me of one of those cannibalistic tribes." Kagura said.

"Kagura-chan…gross earlobes don't mean cannibalism." Shinpachi stated. "So Enel-san…could you tell us where we are?"

"…You're on Fairy Vearth, the heavenly world that lives above the clouds of the world below us; we reside in the stars-"

"Gin-chan, I can see earth from here!" Kagura cut-off the lame rant, and pointed downwards.

"Ah the earth! That means we're on the moon, good to know!" Gintoki replied. "WAIT! MOON? HOW THE HELL ARE WE ABLE TO BREATHE HERE?"

"Calm down Gin-san, we're probably in an Amanto universe where oxygen is available in outer space." Shinpachi suggested logically.

"That means life is actually possible in space! Oi Anal!" Gin patted his shoulder. "There any martians here? I'd like to meet some."

"Excuse me?" Enel twitched. "Did you just call me Anal?"

"Ah, it's your name right? You don't prefer to do it missionary obviously, but-"

"DIE!" Enel positioned his hand, and electricity fell on Gintoki. The samurai twitched as he was deep-fried.

"Gin-san!" Shinpachi crouched beside him. "Are you all right? Where'd that lightning come from?"

"Tsk, tsk…you mortals will pay fro insulting the Great Enel." Enel stood straight up, a positioned his fingers again. "As I said, I am God; any one who dares oppose me, will suffer the consequences"

"Gin-chan! Wake up; I found something interesting." Kagura said, kicking the samurai's stomach a bunch.

"Kagura-chan! You're making it worse!" Shinpachi yelled. "You told you to obliterate his ribs?"

"Sadist told me that if they vomit from being kicked in the stomach, then they're alive." She replied nonchalantly.

"You spend too much time together!" Megane yelled.

"Says you! You're just jealous because you don't have a girlfriend, Shut-in!" She yelled.

"Kagura-chan…that was low…even for you…" Shinpachi sat in a random corner a few feet away.

"You're right…sorry Megane, I'm used to saying hardcore things more often than I used to." Kagura explained, patting his back.

Meanwhile, Enel watched the scene playing out in front of him, he was twitching horribly; electricity was pouting out of his body. "You people…will suffer. SANGO!" He shot electricity at Kagura and Shinpachi, but it was deflected as soon as it had flown. Kagura and Shinpachi stopped their bickering, and stood up, ready to fight; although…they found it very hard not to laugh at their leader at the moment. Gintoki stood in front of them, charred in body and most likely, soul, but his perm had evolved into a huge afro, that was bigger than a beach ball.

"You…RUINED MY NATURAL PERM!" Gintoki shouted, charging Enel. He struck Enel several times, ranting. "Now I have to go to shop to get this fixed! Do you have any idea how much I prided myself on having a natural perm? Do you? Now part of signature-presence is gone!" Gintoki delivered a powerful kick to Enel, sending him into a rock. "Honestly! Do you have any idea how long it took me to grow it like this? You're paying for the barber shop trip, you bastard!"

"Ano…Gin-san…there's no Barber shop on the moon." Shinpachi pointed out.

"YOU'RE RIGHT! Shinpachi! You're the most level-headed of us! Find a way to build a spaceship, so we can get out of here!" Gintoki grabbed the front of the boy's shirt.

"I'm not an engineer Gin-san!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"Don't worry, Gin-chan! I'll find something!" Kagura sped off.

"OI! Kagura-chan! Don't leave just because you got bored with the fight!" Shinpachi exclaimed, twitching. "Gin-san…we need to figure out how to discipline."

"In a moment, Shinpachi-kun…help me find a mirror!" Gintoki was looking around frantically for something to see his head in.

During the chaos, neither of them noticed a hand twitch. Enel got up and breathed in annoyance, his eyes were at the silver-haired samurai. Getting into position, he shouted: "SANGO!"

"It is important-" Gintoki cut himself off, and pushed Shinpachi aside. He positioned his sword above him and deflected the lightning.

"Why isn't this working?" Enel twitched in annoyance, remembering his fight with the rubber boy. The pirate captain had been completely immune to his attacks, and while this man's body didn't possess immunity, his weapon did. "You…what's your weapon made of?"

"What? This? It's a cheap, wooden sword I bought from a gift shop in Lake Toya." Gintoki scratched his head.

"Wood?" Enel raised a brow, so wood was immune to his lightning as well. But form what he remembered, wood burned from lightning, didn't it? "Doesn't wood burn when lightning strikes it?"

"Ah, you don't your physics Anal-kun." Gintoki smirked. "While it's true that lightning can strike trees, it can't strike a moving object; something to do with motion."

"You're the one who needs a physics lesson, Gin-san." Shinpachi sweat-dropped.

"Hmph. No matter…if your weapon's immune, it doesn't matter if your bodies aren't." Enel snorted. "I've grown bored and annoyed with you…thank you for momentarily entertaining me. KITEN!" Enel gathered his hands above him, and as soon as he uttered the words, a giant electrical tiger formed, and he was riding on top of it.

"Shinpachi…get back." Gintoki positioned himself in front of the younger boy.

"Gin-san…" Shinpachi hesitated.

"If anything happens to me, I just ant you to know-"

CRASH!

A giant, woden ark came barrel forwarding and crashed into Enel and his electrical best; sending the man into a rock. His but stuck out from his buried position. Gitnoki and Shinpachi stared in shock at the scene, but it didn't stop there. In fact…they found themselves even worse off than before. "Gin-chan! Shinpachi!" Kagura waved at them from the ship. "I'll suck you in, okay!"

"Eh?" Both men blinked, and suddenly felt themselves being pulled forward by a giant gust of wind, and into a giant vaccum hose. "KAGURA!" They yelled as they were sent into the brink of the ark.

"OKAY! LIFT OFF!" Kagura pulled a random lever, and the ship went from sliding on the ground, to actual flight, taking off into the sky, towards the earth.

Enel was left twitching, and didn't even notice the woman behind him. "Excuse me sir, do you have a ship, we could spare? We ran out of fuel, due to our idiot leader piloting through a meteor shower for fun." Mutsu asked clueless. She wondered what happened while she was gone.

**Meanwhile**

Somehow, Gintoki and Shinpachi managed to get themselves out of the brink, and onto an actual level of the ship. They managed to navigate their way up to the cockpit, where Kagura was currently driving. Simultaneously, they stalked up behind her and BAM! They bonked her head, hard!

"Gin-chan! Shinpachi! What was that for?" Kagura asked, rubbing her head.

"That was for interrupting my epic moment! Don't you know not to interfere with a fight when it's happening?" Gintoki demanded.

"That's what you're worried about?" Shinpachi exclaimed. "Kagura-chan! Do you have any idea where we're going? Where'd you find this?"

"I don't know, I found it in some garage by tiny space people, but I just kicked them, and went on. I pushed a shiny red button, and it started moving." Kagura explained. "I thought that was cool, so I started pushing all sorts of buttons, and-"

"How in the hell did you know how the vacuum hose worked?" Gintoki exclaimed.

"I pushed it before, and it sucked up garbage, so I knew it'd suck you up Gin-chan!" Kagura explained cheerfully.

"Garbage! I'll show you garbage, you little turd!" Gintoki reached to grab her, and started chasing each other around the ship.

"Ano…" Shinpachi nervously noticed there was no one driving the ship, and they had no idea where the hell they were going. "…DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO DRIVE THIS THING?"

"Eh?" Kagura and Gintoki ceased their bickering, before realizing he was right.

Moments later…

DROP!

The ark stopped beating its wings, and fell. The Odd-jobs group was sent to the ceiling from the pull instantly.

"I blame you for this Gin-chan!" Kagura exclaimed.

"ME? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GRABBED THE SHIP!" Gintoki exclaimed.

"I SAVED US FROM THAT ANAL-GUY!" Kagura shouted.

"WHAT DO WE DO, GIN-SAN?" Shinpachi yelled.

"STAY CALM AND SPREAD OUT! MINIMIZE THE IMPACT IN ANY WAY YOU CAN!" The silver-haired samurai braced himself for the worse.

"Gin-chan! I see something white! We're in clouds!" Kagura pointed out.

"THAT MEANS WE'VE REACHED WHATEVER EARTH THIS IS!" He answered. "THIS IT! GET READY-"

BOUNCE!

"EH?" The three blinked, and crashed to the floor; feeling the ship bounce three more times before settling.

"Gin-san…are we dead?" Megane asked.

"I-I don't know…someone look outside." Gintoki ordered.

"You look outside, useless samurai." Kagura groaned, picking herself up. "But since you're a group of cowards, I'll leave you to pick up the slack." The Yato girl walked towards the door.

"YOU'RE JUST STICKING US WITH THE REPAIR BILL!" Megane accused.

"Shinpachi, it doesn't matter; she'll be the sacrifice." Gintoki placed a reassuring hand on the youngster's shoulder.

"You're right Gin-san, she's-"

"AAAGUH!" The girl's scream destroyed the mens' resolve, and they tore through the door.

"Kagura? What's-" Gintoki cut himself off by what he saw, and didn't even notice the girl rush past him. He had to be dreaming, he just had to be. In front of him was a forest, on giant clouds; there was a beach on a sea of clouds. "Oi Shinpachi! Did we drink anything? Did Sakamoto or Mutsu slips something in our drinks while we weren't looking?"

"I'm not sure Gin-san but…do you think Otsu-chan will appear here? She's an angel after all…" Shinpachi asked.

"Don't be stupid!" BONK! Gintoki knocked Shinpachi onto the clouds; panic struck the samurai once he realized what he did but, vanished a second later.

"Itai! Gin-san! You could've killed me you idiot!" Shinpachi accused.

"S-Shinpachi…you're on a cloud…" Gintoki pointed a shaky finger at him. "I-Is this h-heaven?" BONK! Gintoki was launched form his spot, head first into the cloud-fluff. Kagura stood at the doorway with her forgotten umbrella and her assassin sunglasses.

"Move Gin-chan! The sun's too intense in this world." The girl groaned. "Let's go back."

"WE CAN'T GO BACK BECAUSE YOU CRASHED THE SHIP!" Both men yelled.

"Pardon me for being the only productive member of society in our group!" Kagura made a face. "Anyways, where are we? We in heaven? Did we die? Where's the Sunboku?"

"Who cares about the Sunboku? We could possibly be dead here! Don't you care about seeing your pedo-boyfriend again?" Gintoki exclaimed.

"Oh, the sadist and I agreed to kill each other if one of us dies. Either he commits suicide, or I drag him to hell, uh-huh." Kagura nodded.

"THAT'S A STEPHEN KING NOVEL!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"Excuse me." The group stopped arguing, and turned to the new voice. They stared; in front of them, was a beautiful blonde-haired girl, in a pink-nurse-like outfit, had wings on her back, was carrying a harp and a fox, and had antennae as her hair-style. "Welcome…are you here to visit our island?"

SMACK! Gitnoki slapped Shinnpachi's shoulder. "Shinpachi, this image of beauty before us is proof we're in heaven."

"Indeed Gin-san, she's even at Ostu-chan's level." Shinpachi nodded.

"You guys have watched too much porn lately; she's too sweet and innocent looking for my taste." Kagura said. "With the stuff the sadist and I watched; we only go for the hard-core ones."

"WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DO YOU HAVE?" Her guardians yelled.

"Ano…would you like a your of our island?" She asked nervously.

"Well, if we're in heaven, might as well get a house." Gintoki sighed.

"Um no…this isn't Heaven's Gate, it's up north on the next island. The island you're on right now is Skypia; we're the main sky district of the Grand Line." She explained pleasantly.

"Ano…I'm sorry…but could you explain?" Shinpachi asked. "What's Skypia? What's the Grand Line? More importantly…how in the world do islands float? Do you even get any water up here?"

"W-Why a-are you yelling?" She started sniffling.

"Nice going, Megane, you freaked her out." Kagura said.

"Aren't you a little freaked out?" Shinpachi demanded at Kagura.

"Calm down, let's just properly ask her what exactly she said in more simple terms, and surely will get it." The oldest said confidently.

"What's going on here?" Another voice broke the conversation. They turned to see an old man, with a long white beard, in knight armor. "Who are you people? What are you doing, harassing Conis-chan?"

"Gan Fall-sama! You shouldn't be out! Remember what the physician said!" Conis scolded.

"Doesn't matter, when there are intruders to take care of!" He declared. "Now tell me! Who are you people, and what do you want here?"

"Er! I'm Shimura Shinpachi, nice to meet you!" The glasses boy bowed respectfully. "These are my colleagues, Sakata Gintoki and Yato Kagura; we're the Odd-Jobs work group. We go around doing errands and other minial tasks that get us involved in some life-threatening plot, because Sorachi-sensei likes torturing us."

"Sorachi-sensei? Is he the God of your religion?" The old man raised a brow.

"No! He's more like our own personal grim reaper, who keeps dealing out punishment." Shinpachi replied. "So anyways…we kind of crash-landed here on that ship over there, so we-"

"My word…" The old man and blonde girl's eyes widened to saucers. "Is that…Enel's ship?"

"Eh? You know Anal-kun?" Gintoki spoke up.

"E-Excuse me?" The blonde squeaked.

"Yeah. We fought him back at the moon, and he generously donated this ship to us to get back down to earth." Gitnoki scratched the back of his head.

"Kagura-chan highjacked it. There was no consent in it at all." Megane shot.

"You…managed to defeat Enel? Without help?" Gan Fall asked, almost stuttering. "What kind of devil fruit do you have?"

"Eh, I hate to brag but my fruits have been known to attract attention." Gintoki swaved his hair.

BANG! Shinpachi and Kagura hit his head. "DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT!"

"Anyways, you two know Enel-san?" Shinpachi asked.

"Eh…we should talk over tea…doesn't that sound good?" Conis suggested nervously.

**10min Later-Gan Hall's house**

After several tense moments, passed, Gan Hall finally spoke. "That's quite a story…"

"So let me get this straight." Conis cut in. "You three not only incapacitated Enel-san, but insulted him, and finally stole his ship."

"And you lost control of the ship, because you didn't know how to operate it." The old man cut-in.

"And finally…crash-landed here on Angel Island…" Pagaya, Conis' father finished. "What in God's name is wrong with you people? Why would you operate a ship you don't know how to fly?"

"Hey! This brat sucked us onto the ship with a vacuum! We didn't take that ride willingly!" Gintoki exclaimed.

"That's the last time I save your life, ingrate. Hey you! More of this fluffy stuff!" Kagura ordered Conis, to refill the bowl of Skypia candy she just devoured.

"Kagura-chan don't be rude!" Shinpachi scolded. "I know this all may seem hard to believe, but we genuinely didn't mean to crash-land on your island; this whole situation is actually the fault of a friend of ours."

"Really?" Gan Hall rose a brow.

"Ah. We crashed-landed on the moon because of that idiot, Sakamoto, who hopefully…Mutsu has put a bounty on his head, and someone's managed to kill him." Gintoki grinned sadistically.

"My, my, is this Sakamoto-san a pirate?" Conis asked.

"No, just a trader." Shinpachi answered. "He and Mutsu-san run a trading company, that's all."

"I see…so in any case, you've crash-landed here, and have destroyed your only hope of ever getting home." The old man said bluntly. "What do you plan to do now?"

"Simple, we find a way to repair the ship or drag Sakamoto's ass back down here." The perm-head said nonchalantly. "Oi…I need something sugary, do you have anything? Strawberry milk, by any chance?"

"Gin-san!" Megane implored.

"I just realized I haven't had sugar in days Shinpachi-kun…" Gintoki sagged, a dark aura took over him. "I need some or else, I'll go crazy."

"Er…how about we go to the Pumpkin Café? I think some good food might do us all some good, and we can get you a Pumpkin Fluffer." Seeing the man's doubtful expression, she continued. "It's basically a cream mixed with pumpkin, it's very sweet."

"Conis-chan…we can't be this casual with strangers." Gan Hall sighed.

"Demo…they seem so hungry." She replied.

"You're taking us there, or I stomp through this cloud-island trying to find it." The permhead said.

"Before that." Pagaya interrupted. "Why don't you tell us why you came here?"

"Ah. We were looking for 'The Pirate's Eye Diamond'." Shinpachi answered.

"WHAT?" The three Skypians yelled.

"What? Is it something special?" Kagura asked, eating up another bowel of food.

"STOP EATING AND PAY ATTENTION!" Everyone in the room yelled.

**Review Please! So to clarify a few things, I don't exactly know Kagura and Sougo's ages, but I'm guessing 14 or 15 (Kagura) and 19 (Sougo), I know the age difference is a little much, but they're seriously an awesome couple. Also, Pedoro is a joke-character in the Gintama series, I'm not sure how to explain it, so please look it up. For any comments, questions, or concerns, review or PM me.**


	4. When your car crashes, Get the Insurance

**Hey guys! Next chapter to this awesome crossover! So I sent petition to support server, and hopefully we can get enough people on this. So anyways, in this chapter, not much happens other than the plot finally starts. I apologize for it taking so long. Also, please review! I work hard on the stories I write, so please review these chapters if your reading them. It's nice to know your work is appreciated. So please keep it one review above the amount of chapters out, and we're good. Without further ado, please read, enjoy, and review the next chapter of this awesome crossover!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama  
**

"Conis…are you, Gan Hall-sama, and Pagaya-san sure these three are okay to be in here? Don't they come from below?" Laki asked warily. The permhead and megane were busy staring at the women, while Kagura was currently chowing through the pumpkin noodle challenge. In fact, the girl had completed three, and didn't show any signs of stopping. "Who are these people, anyways? Are they pirates?"

"No…they called themselves 'Odd-Jobs', they go around and do work to whoever pays them. They crash-landed here from the moon, and apparently have to retrieve a treasure based on the request of a client." Conis explained.

"I see…and how exactly did they get transportation from the moon?" The dark-haired girl asked.

"They stole Enel's ship and crashed it into the beach." Gan Hall and Pagaya said at the same time, groaning at how much the restaurant bill was going to be.

"What? These three, best Enel? How?" Laki couldn't believe it! Only the Strawhat captain had defeated Enel in the past, and that was over two years ago.

"I'm not sure but…apparently, that perm-head over there…prefers carrying a wooden sword instead of a metal one. While he did defeat Enel from the sound of it (despite being rescued by that psychopathic red-haired girl), it sounds like his sword was sacrificed because of it. It was turned to ash due to the attacks." Gan Hall sighed.

"So what do they want exactly?" Laki asked.

"That's where it gets weird…they're looking for 'The Pirate's Eye Diamond'." Gan Hall replied quietly.

"What? Wasn't that the heavenly diamond that remained below when the island rose to the sky? That was over five hundred years ago." Laki said thoughtfully.

"Yes, but…there client requested on finding it, and they are under contract; they have no choice." Conis explained.

"Tch. How do we even know the diamond exists?" She demanded.

"We don't." Gan Hall spoke up. "However…they need a way to safely get to the lower surface, and we wish to see if that treasure is real or not…I'm sure we can arrange something with them."

**With Odd-Jobs**

"This stuff is pretty great, isn't it?" Shinpachi asked, slurping some pumpkin noodles. "Although…it's pretty rude to just eat up their supply, Kagura-chan."

"That old guy's paying for us, so why not?" Kagura shrugged.

"That's right Shinpachi-kun, you need to bask in moments like this." Gintoki replied. "Another parfait please!"

"Parfait?" The waitress tilted her head, not understanding the logo.

"Yes, the parfait is ultimate solution and reason of existence. It's a beautiful mixture of ice cream, fudge sauce, whip cream, and sprinkles with the occasional pocky sticks. Done in this order with a few artistic touches, you have the craftsmanship that not God himself could not compete with." Gintoki preached.

"I see." The lady sweat-dropped. Gan Hall was many things, but that man could not cook or bake, she thought to herself. "I'll be right back then."

"Much appreciated." The perm-head nodded. He then noticed the Skypian-group coming his way. "Ah. Gout-san, over here."

"Gout? Did you just call me, Gout?" The old man twitched.

"Eh. That's your name isn't it?" Gintoki shrugged. "Anyways, thanks for the meal. It's the best eatin' we've had in awhile."

"Eh?" Conis spoke up. "We aren't treating you to my knowledge."

The odd-jobs group froze, dropping the food out of their mouths. "You idiots honestly thought you were being treated? That's completely against the Shandian way; we pay our own way and provide for ourselves."

"Ah, wait minute, you brought us here, so naturally we assumed you were treating us." Gintoki argued nervously.

"It doesn't matter, what matters is-" Papaya was cut-off.

"You heard it right, Shinpachi? Kagura? The initial agreement was that they treat us!" Gintoki exclaimed, loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear.

"That's right, uh-uh. I thought it was heaven's policy to feed the hungry!" Kagura protested.

"With you it wasn't feeding the hungry, it was feeding the world's afterlife!" Laki shouted; pissed at all the giant bowels Kagura ate. "How do you three intend to pay for this?"

"UH! It's as Gin-san said! There was no verbal agreement that we were to pay! This is an outrage!" Megane shouted.

"Forget about the food! If we could get back to the diamond-" Gan Hall tried.

"I say forget your shriveled jewels old man! You're not getting mine!" Gintoki exclaimed, standing up with the other two odd-jobs. "Kagura! Evasive action! Vomit commencement 1-D!"

"Things like that shouldn't have a name!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"RIGHT!" The girl stuck a finger in the back of her throat, and inevitably; vomit covered the whole restaurant.

"Now's out chance-" Gintoki grabbed his cohorts and they jumped out a window, and fled the scene. While the cloud-people simply stared at their vomit-filled restaurant; forget paying the bill, they were gonna have to shut down. Laki twitched in anger.

"AFTER THEM!" The dark-haired girl and several others stormed out of the restaurant in pursuit of the odd-jobs idiots. After running by several trashcans, the trio peered out to insure it was safe.

"That was close." Gintoki sighed.

"Too close. How do you get of here, Gin-san? According to Conis-san, we're in the sky." Megane pointed out.

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious Megane, but the better question is how do we get to the hell island, because that way I can nuke it and this world will be absent of this burning sun." The Yato girl spoke.

"That's not a viable solution!" Shinpachi yelled.

"Then you think of one, Megane!" Kagura demanded.

"Grrr! Gin-san! What should we do?" No response. Shinpahci turned to his superior, he saw the White-haired man was sating at something. "Gin-san…what is it?"

Very slowly, the perm-head lifted a finger. "That…" Shinpachi and Kagura looked ahead and stared; the girl grinned while the Megane paled. In front of them was what looked like to be a scooter, but had the shape of a rowboat, and was big enough for multiple people to stand on it. There seemed to be a seashell in the dashboard that was similar to a speed dial in a car or normal scooter. Shinpachi sweatdropped, already knowing how this was gonna end.

"Gin-san…we're obviously in a different world or dimension, we have no idea if that scooter is even remotely similar to yours. Besides, if we're on an island, they'll eventually catch up to us." Shinpachi said logically.

"Shinpachi-kun, despite times like these call for desperate measures. Let's go! Both of you!" Gitnoki hopped on, Kagura and Shinpachi followed. "So…any idea how to start this thing?"

"I don't know, there' probably an instruction manual somewhere-"

"I'll just push the purple button here Gin-chan!" Kagura slapped the seashell hard, cracking it almost. "Ooh…tough shell."

"Kagura-chan! What are you doing? You could've-" Shinpachi cut himself off when he felt himself lift up; Gintoki and Kagura must've noticed too. "Huh, good job Kaugra-chan."

"See? Megane, everything turned out for the-" ZOOOM! And a second later, they took off forward.

**Shandian and Skypian mob**

While the mob searcehd high and low for the free-loaders, it wasn't until Wiper's sharp eyes spotted something coming. "Look! Something's coming!"

"What is that?" Aisa, the youngest of the group spoke up. Upon closer inspection, the group soon realized.

"Oh no." Papaya cried silently.

ZZZZIIIIIPPP!

A strong gust of wind rushed them by, leaving skits blown and hair undone. "Seems like they found your new Waver, father." Conis said.

"Eh." He replied. "NOO! I saved up so much for that!"

"Good riddance." Wiper said. "They crash to the surface with that thing, so I say our problems are solved."

"Not exactly." Gan Hall spoke gravely. "They knew of the legend, that only we if Skypia know- 'The Pirate's Eye Diamond'. Whether they survive or not, I want to know damn well where they got that information from."

**Odd-Jobs**

"AAAAUUGH! This is worse than Jii-chan fixing my scooter! I never how much I loved my scooter! I never knew! I'll never take you for granted again Ketsuno!" Gintoki exclaimed pathetically, while trying to regain control of the motorbike.

"You named your scooter after your crush, Gin-chan? Creepy? That's like saying you sit on Ketsuno Ana like a chair every time you ride your scooter. Really bad S&M, Gin-chan." Kagura said boredly.

"I don't want to hear things like that out of your mouth! And there's nothing wrong with showing worship for your idol! Right Shinpachi?" Gin argued.

"EXACTLY RIGHT! I thinking how I'll never see Otsu again or how I'll never complete my duty to protect her! Oh why did I have to die now?" Shinpachi cried.

"Megane just worsens your argument Gin-chan." Kagura replied.

"CONSOLE US UPON DEATH!" They yelled. Suddenly, they noticed a shift in the air change, and noticed that it felt like they were going down.

"Huh?" The three of them blinked, and then plunged.

"Jii-chan! Somehow I know you're behind this!" Gintoki yelled.

"AAAAUUUGH!" As they plunged, Kagura went forward and turned the handles to the right.

"Might as well try to survive." Kagura shrugged. "Can't let the Sadist outlive me."

"Don't talk about your boyfriend now! He's the last person I want to hear about upon my death!" Shinpachi yelled.

"What about the Gorilla and Big Sis getting married?" The Yato pointed out.

"NOO!" Shinpachi held his head in pain. "Don't say that!"

"Would you both shut up and let me die in peace?" Gintoki shouted at them.

**Island they're crash-landing towards**

A tall man in a purple-stripped three-piece suit stood on top of the dark castle, looking around in impatience and indifference. Honestly, just what happened here? At one point, this island was run by one of the world government's Shichibukai, but now it was broken down mess. But this was where Gecko Moriah was most likely to be found.

"Vice Admiral Momonga!" A lower-ranked marine ran up to the man. "No sign of Moria!"

"Tch! Keep looking! He's got nowhere to run, he's bound to be on one of these ships." The harsh Vice-Admiral growled.

"Sir!" He ran off to address his other soldiers.

"This is a waste of time…you sure you and your lot don't know anything?" Momonga sneered. There was a group of beaten and disgruntled individuals tied down and bruised; they sported bloody lips and scratches in several places. The Vice Admiral strutted over to them, and put his foot to her face. "Well…?" He pressed his foot further into the pink-haired woman's face.

"Captain Lola!" One of the men exclaimed.

"Stop! We told you! We don't know anything!" One of her men yelled. The Risky Brothers struggled to get out of their binds to help their captain. "That Moria-bastard was driven away by the Strawhats!"

"Strawhats, huh?" The Vice Admiral growled and harshly kicked the poor woman in the face. "Fine, since you know such important people, I'll assume you don't know the whereabouts of that lowlife. What about one of his subordinates, the ghost girl- Perona? I heard she trained with one of the Strawhats over the years."

"We haven't seen that bitch in years!" The first Risky brother shouted. The torture was about to to continue, but another man ran up to them.

"What Lt. Brandnew?" He asked a younger and skinnier man than him, he seemed to be lower in authority, but wore a blue-striped shirt with his uniform.

"We'll be approaching Water 7 soon!" He saluted.

"Good. Have people get ready to make the arrests of the Franky Family! While you're at it, add this Paulie-san and Iceburg-san to the list; it appears they've had connections to the Strawhat crew as well." The Vice Admiral smirked.

"Bastards!" Lola growled.

"Hn. Men!" Momonga turned to his subordinates. "There's no reason for these blasphemies to keep existing; these ships are without a crew, but they cannot be redeemed for the crimes that went on. Therefore, it will be our honor and pleasure to destroy them!"

"YYAAYAH!" His men cheered.

"No…" Lola and her crew were trembling. "Please-"

BBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAM!

It happened in slow motion; at one moment, Momonga was about to give the order to dismantle all the old pirate ships, and then the next, a wooden ship-scooter thing crashed into his butt, sending him flying into the heavily-brush covered forest. The marines and Rolling Pirates stared at what was in front of them, it was three people- a girl with extremely pale skin wearing a Chinese-style outfit, a boy who had no defining characteristics except for his glasses, and a white-haired samurai with a perm. Whatver they rode in on was now in ruins, and the three individuals seemed slightly burnt too.

"Uhhh…Shinpachi-kun…are you alive? What about you Kagura-chan?" The perm-head asked.

"Gin-san…I'm never riding a scooter again." Shinpachi groaned.

"Gin-chan, I'm going to have Sadist revoke your license." Kagura muttered.

"How about a 'Oh Gin-san, thank you for saving my life! I'm so grateful'! Is that too much to ask from you ingrates?" Gintoki exclaimed.

"Ano…" The odd-jobs trio stopped arguing and turned to one of the strangest alien women they had ever seen. "Who are you people, exactly…?"

"Gin-chan! Look! This is proof we're on an Amanto planet! Look how weird that woman looks!" The China girl pointed out.

"Kagura-chan. Don't be rude." Shinpachi groaned.

"Doesn't matter." Gintoki muttered. "Uh…this is a little hard to explain…but we come from a planet called Earth, and we sort of crash-landed on your moon, and then on a sky island, and then crashed here. Where is here, anyways?"

"…I'll just assume you lot are plastered." The pirate woman replied. "I am Lola, captain of the Rolling Pirates, thank you for stopping that horrible man."

"Horrible man?" Gintoki repeated.

"Yeah. Look behind yah." The second risky brother spoke. The Odd-Jobs trip turned around to find a bunch of military people in uniform they didn't recognize, pointing their guns at them. "Thanks for the help, but this island's been seized by marines. That creep you crashed into was Vice Admiral Momonga; a real bastard."

"You don't say…?" Shinpachi twitched and turned back to the group. "Ano…you said you guys were pirates?"

"Yeah. Aren't you?" The first Risky Brother asked.

"No, we're Yorozuya. We go around doing different task for people in exchange fro money; it was just an unfortunate coincidence we ended up here. I'm Shimura Shinpachi; these are my colleagues Yato Kagura and Sakata Gintoki." The boy introduced.

"Yo! Sorry for crashing your arresting-party."Gintoki waved to the marines.

"Is there any Sunboku around here? I'm hungry." Kagura complained.

"Kagura-chan, we almost crash-landed on our doom on that damned wooden, mutated-scooter, how could you possibly be hungry?" The Permhead complained.

"Thrill rides like that stir up my appetite." The girl shrugged. CLICK! The group turned to their left and saw that Vice Admiral pointed his gun at them.

"If you idiots are done with your little discussion, I'm gonna ask you to get on the ground with your hands where I can see them." Momonga glowered.

"Gin-chan. Is this is where the fighting of this arc starts?" Kagura asked.

"Probably, Kagura-chan. Probably." Gintoki stared at the Vice Admiral, while he didn't want to resort to violence, he could tell by that arrogant look on his face, that it was the most likely outcome.

**Review Please! So yeah, they arrive on Thriller Bark, and the plot has officially started. I apologize if any of you were disappointed by the fight btwn Gintoki and Enel or their short time on Skypia. It was meant to be the snowflake that started the avalanche, so I never intended it to be a huge part, although the Skypians will come back with a vengeance. There will be a lot of awesome fights in this, but I'm asking all of you who don't know Gintama to read up or watch the anime a little, because there are some parts where it'll be very hard for me to explain. One fight is going to be Gintoki vs. Akainu, yes, Gintoki is that awesome! The only thing I have not decided is if I am leaving Whitebeard and Ace alive, let me know what you guys think!  
**

**Okay, for the viewers that aren't familiar with Gintama, I need to explain some lingo. Two jokes in the series are Gintoki's hair and Shinpachi's glasses. Gintoki's hair is always in a perm-style, so people always call him 'perm-head' in the series. Shinpachi is always represented by a pair of glasses, which in Japanese means 'Megane'. Kagura's appetite is also a joke in the series, as she can consume food as much as it shows in her strength. Also, 'Jii-chan' refers to the character, Genji, who is a mechanic in the Gintama series who always fixes Gintoki's scooter (and then has it malfunction on him, because Gintoki never pays him). The last joke is, Gintoki always crashes his scooter into the butt of one of the characters in Gintama (a ninja named Hattori Zenzou), so Momonga will be taking said character's place. Review or PM me for any questions or comments you have. One more thing, Gintoki's main transportation in Gintama is a scooter, so that's why the Waver seemed like a good idea.  
**


	5. When throwing tantrum, Go to the Corner

**Hey people another update! Please remember that I like at least one more review than chapters out, so thanks for the contribution! So in this chapter, the plot actually solidifies a little, and the pure humor will stop and give way to adventure and humor! And Gintoki really is this badass; in his own world, he actually defeats the strongest being in the whole Gintama universe (Yato Hosen). That guy was a thousand times stronger than Gintoki at least, and he still managed to pull through, so what you're about to read isn't that big a stretch to Gintoki's skill. So without further ado, here's the next chapter! Read, enjoy, review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama **

Momonga stared harshly at the invading trio; he had no idea where they had come from, but they crashed-landed into his butt, embarrassing him in front of his subordinates and prisoners. He turned to that monstrosity of a transportation vehicle, smirking at the sight of it. With it in ruins, there's no way these idiots would escape. He frowned when he noted the trip hadn't gone to the ground as ordered. "Not the compliant type, eh?"

"Iya, it's just…we don't really have any weapons or anything to attack you with, so there's no reason to be so hostile." Shinpachi reassured them.

"I'll be the judge of that, Megane." The Vice Admiral sneered.

"Even on a different planet I'm identified by my glasses? Why? IS there kind of conspiracy out there?" The boy demanded.

"There's no conspiracy Megane, it's a natural assumption people make." Kagura said bluntly.

"I don't need to hear that from you, China-girl!" Shinpachi yelled.

POW! Kagura punched him. "Only the Sadist is allowed to call me that! That's his pet name for me!"

"Ne, speaking of pets, I wonder how that flea-bag is doing." Gintoki interrupted.

"Sadaharu! We have to find a way back to earth! Sadaharu could be dying of a broken heart from not seeing me!" Kagura exclaimed.

"He's staying with your sadist boyfriend, isn't he?" The permhead yawned, but groaned in annoyance, when the muskets started pointing his head. That made the man raise a brow, he hadn't seen those weapons actually used in combat for awhile. He also noted that these people had no cars or any other electronic devices; Gintoki frowned, where were they? "Can I help you?"

"First of all, identify yourselves. Who are you idiots and what do you want here? Secondly, what was that babble about going back to earth? We're on earth, what code language is that?" The man demanded.

"Wait a minute!" Gintoki exclaimed. "How can this be earth? We're from earth! We crash-landed into your moon, stole a spaceship from a guy named Anal, then crashed into a Sky Island, then stole that stupid scooter, and ended up here! How could this possibly be earth?"

"You're talking non-sense! This is earth! Regardless of how you look at it!" Momonga shouted. "Whatever, it seems as though you three are too delirious to talk, and since this whole area is classified, we can't exactly let you leave." His men readied their guns, causing the Odd-Jobs trip to tense.

"Tch. Whether it's earth or not, the Amanto of this world have the same kind of government that we do." Gintoki growled and looked back at the captured pirate group, particularly the pink-haired woman. "Oi, what's your name again?"

"I am Vice Admiral Momonga of the Navy, the World Government has declared this area of the world classified, so any civilians, pirates, or unauthorized personal of any kind is prohibited from entering here. Which includes you three, now…who are you? Answer me, or be executed on the spot." The Vice Admiral demanded.

"Ah. You're right, we've been rude." Gintoki scratched his head bashfully. "I'm Sakata Gintoki, the leader of this group, my colleagues are of no importance so don't associate them with me."

BAM! "LIKE HELL!" Shinpachi and Kagura punched him.

"I'm Shimura Shinpachi, and I'm the sensible member of the Yorozuya association." The younger boy replied.

"And I'm Yato Kagura, the beauty and brawn of the group." The girl flexed an arm for emphasis. "And we'll show our good-for-nothing-boss, that we can kick more of your asses than he can!"

"We didn't come here for anything, and we didn't come to fight anyone. We crash-landed here by mistake, that's the truth." Shinpachi explained. "We don't want to fight you, but…"

"We don't have time to waste in jail for no reason." Gintoki said, rubbing his nose. "And we weren't lying when we said we came from earth." The permhead smirked and waltzed over to the group of pirates, and knelt down to their level. "I need to borrow two swords, could we use some of yours?"

Lola was stunned. "T-They're over there!" She gestured her head to the discarded weapons pile, this seemed to piss off the silver-haired samurai more.

"Shinpachi-kun, Kagura." The two went to his side without another word, Shinpachi looked at the pile, understanding his superior's anger, feeling it bubble in himself as well. "Pick up a sword Shinpachi, Kagura…make sure to beat their asses so bad they can't sit down."

Momonga looked amused. "You seem angry, Sakata-kun, why might that be?"

Gintoki searched the pile until finally finding what he was looking for, a wooden sword, he pulled it out and turned to face the Vice Admiral. "Tell me Vice Admiral-san, why do you wield a sword? Is it for the fame? The appeal? To pick up girls? I can't tell. That piece of junk in your hilt could mean anything."

"What?" The Vice Admiral glowered. "You better watch your mouth, outlaw. You've got only three people, and have foolishly chosen a wooden sword from that pile." He unsheathed his sword. "I was originally planning just having my men shoot you, but it seems as though you three have to be taught some manners before death."

"Ne Shinpachi-kun…it's funny the way he holds his sword. What does it remind you of?" Gintoki smirked.

"Like a spoiled rich-boy playing pirate." Shinpachi answered.

"What? Playing pirate?" The Vice Admiral was outraged at this point.

"That thing's too gaudy to be a real weapon." Kagura spoke. "I could break that thing in half with a thwack of the fingers."

Momonga seethed for several moments, before finally shouting. "All of you! Bring me there heads! Don't shoot them! Slice them! These bastards need to be taught a lesson! Show them what happens when they compare to the Navy to the Pirates!"

"AAAUGGH!" The men charged forward, swords raised. Without a word, Shinpachi and Kagura separated from Gintoki and divided up; Kgura went left while Shinpachi went right.

Now the Navy was obviously expecting an easy fight from these jokers, including the captured Rolling Pirates. So everyone was shocked at what came next.

Kagura blocked each sword with her umbrella easily, and readied it and started shooting bullets at the marines in its gun-form. The marines scatter from her, not expecting that umbrella to be any real weapon. Unknown to her, there was a marine approaching her from behind, and soon pounced. "Gotcha!" He trapped the girl in a headlock. But instead of going limp or scared, Kagura then showcased her greatest asset, her strength. She banged her head back against the man's face, which caused instant release, and with a small punch, Kagura sent him flying to the group of marines, knocking them down like a bowling ball down an aisle. She smirked at her frightened audience and charged them.

The marines weren't having any better with the glasses-boy. Shinpachi still wasn't very experienced, but with the way he was fighting, it looked like he was an expert amongst amateurs. Which was actually a very accurate description. Shinpachi was flexible and quick enough to where he could swerve between sword attacks and cut down his opponents. He often would perry multiple attacks and have them turn on each other. Shinpachi soon realized he was back to back with Kagura, facing the dwindling number of the marines.

Momonga stared at the chaos around him in shock. "Saa…now that you've seen what the kiddies can do, isn't it about our turn?" He turned to the smirking samurai; with terrified rage, he charged forward, determined to make him take back what he said about him.

CLANG! Gintoki was barely putting effort into blocking the other man's attacks, in fact, Gintoki hadn't even moved from where he stood, while Momonga was attacking him at different angles, varieties, and ideas. Finally, Gintoki's patience wore out and swung the wooden sword forward- BREAK! Momonga stared, his sword's blade had just been halved by a junky wooden sword, that had been previously owned by a pirate. "How…what are you? What devil fruit do you have? Tell me!"

"Huh? You're the second person to ask me what kind of devil fruit I have, and I'll be more than happy to answer again. My fruits are indeed devilish." Gintoki answered.

"Stop screwing with me! The only possible explanation for your victory here is-"

"While I appreciate the compliments towards the my lower groin's talent, I can't say that I like the idea of someone like you saying I didn't earn my victory. The kiddies over there won because your men were horribly trained; at the level their at, they shouldn't even be allowed to carry swords. It's like giving a six year old a fire arm, they think it looks cool and its powerful, but their fascination ends when someone gets shot. As for you, frankly, I'm disgusted that you even carry a sword." Gintoki explained. He walked past Momonga and to the Rolling Pirates; with one swing, the ropes and chains were cut, and the pirates were set free. "It's one thing to defeat your enemy, kill your enemy, but desecrating them, is a completely different matter. By tossing away their weapons into a pile, that means that you see them as nothing but corpses in a pile. Which is true, correct?"

"…Pirates are the scum of the earth. The Rolling Pirates had justice finally catch up to them, nothing more." The Vice Admiral admitted.

"Justice?" Gintoki gave a bitter laugh. "Oh how I remember people like you in Joui war well. I remember those self-righteous speeches of peace and justice, but the reality was, it was just propaganda they were using to cover their asses. Besides…justice doesn't equal cruelty, nor does it give you the status of something more than human."

Momonga frowned, he had never heard of this Joui War. Had there been a conflict an island he wasn't aware of? Why wouldn't have the World Government have told him. "What's your point? What does that have to do with me being able to wield a sword or not?"

"Well first off, you couldn't tell that sword you spent so much money on was a piece of crap." Shinpachi spoke up from behind.

"It broke when Gin-chan wasn't even trying." Kagura continued.

"And anyone who treats their enemy's sword like this, isn't even worthy of practicing swordsmanship themselves. To a swordsman of any kind, their weapon is like an extension of themselves; each scuff and mark matches the scars on their bodies from previous battle. To treating it like casually is just blasphemy." Gintoki explained. "Respect yourself and your opponents, that's the first and most fundamental rule in swordsmanship, the Navy obviously didn't tell you that when they ranting about Absolute Justice or whatever."

Momonga just stared at the ground, refusing to see the permhead in the eye, indicating he understood the gravity of what he did. "…What happens to us now? Do you plan to kill me and my men?"

"My colleagues and I just crashed here, ask the Rolling-Eyes Pirates or whatever." Gintoki yawned.

"The Rolling Pirates." Lola sweat-dropped. "And we're going to kill them."

Gintoki looked at her. "I won't stop you, but are you sure?"

"Yes! These bastards had the gall to capture us and bring us here! This damned island where my crew and I were trapped for years by that Moria-bastard!" She exclaimed. "Who's with me? Who else wants these bastards dead?"

"AAAAAAAAAUGGGH!" Her men cheered, gathering their weapons from the pile.

The Odd-Jobs watched uneasily, they had no business stopping the enraged pirates, at the same time, they weren't for meaningless violence either. "Gin-san…what should we do?" Shinpachi asked hesitantly.

"…This isn't our business, and those men need to atone for insulting their enemy so badly. We wait until their done and negotiate a ride from these people." Gintoki answered. "Let's go, neither of you need to see this."

"Ah." Kagura nodded, while Shinpachi was wordless. Just as they were about to walk away, that's when they heard something. They turned around and saw something truly bizarre. There, right behind Momonga was standing, was a colossal vampire-creature thing. His head was long and huge, with white fangs, and was dressed like a corny Halloween version of Dracula.

"Kishishshi! Ah it's great to be back home! How are my favorite occupants doing?" The vampire thing smirked at the horrified pirates and marines.

"M-Moria! It's Gecko Moria!" One of the marines yelled.

"Yep!" He sniffed the air and breathed a sigh of relief. "Thriller Bark hasn't changed a bit, thank you for preserving it. Ah! New people!" He noticed the Odd-Jobs trio, which tensed and got ready to fight. "Welcome to my home, Thriller Bark, I am Gecko Moria, the proud owner of this ship."

"Ship? Isn't this an island?" Shinpachi asked, confused.

"No." Lola spoke up. "Thriller Bark is a wandering a graveyard that picks up abandoned or sunken ships, it's considered the world's largest ship actually."

"So basically it's the Grim Reaper of ships." Gintoki deduced. But then, along with Shinpachi, got considerably pale, realizing their situation. "A, w-wait a minute…a-are a-any of these ships…y-you know…haunted?"

"Well Gecko Moria's devil fruit has the power to crea zombies, so-"

"I don't need to hear that! I don't need to know where zombie babies come from!" Gintoki clutched his head.

"What? No, it's-" Lola was cut-off.

"I'd love to and eat your shadows, but…the marines and I have somewhere to be…so if you'll excuse us…" Moria waved a hand, and soon…black holes appeared under the marines, and one by one, each one of them fell through the holes. He turned to the trembling Vice Admiral. "Don't worry, for now, I'm back in the Shichibukai, apparently extenuating circumstances came up. I merely sent them back to Marineford, nothing more. Let's go Momonga."

"I better get answers." The Vice Admiral growled.

"Oh you will." He turned to the group. "Before I go, what are your names? You three?"

"I'll introduce ourselves because these two are to chicken." Kagura raised her hand. "I'm Yato Kagura, that's Shimura Shinpachi, and that's Sakata Gintoki, and together- we're the Yorozuya!"

"Yorozuya, huh?" Moria mused. "I'll remember that." He stole one final glance from the Rolling Pirates, before waving. "Bye-Bye." And like the others, he and Momonga vanished.

Gintoki stared at the place they had just been at, and after a few awkward moments, he finally spoke. "So…would anyone mind telling us how to find a real island? I-I really don't want to stay on this freaky ship-island thing anymore."

**10min Later**

After deciding just go and hitch a ride with the Rolling Pirates, the Odd-Jobs were seated comfortable in the Navy Ship that was left behind. Apparently, the Rolling Pirates had had their ship destroyed by those damned Navy-bastards. So the natural course of action was to take the ship those morons came on, they obviously weren't using it. So now, the Odd-Jobs trip was getting an up close and personal explanation of what just happened. They had landed on a giant island/ship called Thriller Bark, and were heading to an island called Water 7, where they could buy their own ship (or hijack it most likely). And now they're getting a geography lesson from the Rolling Pirates' captain.

"I see." Shinpachi nodded, being the intellectual of the group. "So basically the Grand Line's the world's Equator, while the Red Line is the Prime Meridian, interesting. So this world's truly made up of nothing but islands?"

"Eh. It was said that a long time ago, all the islands were collected into huge landmasses, but according to legend, a devastating war caused the islands to split off the land. And in that war, the ocean consumed the land, and hence, the Grand Line was born." Lola explained.

"Interesting. Do you know anything else about the war?" Shinpachi asked.

"No. While this legend it popular, I'm afraid no information is available on it." Lola informed sadly.

"I see. Thank you for the information, so what can you tell us about this island we're going to- Water 7, was it?" The boy asked. "And to clarify, we're on the Grand Line now, aren't we?"

"Sure. Every island is famous for something on the Grand Line for something, and yes you are traveling the Grand Line." She answered and turned to his companions. "Are they okay? They seem to be shocked about something."

"They're fine, they're just not used to being out shined by me." Shinpachi answered.

"Who's being out-shined by who, Megane?" They demanded at the same time.

"Anyways! Lady!" Gintoki pointed an accusatory finger at her. "Aren't you the least bit curious about how we're from another planet? Aren't you? And what was the giant goblin-vampire-thing? Is he coming back?"

"Gecko Moria?" Lola said. "I'm not sure…he was disbanded from the Shichibukai after the Marineford war two years ago, and he went into hiding. In fact, those men had captured us because he had been forced to work for Moria in the past, and up until the moment he reappeared a few minutes ago, he was in hiding from the World Government and the Navy. And well, there are many strange things in this world, so it's not completely impossible that extraterrestrial life exists."

"This planet's vulnerable for alien invasions, but we'll worry about that later. Lady, you're going to have to bring us up to speed here." Gintoki sighed. "Give us the short version."

"I see. Where should I start?" She asked.

"First of all, tell us about the dynamics of this world. Tell us about the Navy and World Government that you mentioned." Shinpachi requested.

"Well…those men were all a part of the Navy, they're the military power attached to the world Government. The World Government is basically this gigantic organization that runs the world, and ensures things are peaceful and orderly." Lola explained.

"Or at least that's what they want you to think." Said the Risky brothers.

"What do you mean?" Shinpachi asked.

"In reality, The World Government is actually a very corrupt organization that only uses the excuse of keeping the peace, to keep their power over the world. The motto they have the Navy follow is 'Absolute Justice'." She replied.

"Absolute Justice?" Gintoki snorted. "Sounds like a bunch of crap to me. So tell me, now that we've fought them, we're on their hit list, right?"

"Most likely. Partially why we're heading to Water 7 is not only because it's the closet island to us currently, but also because pirates are welcome there, but the Navy is treated with extreme prejudice." Lola explained. "Their town was actually saved from the World Government's most power fraction, Cipher Pole 9, by the-"

"Enough with the boring story! Let's go to this Water 7 place, uh-huh!" Kagura couldn't take it anymore! "Half of the audience already knows the background of this place, so let's go already!"

**Review Please! So there's really no Gintama references in this chapter, which makes things easier to read hopefully. As I said, Gintoki's skill is virtually unmatched in his universe so far, other than a few antagonists and his best friend, Katsura. If you have any comments, concerns, or questions, review or PM me!**


	6. If you know the Muffin Man

**Hey guys! So more One Piece finally starts getting added, and the plot actually starts solidifying at this point, so pay attention. So Sengoku talks to the antagonists of this story at the beginning, if you read or know Gintama you'll know instantly who he's talking to, if not, it'll be explained in later chapter. And trouble gets stirred in Water 7, with two old villians close behind. **

**And also, review please! More reviews than chapters posted please! Reward my hard work!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece, Gintama, or the song referenced in this chapter (Evanescence owns it)  
**

**So read, enjoy, review!  
**

Sengoku was going through various paperwork in his office, a serious matter weighing in on his mind. He stared at the two men before him in suspicion; what they were proposing was too good to be true. "Are you telling me this is true?" The fleet admiral asked hesitantly.

"Rest assured that my unit and I are at your disposal, Fleet Admiral Sengoku-sama." The first man who spoke was dressed in a formal, all white military uniform. He was tall, had a comb over, pale with grey hair, and wore a monocle. The thing that stuck out the most to Sengoku was the device the man was playing at. He was pushing tiny buttons, was rectangular-shaped, and had a small screen on it.

"Uh…what is that device in your hand?" Sengoku asked.

"Ah, I keep forgetting that this world is deprived of modern technology. This, in my hand, is a cell phone. It's a communication device that we use in place in what you would use Den Den Mushi in. It's a shame though, because I can't get a signal here, so I can't send any messages to my email-buddies." Sighed the white-clad man.

"Inconveniences met are awarded with major conveniences." The other man smirked. Sengoku frowned; the second one just made him unnerved. The other man was much more unkempt than his companion; he was pale with dark hair, wore a purple yukata, and smoked a Japanese pipe. He carried a sword casually at his hip, but was ready to draw when necessary. The most distinctive thing about him was the bandaged left eye, and how the warping wrapped around alongside his head. The man stood up and looked out the window. "It's an interesting world you live in Sengoku-san, but please remember…neither side will be satisfied, unless if mutual trust can be assured for both right now."

"Ah…" Sengoku nodded.

**Meanwhile- Water 7**

After getting a whole geography lesson from the Rolling Pirates' captain, the Odd-Jobs group soon found themselves stopped at the Shipwright island. Lola stepped off the ship with the Risky Brothers. "Do you need us to accompany you?"

"Actually, that'd be great." Shinpachi nodded. "We don't know anything about these islands, so any guidance will be great."

"In that case, follow me. Iceburg-san and Paulie-san would be happy to help!" Lola smiled and lead them forward.

"Iceburg-san?" Gintoki repeated, picking wax out of his ears.

"Ah. He's the mayor of Water 7, and he's one of the best shipwrights on this island; he'll be happy to help you after we tell him what happened." Lola reassured.

"And this Paulie-san?" Gintoki added.

"Ah. He's the Vice-President of the Galley-La Company, the most prominent Shipwright company in the world; he and Iceburg-san run the company together to support Water 7." Lola explained.

"I see. Are most islands supported by enterprises of some kind?" Shinpachi asked.

"Sort of." The first Risky brother answered. "Each island is different with its own economic situation, so it really depends on which island you go to."

"I see. That makes sense." The glasses-kid nodded.

"Whatever, as long as they've got a ship and guide to spare-" Gintoki was cut-off by a watched sound.

"OI! Don't throw up all over my stand! What are you doing?" The group turned to Kagura, to see her throwing up all over fresh produce at a fruits stand.

"I got sick on the ship…so…I don't feel so…BLIP!" She barfed once again all over the once-delicious fruit.

"You idiot! Throw up in the garbage! Not on my stand!" The stand-owner yelled.

"But your fruit is garbage, so there!" Kagura yelled.

"Why you-"

"Kagura-chan!" Gintoki pulled her away hastily and smiled at the shop-keeper. "I'm sorry bout her, we just came from a very rough sailing trip, and she's not used to traveling by ship."

"I don't care! Just pay me back for my produce!" The man yelled.

"Now kind sir, I'm sure-"

"OI! You there!" Gintoki vein-popped, pissed off at how people were cutting off his sentences.

"What is it you-" Gintoki's and Shinpachi's eyes bugged out of their heads at what they saw. He saw two very beautiful, but very odd-looking women. Both had square-shaped afros and pointy noses and were doing a weird pose at him, but it was the outfit that caught his eye. One had a yellow short-short with a yellow bikini top, while the other had a red camisole, but wore a bikini bottom. Despite his lower groin calling to him, Gintoki knew it was probably not a good idea to approach them with such intentions at the moment. "Uh…hi?"

"Lola-san?" The yellow one asked. "Who are these people? Are they friends of yours?"

"Ah! Mozu-san! Kiwi-san! Yes, they're friends of mine! Just let them pay for the fruit, and-" DASH! Lola and the Risky Brother sweat-dropped at the runaway Permhead, but that was when they noticed something- the glasses kid, sporting a massive nosebleed and seemed to be unconscious.

**With Gintoki**

'Sorry Shinpachi-kun! You'll be remembered!' Gintoki thought heartlessly, as he dashed through random alleyways and streets, with the teenage girl over his shoulder.

"Gin-chan…I feel sick again…" Kagura groaned.

"W-Wait! Don't puke yet!" He stopped in the middle of a bridge, and put Kagura down. She leaned over the railing, and started puking again. "Geez…this is what you get for eating so much! Since when do you get sea sick! You've been on roller coasters! Hell, even rode in out of control spaceships! How the hell do you get sick on a ship?"

"Shut up Gin-chan! You don't know what it's like to be me!" Kagura exclaimed.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything? You're just trying to get out of paying for the produce!" Gintoki exclaimed.

"I don't know! But I'm glad we live in an age where parents are required to care for their sick kids." Kagura replied.

"Sick my ass! Are you feeling better now or not?" Gintoki demanded. After receiving another groan in response, Gintoki ran a hand through his hair in agitation, when he noticed something- a stand that sold wooden swords. Due to the fact that he gave back the sword he had used to beat that Navy-bastard's ass, he needed another one. "Excuse me, kind miss…"

Meanwhile, Kagura was left to dwell in her misery. She had about aborted every single scrap she had scarfed down her throat while she had been here, making her realize just how rich the food she ate was. Feeling someone pull on her China-dress, she turned to a blonde girl about a head shorter than hair. She had to erect, blonde pig-tails, a wide smile, a blue bunny with her. "What?" She asked the girl.

"Hehehe! My name's Chimney! And I couldn't help but notice that you're sick!" She smiled.

"No shit, Sherlock." Kagura grumbled.

Not fazed by the rudeness, the blonde continued. "This is my pet rabbit, Gonbe. He thinks he's a cat! Hehehe!"

"Am I supposed to care kid?" Kagura twitched in annoyance.

"Yeah! My granny has some great sea-sick medicine, come on!" Deciding that she had nothing to lose, Kagura followed suit.

Meanwhile, by the time Gintoki finally managed to swindle the stand-owner out of a free wooden sword, he turned his attention back to Kagura. Although, the stand owner had bluntly stated that the sword was just to get Gintoki to leave. But that was when he noticed something, his small daughter-figure wasn't around. "Eh…Kagura-chan?"

**With Shinpachi**

Shinpachi groaned and woke up, finding himself in an unfamiliar living room, he also found himself tied up. He then found himself staring at an odd-looking group of people, who were all doing weird poses.

"Welcome intruder! Prepare for the Franky Family interrogation special!" The weird people said while posed. It was then, the two beautiful women appeared.

"Who are you and what do you want with Lola-chama?" They demanded together.

"Don't worry Shinpachi-kun, I'm working on an appeal for you!" Lola and the Risky Brothers cheered him on while having some rum.

Shinpachi sweat-dropped. "I'm in hell, aren't I?"

**With Gintoki**

"Kagura-chan? Kagura-chan?" Gintoki called and searched in several barrels to find the girl with the parasol and humongous strength. After several minutes of searching, Gintoki found himself in a relatively-normal neighborhood, and decided to take a breath. "Well so far this day could be better…Shinpachi's captured, Kagura's missing, and her sadist boyfriend's going to kill me if I return empty-handed." Just when he was about to pull out some of his hair, Gintoki heard something.

_" Don't turn away_

_(Don't give in to the pain)  
Don't try to hide  
(Though they're screaming your name)  
Don't close your eyes  
(God knows what lies behind them)  
Don't turn out the light  
(Never sleep never die)" _

Gintoki heard singing, and not just any singing- one of the most popular singing groups for AMVs! He started following to the sound, eventually leading to a window, leading him to peak through. Expecting to find a beautiful lady in the midst of bathing, he found something completely different.

_"Fallen angels at my feet  
Whispered voices at my ear  
Death before my eyes  
Lying next to me I fear  
She beckons me  
Shall I give in  
Upon my end shall I begin  
Forsaking all I've fallen for  
I rise to meet the end- _!"

"GAAAAAAAAAHHHH! My eyes! I saw something no man should ever see!" Gintoki covered his eyes and fell off the trashcan he was standing on. He was rolling around on the ground in pain.

"What do you have right to complain about pervert? Didn't anyone tell you to never interrupt a woman's bathing time while she's listening to the radio?" The radio! That made perfect sense! The radio was a snail, but still! It made more sense than this beast having that beautiful voice! The old woman had leaned out the window, hadn't bothered covering herself. The old woman was quite a sight indeed, she was old and was very rotundant, resembling a dugong. Gintoki couldn't take it anymore and tried to run off. "Oh no you don't!" Throwing a scrub-brush at him, it hit, and Gintoki was incapacitated.

**With Kagura**

While the boys were getting a taste of Water 7, Kagura was getting her taste of the Sea Train, and she didn't like it. "I thought you said we were going to your granny's?"

"We are! But I just remembered that it's Sunday, and I'm the Shift Conductor on this day! Sorry, but I have to operate the Sea Train before we see Granny Kokoro!" Chimney informed cheerfully.

"Make it stop…" Kagura could feel more coming up. "I'm gonna be sick again!" She ran to a bathroom without another word.

"Hehehehe…must've ate somethin' bad huh, Gonbe-chan?" Chimney grinned. The blue rabbit stifled a giggle and nodded. As they were laughing, they hadn't noticed one customer in particular, who had been watching the girl for awhile now. Putting down his newspaper, he straightened up his tie and suit and walked towards the pair.

"Excuse me." He patted the young girl's shoulder.

Chimney turned around and smiled. "Yes good sir?" She bowed slightly. "How may I assist you?"

"I am Inspector Corgi for the World Government, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to come with me." He frowned down at her.

"Huh? Why?" She tilted her head.

"Confidential, just come with me, please." The man replied shortly, trying to pull her along.

"Stop!" Chimney and Gonbe struggled for several minutes, but the interaction was abruptly stopped.

"You know…Sadist says it's illegal to kidnap people." Kagura frowned at the sight in front of her. "Let go of her; she's taking me to see her grandma for sea sickness."

Corgi frowned, sizing the girl up. She wore a red china dress with leggings underneath, carried a parasol, and had normal shoes; just a normal citizen. "This isn't your concern miss, just leave us."

"No. If she leaves, then I have to find another cure for sea sickness." Kagura grumbled.

His frown deepened, and reached into his pocket. Chimney and Gonbe's eyes widened when they saw a pistol had been drawn. "Under the authority of the World Government, I am placing this girl and her acquaintances under arrest. I'll ignore you if you choose to cooperate."

"World Government huh? That's the second time I've heard of you bastards." Kagura frowned. "Ne, Chim-chan; how long before we got off this thing?"

"We're arriving in Enies Lobby in 15min." The girl tremored with realization.

"Ah. As you can see there's no way to escape." Seeing the China girl's confusion, Corgi continued. "You see, Eneis Lobby is the headquarters of Cipher Pole, the intelligence network of the World Government. You will be surrounded by Sea Kings, marines, and the power of Absolute Justice; so please…sit down awhile…I'm sorry…what's your name?"

"Kagura, Queen of Kabukicho." Kagura smirked, cracking her knuckles.

**With Shinpachi**

After finally convincing the Franky Family that Shinpachi was in no way a threat, or responsible in any way shape or form for the destroyed produce, was the boy finally untied. He was currently having tea with everyone at the Franky house, along with Lola and the Risky Brothers. Lola was currently telling the group what had happened when the Odd-jobs trio dropped-in for to rescue them.

"They really arrested because they thought you knew where Gecko Moriah was?" Kiwi asked.

"Ah. After the Mareinford War two years ago, the World Government has gone nuts yah know. So it's not surprising that they'd suspect me and my crew since we were imprisoned by him for so long." Lola sighed.

"Ano…" Shinpachi interrupted. "If I may ask, who are the Shichibukai exactly?"

"Eh? You mean Lola-chama didn't tell you?" Mozu asked.

"Well, my friends and I were busy trying to explain where we came from and all, so it didn't really come up." The boy rubbed the back of head bashfully.

"I see…well for starters, Gecko Moria used to be one of the Shichibukai." Kiwi explained. "They're essentially middle-men that serve between the pirates and the marines. In exchange for their cooperation with the World Government, they get complete immunity from the law. In exchange for a muzzle, they get a very long leash."

"So essentially, all they have to do is sign a paper, and they can do whatever they want? That's not Justice, that's a conspiracy." Shinpachi sweat-dropped but then got serious again. "And the 'Marineford War', would you mind telling me about that?"

"Sure. Two years ago, the great Pirate King's son, Gol. D. Ace was captured." Lola spoke. "At the time, he was a part of the Whitebeard Pirates, the largest and strongest pirate crew in the world. Whitebeard himself is considered the world's strongest man, and he had the whole pirate world has his oyster. Everyone loved and respected him, especially his crew."

"Was this Whitebeard-san a kind person?" Shinpachi asked.

"Oh the kindest!" Lola advocated. "He loved his crew like family, and they like a father. So when Ace-san was captured, Whitebeard was enraged; he gathered all of his men and allies and charged Marineford. That island was supposedly a fortress at the world's center, but that war sunk the island; they were going to execute Ace on the crimes of piracy and being the descendant of Gol. D. Roger, and in order to rescue the man he called his son, he went to war with the Navy and World Government. And the biggest war the world had ever seen occurred."

'Just like when the Amanto started kidnapping humans.' Shinpachi frowned at the similarity. "So what you're saying is…they literally just wanted to execute Ace-san for public statement against the pirates; correct me if I'm wrong, but Ace-san was a good man."

"Eh." Lola nodded.

"I see…" The boy's frown saddened. "So…who won?"

"The war was fought into standstill; Red-Haired Shanks appeared and stopped the war; he essentially told both sides that both sides were fighting incessantly, and it needed to end. So there was no clear winner, and countless lives were lost on both the Navy and the Pirates." Kiwi explained.

"I see…I hope Whitebeard-san and Ace-san rest easy, knowing they're friends still remember them." Shinpachi sighed.

"Eh? What do you mean?" Mozu asked. "Whitebeard and Ace are alive."

"What? But you guys were talking in past-tense so I assumed he was dead! Don't tell me that was for dramatic effect!" He yelled.

BANG! BANG! Shinpachi's rant was interrupted, as the door was thrown open. His eyes narrowed when he noticed the Franky Family tense up, and get their weapons. Lola and the Risky Brothers also prepared themselves. He observed the men, all in expensive-looking business suits and had aimed their rifles at them all, but it was the man in front of them that just flat-out disgusted Shinpachi. He was an average-height fellow, with pale skin, pink hair, and strangely…half his face was covered in a metal mask. He also sported a metal-neck brace lined around his neck. He was smiling in glee and anticipation.

"What do you want now, Spandam?" The girls yelled.

"Oh the same thing we've all been asking for the past two years: where are they?" He asked.

"Who?" Shinpachi spoke up.

"Oh! A new face! Pardon! I didn't notice you!" Spandam smiled. "My name is Spandam, head of Cipher Pole 9; the top intelligence agency in the World Government. And we are looking for several people actually. Gecko Moria, Boa Hancock, and Crocodile; they all must be gathered at once!"

"I'm sorry, but we don't know who those people are." The boy reasoned.

"Oh, I bet you don't!" Spandam pointed his hilt in front of the boy's face. "But they do! Pirates are all scum that stick together; it makes it even sicker that they're acquainted with that damned Strawhat!"

'Strawhat?' Shinpachi thought.

"So step aside boy, and let us do our jobs." Spandam smiled arrogantly.

"And what do you plan to do here exactly?" Shinpachi asked.

"Oh that's easy!" The metal mask gleamed with smile. "We'll beat the hell out of you people until you tell us what we want!"

**With Gintoki**

Gintoki was having about as fun of a time as his companions were. Only they didn't have to get chewed out by a fat, old, half-naked woman in a sea-shell bikini top. He was bound and on the couch, forced to keep looking at the disturbing image in front of him.

"And further-more! It's rude to sneak up on a lady while she's bathing!" She finished. "I'll have the Franky Family take care of you!"

"Looking forward to it." Gintoki twitched in annoyance. "Could you please put a shirt on now?"

"Oh shush! Men your age don't appreciate true beauty anyways!" She exclaimed.

BANG! BANG! The door pounded, forcing Kokoro to dress herself out of instinct, much to Gintoki's relief. "Coming!" She called. "Yes?"

The Samurai tuned out most of the conversation, focusing on getting the ropes lose; he looked longingly at the Wooden Sword that lay against her kitchen table. "What are you doing?" Gintoki forced himself to sit up and look in on the action. He was face to face with a tan man, with long-brown hair, pointy beard, and purple-pin stripe suit. Gintoki stared at the guy, and stared. Until finally…

"BLACH!" He threw up all over the man's expensive suit. "Baa-san…I just saw one of the most horrific things I'll ever see in my short life. Please don't put any other thoughts into my head by introducing me to your pimp."

The room was silent, Kokoro and the man stood, frozen at Gintoki's comment. Finally, the man spoke. "Kokoro…who is this man?"

"A random peeper, I don't know him; you can have him." She replied bluntly.

"Don't talk about me like I'm nothing!" Gintoki shouted.

"Shut up! I don't know who you are or why you're here, but you're paying me a new suit." He pointed a pistol at Gintoki.

"Believe me, I did you a favor; the only thing that suit was doing for yah was making people wonder how much your girls cost." The permhead replied.

"Do you know who I am?" He demanded. After receiving a bored look from Gintoki, the man growled. "I am Spandine, chief of intelligence distribution between the different branches of World Government; I have the authority to take your life, that woman's life, and every other damn creature here."

"World Government?" Gintoki's eyes widened slightly when he remembered what Lola had said. "You bastards were mentioned a time a two."

"Hmph. If you know the gravity of the situation, then cough up the money and leave; I have serious business with this woman." He gestured.

"No one would take you seriously with all that barf on you." Kokoro replied.

"Shut up woman!" HE smirked. "That's right. You have to do everything I say now; you have to tell me where those dammed pirates are."

"Even if I did know where they are, what makes today different in the past two years?" She was phased.

"I got confirmation from agent Corgi that we have your granddaughter; she and a friend of hers are being apprehended as we speak-" He was cut-off.

"Oi, oi, oi…did this friend of her granddaughter happen to be barfing everywhere and wearing china dress?" Gintoki asked.

Spandine frowned; ignoring Kokoro's horrified expression. "Yes, what of it?"

SNAP! Gintoki snapped the ropes in half, freeing himself. He passed Kokoro, and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Relax Baa-san…" He walked into the kitchen. "Sounds like the kiddies have found their buddies…and looks like I found mine." He pointed the wooden sword at the stunned man.

**Review Please! So the plot finally thickens as I promised! Water7 is probably going to take me three chapters, and yes, Ace and Whitebeard are alive, it will be explained later on. Also, all Strawhat members DID go through the two-year timeskip, which means they all got their training. I'll either say who the villains are (the ones Sengoku was talking to) next chapter or one after. But all the antagonists, other than the Navy and World Government are from Gintama. I will also bring in several other people from Gintama who aren't villains (like Sougo coming back for example). **

**Also, the part with Kokoro's shower scene was just meant to be funny. I have no idea if Evanescence songs exist in One Piece or not, I just thought it'd be funny. A reference to be explained is Kagura's title: Queen of Kabukicho. In Gintama, Kagura beats out all the neighborhood bullies, hence giving her the self-proclaimed title of Queen of Kabukicho, this is most prominent when she spends the day, showing a real princess around Kabukicho. Thank you! Review or PM me like always!  
**


	7. The Muffin Man, The Muffin Man

**Yo! Here's the chapter for this week. Spandam and Spandine are going to be fairly important antagonists for this fic, so pay attention to them. Also, I'm requiring at least 4 reviews until my next update with this story, so review people! I'm sick of my work going unrewarded, so either start posting reviews or I'm stopping the story. Thank you!**

**Remember, 4 reviews=new chapter!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama  
**

Spandine stared at the man before him, stunned at his audacity to challenge him. Obviously this man was either a complete idiot, or pirate scum himself. "Sir, I don't believe that you know what it means to threaten me, so I'll let you off with this last warning. Standing up to me, means going against the World Government's orders, which in turn, makes you a pirate or some other lower life-form. To go against the World Government means that you've essentially turned yourself in for death. Are you really willing to against all that?"

Gintoki glared. "It's actually funny you say that…recently, an old bastard asked me the same thing, and know what I did to him?"

WHAM! Striking Spandine in the face, the force was enough to send the man out the front door. The man struggled to regain himself, he felt his face; his left cheek hurt like hell, and he could tell he was going to get a black eye. Spandine stood up, staring wildly at Gintoki; who did nothing more but stand in the doorway. "Why are you doing this? Do you even know that woman? Are you a pirate or something?"

"No, I'm not a pirate." The permhead stepped forward. "I just get pissed off when people try to hit harmless old ladies." Gintoki turned to the possee Spandine had brought with him. "Get out of here, otherwise be prepared to piss into a bedpan the rest of your lives."

With that, the group of gunmen and officials left in a hurry, leaving a twitching Spandine to face the angry samurai alone. "COWARDS!" He turned back to Gintoki; he pursed his lips indignity and turned around. "You'll PAY FOR THIS PERMHEAD!"

"OI! Why does everyone say I have a perm? It's natural I tell you!" Gintoki shouted after him. "Geez…" He turned back to Kokoro, who still seemed to be a bit dazed. "Oi Baa-san…you okay?"

"C-Chimney-chan…they have her." The woman whimpered.

"Relax. Kagura-chan's with her, they'll be fine, but it's probably a good idea to meet up with people now. Hey Baa-san…" He turned to Kokoro. "Do you happen to know two hot girls with point noses and square-shaped afros?"

**With Kagura**

POW! Corgi trembled at the sight before him; a whole fleet of intelligence agents lay crippled and unconscious; they had arrived at Enies Lobby only five minutes ago, but by that time, Kagura had already taken over the train. The girl's strength was phenomenal; she simply punched and kicked whoever got near her, and she hadn't broken a sweat.

Kagura stared boredly at the bodies. "So much for exercise; at this rate I'll get fat." She turned her attention back to the man who had brought her here. "Ready to give up yet, fathead?"

Growling, he pulled Chimney and Gonbe out from their hiding places and held his pistol to their heads. "I'd reconsider cooperating if I were you."

"Hmph." Kagura took her parasol and aimed the pointed end at him. "Same to you, fathead."

"Now what do you plan to do with a parasol?" Corgi laughed.

BANG! BANG! BANG! Kagura fired several round from her parasol. Corgi stared in shock, and felt his hat split in half, and slowly felt his hair form a mohwak. Very slowly, he removed himself from Chimney and Gonbe; they ran behind Kagura the second they could. "Perhaps…a negotiation would be possible?"

"Hn? Like what?" The girl asked.

" Well, as I said on the train…the World Government is searching for these individuals, the former Shichibukai, but have yet to find them. So...in exchange for your cooperation in particular, we'll overlook this incident and give full rights off this island. I don't know where this Kabukicho is, but how'd you like to be Queen of Water 7?" Corgi asked. EEP! EEP! The Den Den Mushi went off, interrupting their conversation. "Excuse me." He went to go answer it.

Kagura stared at him in boredom, and felt Chimney pull on her arm. "You're not gonna do it, right?"

"No. This place is a dump compared to Kabukicho." Kagura smirked. Chimney and Gonbe smiled back at the reassurance.

CLICK! Kagura turned her attention back to the man, frowning at his grin. "Good news! The Shichibukai have all been reunited at Marine HQ and there are no problems anymore."

"So why are you happy?" Kagura asked.

"Oh, that means I can do what I wanted to do from the beginning. Initiate a Buster Call." Corgi smirked, and reached into his coat, bringing out a Golden Den Den Mushi.

"Buster Call? What's that, a wrestling move?" Kagura asked.

"No you fool!" Yelled the man. "It's the Navy's most vicious and most organized attack, only meant to be used if an island is to be eliminated. That's what's going to happen to Water 7 if you don't hand yourselves and the Sea Train over to me!"

"What do you want with the Sea Train anyways?" Kagura asked.

"None of your concern! Now surrender!" Corgi yelled.

"Hehe…don't yah know…the story of the boy who cried wolf?" Kagura charged forward, and Corgi knew this was his end.

**With Shinpachi**

Shinpachi stared before him with annoyed look; when he thought he finally had a chance to shine, the people he was in charge of, defended themselves. The Franky Family made quick work of Spandam and his goons, and currently, the creep was under interrogation.

"…I suppose that's been resolved huh?" Shinpachi sighed. "Spandam-san…why did you attack us again?"

"Like I said, these people are being suspected of housing fugitives." He replied.

"But aren't the Shichibukai diplomats for the World Government?" The boy pointed out.

"The ones were looking for either didn't fulfill their duties, or betrayed the World Government during the war two years ago. We're working on a big project, and we need those scum to redeem themselves. Seems like a fair trade doesn't it? Cooperation for freedom?" Spandam reasoned.

"Sounds like a business deal with the Yakuza." The boy replied bluntly.

"In any case, we know you World Government bastards aren't wasting your time at Water 7 for the sights of a possible finding; what are you really after Spandam?" Mozu demanded.

"Grrr…! Like I'd tell you bastards anything! And keep in mind that if you harm me, nothing will stop the World Government's wrath!" Spandam proclaimed.

"If the threat's anything like this, then I don't think anyone here has anything to worry about." Shinpachi replied. "But Mozu-san makes a good point, you're the type that'd be too arrogant to go after fugitives so to save us all the trouble, how about you just tell us your true objective Spandam-san?"

"You snot-nosed little Megane! You think you can just-" PUNCH! Shinpachi's glasses gleamed brightly.

"It's one thing to be insulted in my own universe about my glasses. But it's another to be made fun of by another." The boy replied.

"You little snot! I-I can't believe you actually hit me!" Spandam exclaimed.

"Really? Allow us!" The Risky Brothers approached and gave a few punches and kicks themselves. "This is surprisingly satisfying."

"You'll be sorry…" Spandam growled. "Once the World Government gets hold of the Sea Train-" His eyes widened and cut himself off abruptly.

"So that's what you're after, damned bastards." Lola growled.

"Sea Train? I don't get it. Are you talking about that giant train we saw coming in?" Shinpachi asked.

"The Sea Train is main mode of transportation between the islands, and it's legacy will not be tarnished by the likes of him!" Kiwi yelled.

"Legacy?" Shinpachi repeated. "I mean no offense, but what's so important about one train?"

"It was the last tribute that Big Tom made before he was framed like a dog, by that man." Everyone turned to see two people standing at the doorway of the Franky Family's house. Kokoro and Gintoki stood at the doorway, bearing serious expressions. "So that's what you bastards are after. Spandam…tell me…how close is the Tequila Wolfe bridge to being done?"

"I-I have no idea what you're talking about! The Tequila Wolfe bridge is a classified project, to which knowledge of it should only befall onto privileged ears! How do you know about it, and I don't?" Spandam demanded.

"Enough crybaby; what's this Tequila Wolfe bridge thingie?" Gintoki groaned.

"It's a bridge that supposedly going to connect the world, that's about all I know about it though." Lola responded.

"Tell me where you got that information!" Spandam demanded.

"I see. So the idea was to innovate the sea train and have it track across the world on the bridge, right?" Shinpachi deduced.

"You don't know anything Megane!" Spandam yelled.

"Shut up, metal-face." Shinpachi and Gintoki said at the same time.

"It doesn't matter." Kokoro growled. "The sea train won't be abused, and Water 7 refuses to be pushed around again. Now…" She fisted Spandam's shirt. "Where is my granddaughter?"

"In our custody." Everyone whirled around to see a smugger version of the man they were holding. "Release my son, or your granddaughter will face the consequences."

Growling, Kokoro did as she was told. Spandam scrambled behind his dad. "That's better, we'll be leaving now."

"WHAT?" Everyone shouted.

"But father! What about what these brutes did to me! Aren't you going to make them pay?" The ma-child yelled.

"And what about my granddaughter? Where's she?" Kokoro demanded.

"Our position has already been compromised enough here Spandam, the Shichibukai have returned to Marineford willingly, and there's no reason for us to stay here. The 'Puffing Ice' as they call it now, will fall into our hands eventually." The Franky Family glared. "As for your granddaughter, apparently she's riding back into Water 7 with a friend."

"What?" She asked.

"That is all, good day." Spandine turned around and walked out of the Franky Family establishment. Spandam gave them a dirty look before following after.

"Wait-" Kiwi and Mozu called, but were stopped by Gintoki.

"Leave it. They're not worth it, and Kagura's bringing back your granddaughter." Gintoki sighed.

"And if you're wrong…?" Kokoro asked carefully.

"Then I'll rescue her myself." Gintoki replied.

"Okay…" The old woman resigned.

"I'll call Iceburg and Paulie." Kiwi hurried off.

Shinpachi looked at his mentor worried. "Gin-san…are you okay?"

"Nothing Shinpachi-kun…it's just…that was way too easy."

**Three hours Later**

Kagura sighed in relief as Chimney pulled the train up to Water 7 for their stop; she threw up about every fluid in her body it felt like, and she still felt nauseous.

"You okay Kagura-san?" Chimney asked carefully.

"Terrific." Kagura groaned. "Let's just find Gin-chan and Shin-chan so I can get that medicine."

"Okay. Just let me set up the train." The blonde ran off to do her duties, leaving Kagura to herself. As Kagura was waiting, she noted to adult men running towards the train. One had purple hair, smoking a cigar, and looked very kept. The other had blonde hair, but had a slightly more unruly appearance.

"Chimney-chan!" The purple one yelled.

"Are you all right?" The blonde yelled.

Kagura stood up straighter when the men approached her. "What do you two want?"

"Where's Chimney-chan and Gonbe-chan?" Purple yelled.

"None of your business, what do you want with her?" Kagura asked.

"You!" Blondie got out some rope. "Tell us you little bitch!"

Kagura looked at the rope, and suddenly put on an evil grin. "I didn't know you were into S&M like Sadist, but I'm with him, so I can't do that kind of thing with other guys, uh-huh."

"YOU!" He whipped the rope at her, but Kagura jumped down and landed her shoe in his face. A second later, she nailed the purple one on the side of the head. She leapt off the guy's face, and landed several feet from them. "Want some more?"

"Why you…" Both men growled, and were about to attack, until…

"KAGURA-CHAN!" The small blonde conductor yelled down at her new friend. "Don't attack them! They're my friends! Paulie! Iceburg! She's friendly!"

"HUH?" Kagura and the two men replied.

"Kagura-chan!" Kagura turned around to see her two companions running up to her with a big group of people; several were the pirates they rode in on, one was a woman who resembled duogong, and the others had a weird logo stamped on their clothes.

Twitching in annoyance, the girl sighed. "I'm never getting that sea sick medicine, uh-huh."

**Two Days Later**

After making sure the island was World Government free, as well getting decent meals and bathing, plus a change of clothes, Odd-Jobs was ready to sail out. Kagura was now wearing her longer red China-dress with high-slits, plus combat-boots; and her hair was back to its normal telephone-bun style. Her hair clips had fallen out at some point, and she had gotten Kiwi and Mozu to fix them. Shinpachi was in his normal blue and white hakama, while Gintoki was in his normal black and red shirt and pants, with the styled-sky kimono draped over it slightly. And of course, a wooden sword at his side.

"You sure you'll be okay?" Shinpachi asked.

"We'll be fine." Kiwi reassured.

"Now that we know what those bastards want, we know how t fight them." Mozu finished.

"Besides…" Lola spoke up, the Risky brothers at her side. "With me and my crew here, the world Government will have a much harder time seizing any parts of the island. I'm just sorry that we won't be able to go with you."

"No it's okay." Gintoki smiled. "There are some things that can't be helped. Welp, let's get going kiddies. Kagura, move it."

"Yeah, yeah…" Kagura grumbled. She gave Chimney and Gonbe a small hug. "Thanks for the Sunboku and seasick medicine. Be careful of old men, uh-huh."

"Thanks Kagura-chan! Be careful out at sea! The Grand Line's a pretty dangerous place for only three people." Chimney replied.

"We can take care of ourselves." Kagura waved it off.

"So, where you guys headed?" Chimney asked. "Too bad Paulie and Iceburg couldn't be here."

"Wherever the wind takes us." Gintoki gave a dramatic sigh. "Let's set sail!"

"Right!" And with that the casted off, ready for whatever challenges the Grand Line threw at them.

But several minutes later… "Are those guys still here?" Iceburg huffed along with Paulie.

"No, they set out five minutes ago, why?" Kokoro asked.

"DAMN IT!" Iceburg stomped the ground.

"What's wrong?" Lola asked.

"THEY JUST STOLE MY LATEST SHIP!" Paulie exclaimed.

**With Odd-Jobs**

Due to it being the latest in Galley-La work, this ships was both fast, efficient, and had a automatic navigation system; so while everyone at Water 7 was wondering how they had been swindled, Gintoki and Shinpachi were basking on the main deck in glory. While Kagura (whose skin was too sensitive for the sun), stayed in the kitchen. They just typed 'Nearest Island' on the navigation pad, so they were just letting nature take it's course on where they were going. Where they end up, they didn't care.

Too bad they didn't read: LONG-RING-LONG-LAND

**Review Please! There's nothing really to reference here in this chapter luckily, but I am begging you to at least read the wikipedia articles for Gintama for the sake of future chapters! And you all can guess which island they're heading for next! Review or PM me if any questions or concerns.**


	8. Buy a small, you'll get a large

**Hey guys! Thank you for paying your taxes! As you guys can tell, I'm being serious about the number of reviews I require so please review after each chapter if you can! Or at least keep the number up high enough to where there's more reviews than chapters out. So anyways, they end up in the Davy-Back games, a few more villains are introduced, and a few more Gintama-protagonist show up. Thank you! Read, enjoy, review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama or One Piece  
**

A handsome-looking man with a black Chinese outfit, long-red pony-tail, carrying a parasol, and pale skin, stared down at the planet with a pleasant-looking smile. He had an older-looking man beside him, who was missing an arm, and had a bored expression on. "Are you sure this is a worth endeavor, captain?"

"I know this planet doesn't look much, Abuto, but…" His pleasant smile turned into a manic grin. "My blood's tingling, Abuto…it never lies."

**With Odd-Jobs**

After drifting for several days, the Odd-Jobs group was getting both bored and hungry. While they had stolen a ship stocked with food by the grateful townspeople, the men had forgotten one thing- Kagura's gargantuan appetite. It only took for three days for their food supply to become barren, save for a few sunboku packs. That was a whole three-month supply of food, down to nothing. They were all in the lounging area, wondering when they'd arrive on whatever island the ship locked in on.

"Shinpachi…look outside…what do you see?" He asked.

"Nothing but the blue ocean Gin-san." The boy groaned.

"Ugh…when's the next island already? Isn't this stupid piece of crap supposed to be the fastest from that shipping company?" Gintoki demanded.

"Calm down Gin-san…it'll be fine." Shinpachi groaned. "Some time, a miracle will come. Hopefully…by some miracle, we'll see a mermaid before we die."

"Shinpachi…don't fill my head up with fantasies before I die; everyone knows that a mermaid's kiss is a sailor's deathtrap." Gintoki groaned.

"Just trying to help…" The boy replied.

Several minutes later, Kagura ran into the lounging area from her room. "Hey guys! There are a couple of stalkers outside on a dingy! They want to talk to us!"

"Really?" Gintoki scratched his head, getting up. He and Shinpachi followed the girl, and she pointed overboard. "Oi, we don't have any food, just-" Gintoki cut himself when he saw the woman in the dingy. She was a beautiful, slim, woman with black hair, pale skin, red lips, black eyes, and had a sexy cowgirl outfit on. He ignored the sniveling clown completely. "I mean, please come aboard!" After some shuffling, they finally got the dingy out of the ocean and got the two people onto the ship, they began talking.

"Thank you for taking us off the ship. I am Alvida the Beautiful, this is my associate-"

"Buggy the Clown!" He yelled. "Now surrender your ship and-" BOING! The woman hit him on the head.

Don't mind him, he has ocean exposure." The woman explained. "Now then, we've found something rather magnificent, but we don't have the manpower to handle it ourselves. Would you two strapping young gentlemen like to help us?"

"Do you have food?" Kagura spoke up. She knew the two drooling morons were going to drag them into something, so she wasn't going without compensation.

"Eh. There will be plenty of food; rest assured you will be well-compensated." She explained.

"That's what I like to hear!" Kagura nodded.

"Good, now that we all understand each other, let's get going shall we? What were your names again?" Alvida asked.

"Yato Kagura." The girl replied.

"Shimura Shinpachi." Megane drooled.

"Sakata Gintoki." The perm-head said dreamily.

**Back at Marineford**

"What? A group of vigilantes?" Sengoku frowned into the Den Den Mushi at information that it just told him. "Are you sure it wasn't a group of pirates?"

"No Fleet Admiral." Momonga's voice spoke through the snail. "It was a group of vigilantes calling themselves "Odd Jobs", they were monsters. They didn't look much but their strength was incredible! There's a little girl with them that has the strength of a monster! And one kid with glasses that's as nimble as a cat, and their leader- he beat all my men and destroyed my blade, with a wooden sword. A wooden sword sir!"

"Wooden sword, eh?" Fleet Admiral Sengoku frowned. "Did Moria catch a glimpse of these people?"

"Yes sir! He mocked them as he made off with us!" Momonga answered.

"I see. Head to North Blue next, it's risky but…if there's anything that'll bring out Fire Fist and Strawhat, it'll be attacking their home islands." Sengoku reasoned. "Update me as you go."

"Sir!" And the line disconnected. Sengoku wore a deep frown, he looked at his two admirals looking at him in mild interest.

"We have a meeting with the Shichibukai to get to, let's go." He sighed at his subordinates.

"I can go vigilante hunting if you wish." Kizaru offered.

"You just want to get out of the meeting." Akainu growled

"It doesn't matter." Sengoku interjected. "We'll leanr more from Gecko Moria at the meeting, let's go."

"Fine." The red admiral huffed. "Where are our new 'allies' anyways? Aren't they supposed to be here?"

"No; they said their last friend would be arriving shortly and would be in time for the meeting." The Fleet Admiral replied.

"Well…he's got six hours, let's see if he makes it…" Kizaru shrugged.

**Back with Odd-Jobs**

Now the trio were actually fairly surprised to be informed that if they had just waited for six hours, they would've ended up at the next island anyways. Alvida and Buggy lead them to a couple of giant ships that had a foxy head at the bow, and a fox incorporated into their jolly roger flag. A bunch of people of all different shapes and sizes wearing fox masks, were on the beach eating a massive barbeque. The ship docked the shore.

"Okay, here we have-" Alvida was cut-off by the trio zipping past her. She and Buggy stared as the trio barged into the barbeque, shoving people out of the way to be the next in line. In fact, they were taking the meat off the grill and scarfing it down!

"No introduction are necessary then." Alvida sweat-dropped as she and Buggy hopped down from the ship.

"Do these people have any sense of courtesy?" Buggy asked.

"Apparently not." Alvida turned to her left to see an oddly-shaped, portly man approach her wearing a fox max. "Here he comes."

"YOU TWO!" He pointed at them.

"Ah. Foxy-san, as promised we came back with replacements." Alvida quickly explained.

"Replacements?" He exclaimed. "They're eating my crew out of ship! They're obnoxious, rude-"

"Exactly the kinds of characteristics you look for in a pirate crew!" Buggy interrupted quickly.

"Hmmm…true…" Foxy said rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "What do they call themselves?"

"The Odd-Jobs Pirates." Alvida smirked

Meanwhile, after Gintoki and his friends finally sat down to enjoy some of the delicious lobster, clams, and other various sea food, they hadn't notice the evil look that the beautiful woman was throwing them.

"Even though those two are going to double-cross us, it was sure nice of them to treat us to lunch, uh-huh." Kagura said in mouthfuls.

"Don't be silly Kagura-chan! A woman that beautiful and angelic couldn't have an evil bone in their body!" Gintoki scolded with a lobster hanging out of his mouth.

"Yeah Kagura-chan!" Shinpachi said slurping clams. "You need to be more faithful in people!"

Kagura sweat-dropped and turned around to their ship to confirm her suspicion. "Hey Gin-chan, Megane, look."

They looked to where she pointed, and both had their mouths dropped open, dropping the food out of their mouths. There was Buggy and Alvida, sailing off on the ship they had stolen, even waving to them with handkerchiefs. "THOSE BASTARDS! HOW COULD THEY?"

"Told you they couldn't be trusted, uh-huh." Kagura shurrged, and continued eating.

"How can you be so calm about this? You do realize we're stuck on this island right?" Shinpachi pointed out.

"Don't worry; we'll steal a ship like we have in the last few chapters because the author's too lazy to come up with another escape route." Kagura shrugged.

"Unfortunately, that won't be an option for you this time." The trio turned to an annoying voice, the man with the ugly nose removed his mask. "I am Captain Foxy of the Foxy Pirates, and I am happy to welcome you into our crew Odd-Jobs Pirates."

"…What?" Gintoki just stared at him. "I think there's been some misunderstanding. We aren't pirates, and we aren't joining your crew. We were just going to eat and run."

"Gin-san; telling them our horrible intentions isn't helping our case." Shinpachi sighed.

"Shut up Megane! You're not a lawyer so how would you know?" The perm-head hissed.

"I just figure that pissing off the people with the only transportation out of here was a bad call." Shinpachi replied logically; he turned to Foxy. "But in all seriousness Foxy-san, there's been some kind of misunderstanding because we're not pirates. We're just a group of people that go around doing odd-jobs for people. Hence our name."

"Well regardless! You people were brought here as replacements for Alvida-chan and Buggy-san for my crew, and you need to compensate us for eating our food!" Foxy proclaimed.

"Replacements? Were they apart of your crew or something?" Kagura asked.

"Yes! They lost in the Foxy Games, and had to join my crew as the rule per condition!" He proclaimed. "They told me that it'd be impossible for them to stay with me as of now, so I allowed them to get replacements. Seems as I got bonus though; three for two."

"Foxy Games eh…?" Gintoki put on a thoughtful expression. "Tell me Foxy-san, if we were to participate in these Foxy-Games and win, would we be free of responsibility as well as snagging a ship from you?"

"Hah! If you three win, I'll not only do that, but give a month's supply of food!" He declared.

"Then it's settled." Gintoki smirked. "Let the Foxy Games begin."

**Marineford**

Sengoku, the Shichibukai (former and current), Kizaru, Akaniu, Tsuru, Spandine, Spandam, and several other Navy Officials and World government Officials stared at their new 'Allies'. The guy with the monocle spoke before the eye-bandage man. A blue-haired woman stood at his side; she had pale skin, red eyes, and wore the same white uniform as him.

After flipping his mysterious device shut (his cellphone), he spoke. "First of all I'd like to thank you all for coming; I understand this a very turbulous time at the present, and will not take up any more of your time than usual. Secondly, I'd like you to withhold your questions, comments, or concerns after we are finished with our introductions." They stared silently at him. "Good. Now, I am Sasaki Isaburo, captain of the Mimiwarigumi; the elite fighting force of justice of my home world. This is my right hand, Imai Nobume." He signaled to the girl. "We look forward to working with the Navy and World Government to bring more order and peace to not only this world, but my world as well. Now, as Sengoku-san has informed all of you, space-travel is both common and accessible in my universe, which is how I am able to talk with you today. The device I just held in my hand was called a cellphone; we use variations of these devices for communication, the same way you people use Den Den Mushi. While we enjoy our work in our own universe, only recently have we discovered the chaos and trash that exist throughout different universes. And given that the great Marineford war had only passed two years ago; and Whitebeard's crew has been in hiding, and Strawhat remains elusive; this would be a great opportunity to not only show our skill, but prove our allegiance to you."

"And what makes you think you have the manpower to do this?" Crocodile smoked his cigar. "Both the Navy and the Pirates have been trying to recover drastically from the war, so it's going to take more than a few hundred men in white suits."

"Oh don't worry, there will be more than able bodies." The man in the loose purple kimono stood up. "I am Takasugi Shinsuke, leader of the Kihetai; organization for change and evolution; we not only have the man power, but we have the technology to do so as well. However, if you lot are too intimidated by the idea of joining up with our faction, we can always take our business elsewhere."

"These weapons." Tsuru interrupted. "How powerful are we talking?"

"Enough to blow a plent up easily." Takasugi's smirk didn't waver. "My men are more than capable of handling measly pirates, however…the target I request to destroy is the Revolutionary Dragon."

"Why Dragon?" Sengoku asked.

"Not only would I prove my loyalty, but also…he reminds me of a comrade who betrayed me." He smiled eerily, smoking his pipe. "Therefore, extinguishing him would be a particular pleasure."

"Fine." Kizaru shrugged. "If they want to bring in Dragon's head for a loyalty-test, I've got no beef."

"So it's agreed then?" Sengoku asked, and received no objection. "Fine, moving on then…you said you had a third party joining us, where is he?"

"Do not worry, he's getting his exercise before he comes in." Isaburo replied calmly.

BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!

The roof collapsed, and two bodes landed square in the middle of the table amongst the rubble. When the smoke cleared; the armed group of people saw two men. One was a taller man with dirty blonde hair, pale skin, had a male Chinese outfit, missing an arm, carried a parasol, and wore a bored expression. The other was several years younger easily, he was shorter, paler, had salmon-pink hair in a braid, carried a parasol, and also wore a male Chinese outfit.

"Ah. Here they are now. Did you tow have a good workout before you got here?" Isaburo asked them.

"Oh yes." The younger lifted one of his arm to reveal blood all over it. He licked it greedily. His same, pleasant smile never faded. "The fish here are much stronger than other planets."

"Bastards! Who are you?" Akainu had his magma ready.

"Relax." Takasugi smirked. "These men are important assets after all."

"Same to you, Samurai-san." That was the first time everyone in the room noticed the sword at Takasugi's hip. "So this is the backwater planet you were talking about. It's got interesting features here."

"Indeed. Do not worry, you will find plenty of entertainment here." Isaburo spoke.

"I should hope so." The young man looked straight at Nobume, his smile widened. "I should truly hope so."

"Would you two just introduce yourselves already?" Sengoku demanded.

"Ah, you're right! I apologize!" His eyes opened, revealing two bright blue eyes. "This is Yato Abuto, my distant uncle and co-captain of my fleet. And I am Yato Kamui, the Captain of the Harusame Space Pirates."

**Back with Odd-Jobs**

Shinpachi twitched in annoyance at the situation they were in. Once again, his boss had gotten him and Kagura into a ridiculous situation. In exchange for a ship and their freedom, Gintoki had taken up the Davy Back challenge, and now they were waiting for Foxy to explain the rules of the game to them.

"Relax Shinpachi-kun, we'll just leave this to Kagura and we'll be out of here in no time." Gintoki reassured. He sported a zero on his jersey.

Shinpachi had the number 80, while Kagura had number 6. "Gin-san…what if he wins?"

"Then we'll just escape." Gintoki shrugged.

"You do realize this crew is 700-strong; escape for us would be virtually impossible." Shinpachi replied. The two cutoff their conversation when Kagura approached them, dressed in her uniform, a jersey over her china dress.

"So you turkeys think of anything?" She asked bluntly.

"For your information Dr. Snide, we have; we'll leave everything to you. Let us know how it all turns out." Gintoki and Shinpachi were stopped in their escape by Kagura's grip. POW!

"Fat chance! You morons are sticking this out too!" She declared.

"SO! SO! ARE YOU READY YET ODD-JOBS?" The trio looked up to see an odd-looking man flying on a giant bird.

"Don't mind him." The group looked back to Foxy and his group of subordinates that had the same masks; one of them happened to be a beautiful blue-haired woman. Kagura sweat-dropped at Shinpachi and Gintoki's reactions; looks like she had to handle the woman. That other people in the group were several giants, a green guy who looked like he was crossed with a fish, and a shark that landed in a near by tide-pool. "The two above us are Itomimizu and Chuchun; he's my announcer, and that little bird helps him monitor the whole game. Now, do you remember the basic rules?"

"Yeah." They really didn't, but the Odd-jobs trio didn't think they could take another 15min explanation of a bunch of confusing rules that a lawyer couldn't understand.

"That's good, because there are going to be several changes!" Foxy declared. "Since there are only three of you, there will be two group events and a final match between me and Sakata-san!"

"Er…that's fine…so what's the catch?" Gintoki asked hesitantly.

"The original rules still apply to us!" The blue-haired woman said. "So that means-"

"They can switch out players and we can't." Shinpachi groaned.

"Exactly! So now that we understand each other, let's get started on the first race- the Doughnut Race!" Foxy declared; he pointed towards the shore. The beach had several barrels, planks, a flag, and rope. "Each team must construct a boat using these materials and sail through the obstacle course, and whoever crosses the finish line wins. Both teams are allowed to use weapons and can do anything to win, this includes cheating and trying to kill the opposing team members. Any questions?"

"Is punching them into space aloud?" Kagura raised her hand, while Shinpachi and Gintoki adorned shocked and horrified faces.

"Yes! Of course!" Foxy nodded. "Now then, here is your opposing team for this challenge: Porche, Capote, and Monda!"

"OI! You can't be serious! Those three are obviously meant for water, while were god-forsaken land-lubbers!" Gintoki exclaims.

"Haha! That's not our problem!" Porche laughed.

"Just you wait!" Gintoki yelled. "I'll do whatever I have to!"

"Ano…" Shinpachi raised his hand. "Foxy-san, by do anything to win, you mean cheating, right?"

"That's right! Any form of cheating is allowed as long as it doesn't stop the game all together!" Foxy answered. "And remember, the losers must go over to the opposing crew and swear their allegiance!"

"As I said- and did you say we get one of you if we win the match?" Gintoki stopped himself. "Any one of you?"

"That's right!" Foxy nodded.

"We're good! Let's go!" Gintoki sped towards the beach and started constructing the boat. In several seconds, it was complete. "Hurry up slow pokes!"

"Gin-san…you do realize that you could've started by now." Everyone sweat-dropped at the sight.

Several minutes later, the race was on and Foxy's team was ahead by fifty feet or so, which irritated the hell out of Gintoki. "What's wrong with you guys, don't you want to win?"

"Gin-san, if we go with Foxy-san we'd get free food and transportation." Megane pointed out.

"Yeah. Let's just ditch him at the next opportunity." Kagura agreed.

"You fools! This is an opportunity to gain another member to our crew! A beautiful woman at that! Imagine my fantasy Shinpachi!" The oldest described.

"Judging by what we've seen so far, there will be plenty more beautiful women Gin-san." Shinpachi shrugged.

"Grrr…fine! I'll do this on my own! Kagura! Get off, you're weighing us down!" He ordered.

BANG! She whacked him over the head with his umbrella. "Don't talk casually about a lady's weight, uh-huh."

"Don't hit me while were in the middle of the race!" Gintoki yelled.

Meanwhile, flying above both teams was Itomimizu on his faithful bird. "IT SEEMS THAT ODD-JOBS ARE TOO BUSY ARGUING AMONGST THEMSELVES TO NOTICE THE RACE, GIVING PORCHE AND THE GUYS A SOLID LEAD! BUT INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH, BOTH TEAMS PASS THE OBSTACLES WITH EASE- IT'S LIKE AN OUTLINE!"

As Gintoki struggled at grabbing each others faces, with Shinpachi left to paddle, they didn't notice an obnoxious man staring at them through a telescope. Foxy aimed his finger carefully at the opposing boat. "Better safe than sorry. NORO NORO BEAM!" He shot a beam from his fingers, but at that exact moment, the China girl had opened her parasol and to his shock- deflected the beam. They hadn't slowed down at all, in fact their speed increased. "What?"

On the other hand, Odd-Jobs didn't even notice Foxy, or the pet shark they just knocked out. They were too busy arguing with each other to care. "Screw this!" Kagura suddenly yelled. "I'm out of here!" Going to the bow of the boat, she leapt forward.

"WHAT'S THIS? KAGURA-CHAN ABANDONED HER CREW TO JOIN THE FOXY TEAM-"

BOING!

A sudden fist, made Itomimizu go down; a second later, Kagura took control of the giant bird. It took a moment for everyone to realize what had happened- she had leapt from her team's boat, to the other team's boat, and had used the other teammates' heads as leverage to jump up high enough to knock out the announcer and steal a ride on his pet. "OI BIRD! Take me to the finish line!" She grabbed Chuchun's feathers and steered it towards the race.

Thinking quickly, Shinpachi grabbed some rope and looped it. "Kagura-chan!" Throwing the rope to the girl, she put it around the bird's neck. And in just a few seconds, they had passed the finish line.

The Foxy crew stared in shock; no one had won that round like that before. Forcing the bird into a landing, as well as pulling the boat up from the sea. Gintoki stepped forward. "We won, so hand over the hot lady."

"…Go on Porche-chan." Foxy sobbed. "We'll get you back, don't worry!"

"I believe in you Foxy!" She smiled, and reluctantly went over to the Odd-Jobs side.

Clapping his hands together, Gintoki grinned. "So! What's next!"

After thinking it over, Foxy grinned. 'Okay…they got lucky the first time; there's only three of them, and none of them of devil fruits it appears.' "The Groggy Ring is next!"

"What? Do we see who takes the longest naps? Gin-chan beats everyone there." The girl replied.

"NO! Nothing like that! It's one of the most physically active events!" Straightening himself out, Foxy continued. "For this game, one player is the "ball" on each team, and it is the goal of the opposing team to knock the player that is the "ball" into the opposing team's goal." Foxy pointed to a field, and indicated the large, basketball hoops on both sides. "No weapons though! But if the referee doesn't see it, it's allowed!"

"What kind of rules are these?" Shinpachi groaned. He suddenly felt the ball getting strapped to his head. "Oi! I never agreed to be the ballman! What's with this? Why can't I at least have some dignity before I die?"

"Urusai! You're being promoted from a Megane to a Ballman, your existence actually some meaning now." Kagura said heartlessly.

"That;s it, you've admitted it. I'm always going to be an object to you two won't I?" He said bluntly.

"Don't take it personally, Ballman, you're like an umbrella- lifesaving some days and always there when you need it." Gintoki replied.

"So basically I'm something to kept out of sight unless if I'm needed." The younger boy replied.

"Yoshi! All right Foxy-kun! Whatever you got, bring it on! We're prepared for the absolute worst!" Gintoki grinned.

Grinning, the pirate replied. "Okay…meet Hamburg, Pickles, and Big Pan; they'll be your opponents for the Groggy match." Gintoki, Shinpachi, and Kagura stared for several moments until finally.

"So…any chance we can give this match to one person?" Gintoki laughed nervously.

"No."

"Ah. I see. Shinpachi say your prayers, because Kagura's going to be in charge of our funerals." The perm-head's day was taking a sour turn.

**Elsewhere**

Buggy was cursing his luck; not only did Alvida ditch him, but she stuffed him into a barrel, and he got caught in a whirlpool, and now he was on Sabaody. He was so busy cursing that he bumped into a young lad. "Watch it, you little punk! Be grateful that Buggy feels awfully generous today-" SWIPE! A quick sweep, and Buggy found himself in pieces. Startled, he looked up at the man who struck him. He was a tall boy, who looked around nineteen, had light dirty-blonde hair, wine-red eyes, pale skin, and had an annoying dead-pan expression. He wore a black military suit of some sort, and carried a sword on his hip. "WHY YOU? HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME? I AM THE GREAT BUGGY THE-"

"Ara? I cut you to pieces, yet you're still alive? This planet really is strange." The guy scratched his head.

"Eh?" Buggy blinked.

"Oi, Sougo." Another man in the same uniform approached them; he had pale skin like the younger but had black hair and deep blue eyes. He was also smoking a cigarette. "Stop lagging behind, we'll be late for the meeting."

"But Hijikata-san, this guy didn't die when I chopped him up? Do you know what this means? I can chop him up as many times as I want. Isn't that great?" The boy's voice was just as dead-pan as his face, but it was creepy how anyone could just sense the excitement in his voice.

"Later. We've got business." Hijikata replied. "Oi, Clown-guy, where's the best island to get mayonnaise?"

"Mayonnaise? Why would you search the Grand Line for Mayonnaise?" Buggy demanded.

"Oi…are you insulting mayonnaise?" Hijikata quietly demanded.

"Iya…" Buggy trembled.

"Forget that, mayo-bastard. Oi, how are you still alive despite being chopped up?" Sougo asked.

"I ate the Chop-Chop fruit! I can spread myself in pieces if I want!" He exclaimed. "Honestly! You remind me of some girl in China dress I met recently!"

At this the boy's eyes widened. "What was that?" He grabbed Buggy's head. "Girl in a China dress? Was she enormously strong and had a huge appetite?" Buggy nodded. "Was she with a Permhead and Megane?" He asked.

"Yeah. You know her?" Buggy asked.

At this point, the darker one gave an irritated sigh. "Let's go lover boy, you can find your girlfriend later. The odds she's on the same planet as us, is slim to none." 'That would also mean perm-head's here.' He mentally added. 'No, I refuse to acknowledge that possibility.'

"Now, now Toshi." Another man approached them, and he looked several years older. Unlike the other two he wasn't a handsome devil or a bishonen, but he was kind and looked strong. He was tallest and most well-built, but he strangely resembled a gorilla. He also wore the same uniform as them, and also carried a sword. "When a man is in love, he shouldn't be asked to stay away from his wife. It pains me to be away form Otae right now, so I understand how Sougo feels."

"Kond-san please don't bring your stalker-ways into this conversation. Besides…this is a foreign planet and we've got business here. I don't like it." Hijikata took a drag. "But…having the bishounen demon Okita Sougo not scaring the shit out of our clients would be helpful. So go on, frolic."

"Keep your cellphone on yah, Sougo!" Kondo smiled.

"Fine, fine." Sougo gave a smile. "Look out China, here I come."

**Review Please! So a few notes; Kamui and Abuto are last of the antagonists from Gintama that will show up. In Gintama, Kamui is the leader of the Harusame Space Pirates, as well as Kagura's older brother. Kamui left Kagura and her mother when she was three (or older, the anime didn't specify Kagura's age), to become stronger and fight stronger opponents. Kamui is a traditional Yato; blood-thirsty, battle-hungry, and very sadistic. He wants to kill Kagura when she's strong enough to fight him. Abuto's his right hand.**

**Takasugi Shinsuke, was a war-buddy of Gintoki, but they had a difference of opinion after the war was over. Takasugi washes to destroy the world, while Gintoki wishes to preserve it. The Mimiwarigumi was explained several chapters ago, and again, Kamui and Nobume will be getting together.  
**

**Lastly, the Shinsengumi has finally arrived. Kondo is the leader of the Shinsengumi and resembles a Gorilla, so people call him Gorilla. He's a great guy, but a bit naive. Hijikata is introduced, obsessed with Suppoku (killing oneself for the sake of honor), mayonnaise, and smoking cigarettes, he is the Vice-Captain of the Shinsengumi. And Okita Sougo (who went off on his own to find Kagura), the third in command of the Shinsengumi, best swordsman in the Shinsengumi, and master Sadist. Thank you!  
**

**Review or PM me for any comments or questions!  
**


	9. Having Fruits, doesn't mean fertile

**Hey guys! Here's my next chapter to this story! Please remember to update, or I won't give you new chapters! So in this chapter, Od-Jobs goes through the Davy-Back games, and I hope you find them as entertaining as I do! The villains are explored a little further, and guess who shows up at the end!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama or One Piece  
**

Gintoki and Shinpachi stared nervously at the beings in front of them; one was a giant gorilla, one resembled gorilla, and the other was a giant mountain man. Kagura, in the meantime, was chasing freakin butterfly! She was strong enough to take these bahemas, so why did they have to suffer?

"Kagura-chan!" Shinpachi whispered. "Gin-san and I aren't strong enough to take these guys, so we need you to protect us!

"Yeah, yeah, just don't forget to pull your weight around here." She grumbled. "I get to pick the next guy."

"Anything! Just win!" Gintoki exclaimed.

"You two have to participate too." Kagura grumbled and lead the group out into the field. She looked at the three grinning giants, noting that the big hermit giant was the ball man. "Too easy. Let's start already!"

"YES! YES! DAVY BACK ROUND 2 BEGIN!" The odd announcer shouted.

CLICK! Aiming her armed parasol she grinned. "YOSH! Time for a game of whack a mole!"

"STOP! No weapons allowed!" Itomimizu yelled.

"But I need it for a health condition! The sun burns my skin!" Kagura complained. "A Yato's skin is too sensitive to sunlight!"

"Medical validations cannot be used unless with proven documentation!" Foxy yelled.

CLICK! Kagura disarmed her weapon and tossed it aside. "Damn. Ah well, it'll be better this way anyways!"

"SO! SO! DAVY BACK ROUND 2 BEGIN!" And with a bang of a gun, the match started. Shinpachi stayed as far away from the giants as humanly possible, while Gintoki got in front of the younger boy to protect him.

Charging forward, Pickles rushed forward, fisting his hand at the little girl. Hamburg charged and raised his cleeted shoes above her. Kagura smirked and held out both of her hands. SMASH! SMASH!

"KAGURA!" Shinpachi and Gintoki yelled.

But when the dust cleared, all they saw was Kagura's grinning face and that she had caught the giant fist and boot with her hands. Both of the giants started sweating profusely as the girl's grin became more manic.

"Yosh! I've got two ball for one ballman!" She yelled. With tremendous pull, she pulled the two giants' fist and leg out of alignment.

"AAUGH!" They yelled, and at this point, their pupils had gone up. Dropping one to the ground, she picked up Pickles and hurdled him at Big Pan. The tallest giant just stared in disbelief at what was happening, so he didn't both the dodge his incoming teammate. BANG! Pickles collided with him, soon followed by Hamburg, BANG! Soon after, Big Pan was seeing stars and all three of the Foxy teammates were on the ground.

"Oi ref." Gintoki called. "Since they're obviously forfeiting, we win right?"

"UUUHHH…" The announced turned to Foxy, who was too busy staring at the sight before him as well, he nodded dumbly unconsciously. "YES! WINNER OF ROUND 2 GOES TO ODD-JOBS!"

"YOSH! GIMME THE GIANT BIRD!" She demanded.

"WHAT? I'D NEVER GIVE UP CHUCHUN!" Itomimizu exclaimed.

"His name's no longer Chuchun, it's Sadaharu! Bow to me Sadaharu #29!" Kagura demanded.

"29? What do you mean 29? How many Sadaharu's could you possibly have?" Itomimizu demanded.

"I had many Sadaharu's throughout my childhood, but they all tragically passed, except for Sadaharu #27 who awaits for me at home!" She declared.

"What in the hell happened is 28?" Porche demanded.

"Oh, he died in the great duel between me and the Sadist. Stupid Gin-chan stepped on it though." The girl grumbled. "So can we go now? I'm bored."

"WAIT! THERE'S STILL ROUND THREE! THE CAPTAIN'S MATCH!" Foxy declared. "THIS MATCH IS TAKE ALL! IF I WIN ALL OF YOU JOIN MY CREW, IF YOU WIN-"

"We take your ship and food." Gintoki added. "Oh, and Porche-chan!"

"UGH! You're like that perverted Strawhat cook!" She blached.

"No, no, I do not wear a Strawhat, it would mess up my hair." Gintoki smiled suavely.

"You mean your perm?" Porche sweat-dropped.

"MY HAIR IS NATURALLY THIS WAY! IT'S NOT A PERM!" Gintoki shouted.

"Whatever. Looks stupid either way." Porche huffed.

Foxy had veins popping up all over his head. He was going to switch the captain's match to a dodge ball game, but there was no way he could beat tahta little girl's immense strength! What the hell was she? What devil fruit did she possess? But in looking at the permhead, he looked too lazy and stupid to put up a proper fight. Thinking back to the Strawhat Captain, he was stupid but he wasn't lazy, so naturally this should turn out better!

"OKAY! Davy Back Round 3! Captain's Fight!" Foxy announced.

**Mariejois**

Hijikata and Kondo sat awkwardly in the table, trying not to stare at the strange looking people. They had to keep telling themselves that this was an Amanto planet, and so naturally people of all shapes, colors, sizes, and species would be found here. But what bothered both of them the most were the man and woman in white versions of their uniforms, across from them. The Shichibukai nor the Navy officials didn't know their relationship, but it was very obvious they didn't like each other.

"Isaburo, still spamming emails?" Hijikata asked casually while marinating his rice in mayonnaise.

"No, people are actually being good email-buddies now. Are you still destroying your cholesterol with that dog-food you call mayonnaise?" Isaburo asked not looking up form his phone.

Kondo sweat-dropped as his subordinate and the opposing leaders exchanged sparks; he noted the girl was about as talkative or as interesting as ever. Nobume just munched donuts in disinterest as she always did. Deciding now would be a good time to introduce himself, Kondo stood up. "Hello, my name is Kondo Isao, leader and founder of the Shinsengumi; we are the elite task force that keeps the peace in our world. This is my Vice-captain Hijikata Toshiro, and my First-Squad Captain is currently out right now, but you'll meet him eventually. His name is Okita Sougo, the best sword arm in the Shinsemgumi."

**Davy-Back Fight**

Gintoki stared nervously at what he was about to do; he was going to kill this Foxy-bastard! Staring down below, he faced the roller derby of doom with a pale face. For the final fight, Foxy declared a roller-derby race; whoever got passed the finish line first, won. After begging Shinpachi to do it, considering he was the only one out of them who knew how to skate! But the megane was still bitter about the 'Ballman' comment, so he refused to participate, and Kagura wasn't allowed to compete due to the fact that she single-handedly won two rounds.

"O-Oi, a-any chance we could talk about this?" He asked feebly.

"NOPE! ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, GO!" Imomizu yelled.

ZIP! Both were launched into the skating sphere. "AAAAUGH!" Gintoki waved his arms frantically to keep himself in balance, while Foxy kept himself straight and balanced the whole time. Meanwhile, his crew brought out some bags, and poured some round items onto the ramp, marbles. "Shinpachi! Kagura! These guys are throwing marbles ontot the ramp! You guys throw something now!"

"Okay Gin-chan!" Before he knew it, Kagura threw a bunch of bombs onto the roller rink, going straight for him.

"YOU IDIOT!" Spending forward, he ran for his life to get away from the dangerous detonations.

Foxy's eyes bugged out at the development. "OI! Referee! Card him already!"

"Lose weight to go faster you stupid fox-man!" Gintoki shouted.

"GAAH!" Foxy suddenly slumped over, and a little rain cloud appeared over his head.

"WHY? WHY? Is there a raincloud! Did that negative comment stop him? Is he really that weak?" Gintoki exclaimed at the ridiculousness.

"Foxy-sama! You're strong! You can beat him!" Porche yelled.

Just as easily as he became depressed, Foxy went right back up again, and sped forward. "Not to worry my pet, I have my ways!" Reaching down on his skates, he pushed a button. BOOM! Rocket boosters were activated on his skates and he sped forward. He passed Gintoki in seconds.

"WHAT? Rocket Boosters? How is he staying on? What is, Wil.E..Coyote and the Road Runner?" The permhead demanded. In his yelling, he hadn't noticed something on the ramp- a small bump that leaned upwards. Gintoki soon found himself flying over Foxy. "AAAUGH!"

"Ara! Look Shinpachi! Gin-chan's flying!" Kagura pointed.

` "Ah. He's like a Blue-Footed Boobie coming for it's notorious graceful landing." The boy nodded.

"I knew it! Gin-chan is a boob!" Kagura smiled.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BOOB!" Stumbling a bit, he managed to miraculously land on his feet, and continued the race. He called back to Foxy behind him. "OI Fox-guy! How do you stop these things?"

"Why would you stop in the middle of the race? Forfeiting?" He laughed, and pointed his finger at the Permhead.

"NO IDIOT! I'M GOING TOO FAST, AND I'M GOING TO ROLL-OUT INTO THE OCEAN LIKE THIS!" Gintoki shouted.

"Don't worry, speed won't be your problem for long. NORO-NORO BEAM!" He shot a beam at Gintoki, effectively slowing the Samurai down. Gintoki, Shinpachi, and Kagura gawked at this; what the hell did that guy do?

"Shinpachi, is he half robot or something?" The girl asked.

"Maybe. It would explain his robust body and extreme mood-swings." Shinpachi's rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"Of course not!" Porche exclaimed. "Foxy-sama just used his devil fruit that's all! Which is allowed in the rules, before you argue!"

"Devil fruit?" Shinpachi murmured, his eyes widened when he remembered the Skypians mention it. His eyes narrowed. "Excuse me, Porche-san…could you tell us more about these devil fruits?"

Meanwhile, Gintoki was wondering why the hell he slowed down; just what had the guy shot him with? Suddenly, Gintoki felt himself gain speed, and he quickly caught up with Foxy. "OI! Fox-guy! What the hell did you shoot at me?"

"Like it? It's the power of my Noro Noro no MI! The power to slow anyone down for 30sec!" He declared arrogantly, and pointed again at Gintoki.

"Noro Noro no Mi?" Gintoki repeated.

"Yes! My devil fruit you dolt!" He exclaimed.

"Devil Fruit?" Thinking back to the Marine Vice Admiral, Gintoki's eyes widened. "Say…what are these devil fruits exactly?"

"You don't know? Just what backwater island do you come from?" Foxy asked.

"I come form a different planet all together bastard!" Gintoki exclaimed. "Now tell me about these damned devil fruits!"

"They're the fruits that are supposedly born from the sea itself! Each fruit has a specific power, and depending on which on you eat, you receive that power! With the different powers, come the different types: Zoan, Logia, and Paramecia. The zoan type are the ones that transform you into an animal or an object, the logia turn you into the embodiment of an element, and the Paramecia allow your body to contain power and project it, like mine!" Foxy explained haughtily. "There are also several extremely rare types called the Mystic Zoan, but all of those are taken anyways! They essentially transform you into a mystic beat or heavenly figure of some kind!"

"…Not everyone has these devil fruits right?" Gintoki was nervous, this universe might be a lot nastier than he had initially thought. "There's a weakness to these things right!"

"Of course there is! There's the material seastone, which is found at the bottom of the deepest parts of the ocean! And then…in exchange for swallowing the fruit, each user loses their ability to swim." That statement surprised Gintoki. "I know what you're thinking! How does a pirate or anyone survive without being able swim? For a simple answer, we're just careful, have crewmates, or get lucky. It's a necessary sacrifice to climb to the top, or even just to survive. It's so bad, that just having contact with the ocean water neutralize us."

"Isn't that counterproductive if you're around water all the time?" Gintoki pointed out.

"Again! A necessary risk! Now stay still and let me win!" Foxy demanded. "NORO-NORO BEAM!" It hit Gintoki as intended, and Foxy sped up to pass him, but what happened next was unexpected. "What?" Foxy felt something grab his back as he passed Gintoki, and saw that the permhead had actually pulled himself up onto his back.

"HO? THE PERMHEAD SAMURAI ACTUALLY PULLED HIMSELF UP ON CAPTAIN FOXY FOR A PIGGY-BACK RIDE!" The announcer yelled.

Foxy was shocked and tried to shake the samurai off him. "Get off me you ignoramus!"

"No Fox-guy, you see…I'm lazy and haven't had sugar in awhile, and your explanation bored me, so I feel too lazy to finish the race. So I'm just hitching a ride with you so we can win this on a tie." Gintoki explained.

"A tie? The Davy Games have never ended in a tie!" Foxy exclaimed. "Now get off my back!"

"Then it will be a contest of who leans their head in the farthest." The permhead shrugged.

"NO!" Foxy failed his arms desperately, trying to get the other man off him. In all this arguing Foxy hadn't noticed they were coming up on the finish line.

"Look alive Fox-guy." Gintoki leaned forward, which caused Foxy to do so as well. And in a flash of a camera, the race was over. Rolling to a stop, Gintoki got off Foxy's back and quickly got the skates off, vowing never to wear those horrid things again. Turning back to the man he rode on, he scratched the back of his head. "So…who won?"

**Mariejois**

The meeting was over, and the Shichibukai had been dismissed, leading the Navy Officials and World government officials left. Hijikata stared at Spandine and Spandam distrustfully, after hearing about the fugitives escaping from this island called Water7, the Vice-Captain was less than impressed. Honestly, seven pirates escaped against an etire battalion of elite Navy and government soldiers, what kind of organization was this? "Spandam-san…how was it a tiny group of people bet your entire fleet?" He asked.

"Those bastards who used to be apart of Cipher Pole screwed me over!" He screamed indignantly. "Rob Lucci and those bastards! They'll pay for what they did to me! They'll pay for that disaster!" He clenched his teeth.

Spandine put a hand on his son's shoulder. "As you can tell, my son has been deeply scarred by the Enies Lobby incident, so no intention less than revenge is sufficient."

"I see." Kondo spoke up. "Not that I don't respect your love and dedication for your son, but what does that have to do with the alliance of the Mimiwarigumi and Shinesngumi with the Navy and World Government?"

"It's simple really." Isaburo spoke up. "With the Marineford war ending at a standstill two years ago, the world is still on edge about who is the dominant force in the world, so it will be out job to remind the world that is the peace that order and justice keeps that allows them to live and thrive. However, superficial words like this mean nothing without a some sort of commitment."

"Ah. So basically, we're going to find these traitors and bring them in for judgement huh?" Hijikata smoked a cigarette. "I'm guessing this is a job left to us, and not these rich-bastards?"

"No." Akainu spoke up. "This is a collaborative project between you and the Mimiwarigumi; it'll prove your mutual cooperation and promise to your alliance to the Navy. By bringing in these traitors, you not only prove your worth, but whether or not we can trust you."

"I see." Kondo nodded. "We'll need a guide though, I'm afraid we don't know these waters."

"One will be provided for you." Kizaru answered.

"I see. So let's go over these former Cipher Pole agents shall we?" The monocle guy closed his phone.

"Fine." Hijikata took a drag and started looking over the files, but then he noticed something on Spandine's face. "What happened to your face?"

"Nothing. Got punched out by a damned permhead." He growled.

Hijikata dropped his cigarette. "Permhead?"

**Back at Davy Back**

Well the results were in, Gintoki won- with his perm. While both men had leaned in their heads in furiously at the end, it was Gintoki's hairdo that allowed his head to be big enough to extend the necessary diameter of his head to win the race. So they were now the second to ever win against the Foxy pirates.

Gintoki grinned and clapped his hands together. "So we get the hot girl, a navigator, and giant bird! Thank you for business!"

"NO! I demand a rematch!" Foxy and Porche demanded.

"Don't be sore losers, this was proposed by you, right?" Gintoki pointed out.

"It doesn't matter! I refuse to go with people like you!" Porche turned up her nose.

"I don't care, I just want Sadaharu No. 29." Kagura said, trying to control the flaiig bird.

"Ano…may we just have a ship?" Shinpachi asked sensibly. But in the corner of Shinpachi's eye, he saw something. "Uh…guys?" They coming up close on Kagura notably.

"HOLD STILL-" Kagura was suddenly pulled off Chuchun, and saw her new pet get trapped by a giant net. "NO! Sadaharu No. 29!" She turned to the assailant with pumped fists. "Who are you, you bastard?"

The assailant was an old man who looked notably like a chef. He had a pointy mustache, a very tall chef hat, was dressed in a chef outfit, was fat and old, and had a peg for his left leg. He stared down at the girl in disinterest and turned to his men, who looked like kitchen aides. "OI! Careful! Don't want to damage the meat!"

"AYE!" They yelled.

"Listen to me you bastard!" Kagura shouted.

"HM?" He turned to the Kagura with a glare. "Who are you?"

"I'm Yato Kagura, Queen of Kabukicho! Now release Sadaharu No. 29!" She demanded.

"29? What happened to the others?" He asked.

"They all died except for No. 27, and that's cause he's a giant puppy-dog god! No. 29 is obviously a bird god of some kind, so hand him over!" She demanded.

"Sweetie, the only form of god that exists in that bird is the genetics that bred him." He looked at her and noted the two odd-balls out of the masked pirate group. "See you and your companions got into a mess wit the Foxy Crew? You still owe me for that large meal Foxy."

"Yes!" Foxy stood straight. "Please take the bird as payment!"

"SIR!" Itomimizu exclaimed. "How could you be so heartless?"

"It's either me or the bird!" Foxy exclaimed.

"It doesn't matter!" Kagura exclaimed. "Don't blame Sadaharu no. 27 for his debt! Now let him go or I'll kill you!"

"You willing to do anything for that bird?" He asked with a glint. At this, Shinpachi and Gintoki went behind Kagura.

"Oi, Oi, Oi, just what do you think you're doing, hitting on little girls so blatantly?" Gintoki pointed out.

"Hm? Who are you permhead?" He asked.

"It's not a perm!" He exclaimed. "But I'm Sakata Gintoki, and this is my assistant Shimura Shinpachi."

"Kagura-chan's our friend, and we won't let you hurt her." The boy replied.

"I see." He twirled his mustache thoughtfully. "Tell you what, if you three bozos work off the amount of money Foxy owes me, as well as the amount of money that bird would bring, I'll let you three have the bird and even bring you to the nearest island."

"Deal!" Kagura said instantly.

"Don't go deciding things on your own!" Gitnoki hit over the head. "Honestly, stupid brat. So how much money are we talking here, old man?"

"We're looking at 100 million beri, so you're looking at about ten years of labor." He answered.

"No thank-" BOING! Kagura bashed Gintoki and Shinpachi into unconsciousness before they could protest.

"So what's your name, new boss-man?" Kagura stood straight.

"Zeff. Head Chef of the Floating Restaurant Baratie." He smirked.

**Review Please! Let me know if you guys have any questions! Review if you want new chapters, thank you!**


	10. Happy Waiters don't spit in your Food

**Hello People! Sorry I didn't update last week; I had an emotional breakdown last week due to some family drama. You see, I had an abusive childhood and forced myself to move on and forget about it, but what I didn't realize was just how many unresolved issue I had from that coping method. So an event happened, and I forced to face all og my childhood trauma at once. But I'm getting better, and I can write again, so it's fine, and I have a major announcement!**

**Due to EXTREME popular demand, and recent inspiration, I have decided to write a sequel to my Case Closed x One Piece crossover. Don't get too excited people- I still want to finish this crossover first, and I am not writing two big crossovers at the same time. The story's still in the drawing board of my mind, but feel free to ask questions. But remember, the more reviews I get, the faster I update, and the sooner I can publish the sequel.**

**So review people! The release date of your beloved sequel depends on it! Bwahahaha! But seriously, read, enjoy, review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama**

It had been a week aboard the floating restaurant Baratie; Gintoki and Shinpachi swore on their graves that they'd get revenge on Kagura for this one day; when they came out of their mini-comas, they found themselves propped up in a standing position, dressed in waiter uniforms, and found themselves being used as coat hangers. After throwing a tantrum by stomping on the coats and throwing them into the ocean, they added another five years to their debt. Shinpachi and Gintoki's jobs were very simple, all they had to do was take orders and wash dishes; Gintoki soon got banned to outside cleaning duty for his rudeness towards the guests and him swiping the desserts for himself. Shinpachi was okay at being a waiter, but he struggled to write the orders fast enough. It was Kagura was having a blast, she was beloved by customers in her maid outfit it was mid-length black maid-outfit with a maid hat and apron. They said their orders slower, invited her to join their meals, some paid for her meals, and she even got off the hook for throwing a man through the wall for touching her leg inappropriately. Yes, only one of them was having a good time.

Gintoki cursed to himself as he swabbed the main deck; closing time was two hours ago, and his job was to clean all the floors of the outside deck along with Kagura's and Shinpachi's help. With her strength and speed, Kagura got her part done instantly; Shinpachi and Gintoki weren't as lucky. Sighing, he continued mopping and enjoyed the feeling of the ocean breeze against his skin until-SMACK! Something hit him in the face. He cursed grabbed the piece of paper out of his face, and proceeded to crumple it up.

"Damage that paper and it'll be your head, perm-boy." Gintoki turned to Zeff staring furiously at him. Raising a brow, Gintoki glanced down at the paper; it was a badly drawn portrait of a blonde man, with a cigarette, and a curly brow. It was a wanted poster of a man named 'Black-Leg Sanji', with a bounty of $77,000,000 beri. "You know this guy?"

"Ah. He's my son." The old chef took the wanted poster from him and posted it back in its proper place. "I raised him in this very restaurant to be the best he could be, he left about four years ago to find the 'Great Blue'."

"Great Blue?"

"It's a section of the ocean in the Grand Line where every species of fish supposedly exists, extinct or not. It's his dream to filet and fry each and every kind, ha ha!" Zeff laughed. "He's a good kid, a lousy chef though."

"Then why let him go?" Gintoki raised a brow.

"Cause. The only way he was going to get better was if he expanded his horizons, his cooking was becoming lazy because he kept preparing the same dish over and over again." Zeff explained. "He was bored, but was foolishly loyal, when the opportunity finally came for him to leave he almost refused it because he actually had the gall to think I couldn't run my own restaurant! Imagine me! The greatest chef in the world! HAHAHA!" Zeff smiled at the poster. "He'll get better in his cooking because he'll keep getting inspired."

"Hm…who'd he end up joining?" Gintoki asked.

"The Strawhat Crew, crew to the future King of the Pirates." Zeff chuckled. "Sanji better damn-well be the world's greatest chef by then."

**Next Morning**

Gintoki, Shinpachi, and Kagura got up like they normally did at 6am and prepared for the day. They swabbed the decks, set the tables, and cleaned the dishes; yep a completely normal day. Except for the fact that this was day they where they would meet their maker in the form of an angry Vice Admiral.

Vice Admiral Momonga wasn't having a pleasant day, in fact he was furious. He was starving, had been forced into watch duty last night by Kizaru, and still hadn't found those damned Odd-Jobs fugitives! Luckily, he and his crew were close to the famous floating restaurant, Baratie, which by some miracle ended up in their route. So he was ecstatic that his budget allowed him to eat in such a high-quality place, he'd stop by that demand Gecko Island later! Walking into the restaurant, he threw his coat to a waiter and went to take a seat, waiting impatiently for someone to take his order.

Shinpachi, the waiter he threw the coat at, was pale in the face, recognizing Momonga immediately. Very quietly, he went out into the lower to deck to find Gintoki; the damn permhead was taking a nap! "Gin-san!" He whacked the older on the head with his serving tray. "Get up! We've got big trouble!"

"Oi, oi, oi, what are you yelling so much for Shinpachi-kun?" He asked.

"Remember that Navy-guy from Thriller Bark?! He's here in the restaurant!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"So?"

"So…if he finds us, he'll arrest us and we'll never find that diamond!" The boy exclaimed.

"Oh yeah…who knew a one piece treasure would be so difficult?" The lazy samurai sighed. "Relax, we'll just play it cool until he leaves; all you and Kagura have to do is make sure that he doesn't see your faces, he eats his meal in peace, and we're in the clear."

"True. What about you Gin-san?" Shinpachi asked.

"I'm the outside cleaning person thingy, I'm not allowed to interarct with the customers, remember?" He asked.

"True. All right, leave it to me!" Shinpachi ran back into the rstuatn to find Kagura.

"Damn. Kids have too much energy these days." Gintoki sighed and went back to his nap.

Shinpachi ran back into the restaurant and glanced around for Kagura; to his horror, she had her back turned to Momonga while she was serving another customer. Momonga, who didn't know it was a minor he was hitting on, was enjoying the view of the young lady's back side. The white tights and skirt suited her legs nicely; licking his lips, he reached out to touch the young lady's legs.

When Kagura felt the hand touch her leg, she twitched in annoyance. "Excuse me little lady, how about taking my order; would you happen to be the special today?" Twitching at the horrible pick-up line, she snapped. PUNCH! POW! BOOM!

"What do you think you're touching, damn hentai!" She screeched at him. Shinpachi stood, frozen in place; from the shock and horror at the risk of being exposed. "HAHAHA! You got what deserved damn hentai!" Momonga was bloodied up in the nose, face, and his pupils were rolled back; the man was out cold.

Taking his chance, Shinpachi dashed over to the girl. "Kagura-chan! I need to see you in the kitchen!" Bursting into the kitchen, the staff looked at him in surprise before he shouted, "Quick! Customer down! He might sue!"

DASH! The cooking was staff went out, leaving Shinpachi and KAgura alone. "Kagura-chan listen to me, the man you just punched out was that Navy-bastard we fought on that haunted ship island."

"Really? I thought he disappeared three chapters, weird. You really do have a great memory, Megane." Kagura replied.

"It doesn't matter! We have to keep our faces hidden until after he leaves, otherwise he'll arrest us and we won't be able to find the diamond!" Shinapchi exclaimed.

"Ooooh…so that's why we have to keep it on the download." Kagura nodded.

"Kagura-chan, please don't use such outdated language." Shinpachi sweat-dropped. "But yes, and that means no beating up the guy."

"If it's for Sadahaur No. 29, anything!" Kagura saluted.

"Oh yeah, what ever happened to that bird Kagura-chan?" Shinpachi then realized he actually hadn't seen the bird since they got here.

"I let Sadaharu no 29 fly around for exercise on the roof, but he hasn't come back yet for some reason. I'm starting to get worried about him getting eaten." Kagura explained.

"YOU IDIOT! THAT MEANS YOU LET HIM GO?! THAT MEANS WE'RE HERE FOR NOTHING!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"But he looked so sad and bored that I had to let him go!" Kagura argued. "Besides…he wouldn't eat any of the food I prepared for him, so…I let him go back to the place where he did eat."

"Kagur-chan…" Shinpachi was astonished at the girl's empathy. "You really miss Sadaharu back home don't you?"

"Yeah. I miss him, the Sadist, my friends, Granny Otose, and everyone else." She explained.

"I see. Well then, we'll have to find the Pirate's Eye diamond even faster then." The boy encouraged.

"YEP! For Sadaharu!" She cheered.

Menawhiel, Momonga finally came around from the blows he received, and he wasn't happy. "Where the hell is that damned waitress?! I demand that she is fired!"

"Well sir, the truth is she's working off a debt, we can't fire her." The biggest assistant said.

"Then make her apologize at least!" The Vice Admiral exclaimed.

"How about a free meal instead? I'm Patty the assistant head-chef. The girl will be on dish duty for the rest of the day, so you won't have to see her face." The large man explained.

"Fine. Give me the lamb-fish filet special and the finest red wine." The Vice Admiral demanded.

"Right away!" He replied. After the cooking staff retreated back into the kitchen, Momonga noted there was one waiter left; feeling impatient he snapped his fingers. The boy stiffened and shuffled to the Vice Admiral awkwardly, trying desperately not to show his face.

"H-How can I help you sir?" The boy asked a deep voice.

"Finest red win you got, and make it snappy." He griped.

"Yes sir!" The poor boy saluted and ran to the kitchen. "Finest red wine please!"

"Here!" Patty passed the bottle to Shinpachi. "Make sure prissy bastard out there gets happy-drunk; should be easier to deal with then."

"H-hai." Shinpachi nodded nervously and went back out. He looked around for Kagura and sighed in relief when he noticed her on the top floor.

"Thanks for waiting, uhhuh! Your order was hard to balance whoops!" Kagura accidentally tilted the tray of food too far backwards, and the food fell…straight onto Momonga's head. Shinpachi sweat-dropped when he noticed fine red wine dripping from the man's head. "Sorry! I'll have towel boy get you a fresh set, uhhuh!"

"Do you even know what the hell that means you imbecile?" Momonga exclaimed, turning his attention upwards. He blinked when he saw Kagura's face, as if trying to place her.

"HERE!" Momonga suddenly found a wine glass being shoved in face. "LET ME POUR FOR YOU! ALSO, HERE'S A FRESH TOWEL FOR YOU TO CLEAN YOUR FACE WITH!" Momonga mumbled and struggled as Shinpachi hastily poured his wine, while forced the cloth to stay on his face. Only when Shinpachi dashed back to the kitchen, did Momonga get to pull the cloth off.

"What in the world is with this damned waiting staff?! Honestly, if I wasn't getting this meal for free…" He growled and started for his wine glass, he drank it calmly; Kagura and Shinpachi watch form a distance behind a pillar in relief.

"Okay, we should be in the clear as long as he doesn't ask for anything else." Shinpachi sighed.

"Yeah. Good thing he didn't ask for an appetizer!" Kagura nodded.

Shinpachi gulped. "Appetizer?"

"WHERE'S MY APPETIZER! WAITER!" Shinpachi once again went into that award pose. "GET ME A CRAB SALAD FOR MY APPETIZER MAKE SURE THERE'S NO LAIT!"

"SURE!" Shinpachi went to kitchen. "CRAB SALAD FREE OF LAIT!"

"Why are you shouting?" One of the chef's asked. "And free of lice?"

"That's what the customer said!" Shinpachi defended.

"Okay, but as a general rule, all of our dishes are free of lice." He handed Shinpachi the salad and the boy zipped of, passing Kagura in her hiding place.

"HERE SIR!" He handed him the crab salad.

"Finally." After taking a few bites of the maynoise-covered salad he actually put a smile on his face. "Wow, leave it to the Baratie to make Lait-free maynoise taste good."

"Lait-free?" Shinpachi repeated.

"Yes. I said Lait-free! One of the only redeeming" GRUMBLE. A loud gurgling noise came from the Vice Admiral's stomach; he suddenly pulled Shinpachi to face him. "This isn't Lait-free is it?" He gridded out, holding his stomach in pain.

"Uh…" Shinpachi was more nervous about his at the moment.

"You don't even know what Lait means, do you?" He growled.

"…Not exactly. It's a parasite found on your head, right?" Shinapchi asked.

"NO YOU IDIOT! LAIT IS FRENCH MORE MILK! I'M LACTOSE-INTOLERANT! WHY WOULD I ORDER A DISH FREE OF LICE?!" Momonga demanded through his intestinal pain. GURGLE! Momonga's face went blue. "I'll deal with you later!" He rushed towards the bathroom and shut himself in.

Kagura ran up to her friend. "Nice Megane! You forced that tight-ass bastard to take a dump!"

"Don't use such language Kagura-chan, you're a young lady." He sighed. "This buys us some time, let's hide out upstairs and have another server help him."

"Oh, I thought you knew Megane; we're the only wait-staff; people keep quitting because of all the violence between the pirates and navy people. Apparently the Navy and the Pirates are pretty tense with each other in this word; fighting over the ocean or something."

"Half of that's probably accurate." Shinapchi said in interest. "Then we have no choice, we have to try get through this meal. But at the rate we're going, we might outlast Momonga-san."

"Un. We have to make sure his meal his flawless, uh-huh." Kagura nodded.

Five minutes later, Momonga emerged from the bathroom a new man; to his relief, the wait staff was nowhere to be found, and it appeared that his salad had been taken away. After checking above and around him, he stepped out of the bathroom and warily went back to his table. The waiting staff may very well be trying to kill him. To his relief, Patty brought out his food, and still no sign of the waiter and waitress from held. "Enjoy your meal sir, everything on the house."

"Thank you." Said the humbled Vice Admiral; the blue streaks in his still showed. After Patty left, he went to savor his meal with his eyes. His fish was beautifully filleted and perfectly cut; the lamb's smell was absolutely heavenly and the chops were arranged in a beautiful circle. To top it off, there were mashed potatoes and peas on the side. After taking a smell, he got his knife and fork and-

"Ah. There's a stain on that tablecloth, let me get that for you." CRASH! Momonga didn't move when the food he was about to dig into was pulled away from him, and fell unceremoniously to the ground. With his mouth still open, he turned to see the same idiot pemrhead who defeated him a little over a week ago at Thriller Bark. The permhead just stared at him with ha slightly apologetic expression. "Uhh…I can fix that."

Momonga's face slowly turend a very bright shade of red, and then: "AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGH!"

**5min Later**

"You people better feel lucky I don't feel like filing charges against you people for housing fugitives!" He yelled at Zeff, who had finally woken up from all the commotion. "Too much paperwork."

"Take them; I never thought I'd meet a worse waiter than my son's captain." Zeff huffed.

Momonga pursed his lips. "I expect my order to be take-out later. But for now…" He turned to the three fugitives, who were now in handcuffs. "I want these three in the holding cell on Gecko Island; there's no possible way they could ruin my meal from that far away! No devil fruit has time powers!"

"Gecko Island?" Gintoki repeated. "Where are we going, the land of the giant lizards? This isn't a parody of Jurassic Park, is it?"

"Gin-san…just what were you thinking back there?" Shinpachi asked.

"Oh Shinpachi-kun! I found this great recipe that combined a chocolate parfait and Kailua. It looked so good that I had to try it; and then I tried three." Gintoki explained. "That recipe joined my two driving forces: sugar and alcohol."

"So basically, you got drunk and screwed us over." Shinpachi sighed.

"I haven't a loser stupid enough to get drunk on sugar." Kagura added.

"ENOUGH!" Momonga got their attention. "You three will be detained in Syrup Village until my meal is finished, and then you will be transported to Impel Down for imprisonment which I will take great pleasure in throwing away the keys!

"Someone's got anger issues." Gintoki replied.

**1hr Later**

Apparently, they were right outside this 'Gecko Island' for the floating restaurant was stopping for a stock refill there, so it wasn't long until the Odd-Jobs people found themselves in a dingy holding cell in the village's jailhouse. A couple of marines stood guard, but they about as excited to be there as the jail occupants.

"Small base you guys got here." Gintoki said trying to make conversation.

"Bases are being estabslighed everywhere since the war." The soldiers shrugged.

"Oh yeah, this Marineford War-thingie people keep talking about. What happened exactly? Who was fighting who?" Gintoki asked.

"What are you, a complete hermit?" One of them asked.

"No, just an alien from another planet. Now spill, what's with this war everyone keeps talking about?" Gintoki asked.

"It was a war that was between the pirates and navy; the Navy had captured Gol D. Ace-san for execution to extinguish the hope of the Pirates." One of the guards answered. "Gol. D. Ace was the second commander for Whitbeard's crew, the strongest and largest crew in the world. The Navy fought as best as we could, and were even close to eliminating Strawhat!"

"So what happened?" Shinpachi jumped in. Even though he heard this story, he hadn't gotten a good explanation.

"Tch! If it hadn't been for that damn Red-Haired Shanks, then both Fire Fist and Strawhat would be dead!" The other solider punched the wall. "The war was about to be won when Fleet Admiral Sengoku-san was about to execute Ace and Luffy with his shockwave, but Red-Haired showed up with his crew and stopped the war. He forced the Navy to stand down, and convinced the Pirates to take Fire Fist and Strawhat."

"Our numbers were depleted, and both sides suffered tremendous losses in numbers." Solider #1 continued. "As a result of the war, Strawhat and the Whitebeard Pirates disappeared for about two years, and suddenly resurfaced not too long ago. Whitebard and his men are stronger than ever, and with his alliance to the Strawhat's…I don't even want to know what they're capable of."

"Huh? I'd think the people who have the ignorance to say who can live or die are the bigger threats." Gintoki shrugged casually, catching the two marines off guard. "So basically, your government's cracking down on old leads and strangle-holding places these pirates might be hiding. That's so funny it's pathetic." Kagura and Shinpachi watched and listened carefully.

The men glared and pointed their muskets at him. "You!" Gintoki smirked and pulled the muskets forward. POW! POW! Their faces met with Shinpachi and Kagura's fists simultaneously. Gitnoki snatched the key from their corpses and unlocked the cell.

"Let's head back to the restaurant; that old man isn't expecting us to be long." Gintoki sighed. He, Shinpachi, and Kagura walked out of the jailhouse, and started for the beach. Only to be confronted by…children?

"Stop fugitives! This town is under the protection of the Onions! Go back to your cell or suffer the consequences!" They declared.

The Odd-Jobs group just stared; Gintoki spoke. "Um…what?"

"Boys! Shame on you!" A beautiful blonde ran to the group and started chiding them. She turned to the group and bowed politely. "Hello, my name is Kaya, welcome to Syrup Village."

**Review Please! Remember, if I don't get more reviews, I won't post, and if I don't post, you won't get your Case ClosedxOne Piece sequel. So anyways, I forgot to mention something in the last chapter- Sadaharu. Sadaharu is Kagura's giant pet puppy dog as mentioned earlier, but by the no. 28 or no. 29 thing, is the number of Sadaharu's Kagura has had. Due to her immense strength as a Yato- Kagura has accidentally killed all of her pets, except for the current Sadaharu, which is the giant puppy dog.**

**As for this chapter, I don't think I missed any references. As for the Case Closed x One Piece sequel, you are all allowed to ask questions, and brign up theories, and even make requests, but I am not posting that story until this one is complete. Thank you!**


	11. Don't tease someone with Hedgeclippers

**Hey guys! So here's the next chapter, thank you for the reviews, keep it up! So anyways, in this chapter, it starts off with someone different than Odd-Jobs, so pay attention. So Gecko Island is explored, and Kaya and Ussop's old gang is re-introduced. Hope you like it! Read, enjoy, review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama**

There wasn't much to say about Little Garden island; other than its dangerous, prehistoric residents who could devour buildings in a single gulp. And it wasn't every day that something fell out of the sky and landed straight into the T-Rex's nest. BOOM! A large human-pod shaped thing landed, and the lid popped, and what quickly emerged was something that made the mother T-Rex very mad. It was a bald man, with a toupee loosely hanging from his head. "COUGH! COUGH! Damn thing fell into my face! Caused me to crash into an asteroid!"

SNIFF! The bald man in the tan suit turned to the mother T-Rex. "RRRRRRROOOOOOAUGH!"

"Oh, excuse me, ma'm!" POW! One punch sent the dinosaur flying. With a proud, corny pose on a rock he said: "Sorry, but no being in any universe is a match for the Great Umibozu! Most powerful alien hunter in the universe!"

PLOP! A bird flew by and dropped his condolences on the bald man's head.

**Gecko Island**

Kagura felt a chill go down her spine; she shivered and drank some her of tea.

"What's wrong, Kagura-chan?" Shinpachi asked.

"Nothing. Just a chill." She said hastily.

"So if this is Syrup Village, does this mean this place is a giant pancake house?" Gintoki asked.

"What was that?" One of the boy's asked.

"Did you insult our village, pirate scum?!" The second one demanded, holding a fake wooden pirate sword.

"Boys! Boys!" Kaya scolded.

"Sorry Miss Kaya, but we promised Captain Ussop to protect you in his stead!" The third boy announced.

"And we won't let him down!" They declared. And held out their makeshift weapons.

"Calm down you lot! Have some decency inside Miss Kaya's mansion!" the group turned to a mild-mannered man, dressed as a lamb. He was carrying a hot-pot of tea and scones.

"Oh! Merry! Please come join us!" Kaya clapped her hands together.

"Certainly Miss Kaya." The lamb-man put the scones down and sat in another chair across from Kaya. The boys were on the floor between the chairs, while the Odd-Jobs group sat on the couch. They stared mutely at the three small boys.

"If the Queen of Kabukicho finds that her hair's been messed with, there will be vegetable soup to serve." She threatened.

GULP! They immediately put away their weapons, but still held their glare. Clearing his throat, Merry spoke. "I'm Merry, the head servant of this household; welcome to Miss Kaya's mansion."

"Ah. Thank you very much for having us on such short notice." Shinpachi stood and bowed politely.

"It's no problem, it's so rare we get visitors that I got excited." Kaya explained. "So what were your names again?"

"Shimura Shinpachi."

"Yato Kagura." The girl raised her hand.

"Sakata Gintoki. Thank you for having us young miss, but those brats have a point. It's dangerous to let strangers into your home, what if we had done something indecent?" Gintoki scolded.

"With the new Navy Base, nothing escapes." Merry sighed. "Honestly, the way the marines police this area is annoying."

"How so?" Shinpachi asked.

"They're extremely harsh on the twosnpeople, and extremely unreasonable when it comes to tax collecting; I'm afraid the whole town's going to go into debt at this rate." The blonde sighed.

Looking boredly, Gintoki turned his attention towards the kids. "So…you three are…?"

"Tamanegi!"

"Ninjin!"

"Piiman!"

"And we're the protectors of Miss Kaya!" They announced. "And the proud members of Captain Ussop's crew!"

"Captain Ussop?" Shinpachi asked.

"Eh. He's a friend of ours that used to live in this village, but he went off to become a Marksman for the pirate crew. They're actually quite famous now!" Kaya smiled brightly.

"Really? Who?" Kagura asked.

"The Strawhat Pirates!" The three children announced.

'Strawhat again, eh?' Gintoki and Shinpachi thought.

"So what brings you lot here? Are you beginning pirates as well?" Merry asked.

"No, we're not pirates at all. We do Odd-Jobs for anyone who can pay us or feed us." Gintoki replied.

"Odd-Jobs?" Kaya repeated.

"Eh."

"What kind of jobs do you do?" She asked.

"Anything really." Gintoki shrugged. "Gardening, reconstruction, renovation, destruction, cooking, security anything really."

"Oh that's perfect! Merry, isn't it great!" She clasped her servant's hands.

"EH?" The six other occupants in the room blinked.

"Sakata-san, would you please be my handyman?" Like any other protagonist in a series, the beautiful smile and eyes of a girl force any hero to say yes.

**The Next Morning**

Shinpachi groaned, wondering what method he was thinking of, would be the most painful way to kill. Once again, his idiotic boss got them into a ridiculous mess just because he couldn't say no to a pretty girl; at least they were getting paid this time. He was working in the garden, Kagura was working on the fence (painting it), and Gintoki was cleaning the gutter (and hanging off from the side). Shinpachi turned to the sound of a door slamming, and Merry walked out with some drinks.

"Here you are. Miss Kaya requested you receive fresh lemonade for your hard work." Merry smiled.

"Ah thanks!" Megane smiled and drank it up.

"Yay! Lemonade!" Kagura took hers in one huge gulp. "SECONDS!"

"Right away!" Merry nodded.

"Kagura-chan, don't be rude." Shinpachi scolded.

Merry turned to Gintoki, who still hung from the roof. "Would you like some as well, Mr. Sakata?"

"Yes, with extra sugar! Just set up the ladder so I can get down!" Gintoki demanded.

"Okay, I got it!" Kagura picked up the latter, and started whacking Gintoki over the head with it a few times.

"Stop! Gah! Kagura! What are you doing?!" The permhead demanded.

"Encouraging you to come down, uh-huh!" Kagura nodded.

"This isn't encouragement its assassination! You're putting an attempt at my life, aren't you?!" Gintoki accused; SLIP! Feeling his fingers ungrip the metal, he crashed into the hedge bushes below.

"Gin-san! I just pruned those!" Megane yelled.

"You're more worried about the plants than me?!" Gintoki yelled.

"Of course he is, Gin-chan; the plants serve a biological function vital to life, while you're about as vital as a dead crumpled leaf on the side of a windshield. No matter how many time the driver has the windshield wipers hit the leaf, it wont' budge despite all this so the driver actually has to pick it himself, because it's too stupid to fall off." Kagura said bluntly.

"How does a crumpled up leaf and a bush relate to each other?! How does that possibly relate in this argument?!" Gintoki demanded.

"Now, now, Miss Kaya's making enough for everyone, so no need for-" Merry was cut-off.

BANG! The group turned to the front gate; they saw the Onion group aiming their weapons at a guy in a suit. The guy in the suit was definitely a government official; his head was covered by a hat, had sunglasses, and was in a three-piece suit. He held a smoking gun at the children; the three Odd-jobs frowned. "Oi, oi, oi, no firearms around children; that's how school shootings occur."

The man looked up towards the group. "Merry-san…Nelson demands to know once again, Miss Kaya's answer to his proposal."

"I-I'm afraid she's still quite ill. She's not capable of act like marriage right now." Merry lied through his teeth. Gintoki observed the man and the official, this didn't look good.

"Very well." The man took note. "She has one week left to recover, if she is not well by then, then the Navy will proceed in taking right of this island. Do not forget that this village is the home of Sogeking Ussop; you're lucky it hasn't been clinched yet."

'Clinched?' Shinpachi thought.

"That is all. Good day." He lifted his hat and left. After he left, the group turned to a loud crashing sound; Kaya had dropped a plate of food in front of her, fear clearly written all over her face.

Gintoki stepped forward. "Oi, let's get inside, they've got eyes on this place. Shinpachi! Kagura!" Shinpachi quickly gathered the three boys, and quickly followed inside; Kagura moved a china cabinet to barricade the door. Once settled inside the kitchen, Gintoki allowed Merry to set the blonde girl down. After a moment, the permhead samurai spoke. "This isn't a handyman job is it?"

"No…I apologize, it's just…you didn't know anything about the turbulent relationship between the Pirates and the Navy, and I had also noticed that you carried a wooden sword. I do not know where you three come from, but it obviously isn't from here. Do you…know about the Marineford War two years ago?" Kaya asked.

"No, but we already got that the Pirates and the Navy are fighting over territory" Shinpachi was cut-off.

"It's not just territory." Merry interrupted. "It used to be about territory, but ever since that damned Marineford War, the World Government's control has been extended beyond proportions. After Strawhat and Fire Fist escaped with Whitebeard and his allies, the Navy and World Government went on a bloody rampage trying to find them; ever since, any area in the world even suspected of associating with pirates has a marine post or World government official stationed. They knocked down houses, killed millions of people, and have recently been tracking down the home-islands of major pirates. They're determined to wipe every bit of the Pirate Dream out. This isn't just about finding Strawhat or Whitebeard, this is about showing the world who the dominant power will always be, despite who wins a war. The Pirate Dream must be exterminated to them."

"Pirate dream?" Gintoki raised a brow.

"Eh. You know, from Gol. D. Roger-san's speech." Kaya explained.

"Sumimasen…we come from a different planet, so we don't know the recent history of this world, so could you please explain?" Shinpachi asked.

"Another planet?!" Merry, Kaya, and the Onion kids exclaimed.

"It's a long story." Shinpachi sighed. "You first please."

"Er…very well. About twenty four years ago, there was a man named Gol. D. Roger, he was king of the pirates, you see. He was the wealthiest and most feared man in the world, and at one point, was a direct threat to the Navy's power." Kaya explained hesitantly.

"Boring! Get to the point, we've heard this already!" Kagura complained.

"Yes! Anyways, when Roger was executed, it was broadcasted for all the world to see; it was meant to put the ambition of pirates to rest once and for all. But what happened was just the opposite." Kaya continued. "Right before he was struck, someone had asked him where his treasure was; he had said that his treasure was for anyone who could find it. This was the start of the Golden Pirate Age."

"OHH!" Kagura said, interested.

"Sugoi. Roger-san sounded like an amazing man." Shinpachi sighed.

"Must've been hella scary to be called 'King of the Pirates'." Gintoki shrugged. "So where do we find this treasure, anyways?"

"Why? You said you weren't pirates." Ninjin pointed out.

"Maybe, but with his money-managing skills; were impoverished enough to employed as decoys." Shinpachi pointed out. "Was there a name he gave his treasure?"

"Yes, it's called 'One Piece' and-"

"What a coincidence! We're looking for a one piece treasure too!" Kagura smiled.

"So that does mean you're pirates then." Merry said.

"NO! It means we're just looking for a one piece treasure, it's probably just a-" Shinpachi was cut-off.

"I knew you guys were pirates!" Piiman aimed his sling-shot.

"Wait! Wait! You don't understand! We don't want it! We're just here to retrieve it for a client!" Shinpachi tried to reason.

"Enough!" Kaya had her lips pursed, she wasn't happy by what she just heard. "I don't care if you're pirates or not but, my best friend is out in the world somewhere with a good man who actually takes this dream seriously, you will not mock it while in my house."

"Hai, we understand." Shinpachi nodded. "But in all honesty, we came to this planet in search of the treasure for the sake of a client. We aren't trying to step on toes here."

"Then please stop talking about it." Merry sighed.

"Fine, fine." Gintoki waved them off. "You're right we are pirates, we're the Odd-Jobs Pirates. Happy? Now what are you actually hiring us to do, lady?"

"As we've said, there's a stranglehold on the island, and at first it wasn't so bad. They collected taxes and nothing more, but now they've cut-off all Den Den Mushi lines, women have been disappearing, it needs to end!" The girl explained.

"When did the change start exactly?" Shinpachi asked.

"About a week ago. It was so sudden; the we're not sure why or what happened; all the men said was that there would be serious changes soon." Kaya explained. "But most recently…"

"That bastard demanded her hand in marriage!" Tamanegi exclaimed. "He said that if she doesn't hand herself over to him in marriage, then he'll just take over the island and force her anyways."

"Hm? What about all this justice-crap that the marines keep spouting?" Kagura pointed out.

"Seems as though they don't apply it to themselves." Gintoki grinned annoyed. "So…we get rid of this guy and his men, you'll pay us, right?"

"No! I don't want you to kill anyone, it's just-"

"If you three somehow manage to drive these brutes off this island, then we'll pay you $30,000,00 beri. What do you say?" Merry asked.

"YES!" Gintoki said instantly. "Let us at that bastard!"

"Here we go again." Kagura and Shinpachi groaned. And soon, plans were being discussed.

"So who's the stiff anyways?" Kagura asked.

"His name is Captain Royale Nelson-san, and he lives in his ship on the docks of the island." Kaya answered, shivering just thinking about him.

"Stupid name." Kagura shrugged, chewing on some sunboku.

"Eh. So what you three do?" Kaya asked.

"Well…you married?" Gintoki asked, earning weird looks from everyone. "Don't look at me like that! It's a legitimate question! You'll see in the next section! Now I need a silver ring and a formal hakama!"

**The Next Day**

The sun rose at Kaya's house, and a different, and sinister man approached the house with an evil gleam in his eye. He was a man of average height, well-built, slanty eyes, red hair, pale skin, and wearing a Navy uniform. He liked his lips in anticipation. He banged on the door of the mansion, Merry answered. "Yes?"

"I am Captain Minchey. I have come today to say that Nelson Royale-sama is fed-up with waiting and demanded to know Miss Kaya's answer today. So-"

"Oh that's already been decided; Miss Kaya's already engaged." Merry cut him off.

"What?" Mincehy repeated in disbelief.

"Yes. It happened yesterday; apparently he was the son of one of the carpenters that worked for the old master of the house, and is a childhood friend of Miss Kaya. He just came yesterday to propose." Merry explained.

"Impossible!" Minchey exclaimed. "Show him to me this instant!"

"Very well." Merry nodded. "Master Sakata…come out please." Out stepped Gintoki, dressed in a formal, black hakama and had a monocle.

"Sakata Gintoki present. Mr Naval Officer, what seems to be the problem?" Gintoki asked.

"YOU'RE THE PROBLEM!" He yelled, but then he smirked. "Actually, engagements or marriages cannot be conducted without the approval of Commodore Nelson Royale, to insure safety and proper procedure of course."

"I see. In that case, I better meet this Royal Nelly-san." The permhead said lazily.

"No. That's Royale Nelson." Minchey corrected.

"Yes, yes, take me to this Royal Nelly, so we can get on with the nuptials." Gintoki stepped out to Minchey was, and started dragging him away.

"WAIT! I still need to conduct a proper inspection, and I have tax collecting duty today!" He protested.

"Nonsense! These people are trapped n this island; it's not like they have anywhere to go." Gintoki pointed out. "Now let's go."

From the house, Shinpachi and Kagura watch Gintoki go off with that man; nodding to each other, they went forward with the next phase of the plan.

**10min Later**

Gintoki followed Minchey for several minutes before reaching a rather large Navy ship. Gintoki observed it carefully before following the captain on. There were about fifty soldiers surrounding the rim of the ship, and formed a clear path towards the center of the ship. Gintoki followed the Navy man forward before stopping shot of a guy, who had his back turned to him in a chair.

"Commodore Nelson Royale, this impudent man wishes to gain permission to marry your sweet Kaya. It appears as though he's a childhood friend." Minchey did a slight bow, and moved aside.

"Really now? Marry that beautiful blossom on this crappy island?" SPIN! Gintoki almost threw up from what he saw. In front of him was an extremely obese man, obese enough to be carried out by a fork-lift; he only wore a coat, had a pilgrim hat, pants stretched out beyond repair, a waving fan, and a large Navy symbol tattooed on his bulbous stomach. His face resembled a bullfrog; with the giant face with swirls on his cheeks, beady eyes, oily black hair, and red lips. The obese man frowned at Gintoki's gawking, and spoke again. "Speak. Who are you and what is your relation to Kaya-chan?"

"Err…I'm her childhood friend…and I wish to take her hand in marriage…and, I'm sorry could you excuse me a moment." Running to the side of the ship, Gintoki puked his guts out. The Navy officers stared at him, sweat-dropping. After a few moments, Gintoki rubbed his mouth and returned. "So yes, Nelly Royale-san, due to my family knowing her family and such, I think we would be a better match than you."

"It's Nelson Royale you imbecile! Now then, tell me your name!" He demanded.

"Sakata Gintoki. Son of a man." Gintoki replied.

"Minchey said you were the son of a carpenter?" The man rose a brow.

"Yes; an adopted son of a carpenter." The permhead clarified. "Good with my hands in every skill known to man, and especially to women. So…can I marry her then?"

"Let me think about it?" Nelson tapped is chin mockingly. "NO! Kaya, like the rest of this island, is mine! Now bow to my feet to beg for forgiveness and leave! You're no longer welcome on Gecko Island!"

"I'm sorry Royal Nelly, I'm from a back-water island called Kabuki Island, and we don't deal with complicated stuff like this. But I promise I will work hard to understand." The permhead replied.

"I'm not asking you to work harder! I'm just want you to stay out of my business!" Nelson was shaking. "And it's Royale Nelson! I'm not going to tell you again!"

"Yes, yes, I'll try to remember. But anyways, what if Kaya doesn't want to marry you? What if she's fallen madly in love with me, like I have her?" The permhead asked calmly.

"Hmph! I couldn't care less." The sudden atmosphere made Gintoki frown. "People lost the freedom of choice two years ago; the pirates may have gained their freedom only to cost everyone else theres. It doesn't matter how minor the island, every bit of territory must be covered! No pirate or revolutionary can escape."

"So it's all out war between the Navy and Pirates huh?" Gintoki concluded. "Elimination without prejudice and stuff like that? Funny, doesn't really seem like you care about any of that stuff."

"You're right. In all honesty, I don't give a damn about justice or the Navy; I'm just a simple man who has needs. And those needs can be met with power." Nelson sipped his wine.

Gintoki hid face below his bangs. "So in other words…you're just using the Navy to get what you want. What do you want with this island? No, what do you really want with Kaya?"

"Simple really. She's a beautiful girl and will be a lovely doll to my collection, but more than that…shean her family are the patrons of this island. I take her, I take the island." He snickered.

"I see then. Just one more question…Kaya-chan mentioned that this sudden change of authority was brought on a week ago. What brought on this sudden course of action?" Gintoki asked.

"HQ didn't say. All they said, was that things were going to change. Don't know, don't care." Nelson shrugged; he raised his hand and his men pointed their weapons at Gintoki. "Any last words, Sakata-san?"

"Nothing really…just advice." Rushing forward at one of men, he swerved his hand around to where he grabbed the buy's sword, and cut him down. Nelson and Minchey just stared in shock at how easily the permhead disarmed him, and took his sword. "When a woman says no, she never means yes."

**Back at Syrup Village**

Kagura and Shinpachi went around town with the kids, gathering people to follow them. They kept running, until finally, they reached their destination the town bank. They ran-sacked the shop, and found the safe. Cracking her knuckles, Kagura stepped forward and punched the steel safe open. "Go crazy everyone! Free money!"

"YAAAAAAAAY!" The people rushed into the safe.

"Kagura-chan…you do realize we essentially created make-shift anarchy right?" Shinpachi said with a sweat-drop.

**Back at the Ship**

"I believe the kids are getting the village's money back. And securing the rights to this island would be my job." He pointed his sword at the fat bastard. "So what's it gonna be?"

"W-Who are you really?! Minchey, do something!" Nelson ordered.

"W-What do you expect me to do?!" Stammered the cowardly man, he turned to the stunned lower marines. "Don't just stand there you fools, kill him!" But none of them men raised their weapons, either too scared or confused. "What is wrong with you?!"

"…Seems like your men are at a crossroads. To follow the road of morality or to follow the road of justice." Gintoki turned to address the marines. "I don't want to fight any of you, but if you try to go after these townspeople, I won't hesitate to cut any of you down."

Dropping their heads, the marines dropped their weapons; one of them spoke. "Sorry sir, but…we can't do this any more. It's wrong. These townspeople haven't done anything, it's just a minor island that just happens to be the home of a Strawhat crew member. It's no one's fault that happened."

"GRRR!" Nelson brought out a golden Den Den Mushi. "You've asked for it, you-"

"That's quite enough." Everyone turned to the new voice; Gintoki sweatdropped while the others saluted. "Don't bother sucking up you damned bastards; the next stop is landing you both in Impel Down."

"V-Vice Captain Momonga! W-What brings you here?!" Minchey stammered.

"Thank you for having the courtesy to broadcast your thoughts to me, it made things very clear about the communication lock on this island." The Vice Admiral growled.

The two bastards turned to Gintoki, who held out a Den Den Mushi triumphantly.

**The Next Day**

After talking it out, Momonga agreed to let the Odd-Jobs group go, despite the actions against him at Thriller Bark; not to mention the townspeople refused to let their heros be hauled off. "I'm not saying thank you, but…you reprimneded quite a blight in the Navy."

"Hai, hai." Gintoki waved him off.

"I catch you on the ocean again, you're going down Odd-Jobs Sakata." With that, Momonga stride away, leading his men, and Nelson and Minchey away in chains.

Kagura stared at Nelson, finally asking the question. "What'd the frog-guy eat, the Ugly-Ugly fruit?"

"Who knows?" Shinpachi shrugged, disgusted with the man himself. "At lest we can finally relax, and-"

"Ah. Thank you Miss Kaya." The trio froze and turned to the familiar voice of Zeff. He collected Kaya's reward money and counted it. "Congratulations. With this money, you only have a week left to work off."

Gintoki twitched before collapsing. "DAMMIT! FOR ONCE, WHY CAN'T I GET PAID!"

**Review please! So at the beginning of the chapter, Umibozu was introduced, and he is Kagura and Kamui's father, as well as the strongest alien hunter in the universe. A joke in Gintama is how he wears a toupee to hide is baldness, but it always falls off, so his nickname in Gintama is 'Baldy'.** **For any questions, comments, or concerns, just review or PM me!**


	12. Where's my damn Parfait!

**Hey guys, here's the next chapter! Not much to say other than that Garp appears, and that they arrive at Cocoyasi village (Nami's home town). So please, read, enjoy, review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One piece or Gintama!**

Sougo sighed as he sailed along the sea; he hitched a ride on a Navy ship awhile ago. He looked at his prisoner boredly. "Oi Clowny, which way'd the China-girl and her companions go?"

"As I said, she was on Long-Ring Long-Island, the last time I saw her! I don't know what happened to her after that!" Buggy cried.

"I see." Sougo sighed, but then noticed something. A man who looked like a bull in shackles, and he was being beaten by a few guys in Navy uniforms. Frowning, he looked at Buggy again. "Oi Clowny…who's the guy who looks like a bull?"

**Elsewhere**

Somewhere on a canoe, Umibozu sailed through the ocean aimlessly. "Huh…wonder where I am. That island underwater looks friendly." He said looking down.

**Marineford**

"I don't like this." Akainu sighed. "But…can't say that we don't need this." Across from him was Kizaru, while Sengoku sat at his desk, filing paperwork.

"Indeed. The anniversary of the war is coming up, as is our deadline…we can't afford to pass up this opportunity." Sengoku sighed. "Are you sure you're satisfied with this trade, Takasugi-san?" He eyed the man warily.

The patchable man smiled as he smoked his pipe. "Perfectly fine. I don't need anything else from this world."

**With Odd-Jobs**

Gintoki twitched in anger as he swapped the main deck, how in the hell could this be?! He actually complete a job, half-way decent without destroying any property, and got paid for it. And he had to watch it get brutally taken away from him by that conniving chef! He saw it over and over in his nightmare! Zeff standing over him, in the flames of hell with red horns and a pitchfork, laughing manically. Shivering at the thought, he scrubbed harder, as if trying to erase the images from his mind.

"OI! Chore man!" Pausing his scrubbing, he turned to Zeff who was smoking a cigarette. "We're closed for the day, so you and your companions can take the day off."

"Seriously? You're not just setting me up for a cruel prank or kill me in my relaxed state of mind, are you?" Gintoki asked.

"Don't be ridiculous." Zeff gruffed. "Killing you wouldn't require any planning."

"Hehe…thanks." Gintoki twitched. "So we're anchoring?"

"No. We're stopping at the Konomi islands for supplies; they have the best coconuts and we use them in our desserts. Then we set up shop and serve the customers." Zeff turned to go inside.

The permhead frowned as he observed the man's behavior. "Oi, old chef…you knew about the whole thing in that other village didn't you?" Zeff didn't answer. "I don't mind helping people, but I expect to get paid. Never rip me or the kiddies off again."

"Hmph! As if your incompetence could do anything!" He walked away, leaving the samurai to his thoughts. Staring at the islands ahead, Gintoki couldn't help but notice the Naval ship and another fancy golden ship, this definitely didn't look good.

**3hrs Later**

They docked at the station, and were immediately greeted by an ugly sight. In front of them was a guy with purple hair, grey skin, a black business suit, and wore the official Navy jacket. He also carried a pet Iguana. He smiled in greeting at Zeff. "Zeff-san, welcome to my Konomi Island resort; it is an honor to have the floating restaurant Baratie here on my dock. Welcome to Cocoyasi village. We hope that you find our items quality, and will be able to cook here."

"Hmph. I can cook anywhere regardless of how dreary it is." Zeff waved him off.

"Of course; how rude of me to underestimate you." He noticed the three newcomers amongst his staff. "New recruits?"

"Idiots paying off a debt; they'll be out by next week." Zeff turned to them. "Earlier if they're lucky."

"I see." He turned his attention to the Odd-Jobs trio. "Well, I am Commander Governor, and I am in charge of the Cocoyasi World Government resort. This resort is designed to allow the hard-working people of the Navy and World Government a place to stay and relax."

"I want free spa-treatment, uh-huh!" Kagura demanded.

"Kagura-chan, we're not guests here." Shinpachi deadpanned.

"Yah, so you got any parfaits here. I haven't had sugar in days, and I feel like I'm dying." Gintoki said. "You might have a lawsuit here if I die, so hurry up and give up the sweets." Gintoki demanded.

"Gin-san…you're a classified mooching case that hides from the world, aren't you?" Shinpachi sweat-dropped.

"It just so happens that my resort specializes in sweets. Parfaits, doughnuts, melon rolls, ice cream, gumis, caramels, you name it. All of your staff is invited Zeff-san, please…don't be bashful." Governor bowed and stepped aside to reveal a very clean-looking town. It had a row of sweet shops that lead to a large marine base, that resembled a classy hotel. "You all will be staying the guest quarters-"

"You can have those three idiots as your delegates, the rest of my men actually have to prepare for the banquet. We don't have time to waste." Zeff turned to head back to his restaurant, and his chefs soon followed; leaving to the village to the Odd-Jobs trio.

"Well I guess that leaves you three, you'll be staying in the guest quarters with the employees Nojiko and Genzo, but for now, please come and enjoy yourself at the Pretty Parfait Café." He pointed to a small-looking restaurant with a parfait sign, advertising its specialty. "You can order as many parfets as you like."

ZZZZZIP! Gintoki was off the café, and was most likely already seated.

"You said the magic words." Kagura replied. "He disappeared. You think he'll vanish out of existence, Shinapchi?"

"Given the right combination of words, Kagura-chan ." Shinpachi replied.

Meanwhile, Gintoki was seated and banging his silverware against the table. "Parfait! Give me a strawberry parfait! I'll die without one!"

"Shut up, you permhead!" A snobbish voice commanded. "Now where was I? Oh yes, you'd receive so much better treatment than this…"

Ears perking up, Gintoki followed the voice and frowned at the discovery. Another Navy official was once again abusing his power; he was in the normal high-ranking jacket, had pale skin, purple hair in a neat pony tail, and a had a sneering smile. He was holding the wrist of a tanned-skin woman with blue hair and blue eyes; she looked to be in her mid-twenties. She was dressed in a blue-plaid mini-skirt maid uniform, an apron attached around her waist. She wore black Mary-janes, had red flower in her hair, and pink lips. She looked disgusted and frustrated, wanting to slap the man. Gintoki frowned, noting the other male customers were smirking at her.

"Please sir, I have other customers to attend to." She pulled her wrist out of his grasp, only for it be grabbed harsher.

"Listen sweetie, I don't think you understand your position." He said in a commanding tone. "I am in charge of this island's territory with Commander Governor, and if I wanted to, I can say that blasted sister of yours came back around, and-"

"As if they'd believe you! You cut-off all our Den Den Mushi!" She slapped him. "I've had enough of you! These pigs! This isn't justice! It's oppression! It's no different than when Arlong was ruling our village! Now get the hell out of our village!"

"My, My…spunky aren't you?!" He raised his hand, but the heroic permhead caught it.

"Oi…don't hit a lady in a parfait shop; it ruins the flavor of the ice cream." He turned to the waitress. "Could I get a Star-glazed Parfait please?"

"S-Sure…" She walked off hastily to fill the order.

Feeling killing-intent, Gintoki turned to the pale Navy officer, who was shaking in rage. "What's up doc?"

"Not my chances with Nojiko-san! That's what's not up!" He yelled. "As a Commodore of the Navy, I demand you tell me your name!"

"Sakata Gintoki, head of Sakata Odd Jobs." Gintoki answered. "And you're lack of class and pick-up lines was melting the flavor of the icecream away in this place; I did what I had to."

"Bastard! How'd you get here?!" He demanded.

"I'm part of that floating restaurant-thingie. I'm being held hostage by a crazy old chef, with a giant hat." The permhead answered.

"Ah! I see…you're with Zeff-san…how stupid of me. I am Commodore Shepard, and I run this island with Commander Governor. This is our confection-specialty resort; the finest candy in the world is produced on this island. You should feel honored to work here." He sneered.

"Ah. So we are the human sacrifices." Gintoki sighed.

"We?" Shepard raised a brow.

"Kagura-chan! Stop slurping so much down! Zeff said he wouldn't cover us! Think of the bill!" Shinpachi exclaimed, watching as Kagura shoveled a giant order of ice cream down her throat.

"It's okay Megane, we can just skip the bill." She shrugged.

"Don't say it like a way of life!" Shinpachi exclaimed.

"Ah. I see." Shepard sweat-dropped "Friends of yours?"

"Yeah. Shinpachi and Kagura, also known as suckers number 2 and 3." Gintoki ran a hand over his face. "So when does the slave labor begin?"

"Tomorrow; I have some workers show you to your quarters first. I want you to take the day to get to know the property, duties, and whatever you need to learn, so no diddling will occur tomorrow. Is that clear?" Shepard asked.

"Crystal." Gintoki mumbled.

"Perfect! Chabo! Nako!" He clapped his hands, and two people appeared. A boy about Kagura's age with brown hair appeared, dressed as a dishwasher; he had a disgruntled expression. The other was an old man who looked like a groundskeeper. "Show these three to their quarters! They'll be staying with Nojiko and Genzo!" They nodded wordlessly. "Wonderful. You two!" Kagura and Shinpachi stopped fighting; stop this nonsense and follow these two to your quarters!"

"Quarters?" Kagura and Shinpachi repeated.

**20min Later**

After confirming that the old chef had indeed left them for dead, the Odd-Jobs trio was less than thrilled. Shinpachi was assigned to be a janitor, Kagura was forced to be a waitress again, and Gintoki was forced to be a waiter. They were in a two bed room house; Kagura was rooming with Nojiko, while the two boys were crammed into a room with an old officer. As Chabo and Nako said their goodbyes, Kagura noticed that the boy was blushing around her; the girl rolled her eyes, as if he could compare with the Sadist. Meanwhile, Gintoki and Shinpachi were trying to get used to their new living quarters with an uptight military bastard. It was a small room with two bedrooms; making the two men realize they'd be forced to share a bed.

"Atent hut!" Shinpachi and gintoki stood straight, allowing themselves to be scrutinized by the scarred man. "I am Officer Genzo, and I am in charge of this room! State your names, occupations, and place of birth!"

Deciding not to step on his toes, Shinpachi went first. "I'm Shimura Shinpachi, Second-in-Command of Yoruzuya Odd-Jobs, and from Kabukicho-"

"Island. We're from Kabukicho Island." Gintoki finished, ignoring Shinpachi's confused look. "Sakata Gintoki, president of Yoruzuya Odd-Jobs, also from Kabukicho Island."

"Kabukicho Island? Never heard of it." Genzo frowned.

"Oh, it's far away! Very far away! Where most people don't know it exists!" Gintoki insisted.

"Past the Grand Line? What's someone from the New World, doing in a place like this?" Genzo questioned further.

"Ano, Genzo-san…we never mentioned the Grand Line or anything like that." Shinpachi nervously replied.

"Where else, would you have come from?!" The officer demanded.

"I don't know, let me get back to you on that…" Going aside with his boss, they started whispering to each other. "Gin-san! What are you doing?! We can't just go making up islands!"

"We don't have a choice! No one's believing that we're from a different planet, so we have to make something up!" Gintoki insisted.

"By making up islands?!" Shinpachi hissed.

"Oh sure Megane! Blame me for my brilliance, no: oh thank you Gin-san for your amazing idea that will inevitably save us!" Gintoki hissed.

"You've never had a good idea. Your idea will inevitably bring imminent doom upon us." Shinpachi sighed.

"What are you imbeciles talking about?!" Genzo demanded.

"Nothing, nothing, just wondering how we'll not suffocate in here." The permhead reassured.

"Be grateful we even have a room at all…" The scarred man sighed, and went to his bed. "We've been purged from our homes, and have been forced to become laborers just to stay on this island. If we don't work, we'll get deported to Impel Down."

"Impel Down? What's that, a ship?" Gintoki asked.

"No! You idiot! It's the most heavily guarded prison in the world!" Genzo screeched but then sighed. "So what are you guys anyways? Pirates or something?"

"No, we're just looking for a One Piece treasure, called the-"

"Idiot! That means you are pirates!" Genzo yelled at them. "What's a bunch rookie pirates doing with old man Zeff anyways?!"

"We came around his ship, and my idiot adopted daughter forced us into labor to pay off a giant bird she freed. He was going to cook it up, but Kagura released it, so now…" Gintoki explained.

"We're slave laborers aboard that hellish restaurant." Shinpachi finished.

"Adopted daughter? There's another one with you?" Genzo asked.

"Eh. She's in the other room." He siged.

"Geez, I guess that means Nojiko's getting a roommate too." Genzo replied. "She hasn't shared a room with anyone since Nami, so I hope she won't mind.

"Nami?" Gintoki repeated.

"She's a girl that lived on this island once, but followed Monkey D. Luffy to become a pirate; she's currently their navigator." Genzo explained.

The permhead sighed, sensing this was coming. "Let me guess…the Strawhat crew, right?"

"Yeah. How'd you know?" Genzo asked.

"Just a hunch." Gintoki replied. "Ever since we got here, we've been running into every single origin place of that crew."

"…I see." The officer decided not to ask. "…We should sleep. We've got to get up bright and early tomorrow."

"Ah." Gintoki and Shinpachi climbed into their own bed as well. "Ne, Genzo-san…how are you and the rest of the civilians dealing with the oppression?"

"…Believe it or not, this had happened before. But unlike last time, no one's going to save us." Genzo sighed.

**The Next Day**

The Odd-Jobs trio were forced into physical labor again, but this time it was on land. They were in the Cocoyasi' City Hall, and were currently helping Zeff and his staff prepare for a banquet. Apparently some very important guest was coming. The Odd-Jobs trio didn't care, they just wanted their suffering to end; Shinpachi was vacuuming, Kagura was setting tables, and Gintoki was sweeping outside.

"Let's go people! I want this place in tip-top shape!" Governor clapped his hands together, he went over to Kagura's table and scrutinized the silverware. "Honestly, I hate backwater island people for this reason- this is how you set the silverware." He flipped the positions of the silverware to the formal style, and showed them to Kagura. "Now redo all the ones you setup, I don't want our guest to feel insulted."

"You do it. The silverware's going to end up dirty and mismatched anyways." Kagura shrugged.

"You fool! The aftermath of the meal doesn't matter! It's the initial first-impression that counts! Appearance is everything when making a first impression!" Governer explained.

"Oh I get it! Like the impression you're making as a washed-up-sorry-ass-antagonist!" Kagura pointed proudly at him.

"Washed up…sorry ass…" The man trembled.

"Yeah! You're even less original than the times Gintama ripped-off Star Wars!" Kagura continued. "Even our Dark Vader rip-offs had more originality than you!"

"Why you!" He was about use a whip on the girl, but Shepard stopped him.

"Relax Governor, you can punish the servants later, but this guest likes it when equality is featured, so we'll have to refrain until after the banquet." Shepard explained. "However…" His eyes shifted to Shinpachi. "That doesn't mean we can't make the lives of them difficult." Walking over to the boy, he put his foot on the loud machine, causing the boy to pause in his actions. "You're going too slow, pick up the pace, or we'll deduct it from your debt in Zeff's crew."

"Yes sir." Shinpachi glared. Smirking in satisfaction, Shepard left with Governor following him. Continuing his vacuuming, he stopped when he felt his boos nudge him.

"Oi. Let's grab Kagura and get out of here. These floating chefs are too busy worrying about this banquet, so now's out chance!" He insisted.

"But Gin-san…what about the islanders?" Shinpachi looked at Genzo and Nojiko, who were also setting up for the event.

"What about them?" The permhead frowned.

"It's just…at the previous places…we-"

"It was a matter of circumstance, nothing more." Gintoki cut him off. "This isn't our world, so these aren't our problems. We just happened to help those people by circumstance. It's not the alien invaders' job to solve the planet's problems."

Shinpachi frowned, as much as he hated to admit it, Gintoki was right. This wasn't their planet, and at the rate this was going, they were going to become major characters in the plot in fixing this place. "Fine Gin-san."

"Great! Now let's find-"

"What are you doing?! This is the starter set!" Gintoki and Shinpachi froze and slowly turned to what they fear was happening- there was Kagura eating up the tray of starters and erdourvs. "Stop eating! This is for the guest!"

"Slave labor is harsh. We do all this work for no pay, and you slave owners expect us to be as strong as oxes and carry out on our backs of day-to-day work." Kagura said while eating.

"What do you mean slave labor?! You skipped breakfast didn't you?! What you said made no sense! You're not a slave! Just someone who wants better quality food!" The waiter yelled.

"Thank you for your patronage, you've been most kind." Kagura replied, eating some hot wings.

"This isn't a charity case!" Kagura then sat down at the table where the food was being placed out. "Oi! What are you doing?! That's for the guest and the Commanders only!"

"I'm not sure! All I know is that it's nice to have short five minute breaks during long-hard days." Kagura replied.

"Nice my ass! Hurry up and get back to work!" The waiter yelled.

Gintoki and Shinpachi had darkened expressions on, both stalked over to Kagura. "Sorry guys, no room for chore boys."

"Chore boys?! Oh that's rich! You should be demoted to chore-boy you over-eager moocher!" Shinpachi yelled. "Let's get out of here, before we actually owe these people money!"

"No! I want more food!" Kagura banged her silverware on the table.

"Stop acting like a spoiled child, and let's go!" Gintoki started pulling on her too.

"EAT HAGGAS BASTARDS!" SMASH! She smashed their faces into a couple of meat pies on the side of her, and held them there. "I'm hungry, and we're staying!" The two mean struggled under the girl's immense strength, while the waiter and the rest of the staff just stared stupidly at the events unfolding. All turned when they heard the doors to the main hall open.

"Yes, it's an honor to have you here-" Governor cut himself off along with Shepard, as they and their guest stared at the scene in front of them. In front of them was destroyed silverware, devoured appetizers, and face-implanted first courses. After a few moments, he finally spoke. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Huh?" The Odd-Jobs trip paused their bickering and looked up to the entrance. They recognized the horrified and furious looks of Shepard and Governor, but they didn't recognize the guest with them. He was an old man with a circular scar on the right side of his left eye, tan skin, white hair, very broad and tall, and wearing a navy-blue suit with a marine symbol. The old man stared at them curiously, before waiting for his hosts to continue.

"You three are in so much trouble! Fired doesn't even begin to describe it! No! You're sunk! Buried! Dead! Six Feet Under!" Shepard yelled.

"We get it just stop with corny sitcom references, uh-huh!" Kagura frowned.

"Sorry, but I'm afraid we'll just cause more trouble if we stay, so…" Shinpachi bowed slightly.

"It's best for your investments of time and finance to just let us go." Gintoki finished. "See you-"

"HOLD IT!" The guest spoke in a very rough voice, emphasizing his age. "I haven't seen table manners that gross since my grandsons childhood! This means they'll make fine marines!"

"Err…Vice Admiral-" Shepard tried.

"NOPE!" The old man interrupted him. "I'm retired for one thing, so don't call me Vice Admiral! As you can tell, I didn't wear my uniform, and it will stay that way until I'm buried in it! Secondly, I always like getting to know the new recruits, so they'll be dining with us!"

"If you're sure…" Governor said uncomfortably and forced a smile at the Odd-Jobs group. "Please…enjoy your meal along with our honored guest."

"Err...thanks." Shinpachi sweat-dropped at Gintoki and Kagura just sitting down. He turned back to the guest and bowed politely. "Thank you very much for inviting us to your banquet, but I have to ssay we aren't new recruits."

PAT! Shinpachi was forced into his seat by a firm pat by the stranger. "Maybe not now, but you will be after this!"

"Err…I don't think you can decide someone's future like that-" Megane was cut-off.

"I can see it now! You three becoming strong marines, to hunt down pirate scum! HAHAHA!" The guest laughed merrily.

"Ah yeah…" Shinpachi decided to just roll with for now, seeing as how they were getting a free meal out of this. "My name is Shimura Shinpachi, and they are Sakata Gintoki and Yato Kagura. We're called Yorzuya Odd-Jobs; what's your name?"

"Ah! My name is Monkey D. Garp! Retired Hero of the Navy!" Garp the Fist had returned!

**Review please! Next chapter, the plot thickens even further, so stay tuned in for next week. Later!**


	13. Who actually likes Family Reunions?

**Hey gusy, another week, another update! So in this chapter, a fair amount of stuff happens, so pay attention. The plot starts finally making sense, and Odd-Jobs is heading to Dawn Island after this. Also, Sougo meets up with CP9. Read, enjoy, review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama  
**

"So, now that we're all comfortable, let's talk about why we're here." He frowned at the Odd-Jobs trio, who just continued to dig into their food like no-tomorrow.

"HAHAHA! Don't worry about them! They're future marines after all!" Garp laughed.

"If you insist…" Shepard frowned and continued. "Vice Admiral Garp, it's been two years since the great Marineford War; both the Navy and the Pirates had suffered tremendous losses, and just now both sides have started to recover. But the Navy is still in its disarray of chaos within rank and membership, so we need our veterans to stand up once again-"

"Four criminals." Garp interrupted.

"What?" Repeated Shepard.

"Four criminals were released by Blackbeard from Impel Down during the great war, due to the lack of manpower guarding the place. Had the Navy and World Government handled itself respectfully, we wouldn't have four dangerous criminals loose, but the world government wouldn't need to cover its ass." Garp continued. "Also…I haven't forgiven myself for what happened in the Marineford War. My grandsons are finally strong enough-"

"Exactly. The pirates are regrouping and getting stronger, with the new generation ready to replace the current one at any time." Governor interrupted. "Personally, I don't care what your blood ties are to the pirates or revolutionaries; that doesn't change who you are to the Navy, as well as your obligations to Absolute Justice."

"My obligations were completed when I betrayed my grandson." Garp replied.

"No. Absolute Justice dictates a marine's life the moment he signs up till the day he dies. You're a hero to everyone in the Navy, Vice Admiral. Please don't forget that." Governor replied.

"…Even so…I cannot take up your offer." Garp sighed. "I retired two years ago, and I intend to stay that way."

"I see." Governor sighed. "Well, we didn't want to have to do this. But you leave us no choice." He check on the Odd-Jobs group, seeing as how they were so immersed in their meal, he continued.

The Odd-Jobs trio, on the other hand, had picked up on the change of atmosphere and tuned into the conversation. Listening in, they heard Shepard start speaking. "We understand that a resident on your home island is well-acquainted with Red-Haired Shanks."

Loudly putting down his silverware, Garp replied. "He's the bastard who corrupted my grandson; I the only acquaintance desire I have is for my fist to meet him."

"I see…then you won't mind if we explain to the Fleet Admiral about his lover." Garp tensed at this. "We heard she just gave birth to a strong, healthy boy; send Red-Haired our congratulations."

"Hmph! The sea water's gone to your brain! Red-Haired hasn't been around my island in years!" Garp proclaimed.

"I see…how long did it take you to go back to your home island?" Shepard smirked.

"About a year after the war, why?" Garp raised a brow.

"So the young girl was left all by her lonesome for a year, while she got along well with that Red-Haired?" The pale man sneered. "We all know that Red-Haired went back to Dawn Island to protect it from pirate invasions before you worked up the courage to face everyone there. And we also know by now, that Red-Haired had contributed raising your grandson with this woman until you took him into the mountains. With how long you were gone, I can only imagine when Red-Haired became smitten with this woman."

"Where exactly is this going?" Garp growled.

"It's simple really." Governer pulled out a folder and handed it to Garp. The old man opened it, and his eyes widened slightly at what they saw. "We know that you allowed Red-Haired to pass in order to see the child, and even allowed him to stay long-enough to make sure his woman was all right. These pictures and geographical recordings prove his relationship to this woman, Makino-san, was it? Also, we're aware that Red-Haired is on the island, and you're merely covering for him for the sake of the mother and child. The Fleet Admiral has been generous in shielding you, but with the new developments blooming, he was forced to give you up."

"You people…" Garp clutched the folder. "What is it exactly you want?"

"Now that we have your cooperation, we'll explain." Governer petted his Iguana. "You see, we're merging with this organization that is working with a police force of some sort. This organization has weapons and technology beyond anything we've ever seen; due to the recovery-stage of the Pirates, we must act now. Trafalgar Law was disbanded as a Shichibukai for this; the project is only for veterans and the people the Navy can truly trust."

"So basically the plan is to reinstate the war." Garp sighed. "The Navy really plans to hunt down pirates with these?"

"That's the plan. Martial Law has been declared, so this is merely another step." Governer explained. "You may take that folder to Red-Haired, we already have our copy in the vault. Make sure he gets the point- which is simple."

"Cooperate, and no harm will come to the woman or the child." Shepard smirked, and continued eating. "Now that the unpleasantness is complete, let's continue this meal."

"Indeed." Governer continued and started eating as well. While the two bastards enjoyed stuffing their faces, Garp and the Odd-Jobs trio just stared at their food; that whole conversation was nauseating.

**3hrs Later**

At this point, Gintoki knew it was inevitable they were going to get involved in whatever was going on, and regardless if they didn't, Gintoki couldn't let what those bastards said pass. A child deserves to be raised in peace. He was staring out in the docks form the restaurant, having shirked his cleaning duties. Shinpachi and Kagura were out gathering the information they could out of the villagers. "A nice night out isn't it?" Turning to voice, Gintoki noticed it was Garp.

"Ah. Where I come from, you don't get to witness the sea and stars together much." The permhead shrugged.

"Really? You're from an island, aren't yah?" Garp asked.

"Yeah. Kabukicho Island; it's far, far in the Grand Line, where no one's ever dared gone before." The permhead said semi-sarcastically.

"Okay, I won't ask where you're from." Garp sighed. "Thanks for taking the news with me, I kind of had a feeling of what was coming."

"And this is also yours and Crazy Chef-san's way of collaborating with each other." Gintoki sighed. "That is why you agreed to come to this, right? You knew you were being called out here to take up active duty due to this weird merger happening with the Navy, and that crazy old man told you about what me and kids did back on the last island."

"Can't deny you sounded interesting." Garp shrugged.

"Ah. Got to say that I'm surprised though, you don't sound like you like the Red-Haired guy." Gintoki observed.

"Can't say I'm too fond of him but…he's the closest thing to a father my grandson has ever had…he fell in love the with the emerald of my island, and…he's now a father. A baby actually came into this world because of him, and the mother couldn't be happier. I already let one man down, I can't live with myself if I do it again." Garp sighed.

"So you want me to get these guys off the island and that info packet right?" The permhead clarified. "How do you know it's the only one?"

"Hmph! These idiots are horrible at research, the only reason why they got a hold of that information is because they broke into Donflamingo's vault!" The old man explained. "And he's got men everywhere."

It took the samurai a minute to comprehend the situation. "…I see. This bastard attacked your island awhile ago, and tried to take that woman and child, and this Red-Haired guy got into a nasty fight with him."

"Ah. Red-Haired's recovering, but he had his gut split open, so he's been on bed-rest with Makino." Garp explained. "His crew's been there helping him, but it's been a month since the attack, and six months since the baby's been born. I thought I had covered all the intelligence networks with his crew, but apparently I ad missed some."

"Hn. So if you hate pirates, why you helping this guy?" Gintoki asked.

Garp was silent for a moment. "Let's just say…I've had to do this before. But unlike last time, I won't make the mistake of choosing duty over family." The samurai didn't ask, it wasn't his business.

"Okay. So how much is the pay?" The samurai scratched his head.

"All the rum you can drink! My treat!" Garp proclaimed, patting Gintoki's shoulder.

"I want 10lbs worth strawberry parfaits, steaks, and curry as payment. Nothing else." Gintoki said bluntly.

"It's a deal! When will you start?" The old sea dog asked.

"Tomorrow night. The kids are still collecting Intel." Gintoki waved it off.

**The Next Day**

It was chaos. Cocoyasi awoke in a start, marines were running around, and bodies were falling left and right. Gintoki and Shinpachi awoke with a start a window crashed in Genzo and Nojiko's house. Quickly dressing themselves, the Odd-Jobs trio rushed outside to face whatever was happening.

"W-Who did this?!" Nojiko grabbed her face, and stared in horror. Bodies of marines were scattered across the island, some ad trauma injuries while the others had slash-marks. Gintoki narrowed his eyes, those weren't the marks of an amateur.

"GAAH!" Looking up, the group followed the screams up until they reached City Hall; Zeff and Garp stared with equal looks of horror. It had looked like the old men had took a few hits themselves. Gintoki eyed the bloody folder in Garp's hand.

"It's the documetns I wanted, but I sure as hell didn't want them this way." Garp sighed, staring at the City Hall entrance. "We were about to have breakfast, but this crazy man and woman came in out of nowhere on a hovercraft of some kind, and started attacking people. Governer and Shepard were the first on their hit list; after the guy killed them, he handed me the folder and assured me that he didn't go after weak men. The woman said that the World Government no longer needed pety methods like blackmail, and that they'd hunt them down anyways."

"Oi, old man." Kagura's eyes were wide. "Did the guy…look like me at all?"

"As a matter of fact, he did. Why do you-" DASH! Kagura ran passed him, and ran into the banquet hall. She stopped dead-center at what she saw. In front of her was a male about the same age as her boyfriend, blood all over his hands, wearing a black male Chinese outfit; a read parasol at his side. He was eating briskest across from a girl, munching on some doughnuts. Kagura's breath caught in her throat, recognizing the woman immediately. The navy-haired-beauty who had tried to kill her about a year ago.

"Hello Imoto-chan!" The man waved pleasantly; airing his expressionless smile. "I heard you already met Nobume-chan here."

"N-Nii-san! W-What are you doing here?!" Kagura pointed her parasol at him immediately.

"I could ask you the same thing. I didn't you know you and that samurai were apart of this." Kamui replied.

"Apart of what?! What's going on?! Why are you with her?!" Kagura demanded.

"Oh. I got over the novice; your brother is a real man." Nobume said apathetically.

Kagura froze, suddenly feeling nauseous. "…What?"

"That's right! We're what you normal people call an 'item'!" Kamui put air quotes around the word. "Right, Nobume-chan?"

"Just because you say it officially, doesn't increase your chances in bed." She replied.

"True, true." Kamui turned back to his sister, who looked like she was about to barf. "In all seriousness, Imoto-chan…" Kamui's smile widened when he saw Gintoki and Shinpachi enter the room. "What are you doing here?"

"We're here to collect that One Piece treasure that's here! Not that it's your business!" Kagura proclaimed.

BAM! Gintoki bashed her on the head. "Idiot! Don't say things like that so blatantly!" Frowning, he noted the dark-haired woman in recognition. "So I take it you white coats are now with the Harusame."

"Eh. Their cooperation along with the Harusame, is most helpful." Nobume didn't bother lying.

"Imai-san…what's going on? Why are the Mimiwarigumi working with the Harusame?" Shinpachi asked.

"It's a business merger, nothing more." Kamui replied. "This planet just happened to be our first major client; we're all very excited for this first-ever joint project!" He clapped his hands together.

"Joint-project?" Shinpachi asked. "…When did this start?"

"Nobume-chan and the others arrived about two weeks ago, so yeah…that's when the negotiations started." Kamui replied.

"Damn it." Gintoki growled. "So that's what caused the World government to come down on people. Can't say I was expecting you bastards though."

"Us either. Although…this is a pleasant surprise." The male's eyes slitted. "Maybe we'll fight in this world, samurai."

"What was the point of this slaughter?" Shinpachi asked.

"Ah. We were told to kill those two on the ground over there, and these people started getting in our way for some reason." Kamui smiled, gesturing towards the bodies of Shepard and Governer. "Didn't give us a reason, I just wanted to kill."

"Omae…" Kagura growled. "I'm going to beat the shit out of both of you!" Charging forward, she was stopped-short at a blade at her throat. "Move. This is between me and him."

"Yato-san, we meet again. Don't worry, I have no intention of going after Okita as I said. But my superiors will require an explanation. What are you and the rest of Odd-Jobs doing here?" She asked.

"None of your business! Now move!" Kagura growled and swung her umbrella at her, but the older girl dodged.

"Oi, Kamui," Getting out his sword, Gintoki stepped forward. "We'll tell you if you tell us, why are you here?"

"Hmmm…guess that's fair." He smiled at his new lover. "What do you think, Nobu-chan?"

"It's fine. Isaburo-san would find this more entertaining anyways." She shrugged. "The Mimiwarigumi is here on a business merger with the Harusame."

Gintoki narrowed his eyes. "Don't tell me…you bastards are now in league with each other?"

"Yep! And this mission is a test of loyalty!" Kamui proclaimed.

"What does that have to do with you being on this planet?" Shinpachi pointed out.

"Ah! You see…apparently there was some huge war that happened around two years ago or so, and it came to a tie." Kamui started.

"And let me guess. Somewhere around a month or so ago, one of these World Government bastards contacted you, and you set up a deal where you take the remaining threats out, in exchange for a permanent business partnership." Gintoki deduced.

"Ooohhh…you're a lot smarter than you look, Samurai-san!" Kamui clapped his hands together. "But you're right on that one! My associates and I take out the major threats, in exchange for their trust; these devil fruits will be quite the commodity."

"Those that's what you bastards want? The devil fruits?" Garp finally spoke up.

"Ah! Garp-san! Thank you for the fight! You and Zeff-san proved to be more entertaining than I thought." Kamui bit into a turkey leg. "Welp! I'm full! Ready to go, Nobu-chan?"

"If you ever wish to consummate this relationship, refrain from giving me orders." She said bluntly. "And…" After grabbing a few donuts, she stood up. "Yes I am ready."

"Great! See you later Samurai-san! Imoto-chan! Wait! What was it you were here for again?" Kamui asked.

"We're here for that One Piece treasure!" Kagura declared. "And I'll find it and bash it over your head, Nii-san!" She was being held back by Shinpachi at this point.

"Looking forward to it, see you around, Samurai-san. And Garp-san?" Kamui smiled. "I'll tell them, you said no." Without saying another word, he and Nobume left through the hole they made in the wall and left towards a Navy ship anchored a few feet away off a cliff-side.

After an awkward silence, Garp sighed. "You three are coming with me. Obviously, there's a lot of things to discuss. Zeff! I'm taking them off your hands!"

"Tch! They were nothing but trouble anyways!" Zeff huffed.

**Meanwhile**

"Huh? Really? You don't say. Interesting." Sougo looked at the people in front of him with a neutral expression. One was a man with long hair, another was a beautiful blonde woman, a man who look like a bull, another a wolf, and lastly a pointy nose. There were was also a man with long hair trying to commit suicide in the corner. "So this guy named Spandam and his father are trying to kill you and your group for what happened for this Water 7 incident?"

"Yeah. After the whole incident was complete, he started telling everyone the failure was our fault, and soon enough..." The wolf man started.

"We're wanted criminals." Lucci sighed. "We were caught in consequence from the business merger by you other-worldly beings."

"I see. So I help destroy the deal, and you help me find what I want." Sougo smirked.

"And what would that be?" The Cipher Pole 9 group raised a brow.

"Oh. What I want is very simple: help me find my girlfriend." Sougo smiled; his playful mannerism already melting into sadism. This game of cat and mouse was going to be fun.

**Review please! So if you guys have any questions, leave it in the review, or PM me! Later!**


	14. Lots of Ice Cream gives you Brain Freeze

**Hey guys, sorry I missed the update last week; went to Kumoricon and had no internet! So anyways, I want to say, reviews must start coming in again, or I will stop the story. So anyways, in this chapter, Odd-Jobs goes to meet Shanks and Okita fights Bansai. So read, enjoy, review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama or One Piece  
**

"Ano…Garp-san, not that I don't respect the idea of heightened security, but…why are me and my cohorts in shackles?" Gintoki laughed nervously. He, Shinpachi, and Kagura were in shackles of some kind, heading towards Garp's home island on his private marine vessel. Zeff stayed back and allowed them to depart, only to have their prison transfer be completed at the hands of the deranged ex-Vice Admiral. "So…what crazy, horrible, and self-righteous situation are we being placed in this time?"

"Nothing! Just thought I'd introduce you to one of he big sharks of the Grand Line! Red Haired Shanks! You should be honored! You get to see his heir too!" Garp proclaimed.

"So basically…you want us to babysit, huh?" Shinpachi sweat-dropped.

"Poor Red-Haired hasn't been able to have a swig of rum since a blue moon! And poor Makino's been too scared to enter the bar!" Garp wailed.

"That isn't our problem. It isn't our responsibility to promote irresponsible parenting." Kagura said bluntly.

"You're funny, Kagura-girl!" Garp patted her shoulder.

"So…what you're saying is…you're guessing kidnapping in the form of detainment." Shinpachi deduced.

"You'd be shocked at how expensive daycare is!" Garp virtually admitted.

"SO YOU ADMIT IT YOU OLD BASTARD!" The trio yelled.

"GAHAHAHA! To Dawn Island!" Garp proclaimed.

**Elsewhere**

On another island not far off from East Blue, a beautiful blonde girl with twin guns stood looking around impatiently. She wore a pink-kimono midriff and an extremely matching short skirt. Another was a man with a plain-looking face, a carried a sword. Lastly, a man with black-standing hair, sun glasses, wearing a trench coat, sunglasses, combat boots, and pale skin carried a banjo-type guitar. "So…this is Logue Town right?" The blonde asked.

"Eh." The plain ma asked. "Master Shinsuke asked us to entertain ourselves here until he came back from his mission."

"How boring." The black-haired guy strummed. "This place has the beat of giant bongo-drums."

"I wish Shinsuke-sama would hurry up already." She sighed.

Suddenly, they heard some rustling a few feet behind them. "So you sure this is the way to these Komi islands or whatever?" They turned to see a group of about seven people, one of them wore a very familiar police uniform.

"Yes! And would you stop mispronouncing the names?!" A clown pirate-head exclaimed. A headless body walked behind the police officer and small group in shackles. "Why is my head detached from my body?!"

"Simple. This way your body will go back together when I chop you up. This way, my fun never ends." He said in dead-pan voice.

"Okita-san." The man with long hair and pigeon interrupted. "We should be able to catch a charter; it'll take us to an island called Gecko Island. We're getting into the back water of East Blue."

"I see. Thank you Lucci-san." The young man sighed. "China better be ready for me."

"You really care about her, don't you?" The blonde woman with glasses asked.

"Eh. She's my sheath afterall; the only one capable of sealing me." Sougo smiled. "So, next is-" Sougo stopped abruptly when he sensed someone staring, he turned around and found himself face to face with the Kihetai; Takasugi Shinsuke's fraction.

Frowning at the change atmosphere, Lucci steeped beside Sougo. "What's wrong?"

Okita drew his blade, a sadistic smile went to his face. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

The three workers: Bansai, Matako, and Henpeta of the Kihetai terrorist fraction, prepared themselves for battle.

**Dawn Island**

Garp lead the Yoruzuya through the thick forest of Dawn Island. Gintoki groaned, the freaking jungle was hot and humid, and he was sugar-deprived! Kagura and Shinpachi weren't fairing much better; they were both beat and starving, while Shinpachi was sweating like a Shetland pony country fair ride, from the hakama he was wearing. Kagura was just relieved to be out of the sun, and was carrying her parasol casually. "Oi, Blarp-san, are we there yet?"

Garp stopped, causing the latter to fault as well. "What did you call me?" His grin was still on, but something was different about it.

"Blarp-san. It's your name isn't it-" PUNCH! Gintoki was sent flying through a tree.

"It's Garp! And don't think I'll hesitate to use these fists of love that I raised my grandsons with!" He blew on the fist he used, as if he shot a gun. He turned to Shinpachi, who had a pale expression on, while Kagura just stared at him.

"You look like a kid who just reunited with his long-lost relatives, and the relatives are lavishing you with gifts. Please stay away." Shinpachi stepped back.

"Un…you might be interesting to fight, uh-huh." Kagura looked at Garp in interest, this guy was strong, and then she remembered. "How'd you fare against Nii-san?"

"Hmmm? So you're that Kamui-bastard's sister?" Garp asked.

"unfortunately; any kind of reminder is horrible." Kagura sighed. "Tell us where we're going already! The sun's bleeding in through the trees!"

"We're going to an old friend of mine! Who kindly volunteered her shelter and land for that filthy pirate and lovely Makino!" As Garp answered, they came upon a hill. There was an old log cabin at the top, and several people who looked bandits and pirates stood outside. Gintoki frowned; they were doned with guns and swords, as if prepared for a fight. One with long grey hair noticed them approaching and went up to them. "Wait back here, got go clear the path!" The Odd-Jobs trip did as requested, and after several minutes of unheard dialogue, they were allowed up.

**Back at Louge Town**

BANG! Matako fired her twin guns, and hid behind a crate. She cursed her luck at the opponent she was facing; a blonde woman named Kalifa; the crate was soon split in two. She turned to her pedophile partner, who had his hands full with a guy with a long nose and growing hair. Standing up, she faced Kalifa. "Why are you people doing this? We're not your enemy!"

"Perhaps." Kalifa adjusted her glasses. "But we owe Okita-san a debt, and we're obligated to follow him until his prize is found."

"Prize?" Makoto repeated.

"Eh. He's smitten over his girlfriend; apparently she's on the Grand Line somewhere." Kalifa charged forward, using a kick to send the other woman into a wall.

Meanwhile, Henpeta was slicing the hair off Kumadori as best as he could, but was getting overwhelmed. Not to mention, the guy with the long-nose kept trying to run-up his blind side. He looked to see the other Cipher Pole agents, as they called themselves, to side watching. BAM! The hair whipped him beside Matoko; both forced themselves to get up from the ground. That was when the terrorists saw it, the main attraction: Okita vs. Bansai.

The third seat of the Shinsengumi stared down the Second-in-Command of the Kihetai; their presence could only mean one thing: Takasugi Shinsuke was also on this planet. Positioning himself, Sougo smirked. "So what are you bastards, doing here?"

"…Nothing that should concern you Shinsengumi officers." Shrugged the musician. "You're the Shinsemgumi third seat, Okita Sougo; best sword arm in the Shinsengumi and the future Brother-in-law to Kamui-san?"

"Tch. So the Harusame are here too, huh?" Okita narrowed his eyes and got into position. "You're the Kihetai's second in command, Bansai Kawakami; you're death will be my ticket to Hijiakata's position."

"Hn. You have an interesting beat Okita-kun…like…waves on an ocean…smooth and controlled at some times…other times violent, powerful, and out of control. I look forward to see which tempo you'll adopt in this fight." Strumming the chords on his instrument, Okita charged and the battled begun.

**Dawn Island**

Gintoki stared at the scene in front of him, and couldn't stop the smile from emerging. In front of him was a man about his age, maybe a little older, with blood-red hair, three scars over his left eye, and wore typical pirate attire. He was well-built and about Gintoki's height; but…he was injured; his entire abdomen was wrapped in bandages. But that's not what was making him smile; it was the interaction of the two people beside him. The woman next to him, was a beautiful young girl in her late twenties or early thirties, and in her arms…a baby. Shinpachi and Kagura were busy cooing at the baby, and laughing with the parents; Gintoki frowned when he noticed the man wince.

"He got in a fight." Gintoki turned to see a huge, brawny woman with bright orange, curly hair. "I'm Curly Dan Dan; the owner of this establishment. This is the legendary Red-Haired Shanks, and the Dawn Jewel Makino. They've been hiding out for about a day now; the wound's still fresh yah know."

"…With a Vice-Admiral here, I would've thought that the town would be more populated and open." Gintoki replied absently. When they arrived on the island, no one came out to greet them, it was like a ghost town almost.

"Tch! With that maniac on the loose, no one's safe; it's only a matter of time before that bastard comes here." Dan Dan sighed.

"The Navy bastard got a name?" The samurai asked.

"He didn't give us his name, all I know is…he's not form the Navy. And as far as I'm concerned, we're doomed. Red-Haired was bested by this guy pretty badly, though the bastard did get injured. Garp arrived and drove the bastard off." Dan Dan explained. "We're all thinking he's a bounty hunter, but…that's just our guess."

"What'd he look like?" The permhead asked.

"Eh…scrawny fellah, looked like he gave up on life and always carried a pipe. Also…he had bandages wrapped around his left eye." Dan Dan didn't finish her story, Gintoki's expression stunned her.

**Louge Town**

CLANG! Bansai and Okita clashed swords and separated from each other. They dashed at each other again, not caring about collateral damage or anyone that got in their way. The Shinsengumi officer hated to admit it, but he was getting tiered; this man was no amateur and knew exactly what he was doing. And what annoyed Okita even more was…it seemed like this bastard was actually predicting his movement and intercepted them. In fact, Bansai hadn't even flinched or broken a sweat. Okita noticed that he was slightly beat up, his jacket was torn in different areas, and sported a few bruises. While Bansai, hadn't changed in appearance at all since the fight. He strummed his instrument again. "Like a tidal wave, you vanquish whatever is in your path, but…all that power is nothing but destructive with no control."

"You're the last person I want to talk philosophy with." Sougo stood up and positioned himself into a lethal stance. "Kondo-san won't mind if I bring back your body; the second-seat of the Harusame is quite impressive in it of itself."

"Heh…your quite a wicked man. Your mouth's watering like an ocean's foam. I wonder if your tears will turn to glass." SWIPE! Okita jumped back just in time, but ended up crashing into several fruit stands. "impressive. Even in the state you're in, you still dodge my blows. Given two years or so, you truly will be unstoppable, Okita-san."

"I guess that makes you the right of passage then!" CLANG! BANG! Their movements were so fast, that Lucci and the others were having trouble keeping up. Kaku and Jabara watched intently; this boy was faster than Roronora Zoro. The two men clashed heavily, unfortuantly the difference in their skill level and experience was blatantly obvious. While Okita's speed and agility gave him an edge over Bansai's slower movements, he couldn't stop the sneak attacks hidden in that damn banjo. Sougo hissed; those damn string had practically cut though his arms.

Noticing the weakness, Bansai charged forward and jabbed Sougo with the hilt of his sword. Sougo was thrown back and landed in a watermelon stand. Staring at the boy, Bansai turned around and walked towards his group. "Let's go. The boy will be dead soon; his internal organs have been damaged."

"WAIT! TAKE ME WITH YOU!" Buggy ran up to him, desperate to keep up. He did not want to be stuck with CP9 and a weird, dead boy.

**Dawn Island**

After being told the description, he made sure Shinpachi and Kagura didn't hear any of the conversation after that. He asked if any towns full of rich people were on the island, when High Town was mentioned, Gintoki took off for it. Despite Dandan's annoying pestering. "Damn. Baba has a twin."

"It's just a coincidence Gin-san." Shinpachi replied.

"Yeah. Granny Otose's presence is so powerful that it's only natural that her essence would travel to different planets." Kagura replied.

"Don't mention Baba and the word 'essence' in the same sentence ever again; I've seen and heard too many traumatizing sights already." Gintoki groaned. Oh yeah, that old bat told Kagura and Shinpachi their conversation. And now he had to face his greatest enemies with the kiddies to worry about. Sighing at the ultimatum the curly woman had given him, he knew he had no choice; it was the kiddies or Shanks and his angry crew would learn he had a connection to this. Facing Takasugi with two tag-alongs was better than a whole pirate crew breathing down his neck.

"Ne Gin-san…what do you think this place used to be?" Snapping out of his thoughts, Gintoki looked around. He frowned; it was nothing but a bunch of dirt with random patches of burnt scrap-metal on it. From the looks of it, the fire happened quite awhile ago, but why hadn't anything been planted here to replace what had been lost? Seeing some guards ahead, Gintoki frowned at the appearance. Why were they in bio-hazard suits of some sort? The guards tensed as they approached.

"Halt! What is your business here?" One of them asked.

"A friend of mine's waiting for me inside." Gintoki said lamely.

"Yeah right. Does this 'friend' have a name?" The other guard asked sarcastically.

"No nice names, that's for sure." Gintoki snorted. "Oi, just move aside…I'm not in the mood to fight."

"And we're not in the mood to be guarding filth from getting in, in the hot sun, but look where we are." The guard retorted. Both postponed their weapons at the Odd-Jobs trio.

"I see. Tell me, why don't they ever choose the easy way…Shinpachi-kun….Kagura-chan?" He moved aside for them.

"Because their suits don't allow oxygen into their brains, so they decrease in intelligence and devolve to mush." POW! One guard was down from one punch.

"Because they don't understand what demeaning work means until they become a loser perm-head and sumo-wrestler-strength girl's butt-monkey." BANG! The second one was down with just a jab from the hilt.

"So let it be that Odd-Jobs enters High Town!" Gintoki declared.

BANG! "DON'T SAY SUCH STUPID CRAP!"

**Louge Town**

Sougo groaned and tried to sit up, finding that he couldn't. He cursed when he remembered the fight, he immediately looked for his sword.

"Relax." He was about to hit the person, but relaxed when he saw it was Lucci. "You were hurt badly from the fight."

"I see. Did they all get away?" Sougo sighed.

"Eh. We decided to treat your wounds before heading out. Buggy has also abandoned us and joined with that strange group, the Kihetai you said? Who are they?" Lucci asked.

"They're a terrorist group that exist in my group that's essentially dedicated to killing and shitting. Unfortunately they're bastard leader wasn't with them…although…considering I lost…maybe that isn't such a bad thing." Sougo sighed. "Damn I must've lost a lot of blood."

"relatively. Kalifa operated on you, and found your internal organs ruptured; surgery was your only chance." He explained.

"Well I'm here and alive. Tell her I said thanks." The bishonen replied and looked around. "So where are we?"

"Louge Town's hospital. As soon as you're well, we can head out again." Lucci explained.

"Why you helping me?" Sougo narrowed his eyes.

"While it's true that CP9's obligation to you is complete, it seems as though our goals might have a commonality." The fighter explained. "You see, recently we also heard about a man calling himself Takasugi Shinsuke…he's taken over our government and Navy with a bunch of white-coats, and from what I heard from his subordinates while we approached them…he's on Dawn Island."

"How do you know?!" Sougo panicked; that's where Kagura supposedly was.

"Because that's the most likely scenario. All of these smaller and insignificant islands have one thing in common; I'm actually suspicious of your lover's intentions." Lucci explained.

"What are you saying?!" Sougo growled.

"Recently…the World Government declared Martial Law on specific islands, extreme enough to cut-off communication. These islands, as random as they appear, are all homes or recruitment sites of the Strawhat pirates." Lucci explained.

"Strawhat pirates?" Sougo repeated.

"Eh. Dawn Island is the home of Portgas D. Ace & Monkey D. Luffy." Lucci explained. "Monkey D. Luffy is the captain of the Strawhats."

**Dawn Island**

"Ne Gin-chan, can I have ramen here?" Kagura asked, twirling her parasol.

"Sure. When you can afford your own Corvette or when you grow the balls to tell your father about Souji-kun." Gintoki replied.

"That's your problem Gin-chan; you're worried about Papi blaming you for the state of my chastity." Kagura replied bluntly. "You really are trash Gin-chan; old mean aren't allowed to turn themselves into stalkers while they're directly in front of their victims."

"Why are you calling yourself a victim?! How in the world would you be considered a victim?!" Gintoki demanded.

"Gin-san…the rich people are staring at us." Shinpachi groaned. Here he was, in this high-class noble town, and he was stuck a nose-picking permhead and loudmouthed behama teenager. His life couldn't get worse.

"Let them stare Shinpachi…it's our dashing good looks that's attracting them." Gintoki waved it off. Until- CLICK!

Feeling something latch onto his wrist, he looked to see a stupid looking police officer, with several others approaching. "Can I help you?"

"Yes! You three will all have to come with us! This grand city is for nobles only! You three will be confined until release is authorized! How dare you taint this great city!" The guards yelled.

"Ah you're right. Speaking of taint, I would've mentioned before that-ACHOO!" Gintoki sneezed snot right into the cop's face.

"YOU IDIOT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" He demanded.

"Ah, I forgot to mention good officer, I've recently contracted a flesh-eating virus that sperads by snot-contact, so I'd run to the decontamination chamber or whatever if I were you." Gintoki explained.

"FLESH EATING DISEASE?!" The guards exclaimed. "THAT'S HORRIBLE!" Taking their contaminated colleague, they ran off in some unknown destination.

"Okay then,Kagura, Shinpachi…the second five passed cut the lines. The bastard needed to plant the bombs electronically from here. So find the cords and destroy them." He ordered.

"Right!" Without another word, they ran off to do their mission, leaving Gintoki to his reunion. Frowning, he saw a sleazy-looking man in a purple yukata on the Pierre.

Walking up to him, he waited until he was in a few feet from him. "Thought you stopped being into scenery."

"Nothing takes my breath away like a sight before imminent death, Gintoki." He replied. "I was wondering when you'd find me."

"Wondering when? Oi, oi, oi, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were expecting me…Takasugi." Some clouds suddenly blocked out the sun.

**Review please! Again, if reviews don't come in, I'm stopping the story again, so keep um' coming! Thanks! Review or PM!**


	15. Start of something horrible

**Hey guys! Thanks for the recent bump in review, although this week I simply forgot to update it by Friday, my bad! So anyways, the plot's going to thicken a lot by this point, Odd-Jobs will be soon heading to Alabasta, and Sougo will be heading to Drum Island. Also, I got several concerns about power differences (like Shanks vs. Takasugi), and here's how I've decided to handle it.**

**Takasugi and Gitnoki are not afraid to use whatever resource or trick necessary to win a fight, so to me, if major One Piece characters were concerned about something else during the fight (like Shanks with his child), it's not far out to consider a loss. It's not that I think One Piece characters are weak (definitely not!), but I try to take into account just how clever each character is compared to Gintoki and Takasugi, as well as the other Gintama characters being pitted against One Piece characters.**

**Anyways, if you have any other concerns, let me know! Read, review, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama or One Piece**

The wind blew, rustling the kimonos of the two men; the waves crashed against the dock, and the smell of sea water invaded their hair. Smoking his pipe, Takasugi smoked. "Somehow…I'm not surprised. You always were good at sticking that perm of yours into matters at their most delicate stages."

"Talking cliché lines isn't going to get you out of this. What the hell are you doing here, Takasugi?" Gintoki narrowed his eyes.

"I could easily ask you the same thing. We invited the Shinsengumi, not you." He smoked.

"The Shinsengumi? The tax robbers are here?" Gintoki repeated. "Great. That means I have to deal with Gorilla, Mayora, and perverted sadist bastard. Thought I had a few days away from them getting mushy."

"What are you even doing here, Shiroyasa?" He asked.

"Don't call me that, bastard." Gintoki growled. "Now tell me what you're doing here."

"Completing a business transaction, what about you?" The purple man answered.

"Same here actually. Got hired to find a One Piece treasure by the baka prince. You?" Gintoki demanded.

"Tch. You always were to follow legends, I assume you're here for the Pirate's Eye Diamond." Takasugi smirked at Gintoki's reaction. "It's on an island at the start of the Grand Line called Alabasta; the king of that land received it as a gift or another from the Skypians."

"Is that so?" Gintoki frowned when he remembered the two other familiar faces. "If I remember from Souji and Kagura's disgusting confessions of undying love, they said that her bastard bother joined up with you."

"Ah. You ran into him and you're still alive? I guess that means he doesn't consider you worthy to kill yet, not that I blame him." Takasugi puffed and smirked. "So tell me…was his new woman with him?"

Gitnoki pulled out his wooden sword, pointing it straight at Takasugi's throat. "You bastard. You aligned the Harusame and the White-coats with your damned fraction?!"

"Don't act so surprised. It's a recent venture. All three parties have decided that while our interests are in common, we need to do a test of loyalty which is where this universe comes in." Takasugi explained. "You see after the great Marineford war two years ago, as you no-doubt have heard by now, the Navy and World Government have declared Martial Law. The Harusame just landed here one day, the Navy and World Government was introduced to us, and the rest is…history."

"So what are you doing here?" Gintoki demanded. "On this island?!"

"Ah. To prove our loyalty, each party is doing a favor for the Navy to prove our alliance with them. The Mimiwarigumi chose to handle the Warlords, Kamui-san and his assistants are to handle the Yonko, and I am to handle the Revolutionary army." He explained. "Although, the Yonko part was slightly deviated I actually came looking for Monkey D. Dragon on this island, I had no idea the bounty I would come across."

"You made a man choose between his comrades and family. You know I don't put up with that shit Takasugi." Gintoki growled. "What would you idiots possibly have to gain by aligning yourselves with such a pathetic army?"

"Simple- money. In exchange for setting up a three-way purpose conjoined operation base here, we supply the Navy and World Government with weapons. Necessary to wipe out any pirate threat; this storm has been around for two years Gintoki, it's time it reached its climax." Takasugi explained. "The pirates and Revolutionaries will soon be wiped out; regardless if One Piece is real or not, the Pirate dream will be destroyed."

"Don't laugh manically now." Gintoki frowned. "So what do you hope to gain by staying on this island?"

"Oh. I'm just exploring for fun; I heard these nobles allowed a small child to die in a fishing boat in these waters. In this world, exists are people called 'Tenryubito', they're essentially the world's royalty and the facades the World government uses as cover. Due to their supreme 'authority' he shot the small fishing boat to hell with a bazooka. Seems as though this world is no different than the world Shouyo-sensei left behind." SWIPE! Takasugi landed behind Gintoki, a hand above his own sword.

"Shouyo-sensei left it to his students to preserve the world and allow to grow and learn from its own mistakes. I reuse to allow you to destroy that." Gintoki wasn't facing the other man, and he ignored the splintered remnants of the par to the dock Takasuig had stood on. "Now stop pussy-footing around, and tell me what you're here for."

"Well I can't come back empty-handed." Taksugi smirked, drawing his own sword. "While I couldn't bring back the Revolutionary head…how thrilled do you believe my new partners will be when I present Red-Haired's heir to them?"

FLASH! STRIKE! There was no rain, but the lightning was enough to signal Gintoki's rage. "Takasugi…don't make me destroy the entire island."

"Hehe…" Tapping his pipe, he put his sword away. "That's fine; I want Dragon's head, and bringing an infant, regardless of who it's related to, it won't be any personal merit. Besides…Red-Haired was never my target to begin with, and any more time here is a waste." Walking past his former comrade, he stepped into a dingy with a random marine, who seemed to be waiting for him. He was a pale boy, with pink hair with an x-shaped scar. "Take me to next post."

"Hai." The pink haired boy spared one look at Gintoki, before setting the speed boat and setting off.

Gintoki sighed, and turned back towards the twon, seeing Kagura and Shinpachi cut out whatever explosives Takasugi had setup. Looking to the sand on the beach, he frowned when he noticed the technology, they could only have come from one place. Technologically remote or not, he knew Harusame merchandise when he saw it. Running a hand through his perm, Gintoki sighed in agitation. "Damn it. Just how the hell am I supposed to ignore this?!"

**With CP9**

"So that's what's going on, huh?" Sougo sighed. "The Mimiwarigumi has combined with the Harusame, and what's more…that Takasugi-bastard is involved in this little party. Gotta say…I don't like it. When exactly was contact established?"

"About a month ago is to our best estimate. From what we understand, it was just a random encounter by the Harusame…their leader was looking to fight the world's strongest fighter, which in are case is Whitebeard." Kalifa explained.

"So what happened?" The officer asked.

"Whitebeard and the Strawhat crews have been careful to avoid the Navy and World Government forces ever since the war two years ago. Whitebeard had suffered a severe heart hemorrhage, and has been fairly inactive since. Fire Fist had a hole burned through his chest by Admiral Akainu, and Strawhat had received a nasty scar upon his frame. Essentially, Whitebeard is in the process of training his first mate, Marco the Phoenix, to take over his crew after he passes." Kalifa further explained.

"I see. But because neither pirate crew has been spotted in years, the government here was getting antsy and jumped when the opportunity presents itself. Amusing. So what does that have to do with bringing the cronies out of retirement?" Sougo asked.

"After it was determined that Trafalgar Law had had contact with Strawhat recently, he relinquished his status as a Shichbukai, and Crocodile was brought in. After Blackbeard relinquished his title, Gecko Moria had taken his place back. The Shichibukai are too important of roles to trust to amateurs or questionable allies, so the World government made the decision to return the Shichibukai to its former holders." Kalifa explained.

"And it make things clearer…why's this Fleet Admiral Sengoku, out of retirement?" The bishonunen asked.

"Simple. After the war was over, the Navy and World Government panicked and decided that it was best that Sengoku withheld his withdrawal from the Navy. He had wanted to resign due the shame of failure, but dire circumstances had won over morality. Although I'm more disappointed in the World Government's choice of Sengoku-san's successor." Kaku explained.

"Who's the successor?" Okita raised an eyebrow.

"Admiral Akainu…a ruthless upholder of Absolute Justice, the Navy's moral code and the philosophy of the World Government. Akainu believes in totalitarian control, no room for freedom in that mindset." Kaku explained.

"Huh? Sounds like he's compensating for bedroom issues." Sougo shrugged. "You saying there's someone better for the job?"

"Eh. Admiral Aokiji." Lucci spoke up from the corner. He eyed the Shinsngumi officer suspiciously. "You said there are two others who came with you for a conference with the World Government?"

"Yeah. We're supposed to do a merger with them or something." Sougo shrugged.

"Well you should know it's a trap. The plan was to lure you and your comrades here to be killed; then Isaboro-san would take over, and would force the Shinsengumi into a legitimate deal with the Harusame pirates you mentioned." Lucci explained. "The plan was to bump off the current hierarchy, nothing more."

"I see." Sougo frowned, it made sense considering. "So what does that have to do with the merging of worlds per say?"

"The World Government not only gets the weapons, but the Harusame and your other enemies get the Tenryubito's devil fruit stash in exchange, but…they plan to rule both worlds." Sougo's eyes widened at Lucci's words. "That's right, they plan to make Absolute Justice a way of life."

Frowning, Sougo stood up. "Sounds like you got some sort of plan…and I plan to live through this. What do you have in mind?"

"First we need to find tow things: this Odd-Jobs group that came separately from you." Jabra spoke up.

"Obviously." Sougo smirked, hiding his relief. "China would be a huge asset-"

"No. We need to find someone else first." Kalifa argued.

"Who?" Sougo sent a deadly glare at the blonde. Now that he knew the full gravity of the situation, he definitely didn't like the sound of his lover out in these waters without him.

"If this coup' is going to work, we need all the necessary pieces. We need to find the rightful successor, we need to find Admiral Aokiji."

**At Dawn Island**

Gintoki sighed, slurping his Strawberry milk up greedily, man it had been a long day. After finally dismantling all the traps, Odd-Jobs called it a day and went home. Not before pouring horse manure all over everyone's front porches…and perhaps balconies. The point was, the threat was evaded and he could slightly kick back. Now the only problem was…how was he going to deal with a problem as whole? Just what the hell was Takasugi doing here?!

"Hey." Turning around, he saw the infamous Red-Haired captain. The man was still on crutches, but he'd be fine. "The youngins told me what you did for me and my family…thank you."

"Don't mention it; no brat should become spoiled without the bad upbringing os his parents." Gintoki sighed. "I should be apologizing. Takasugi's a bastard, and he really would've done what he had said he'd do any more. You and your men acted quick enough, and for that you're alive."

"So…you know this man?" Shanks clarified. Frowning at the annoyed aura coming from the samurai, Shanks sat down beside him and took out a bottle. "Have a drink with me."

"Why not?" Gintoki shrugged. "Sounds like you and crazy-man Blarp know more than you told me. You can tell me the details after the repetition of the moment ends, but for now, just tell me what I need to do…who do I need to find to stop whatever plot's going on?

"Not that simple mate." Shanks sighed. "The World Government brought in other-wordlies like you. Some even had the nerve to call themselves pirates, I'm sure Garp-san told you that."

"Eh. So we have a bunch of white-coat officers, a terrorist group, and a giant hoard of space pirates. Anything else?" Gintoki sighed.

"None that I can think of. Garp-san said you…might be willing to help. He heard through the Navy network what you've been doing on the East Blue, and we figured you to be part of the resistence. Don't know who hired yah or why, but thanks none the less!" Shanks smiled.

"You don't need to sweet-talk me in a creepy manner, I've already decided to help." Gintoki took a swig of the bottle. "It's not my planet but…I'll be damned if I let Takasugi win."

"Not that simple mate, you have to dismantle the deal he's got with the World Government and Navy. And me and my crew formed a plan with Garp if you're up for it." Shanks offered hopefully.

"Fine. What'll I do?" Gintoki knew there was no getting out of this.

"Okay. First I need to tell you about the Navy itself, there are only several people to pay close attention to, and they're the Fleet Admiral and the two current admirals. The only one you need to worry about is Sengoku's successor." Shanks explained.

"If a guy's named after an era, I can't him seriously, so that won't be a problem. But shouldn't you focus on a way of destabilizing the World government system thingy? Why not aim for the Shichibukai?" Gintoki pointed out.

"Believe me, that comes later. But if you're going to help, we'll have to ask that you keep to our plans accordingly." Shanks frowned.

"And all I wanted to do was find that stinking One Piece treasure! Is that so hard?! Why can't I have simple, straight-forward mission for once?!" Gintoki groaned.

"One Piece?!" Shanks repeated. "You know about One Piece?!"

"Yeah the One Piece treasure; that's why we originally came here to find One Piece." Gintoki explained.

Smirking, Shanks continued. "If that's so…then you'll definitely want to hear this: there's one man you need to focus on, and one man only: Admiral Akainu. The Fleet Admiral's successor."

**On a Cipher Pole Ship**

Sougo sighed as he stared over the railing; Lucci walked over to join him. "We have deciphered the most likely island Aokiji were to be located on."

"And after this, we look for that permhead; my fiancé's with him." Sougo growled in annoyance at the divergence. "So what's the name of the island we're heading to?"

"Drum Island. Conveniently, the nearest winter island on the Grand Line." Lucci answered.

**A Day Later- Dawn Island**

The Odd-Jobs crew woke up bright and early, only wonder if they had all been suffering from hangovers; there was no way that what they were seeing was real. They had slept on the floors of Makino's bar, and had woken up before everyone else, so it was only natural to assume they had drank poisoned liquor somehow. In front of them, was what looked a group of about ten mariachi men, plus a masked wrestler. A pirate ship was behind them with a Mexican Jolly-Roger.

"Gin-san, I think we should go back inside, the beach is scary in this world." Shinpachi whispered.

"Don't be ridiculous, Shinpachi what we're seeing is obviously a head-ache induced illusion. Besides, we're on islands, there's no way what we're seeing is real. Geographically speaking there's no way they could be here or know how to drive a ship.

"Gin-chan, their smiles are creeping me out, let me shoot em' dead, uh-huh!" CLICK! Kagura readied her rifle.

"Don't waste your bullets on illusions, Kagura-chan." Gintoki wlaked up to them. "Oi, who are you?"

_"Helllllllllllooooooooooooo!"_ They sang, making the Odd-Jobs group jump back. _"Welcome! We are the Amigo Pirates!"_

Gintoki stared at them for a minute before turning back to Kagura. "Nevermind Kagura-chan, shoot them dead. Whatever they are, they have obviously risen from hell to make us commit suicide to escape the bad singing."

"Sounds good, uh-huh!" Kagura pointed her umbrella.

"WAIT!" The tallest and most distinguished of the group came out. He was wearing a typical Mexican hat dancer outfit, and wore an obnoxiously large sumbaro. "Please! Allow me to introduce myself, I am Largo, captain of the Amigo pirates. This is my first mate, Corto, and the rest of my crew." He introduced. "We were in the neighborhood, when Vice Admiral Gap gave us a call, he asked if we were heading out towards the Grand Line and we said yes."

"Gin-san, I don't like where this is going." Shinpachi murmured.

"OH YOU'RE HERE!" Garp walked up to the confused group. "Since me or Red-Haired are unable to give you a ride, we diced to arrange something else for your travels! Isn't that right, pirates?"

"YES SIR!" They saluted.

Kagura stared apathetically. "Some pirates; you've been forced to take in some stowaways, at the hands of an insane marine."

"Yeah. Uh Blarp-san…just how far is our destination?" Gintoki had a horrible feeling about this.

"It should take you about a week or two's journey! Don't worry! These guys will keep you plenty entertained!" Garp slapped Gintoki's shoulder.

"Yes! So where to, kind sir?" Largo asked.

"A desert island called Alabasta; you better have sugar on your damned ship." Gintoki twitched.

**Review please! For fair warning, the next two chapters are going to be about Sougo, just because I thought it'd be easier to manage that way. An awesome fight between Sougo and Kamui is coming up, so don't miss it! Again, review or PM me for questions, comments, or concerns!**


	16. Love is scarier than Hate

**Hey guys! So here's the next chapter! Remember, this chapter and the next chapter will be focused on Sougo's journey. I decided to do it that way because the plot was becoming too complicated, and I thought it would be confusing to try to force Odd-Jobs and Sougo's viewpoints in one chapter at this point. So, I decided to split it up. Anyways, Nobume, Kamui, and one other Gintama character will be making an appearance, so read! Read, enjoy, review!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama  
**

A man stared down at the frozen tundra that had recently become his refuge. For the past two years he had been living here, and had accepted that he most likely die in isolation, as he should. He wasn't strong enough in the duel with his former comrade, and he had been lucky to have been spared. Growling, the man returned to his book, taking care to notice the picture of the beautiful white-haired woman with him in a framed picture.

**The Cipher Pole Vessel**

Sougo sighed, and tightened his jacket around his form; he cursed his luck. He here was, caught in the middle of multiple coup de tauts, and China was out fooling around with Odd-Jobs. The young man frowned at the thought of his girlfriend; he hoped she was okay. His mind then wandered to Kondo and Hijikata, wondering what they were up to.

"You really are something, you know that?" Jabra walked up to him. "You took out those three ships with one blow, are you a relative of Dracule Mihawk or something?"

"No." Sougo scoffed. "Whoever this 'Mihawk' person is, he is obviously not as good as me. When will we be docking at this damned island?"

"Tomorrow morning, you should get some rest tonight." Jabra advised, ignoring the boy's comment about a swordsman that could best him blind-folded. "I know you're worried about your lover, but-"

"Jabra-san, I have no parents and my sister had died on me last year; China is my last and only one left. If something happens to her, not only will I kill the mother-fucker who hurt her, but I'll also destroy this world. It was this world, she got hurt in afterall." Sougo said dangerously.

"I see. Man, you're scarier than Aokiji when his woman's brought up." The former cipher agent sighed.

**Meanwhile- Back near Louge Town**

Kondo and Hijikata stared in dismay at the ship wreckage their third seat left behind; in retrospect, they really should've saw this coming. They also had to deal with Spandine and Spandam's report of the events as well- which were complete bullcrap as far as both men were concerned.

"And he just attacked me for no reason! Your subordinate is conspiring with criminals, I tell you! Have these men arrested!" Spandam demanded.

"No." Spandine spoke up. "While one of their men has defected, that doesn't mean they have. There's a chance he'll come back for them, and we need to keep them clean."

"That's not your call." Momonga growled. "This is just great, not only do I have you idiots to watch, but now I just found out that that Odd-Jobs just killed someone!" Kondo and Hijikata frowned at that. "Geez! This day just keeps getting worse!"

"Well, regardless of development, I know this much." Hijikata took a drag from his cigarette. "Sougo wouldn't go with these people without a reason, and that permhead…there had to have been a damned good reason to kill."

"Whatever! You're still on probation!" Spandam stomped off, with his father and Vice Admiral following.

When they were gone, Hijikata allowed his rage to emit. "Kondo-san, when this is over, I request permission to execute Sougo to restore the Shinsengumi's honor."

"No Toshi, I'm sure Sougo has a very good reason." Kondo reassured. "Besides, how could this get worse?" The damaged ship just sunk. "On the other hand, any chance of trust with these people has just sunk with that ship."

"Kondo-san, it had already sailed along with Sougo, when he went to find that China girl." Hijikata sighed, as the mast went down. "Which reminds me…where's the wanted poster publication office?"

**With Sougo and Cipher Pole**

Docking at the Pierre of Drum Island, he and the group of ex-government agents. Looking in front of the town; everything was covered in snow, and seemed to be a typical mountain village. There were a few buildings, some shops, and other living complexes, obviously meant to be shelter. The inhabitants were all wearing heavy winter wear to fight against the obvious cold, and were staring at him and his temporary companions warily. Frowning, Sougo hid the hilt of sword under his Shinsengumi jacket. "So…this is Drum Island?" He turned to Lucci.

"Eh. This is the winter island right before the start of the Grand Line." Lucci explained. "The town we're in is called Big Horn town."

"The town normally this welcoming?" Sougo asked sarcastically. He noted that all the inhabitants seemed to be hiding for some reason.

"This island is the homeland of Tony Tony Chopper, the Strawhat doctor. Due to this fact, this island was placed under Martial Law; anyone resembling a World Government official will probably spook them." Kalifa explained.

"That reminds me, what exactly were you guys disbanded for again?" Okita had received a brief explanation about a failed mission with the Strawhats, involving a woman named Nico Robin, but he knew from their faces there was more to it than that.

"We already gave you our answer. We had failed to elimante Nico Robin and the Strawhats, and Spandam had framed us for the destruction of Enies Lobby. Resignation was our only option." Fukoro explained.

"But it was only the start of this merger campaign that you've been caught?" The young man rose a brow. "I don't care what your intentions are, just know that I'll kill you before you betray me."

"Dually noted." Kalifa responded.

"Good. So where do we find this 'Admiral Aokiji'" Sougo asked anxiously.

"Supposedly he's hiding in Drum Castle, but it's only a guess." Kalifa sighed. "He's been living here since the aftermath of the war two years ago."

"And when we find him and convince him to participate in your little plot, we can move on to Alabasta?" The officer huffed in annoyance.

"Ah. Don't worry…if our calculations are correct, then your girlfriend should be heading from Dawn Island, it'll take them two weeks at best to get to Alabasta. It's only a week's journey for us, so we have plenty of time." Kaku reassured.

"You guys better be right." The younger man twitched. He turned his attention to the village when he noticed someone approach them. He scanned the person with disinterest; it was a large woman in the shape of a bear, wore a red winter Eskimo coat, and had a big smile on her face. She seemed harmless enough. "You the welcoming committee or something?"

"Er, no. My name is Negikuma Maria, and I am an inhabitant of Big Horn village. Are you all members of the World Government? We weren't expecting an inspection for quite some time." The woman asked pleasantly.

"No ma'am, we're not here on official business. We're actually looking for someone." Lucci quickly interjected. Sougo frowned when Lucci failed to correct how he and his group were 'former' World Government employees. Suddenly, Okita tensed as he sensed a projectile coming towards them; he relaxed when Lucci caught the object, revealing it to be a rock. The looked to a boy who looked to be twelve or thirteen, he had tan skin and black eyes, and wore a tan Eskimo coat.

"For the last time- Chopper isn't here! So get out of here, Government-scum!" The boy yelled.

"Tamachibi!" A man pulled the boy behind him, most likely his father. "Don't! They're just doing their jobs!"

"I don't care! All these government-guys do is come in and bully us! It's just like when Wapol was in charge!" He exclaimed and turned to the outsiders. He stalked straight up to Sougo, assuming he was in charge; which was slightly true. "You hear me?! I'm not afraid of you!"

"Congratulations you just passed the invincibility test." Sougo pushed his head back slighthly, knocking the boy to the ground. "Listen. I'm in a bad mood, and I only want one thing here. We're looking for this guy named Aokiji, any of you know him?"

Whispers and murmurs came to life in the crowd. They were stereotypical such as 'who is this?' or 'I haven't heard of him'. Just as Sougo was about to snap, Kalifa spoke up.

"His alternative name is Kuzan. Does that sound more familiar?" Kalifa asked.

"Eh? Kuzan-san?" Tamachibi and his father blinked. "Yeah, we know him actually."

"You do?" Sougo raised a brow.

"Eh." The father directed the group. "My name is Stool, I own a restaurant in the next town over, and that's where Kuzan-san's been residing. He's the bookkeeper for my restaurant. He also chases off bears, rabbits, and other pesky creatures that try to steal my ingredients."

Looking to Lucci, who shrugged, Sougo figured they didn't have any better leads. "Let's go then."

**40min Later**

Aokiji sighed, going over the restaurant payroll like he normally did on Thursdays, although he was getting a bit worried. Stool and his son had been gone for awhile and was wondering if something had happened. After all, all they were doing was running an errand in Big Horn. Hearing the door open, Aokiji sighed in relief and put down his pen. He went towards the entrance. "Araarara, Stool-san it's about time you and your son-" his sentence stopped short when he noticed they weren't alone. He immediately hardened his glare when he saw the Cipher Pole group with them, along with a young man he didn't recognize. "What are you doing here, Lucci?"

"Kuzan. You look well." Lucci sighed. "Do you have a minute? It's important."

"Why should I listen? I've already refused Spandam and Spandine both, and sent them and all their troops packing. What makes you think I'll listen to you?" He demanded.

"Because they're no longer with the World Government, and I won't tolerate any delays." The young man spoke up. Aokiji looked at the man directly in the crimson eyes. "I'm Okita Sougo, third seat of the Shinsengumi, and if anything gets in my way of finding China, then I'll cut you down like the dog-food0corpse you are."

Stunned monetarily, he looked towards the Cipher Pole group. "So you guys were fired." He muttered.

"Eh. May we talk privately?" Kalifa requested.

"Please go to the back." Stool requested. "We don't want a tense scene where customers can see."

**Meanwhile- At Drum Castle**

Dalton hurried towards the castle gates, hearing about all the commotion down at Big Horn village. Kureha was waiting for him at the gate. "Took you long enough."

"Sorry. There was some paperwork that needed filling out." Reasoned the man.

"Whatever. Let's just hurry down and survey the damage; no telling what those government pigs want now." Kureha huffed.

"Actually, I can tell you." Both froze at the unfamiliar voice. Slowly, they turned to a strange couple- a beautiful man and a beautiful woman; one wore a smile and the other a blank face; both had murderous intent. "We're actually looking for two people- a man named Aokiji, and you Dr. Kureha…or should I say…Revolutionary Kureha." The man's smile turned into a manic grin, this couldn't be good.

**Meanwhile Cocoa Weed**

"You came all this way, just try and convince me to take back my position?" Aokiji sighed, sipping some iced tea. "You must be joking."

"We're serious. The time of the coup' is now, and you were set to take Sengoku's place, but the government bumped you off for Akainu. No one else could be Sengoku's successor." Kalifa explained seriously.

"And Akainu proved he was better than me by defeating me in battle, how would that look?" Aokiji countered.

"That you're a coward." Sougo spoke up. "So someone has your position? Does that mean you're just going to run with your tail between your legs? Aren't you going to fight?"

"Fight?" Aokiji glared at the young man. "Akainu and I fought for ten days straight, and the bastard won." He rubbed the back of his head. "I don't deserve to be Fleet Admiral."

"What was the finishing move?" Sougo didn't give up.

"Simple. I'm ice and he's magma; he had the advantage the whole time." He sighed.

"In other news, you didn't want him to burn something." Sougo said unimpressed. "You know, I have a similar problem to you, a mayo-freak has my position when it's rightfully mine. So to claim this, I try my best every single day to kill him; from rocket launchers, to arson, to poison, to-"

"Wait…you try to kill your own comrade?" Aokiji and CP9 looked at the boy strangely.

"Of course. Hijikata-san's a bastard, but he's a useful bastard so Kondo-san has him around. But if I cut-off his legs or arms, then he'd be useless as a fighter, and then grinding him into dogfood-"

"HOW BLACK IS YOUR SOUL?!" They all demanded.

"Doesn't matter. The point is…you really going to let the bastard win after a cheap shot?" The samurai challenged.

"It may have been cheap…but the cost of winning was too great!" He exclaimed. The air was becoming colder, and Sougo noticed that his body was becoming slower and heavier. He then realized that he had not yet fought someone with a devil fruit, and that this man was a very powerful Logia.

"Damn, and here I am without seastone." Sougo groaned.

"Please stop! We can still-"

"KUZAN-SAN!" The little boy's yell cut everyone off. Tamachibi ran into the room, panting. "Kuzan-san! Dalton wants to see you at the castle!"

"He say why?" Aokiji raised a brow.

"No! He just said that it's something important!" The boy answered. At this everyone in the room frowned, as trained warriors, they all knew that didn't sound good.

"Fine. I'm going; you idiots are coming to." He refused to leave potentially dangerous criminals alone with the people kind enough to take him in. As everyone file out of the room, Sougo stopped short when he noticed something on Aokiji's desk, a picture of a beautiful woman white-haired woman and her daughter.

**1 hr Later**

Sougo admired the mushroom transit; it was like a ski lift, just not as safe. He cracked a smile when he remembered the snow-fight that he and Kagura got into. After several minutes, they arrived at their destination. Looking up, the officer saw that it seemed to be the standard snow castle; keeping his hand over his sword he walked forward with Aokiji and the Cipher Pole group. There were several guards in white Eskimo coats, who seemed nervous at their presence. From what Sougo understood, they had right to be; supposedly, Aokiji had one of the most powerful devil fruits on the planet. Approaching the castle, he noted that there was an ordinary looking man win a green Eskimo outfit. The old woman beside him was dressed like a teenager; colorful tight jeans and a flower belly shirt; Sougo cringed at her appearance.

Approaching them, Aokiji went up in front of the group. "I'm here, so what'd yah want Dalton-san?"

"Kuzan-san…I just want you to know that you'll always be apart of the village. And that…we had no choice." The man called, Dalton, said sadly.

"That doesn't sound good." Aokiji sighed and turned to the old woman. "Kureha-san…what's this about?"

"Let's put it this way…we're both in the same boat here, sonny." She sighed.

Sougo was getting annoyed and felt himself become even more uneasy by the situation. "Oi. I'm Okita Sougo and these are the Cipher Pole 9 group; we're in a hurry so what's this about?"

"My, my…you're as impatient as I remember." A new voice spoke, breaking the confidence of anyone there. Sougo slowly turned to look up, and his eyes widened in recognition. On the first-floor balcony was Yato Kamui and Imai Nobume; this couldn't be good. The assailants jumped down to greet their guests; Dalton and Kureha put distance between themselves and them. "Judging by your presence here, I'm assuming you already know about our little alliance, so…might we be friends here?" Kamui asked in his cheerful voice.

"By friends, you mean maim my corpse, right?" Sougo glared, feeling rage at this man. He thought about what he did to China, as well as his intentions now. "So this is your new squeeze, Imai? A space pirate?"

"You sound jealous." The woman commented.

"No. Just pity." Sougo unsheathed his sword and got into an aggressive stance. "So what do you bastards want here?"

"I take it you know these people." Lucci butt-in, hoping to prevent a fight. "With all due respect, why are you here? Are you two affiliated with the World Government or just bounty hunters?"

"I am Yato Kamui, head of the Harusame space pirates! I'm here on a test of loyalty mission!" He clapped his hands together cheerfully.

"And I am Imai Nobume. I came along because I was bored." She shrugged, munching on a doughnut.

"So what exactly is this test of loyalty?" Kalifa clarified.

"Oh! It's wonderful! I came here to force a guy named Aokiji, back into the Navy, and came here to kill Kuraha-san, there." He pointed to the old woman.

"I'm Aokiji. Did Sengoku send you here?" The former admiral growled.

"Yep! He's collecting forces for the second round!" Kamui declared. "Whatever that means!"

"Wait…did Sengoku say those 'exact' words?!" The admiral demanded.

"Yes. Word for word; why?" Nobume answered.

"Tch! That bastard's gone insane!" Aokiji punched the air.

"Regardless. You're under obligation to come with us." The red-eyed woman replied.

"And if I refuse?" He seethed.

"Then cripple you and force you back; we were explicitly ordered not to kill you; you can't imagine how annoyed Kamui and I are at that notion." She answered.

"Yes. As if they're strong enough to order me around." Kamui sneered. "Welp! Tick tock, tick tock! Time's a wasting, and we have more fish to fry. So please kill that old woman and come with us, Aokiji-san."

"Go to hell." Aokiji seethed. "I'm retired; I don't care what you idiots have planned with Sengoku."

"Then…" Kamui cracked his knuckles, Nobume unsheathed her swords.

"You leave us no choice." His girlfriend finished. Both attackers rushed forward at their targets; Kamui went for Aokiji and Nobume went for Kureha; a fist and sword went down-

BANG! CLASH! Kamui and Nobume were thrown back slightly and stared at their opponents. Kamui smirked; the Shinsengumi officer stood in front of Aokiji with his sword in a defensive stance; rage emitted off his body. Nobume, on the other hand, was faced with a man with long hair and pigeon on his shoulder; he had claws like a cat, standing in front of Kureha.

"For better or for worse…." Lucci began.

"We can't let you bastards have your way." Sougo finished. "I don't care about the hag, but these idiots refuse to pass onto the next island without this ice bastard, so he stays with us."

"Quite eager, aren't you little samurai?" Kamui mocked. "What might be your hurry?"

"None of your business, bastard." Sougo growled.

"Oh that's right…" Kamui put on a sadistic smirk and charged forward. He grabbed Sougo by the front of his shirt and threw him in the mushroom lift thing, getting in with the other male. "I saw my sister and her gang recently…I wonder how she's doing since our little 'encounter'."

Sougo's eyes snapped wide, and SWIPE! He and Kamui came crashing down into a random snow village; the sign of Robelle hung limply on the destroyed building. "What'd you do to her?! Tell me!"

"I wonder, I wonder…she was in quite the state when I left. And you know something…" He opened his slanted eyes at the younger man. "She looked delicious in her maid uniform."

SWIPE! Sougo charged again, and another building collapsed. He wasn't letting this bastard get away.

**Drum Castle**

Nobume stared in fair amount of interest at her opponent; she briefly noted that the rest of his posse had moved the targets elsewhere. The man in front of her was in a casual attire; a winter coat and black slacks; yet he had claws like an animal. "So you have one of these 'devil fruits' I assume."

"Eh. I have the Neko-Neko fruit; it allows me to transform into a leopard." He replied.

"Not particularity useful." She replied, charging forward. CLANG! BANG! CLASH! Claws and sword met multiple times, and had eventually moved into the first floor of the castle. She charged forward, Lucci moved aside and kicked her back, sending her into a corridor. "Your quick."

"I'm the top fighter in my group, I have to be." Lucci charged forward once again.

**Robelle Town**

Sougo and Kamui landed several feet apart after another exchange, leaving several destroyed buildings in their wake, but Sougo didn't care. He wanted this bastard to die; for abandoning China when her mother was dying, attacking her in Yoshiwara, and trying to set her up to take the fall for a Harusame crime. Standing up, Sougo whipped his sword angrily. "So I hear you're actually the admiral of the Harusame…that mean you're the top dog now?"

"Eh. It's pretty boring; a lot of paperwork, not a lot of good fights. That's why I came to this planet; I heard that these devil fruits not only enhance physical capability, but also give the wielder a specific power. Doesn't that sound wonderful?" Kamui smiled.

"Must be disappointed by the glaring weaknesses." Sougo replied.

"That is disappointing, which is why I'm in a hurry as well; I'm after Whitebeard…he's the world's strongest man, and I refuse to pass up an opportunity at a possible good fight." Kamui positioned himself. "Out of my way, little samurai."

"Only when you bow your head for me, meathead!" Sougo yelled. And charged forward; after dodging a few of his slices, Kamui sent a strong kick to the boy, sending him back to some broken wood. Sougo got up, only to somersault forward, to avoid Kamui's deadly kick. Sougo sprang up and cut Kamui as he charged forward; Kamui jumped back in surprise, noting his shirt had been cut.

"Huh? Nobume-chan mentioned that you were strong, I'm pleased to say she wasn't exaggerating. Imoto-chan found herself a strong lover. Tell me…do you plan to marry my sister?" Kamui asked pleasantly.

"What difference does it make to you?" Sougo demanded.

"I was just thinking…if I were to kill my sister's 'special someone', would that make her any stronger?" Kamui answered.

"China's strong already; she doesn't need a weakling like you to drag her down." Sougo growled, charging forward, only to be punched back harshly by Kamui. The boy noted there was an actual hint of anger in his fist this time.

"I'm sorry…did you just call me weak?" Kamui asked quietly.

Getting to his feet, sword supporting his weight, Sougo continued. "You didn't abandon your sister and mother because you wanted to get stronger, you abandoned them because you didn't want to watch your ailing mother die, like the run-out you are. You saw your dad using that damned excuse every time he left, and after he beat you, you couldn't take it anymore. I know the truth on what happened that day…you tried to kill China, and Umibozu-san stopped you. Had it been me, I would've sliced your head clean off and setup it up above my fireplace."

"Hmm…I didn't think Imoto would remember that, so what's your point?" Kamui asked.

"My point is, anyone who's strong enough to grant mercy on a killer, as well as stay by a loved one's side as their dying, can't be considered weak." He clutched his sword tighter when he thought of Mitsuba. "You couldn't watch your mother die, you were too much of a wuss; China's always been stronger than you; suck on your dick thinking about that."

His smirk turned from annoyance to deadly. "Well now…can't leave that unchallenged." Charging forward, the Yato's assaults began. JAB! PUNCH! BANG! POW! KICK! Sougo was sent into another building, a barber shop of some kind. Kamui approached the lax form, smirking at the blood and bruised figure. Picking up Sougo by his hair, raising him to his eye level, Kamui spoke. "You see little samurai, I knew you couldn't back up what you said…but I can't let things like that go. Just what kind of message would it send to Imoto-chan? She might think I have mercy."

PIERCE! Kamui frowned when he felt a sharp pain in his stomach, but the sword was was the ground several feet away, so what weapon had the samurai used? Looking down at his stomach, his eyes widened his surprise- the young samurai had used a shaving knife to pierce his stomach. SWIPE! Blood spurted, as Sougo swung the weapon out. Taking advantage of Kamui's shock, Sougo twisted himself free and grabbed some shaving cream- he sprayed some into Kamui's eyes.

"GAH!" Kamui thrashed, as the foam burned his eyes. Sougo took his chance and started using the shaving blade to cut up Kamui's body and clothes, until finally…sending the man away with a powerful kick. Smirking, Sougo went to pick up his sword from the rubble, ignoring the frightened barber and his customer. CLUTCH! All his movements ceased when he felt a hand grab his head. "You're amusing little samurai…but now you've made me mad; how can I appreciate the sight of blood when my sight's temporarily damaged. Oh well…I'll just feel your blood and guts, and savor it between my fingers, while imagining…the look of horror on your face as your life ends." He put pressure on the younger boy's head, feeling pleased at the feeling and smell of the familiar liquid. "Goodby, little samurai."

BBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

**Drum Castle**

Nobume and Lucci ran through the corridors, in the mist of claws and sword strikes. Nobume's outfit was slightly ripped, but only slightly; while Lucci sported quite a few other scratches. It was clear neither was fighting the other seriously; the snow fell in the center of the castle like always. "This fight is tedious, shall we become more serious?"

"Agreed." Lucci nodded. "I hesitated in transforming because the fight ends too quickly, and becomes to easy. You on the other hand, look like you can take it."

"I tied with Yato Kamui, you will be no challenge." She waited for Lucci to transform, and without holding, back she charged forward.

**Robelle Village**

Kamui frowned in annoyance at the man in front of him. He ignored the barely-conscious form of Okita Sougo, draped over his opponent's shoulder, and focused entirely on the man in front of him. "Been awhile, hasn't it?"

"Eh, it has." The mysterious man, placed Sougo in a barber's chair, and readied his umbrella. "Can't say I haven't been looking forward to this."

"Oh. I can…" Kamui took his umbrella off his back and readied it as well. "I can easily say I've been looking forward to this, father." Kamui smirked; forget that damned ice admiral- another Yato is here; this couldn't be better!

**Review please! So yeah, Umibozu showed up and saved Sougo. For anyone that's going to complain about this, I had actually had my heart set on this idea from the get-go. I wanted Sougo and Kamui to have an intense fight scene, and as much as I want to see Sougo win, he simply can't beat Kamui yet. It's just not feasible at the moment. So, I thought the inevitable confrontation of father-son would happen to save him. Stay tuned for the next chapter! Review or Pm if questions, comments, or concerns rise.**


	17. Grudge Match of Doom

**Hey everyone! Thanks again for the reviews, I'm hoping you'll like this chapter just as much! For this chapter, some parts are fairly confusing, so please send a PM or leave a review for clarification. This is the second half of Sougo's sojourn and I hope you like it. Also, in this fic I made Akainu much more evil than he already is, so yeah! So read, enjoy, review!****  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama  
**

Umibozu sighed as he looked at his son, ready for murder; both of their Yato blood was pumped, and it would be a miracle if this winter island survived this collision. "So Kamui…any particular reason you're in this universe, or bludgeoning this young man to death?"

"Well father, you'll be interested to know that he's Imoto-chan's lover." Kamui smiled.

"WHAT?! And I saved that bastard's life?! Why didn't you tell me?! I would've let you kill him!" Umibozu exclaimed.

"Don't be so ecchi father, I have a lover as well." Kamui added.

"Really? She hot? I taught you how to find the ones good in bed, right?" Umibozu asked.

"First of all, Hosen-sensei was more help than you ever were in that department, and secondly…please don't annoy me with your double-standard ways." Kamui sighed again. "Anyways, I'm actually here on a business merger for the Harusame, what are you doing here?"

"I'm here because my spaceship crash-landed; I collided with this idiot named Sakamoto, he was doing wheelies in space! Idiot crashed straight through my ship, and I ended up here!" The older man explained. "So…we doing this?"

"There's no getting out of it." With that, both men charged forward and clashed their umbrellas in a climatic bang!

**Drum Castle**

Lucci was panting, for once in his life, he actually felt overwhelmed by an opponent…quickly! No one, other than Strawhat, was able to fight him at this form; but this woman in front of him had barely broken a sweat. He jumped away as she sliced away another pillar. They had collapsed three floors in the castle, and Lucci could only hope that Aokiji and Kureha were all right. If any of them died here, then there cause would be for nothing! Smirking, he noted that Nobume was flying at him at an odd angle; using this to his advantage- he redirected his weight to dodge Nobume and sent the woman a giant kick into the floor below. He stared at her form from the upper level, and jumped down to her body.

Nobume took her chance and sliced at the Leopard-man; Lucci saw this coming, and grabbed her swords and sliced her abdomen with his claws, and head-butting the girl. Nobume was fazed, so Lucci sent another kick to her, sliding her across the floor. "Had enough?"

"Of course not." She stood up and turned to face Lucci. Despite the fact that her abdomen had an open wound, and blood was staining her white outfit, she still stood with her two swords, ready to fight. Just as the fight was about to continue, they heard another voice.

"STOP!"

**Robelle Village**

BANG! CLASH! Both Yatos clashed their umbrellas as if they were swords, a well as threw the occasional punch and kick. By now, they on the outskirts of Robelle, and had still cleard about half a mile of snow and town in their wake, revealing the barren ground. Just as they were about to continue, they were interrupted.

"That's enough." Kamui and Umibozu turned to the voice; Kamui growled in recognition.

"Not now Spandine-san, this is personal business I'm taking care of. Come back later." Kamui ordered.

"Due to recent developments, we no longer need Revolutionary Kureha or Admiral Aokiji. The rematch will begin soon, and we don't need you needlessly destroying World Government property. Regardless if the reason is personal or not." Spandine eyed Umibozu suspiciously. "So come along, my son is already gathering your girlfriend; we need to return to Mariejois."

"Shove the orders up your ass; I'm not leaving until I get this fight! This is the first time since I entered this universe that my blood's been pumped!" Kamui exclaimed.

"I understand. But you have your orders and are obligated to follow them until this transaction is complete. Or…do you wish to erase your chances of Imai-san's fraction permanently merging with the Harusame?" Spandine raised a brow.

"Hmmm…I suppose I'll go with the long-run." Kamui shrugged and put away his umbrella. "After all, killing this weakling is only a temporary thrill, Nobume-chan can survive no matter what the brutality. Can't lose an opponent like that."

"Very good." Spandine nodded and turned to Umibozu. "I don't know who you are, but I advise that you forget everything you just saw here; otherwise the World Government will have to take issue with you." Turning around, the government offical walked away. "Come along, Kamui-san."

"Later, father!" Kamui waved goodbye.

**Drum Castle**

"So yeah, we don't need those idiots, isn't that great?!" Spandam exclaimed eagerly. "So Nobume-chan, now that that idiot's obsessed with fighting someone else, want to go out now?"

"Die." Nobume replied.

"But-"

"Yes- die." Spandam turned to Lucci, who looked pissed off as hell to see him. "I don't care what developments the World Government's discovered, but I'll assume they don't need you anymore!"

"GAH!" Spandam yelled. CLANG! Nobume intercepted the claw attack with her sword; she and Lucci stared each other down, until finally putting away her own swords.

"We'll be going now. Thank you for the entertainment." Nobume then walked out of the castle, with Spandam blubbering behind her.

Lucci frowned; wondering what developments were good enough to release a convicted revolutionary and detach an asset such as a retired admiral?

**Meanwhile- Heading towards Drum Castle**

"And those are the expectations I have for you! Now are you up to the challenge?!" Umibozu demanded of his possible son-in-law.

"Ossan…please stop talking…it hurts." Sougo deadpanned, and huddled his body closer into his coat. After Kamui left, Umibozu took the younger lad onto his back, and had been carrying him up the mountain ever since. It was impressive that the bald man was doing it with one arm; but Sougo was more grateful that the man loaned out his extra coat. Normally the young sadist would hate to appear this weak, but due to the severity of his wounds and extreme temperature, he wasn't going to complain. The trade-off was: Umibozu could drill Sougo non-stop about his relationship with Kagura; which was starting to annoy the hell out of the young officer.

"Don't dodge the question son! I need to make sure you're good enough for my daughter!" He exclaimed.

"Yeah…a father who doesn't pay enough attention to his daughter, to not know she's had a boyfriend for over a year…yeah…you're really the person I need to ask for permission." Sougo replied sarcastically.

"Watch your mouth! I'm still the primary guardian-"

"You left China alone with her mother to die." Sougo grumbled a deadly growel. "You're the last person who has say in China's life as far as I'm concerned."

"…Kagura told you about that?" The old man sighed uneasily. "She never really talks about that…she really told you about it?"

"Eh. She told me about how she watched her mother deteriorate in memory until she was nothing but a mental infant; China fell asleep and her mother threw herself off a cliff, crawling after a centipede." Sougo noticed the man's hold tighten. "You're asking me because China never told you about it, did she?"

"…No, she didn't. After I came back; she was already old enough to travel and her mother had been dead for two years. She left the hut, and didn't say one word to me; I had to hear about what happened from the neighbors." The bald man sighed. "I suppose she also told you the truth behind how I lsot my arm."

"Eh. She told me that she and that bastard got into a fight over a pudding snack of all things, and he snapped. The only thing I can say is that, you're lucky you were there." Sougo replied. "Otherwise…I'd kill you for letting that bastard touch her."

A pregnant silence fell over the two, until the old man broke it. "…I…didn't see you the last time I was on earth…were you seeing my daughter at that point?"

"No…we were rivals at the time…we started dating a little over a year ago…our anniversary's coming up actually." The sadist couldn't help but smile at the thought. "I need to come up with a completely new torture technique on China."

"What kind of anniversary present is that?!" Umibozu demanded. "It can't be! You've already done it with my daughter! She's no longer innocent, is she?! How dare you?!"

"First of all, your daughter was never innocent, secondly…what China and I do, is none of your business." Sougo said bluntly.

"Yes it is! Just because I'm not an involved parent, doesn't mean she's not my-"

"YOU LOST THAT RIGHT WHEN YOU ALMOST LET HER DIE!" Sougo exclaimed. Umibozu was stunned into silence, and let the boy continue. "First…you left her with a mentally deranged mother in the slums, right after her brother almost killed her…then you had the nerve to come back to earth, and lead her into a death trap!" Just remembering the purple slime all over his grilfriend got him pissed off, but the man tried to take Kagura away to a different planet!

"I…I was trying to make up for lost time on that last one. I…really was going to try to be her father." Umibozu said uneasily.

"Too bad; you lost your chance. China's her own woman now…" Sougo smiled. "My woman to be exact. You can never make up for lost time, but you can swallow your own dick and try to trudge forward into a future designed by the strongest force in existence- mine and China's union."

"…Uh…that's touching." Umibozu sweat-dropped. "How serious are you about her? Do you plan to marry her?"

"When I take over the Shinsengumi, yes. Might take a few years, but…don't worry…she'll be legal to marry by then." Sougo smirked.

"So glad my daughter found a polite boyfriend." Umibozu said sarcastically. "So what are you doing on this planet anyways?"

"I happen to be on legitimate evil-empire-overthrowing business. What's your excuse?" The officer scoffed.

"In all honesty…some idiot named Sakamoto crashed into my ship and I crashed landed here." The man admitted.

"A deadbeat dad and a retarded loser, huh baldy?" Sougo replied boredly.

"Why you-"

"Hey look, we're here." Sougo interrupted his attempted murder. Umibozu sighed; he was going to be one hell of a son-in-law.

**5hrs Later**

As Umibozu got debriefed by Cipher Pole, Sougo had received his treatment from Kureha. "So your guy got chased off by a guy in a hideous suit too, huh?"

"Yes. It was Spandam; those two brutes you know, came here to arrest me for my participation in the Revolutionary Army, but apparently Aokiji and I are no longer needed." Kureha frowned, after finishing Sougo's bandages. "I don't like this. Players like Spandam and Spandine wouldn't let big fish like Aokiji and I go casually, something big must've happened."

"Well obviously…his superiors caught bigger fish." The bishounen replied. "Do you have the suspicion of who?"

"No one that would be caught by those government dogs, but what about you…aren't your comrades in the World Government's hands?" The old doctor questioned.

"Hijikata-san won't die that easily, and they still have use for Kondo-san." The boy shrugged. "Besides…they both probably have a suspicion of what's going on, so I wouldn't worry about it."

"If you say so." The doctor shrugged and turned to the king of the land. "Oi Dalton! The Den Den Mushis back online?"

"Eh. The government relinquished their hold on the line; the rest of former Cipher Pole agents must've gone down to the villages and dismantled the system." Dalton answered. "Kureha-san…this island would be lost without you…but I won't stop you if you feel that something is wrong."

"Perhaps I'll take you up on that later, but for now, we have these idiots to heal." Kureha huffed. "Is everyone from the village okay?"

"Ah. No one was reported injured or missing." Dalton answered. "We should contact the Strawhats."

"Don't bother." Kalifa spoke up. "All of the points of origins were under siege but were freed as of late; I suspect the Strawhats and Whitebeard pirates have gotten word of this already, and are getting ready to take action."

"You don't say?" Kureha frowned. "Forgive me if I find myself suspicious of you."

"It's fine." Lucci scratched the back of his head, sporting bandages himself. "We just want to ask if you're in."

"…The second Dragon pulls the trigger; consider me armed and ready." The old woman said in determination.

Sougo observed the conversation boredly, and then noticed something. "Anybody see where the ice admiral went?"

**Meanwhile**

Aokiji had gone back to Cocoa Weed and was currently in the process of packing/destroying his things in his office. He was so busy, that he didn't notice someone had come down; turning, he saw that it was Sougo, who still supported himself on crutches. "What do you want?"

"Just wanted to know if you were going to let anyone know of your departure." The boy sighed. "You better be grateful that I took the time to come down here; I had to convince baldy to give me a ride."

"I never asked you to come, leave." Aokiji returned to his work.

"…Out of all the jobs an out-of-work admiral would take, I'd never expect a bookkeeper for a tiny, family-owned restaurant. You doing it because they offered you food and shelter? Or are you just a madao?" The officer asked.

"When I first joined the Navy, I was in the payroll office; it took me ten years to work up to the rank of admiral. I wouldn't be able to live with myself, if I didn't repay these kind people somehow." Aokiji gruffed, not turning around to face the younger man.

"Huh? And judging by the way you're speaking, you spent many more years in the Navy than that. Why'd you quite all of the sudden? You don't strike me as a deserter." Sougo pried.

"As Lucci already told you, I lost the right of successorship to Akainu. I refuse to work under that bastard, so I left. Many soliders resigned due to the aftermath of the war that day." Aokiji sighed.

"The aftermath being that those Spandax-creeps made contact with the Harusame…how long was it after the Whitebeard war really, a year perhaps?" The boy asked.

"Yeah. How'd you know?" Aokiji turned to him.

"Because that's when these Harusame bastards almost killed my woman." Sougo replied. "It was almost one year exactly, that China and I got together, in the midst of a police group merging with the Harusame pirates. You've met them, I'm sure."

"So you know Isaburo-san, Takasugi-san, and..."

"Kamui-san…yeah…I know them." Sougo sighed. "So I don't get it; if the system you were so loyal to, is in danger…why abandon it?"

"It's none of your business! Now leave so I can continue packing up!" He exclaimed.

"Packing up without boxes?" Sougo scoffed. "Your scouring the room to make sure none of the government flunkies took a certain item." Taking out an item from his pocket, he showed the stunned man the thing he was looking for. "I noticed this on your desk and figured it was important, so I decided to take the liberty of using this as blackmail." Sougo frowned, and suddenly felt the arm holding the picture freeze.

Walking up to the boy, Aokiji took the picture. "You're lucky I feel merciful enough to spare your arm, now get out!"

"He threatened to burn it, right?" Sougo stopped him. "I picked it up because I noticed the burn mark in the corner; he threatened to destroy the only memory you have of them, and then most likely expose you, correct?"

"How do you-"

"My sister died two years ago; I'm an orphan and have no other family, and only have one picture of her. That'd be the only reason I'd throw a fight like that too." Sougo sighed. "Tell me, do you really think your avenging their memories by hiding out on this island?"

"It's now about vengeance, it's about escaping. I betrayed her in the worst possible way; I didn't just watch her die, I…actually thought that girl in the picture wasn't mine. You see, we met under strained circumstances and…we fell in love, and…she disappeared one night without explanation, and when I finally found her with a child, I…assumed the worst." Aokiji clutched the table for support.

"So your daughter's alive, then?" Sougo raised a brow.

"Eh. And she has no idea that I'm her father, as she knows me is the person who lead her island to destruction, as well as almost killing her crewmates. I'm proud of her; she found her place in this world, and has a place she can truly call home, I just wish I could tell her that." Aokiji sighed.

"Tell me…your wife…were you the last thing she saw before she died?" Sougo demanded.

"Eh. She died in my arms, telling me the truth; she gave me that picture as her goodbye present. Robin's…only a year old in that picture." Aokiji cracked a smile "She got my tanned skin and black hair."

"Yes, she's beautiful. You're coming with me and the cipher gang." Sougo announced bluntly.

"Didn't you hear a word I just said, I don't-"

"If what you say is true, then you owe both your wife and daughter the favor of cleaning up the Navy; a real man would face up to that responsibility, not runaway from the chance. What would she say to you right now, Olivia-san, I mean?" Sougo stated bluntly.

"She'd…demand that I make amends. Olivia-san was fearless, she'd…force me to take my place as Fleet Admiral." He sighed.

"So what are you waiting for?" Sougo raised an eyebrow.

"How could a man like me, who abandoned his wife and daughter, as well be beaten by the man who murdered his wife, be acceptable for the position as Fleet Admiral?" Aokiji sighed.

"You said that you held her as she died, right?" Sougo asked.

"Yeah."

"Trust me…you're worthy. The hardest thing a warrior of any kind can do is be helpless as their loved one dies in front of them, but…also be strong enough to support their loved one as they die. Trust me…Olivia-san needed you in her last moments, just as…Mitsuba needed me." Memories of her in that hospital bed flooded his mind. "I pushed her to get married to a shady business man to make her have the experience of a wedding before she passed; all I did was hurt her, and she still forgave me. I'm…honestly not far off from you."

"Okita-kun…"

"You didn't turn away, and you didn't sob the snot out of your nose as she died; you let her say exactly what she needed to say, and allowed her to say her final wish. A coward would've done otherwise." The boy finished.

After a few moments of silence, Aokiji looked at the picture in his hand again; it was a picture of Olivia, holding Robin in a rocking chair when she was just a year old. He could never stop smiling when he looked at it, but then he thought of Akainu…what he had taken from him, and…what he was going to continue to take, if he was made Fleet Admiral. Turning to the boy, he looked at him firmly. "If I go along with this…you are to tell no one of this conversation or this picture's existence…do I make myself clear?"

"Or you'll freeze me to death, right?" Sougo looked at his left hand for emphasis.

"Damn right."

"Fine. It's a deal; you participate in the little rematch with Akainu, and you got yourself a deal." Sougo smirked.

"Damn, this is gonna be troublesome…" Aokiji complained, but in the inside, he couldn't be more excited.

** 5 Days Later- Meanwhile**

Far down on the Grand Line in the New World, a famous Strawhat captain looked at the wanted posters of a new pirate group suspiciously.

"Luffy! You're brother's approaching!" Zoro called.

"Ah! Prepare to send him up!" Luffy nodded, but kept his serious disposition. "EVERYONE!" His crew turned to look up at him. "LET'S TEACH THESE ODD-JOBS PIRATES A LESSON!" Luffy grinned. "By the time we're done with them…they'll regret ever going near our home islands."

**Review please! Finally, Luffy and the Strawhats will be making their appearances in the next chapter! Along with Ace and several other Whitebeard commanders! I'm kind of in a writer's block in Alabasta though, so after the next chapter, I might take awhile to post. It's not that I'm going on hiatus, so much as...my mind's blank. So if you have any comments, concerns, or questions- leave it in the PM or review!**


	18. Tourists are Morons

**Hey guys! Sorry for my late update, forgot it was Friday yesterday! So yeah, Odd-Jobs finally meets Strawhats, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama or Case Closed  
**

Two weeks felt like two milenia to the Odd-Jobs trio. For two weeks straight, they were struck listening to the mariachi band from hell, and since they were trapped on a ship, they could NOT get away from it! Everywhere they went, it was an amigo following them, followed by random song-bursting, and them singing and repeating EVERY DAMNED thing they said.

"Gin-san…I can't take this anymore…" Shinpachi had bags under his eyes…these bastards even sung in their sleep!

"Yeah…let me throw them off the ship already, uh-huh." Kagura groaned in equal misery.

"Don't be ridiculous; they have sugar and alcohol, and we're staying here for free; don't question good fortune." Gintoki suddenly vomited over the railing they were leaning on.

"YOU BASTARD! YOU'VE BEEN DRUNK THE ENTIRE TIME TO AVOID COGNITIVE COLLECTION WEREN'T YOU?!" They yelled.

"What the mind does and remembers while drunk is not, Shinpachi-kun…Kagura-chan…so remember to travel in high spirits and good taste." He vomited again. "Besides…don't we arrive today?"

"That's assuming we're lucky enough..." Shinpachi growled. "All I know is, just about any other torture would be better experience, than on this singing ship of hell."

"Don't jinx us Shinpachi-kun…you don't know what you're saying." And another vomit storm began.

**Meanwhile- At an Alabasta Pierre**

"So you're in pretty good with the princess here, huh?" Ace asked his little brother, as he helped him and his crew dock the ship. Vista and Haruta were also there, as well as a borrowed fleet from Whitebeard. As over the top as it sounded, they had no idea who these 'Odd-Jobs' pirates were, but until they were confirmed friends or enemies, it was best to not take chances.

"Yeah! The last time my crew and I were here, we helped save her kingdom, don't you remember?" Luffy reminded him and looked ahead and smiled. There was Vivi and her guards running towards with them, with several soldiers, all with huge smiles on their faces. "Ah! Hey guys! Vivi and the others have come to greet us! LET THE FEAST BEGIN!"

**Meanwhile- At another Alabasta Pierre**

Sougo sighed in discomfort at the sweltering heat, just what was with this planet? First it was a winter island, and now a desert island? Make up your mind, freaking islands! Aokiji and Umibozu stayed back at Drum Island to avoid the scorching hot weather; Sougo was very grateful they weren't there to get back at him for calling them wimps. God…Japan…never got this hot; this was the freakin' Sahara desert almost!

"Don't worry, they'll be here." Lucci spoke up, Sougo turned to him with an annoyed stare.

"For your sake they better…I've never felt this annoyed at something for the longest time." Sougo sighed. "I mean…I'm actually fantasizing the island burning to to hell, and me watching from a haven-like air-conditioned room."

"…Moving on. We made contact with Dawn Island, and have confirmed that the Odd-Jobs trio have come this way. Of course they might've committed suicide on the way, based on their ride, but we can be hopeful." Lucci explained.

"Who was their ride?" Okita raised an eyebrow.

Letting out a sigh, Lucci replied. "The Amigo Pirates; can't imagine a worse traveling situation."

It was silent for a moment before Sougo finally spoke. "Huh…do you know if they'll follow someone around specifically if hired to do so?"

"Why?" Lucci rose a brow.

"Well…if I hire these guys, do you think Hijikata-san will kill himself just to get away from them?" Okita asked.

"We don't even put prisoners at Impel Down through that kind of torture." The leopard man replied.

"So it's never tried before…excellent." Sougo's dark look of glee, sent shivers down the agent's spine.

"Yes…uh…I think I'll join the others at the restaurant over there. We need to stock up on supply." Lucci sighed, walking forward with the young man.

**Elsewhere on Alabasta-Alubarna**

"This is a shame…there's no cell service." Isaburo sighed, putting away his phone. "And where are Imai and Yato…they were supposed to meet us here?"

"Oh shut up! As if I want to hang around, a stuck-up alien!" Momonga huffed, scarfing down another beer. "Intelligence shows that the Odd-Jobs pirates are heading here for supplies! And we have to cut um' off at the knees here!"

"Whatever you say…I'm just bored. With no cell reception, I can't send any emails or texts to my buddies, nor can I play games here because my battery's running low. Honestly…for a universe with several technological geniuses…you aren't particularly advanced are you?" Sighed the white-coat man.

"Yeah, well...without the technology, it makes us harder workers!" Yelled Momonga.

"Keep it down, you're disturbing the other customers." Isaburo sighed, and then noticed something. "Huh? A text message from Imai." Opening it, he scanned it momentarily and then snapped his phone shut. "Well I'm leaving; due to a recent development, Imai and Yato have been recalled; I'm anxious to see Takasugi Shinsuke's catch."

"Hmph! Well I'm staying here!" Momonga declared. "Whatever it is, it can't be that great! I've got my men and everything!"

"Right…I'll leave you to die in your pathetic state." Isaburo left the restaurant.

**Elsewhere on Alabasta- Nanohana**

"Goodbye friends, it's been well!" Largo waved to the Odd-Job trio as they warily got off the ship. Despite being in the sun for two weeks, the three of them looked paler than corpses at the morgue. "Do you need us to escort you, anywhere?"

"NO! GOT TO HELL YOU DAMNED LOSERS!" The three of them yelled.

"Losers?" Largo whimpered.

"Yes! Who in the world would want to hear you idiots sing all day?!" Gintoki exclaimed. "It's enough to drive you to suicide!"

"Yeah! What's wrong with you people?! Do you have a grudge against humanity or something?!" Kagura demanded.

"None of us asked for a mariachi band, so none of us would like a stalker mariachi band either." Shinpachi finished it off.

"WELL I NEVER! See if we ever give you a ride again! Amigos…out!" Largo declared; and without that, the ship set off.

"Gin-san…was that hell?" Shinpachi asked.

"No Shinpachi-kun…that was the preview of hell." Gintoki sighed.

"I'm hot uh-huh! Why are we on this desert island?! What are we looking for?!" Kagura demanded.

"We're looking for a guy named Mihawk or whatever; he's a friend of that Shanks-guy." Gintoki sighed, walking forward. "He's supposedly staying at the royal palace or something; lucky bastard."

"Any idea what Mihawk-san looks like?" Shinpachi asked.

"No idea, but I say let's head to the palace, I'm starving and desperately need a parfait." Gintoki groaned.

"Gin-chan! I'm hungry now, let's go to a café instead." Kagura groaned.

"Do what you want, brat. I'm heading over for the royal treatment." The permhead waved the girl off. "Shinpachi-kun, you coming?"

"Ah. Let's go Gin-san." Shinpachi sighed.

"Hmph! Cheap bastards!" Kagura yelled. "Fine! I'll enjoy delicious food without, uh-huh!" Kagura charged into the first restaurant she came across.

**Meanwhile- Momonga**

Momonga sighed, gulping down another pitcher of beer; he had been in a horrible mood since the Gecko Island incident. Saved by a bunch of lousy start-up pirates, how humiliating could it get?! Oh well…at least their wanted posters were out. Sighing, he didn't even notice the person who sat down next to him.

"Yo bartender! Gimme Nippo, curry, eggs on rice, and the coldest water yah have!" The girl was obnoxious; despite the poor grammar, it had to have been a noble. But somehow…the voice sounded familiar.

"That's quite a tall order little girl, you sure you can pay for it? Much less eat all of it?" The cook asked suspiciously.

"Shut up and get my order! The customers always right, uh-huh!" Momonga froze at the catch-phrase. "Now gimme the biggest portions this place has got!"

"As long as you can pay, you got it. Now pay up front!" The owner demanded.

"WHAT?! That's outrageous! How do I know you won't deliver on the food you promised!" Kagura demanded.

"You're kidding! How do I know you won't run out on the check?! Look, ever since three years ago, I've tightened my policy around here! Almost all of my restaurant supply was purged by the D brothers!" The owner yelled.

"I don't care about okama brothers who have Double-D's, that's got nothing to do with me!" Kagura exclaimed.

"No you idiot! They're brother, the 'D', is just their initial!" He yelled.

"Well whatever, it's a weird name, uh-huh!" Damn! There it was again, Momonga thought.

"It doesn't matter! Ever since then, I've demanded my checks upfront for the order! Now either pay up, or beat it!" The owner exclaimed.

"How about you get my food before I bash your ugly face in?!" Kagura exclaimed.

"Why you-"

"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD, PLEASE STOP!" Momonga finally cracked.

"Huh?" Kagura blinked, and then her eyes widened. "Oh! It's you! That desperate Navy-guy with no life!"

"I do have a life, you degenerate!" Momonga exclaimed. "I've just been too ashamed to show my face to the Navy after what happened on Gecko!"

"Oh! You mean how we had to save entire island from your Navy corruption?" Kagura asked matter-of-factly.

"QUIET!" He grinned sheepishly at the restaurant owner. "Uh…I'll cover whatever she's eating, so go away and cook!" Luckily, the chef didn't argue and left. "You aren't supposed to spread that around, and it was necessary for the time being…in fact…we would've fired them if the recent development had happened earlier. Lastly, it was a World Government problem, not Navy."

"Same difference." Kagura shrugged. "So what's this development, anyways?"

"None of your business! What are you idiots doing here in Alabasta anyways?!" Momonga demanded.

"We're looking for some guy named Mihawk, we were asked to do so for a top-secret mission, uh-huh." Kagura answered.

"Huh…speaking of top-secret." Momonga grinned and got out handcuffs. "Now that you've been officially labeled a pirate, I get to take you in."

**Meanwhile- Shinpachi**

Shinpachi sighed as he walked through the different vendors, trying not to die from the smell of perfume; he had lost Gintoki when a crowd of dancers walked past them. He could only hope that Gintoki was at the palace. He was so out of it, he didn't notice where he was going and bumped into a guy with fairly large shoulders, and dressed in a business suit. "Ah. Sorry."

"No, it's my fault." The man had long hair, and had a pigeon on his shoulder. "Sorry, I was distracted, my friends and I are looking for an acquaintance of ours, but he seemed to have disappointed." He held out his hand. "I'm Rob Lucci."

"Shimura Shinpachi, nice to meet you." The boy bowed politely, and finally noticed the other members in suits looking for their 'acquaintance'. "I'm sorry as well, I'm not used to these temperatures and I didn't see where I was going. I'm supposed to meet someone at the palace, but my idiot boss got lost, and now I don't know where the hell I am."

"What a coincidence, we're heading to the palace as well." A beautiful blonde woman in a black miniskirt approached.

"Ah, really? Would you mind if I tagged along? I'm sure Gin-san will go there eventually." Shinpachi asked hopefully.

"Sure. We could use the company." A fat guy with a zipper walked up, along with a long nose, long pony tail, and pink hair.

**Back at Restaurant  
**

Kagura smirked in amusement as she watched her boyfriend use Momonga as a seat for his butt. "Another round, Cook-san!"

"HAI!" The cook was scared stiff of the sadistic bishounen.

"So China…" He pulled Kagura into his lap, and trailed a hand up her body. "Since we've been away from each other for so long…what do you say we take the time to re-explore each other?"

"Stupid sadist, that's the lamest pick-up line you've ever used." Kagura deadpanned.

"Can you blame me? I haven't had sex with you in a week. That means that not only are we good in a relationship, but it's been officially proven that you're vital to my brain activity." Sougo explained.

"So basically…you think with your dick, Sadist?" Kagura twitched.

"And you think with your fists, your point?" Sougo smirked down at her.

"My point is you've become too corny, uh-huh! So therefore we have to reinstate our relationship!" Kagura declared.

"I like where this is going China…" He slipped his fingers into her dress.

"COULD YOU TWO DO THAT ELSEWHERE?!" Momonga cried in agony at the combined weight on his back.

"Oh…you're still there…the man who hit on my girlfriend." Sougo smirked sadistically, and took some noodles with chile sauce on it. It was so hot, that Momonga's eyes were burning. "Tell you what…we'll leave if you let me spoon feed you this entire chile dish without water."

"PLEASE! THIS PLACE HAS THE SPICIEST CHILE IN THE WORLD! WE'RE ON A DESERT ISLAND FOR CRYING OUT-LOUD! HAVE A HEART!" Momonga cried.

"I can't forgive someone who hit on my China." Sougo smirked, bringing it near his eye.

"I wasn't hitting on her, I was trying to arrest her! She's a wanted-GAH! MY EYES!" Sougo shoved the chile into his face before he continued.

"Ne Sadist, how did you find me anyways?" Kagura asked.

"I was hungry and came into the restaurant, not to mention I heard your obnoxious voice ordering the chef around, couldn't be anyone else." The boy shrugged.

"Obnoxious?!" Kagura glared, but blinked in realization. "Hey Sadist, what are you doing in this universe anyways? Mayora and Gorilla here, too?"

"Save that kind of talk for the bedroom, love." Sougo smirked.

**The Palace**

Gintoki sweated nervously at the people in the room; it was beautiful banquet hall, there was joy and festivity in the air, and celebration was afoot. The only problem was…he wasn't supposed to be there, oh how he wasn't supposed to be here. Gintoki continued to sweat as his beard-thing and wig started to itch, with the sweltering weather the clothes weren't helping either; he was wearing a weird white trench coat with a purple lining, and white Spanish pants. At least he was able to keep his boots.

"So Vivi's dad!" Gintoki tensed when the boy in a Strawhat turned to address him. The boy was of average height and looked to be about twenty, had a scar of an x on his chest, wore jeans, read shirt, and had a scar below his left eye.

"Err…yes…little boy?" Gintoki answered nervously. He had no idea who these people were, nor did he even know who 'Vivi' was.

"Father! What's wrong with you?! Address Luffy-san properly!" A beautiful blue-haired girl with a smoking-body replied; Gintoki resisted the urge to drool.

"Er…yes! I apologize Luffy-san, I haven't been feeling well." Gintoki said lamely.

"That's true…you seem paler than usual, Your Majesty." A giant man with curly-judge hair, named Ingrham from what he heard earlier, replied.

"Ah! I've contracted a disease recently, called albinomeningitisism; very contagious…I wouldn't get too close. HACK! HACK!" Gintoki chucked a few fake coughs.

"Oh, I can take a look at you, your majesty." A tiny, chibi humanoid reindeer with a backpack on top of his head stood up. "Shall we go back to your room?"

"NO!" Gintoki's nervousness rose as he thought of the poor old man who was currently stuffed in a storage closet. If they walked by said-storage closet, then he'd fallout and he was screwed. Noticing everyone was staring at him, he cleared his throat. "I mean…all of you have come such a far way, and I wouldn't want to trouble you with my problems. Don't worry, this disease is only transferable for people of documented recessives, so don't worry, unless it's been confirmed on the document, you can't catch it!"

"I've never heard of a disease like that." The reindeer, called Tony Tony Chopper, replied.

"That's because it's so rare, that it's legendary." Gintoki explained. "Now then, let's continue with this feast! I'm starving!"

"Me too, I'm curious to see if any recipes have changed." A blonde guy called Sanji spoke.

"Yes actually!" A large woman beside Ingrham spoke. "I call it the Terracota-special! You see, it combines giant desert crab, and-"

"Talk about it later, I'm hungry!" A huge cyborg-man spoke, and chowed down. "I'm Franky by the way, your majesty, the new Shipwright! Nice to meet yah!"

"Eh…you too." Gintoki then noticed a guy dressed in a damn good skeleton costume sipping some wine politely. "Hey Skeleton-san…that's a good costume, is it part of your gimic?"

"Yohohoho! I'm Dead-Bones Brook, I'm afraid this isn't a costume! I'm as good as dead!" Brook cheerfully.

"Ah I see, that makes sense-" Gintoki paled considerably. "Wait…you're a real skeleton…as in…undead?"

"Well not exactly…I've got the Yomi Yomi no Mi, so I died once and came back to life!" Brook explained.

"Ah, I see…Devil Fruits also can bring the dead back to life, how helpful. So what do you do?" Gintoki asked.

"I'm the Musician!" The skeleton answered cheerfully. "Are you all right, your highness?"

"I'm fine, just not used to a skeleton in the room." He replied.

"FATHER!" Vivi implored. "What is wrong with you today?! Pell, did he get up on the wrong side of the bed?"

"Don't worry about it my lovely Vivi, the shitty Marimo wakes up on the wrong side of the bed anyways." Sanji sneered at a green-haired swordsman.

"Shut it, Ero-cook, I just hate mornings." Grumbled the man.

"Zoro, you hate every time of the day." A well-built man with a long-nose spoke.

"Ussop, you're no better when you take long naps." A beautiful orange-haired woman spoke. God, what was with these women in this universe?! They were all extremely hot or hideous!

"Come on Nami, you and Robin can sleep normal hours." The man called, Ussop complained.

"Eh. I generally try to get at least eight hours of healthy rest." The last member, a dark-haired beauty spoke.

"AHAHA! That's what I call smart-living!" A shirtless guy in an orange hat spoke. "So Little Brother, the plan is go to East Blue right?" Gintoki's ears perked at that. He was just there.

"Yeah! That's actually why we came here Vivi." Luffy turned to the princess. "Yah see, the Whitebeard crew and us are heading to East Blue to check on our home islands, because we got news of some pirate crew targeting them. Also…the World Government…"

"The World Government has imposed Marital Law on our home islands, so obvious reaffirmation need to be taken." Nico Robin replied. "Although…intelligence has said that the islands are fine, we still need to confirm whether or not these 'Odd-Jobs Pirates' are a threat or not."

"PPPFFT!" Gintoki spat out the Kahlua he had been drinking. "What?!"

"Father?" Vivi blinked.

"Your Majesty?" The one called Pell rose a brow at the 'king'. "Are you sure, you're okay?"

"As one of your head guards, your majesty, I insist you rest." A dark-skinned man spoke up.

"Chaka's right, Father. I can send you the report of inventory, so don't worry about it." Vivi reassured.

"Uh, no! I'm fine…I'm just curious as to why such powerful people like you are interested in these Odd-Jobs people…which by the way, do you know their names or descriptions?" He asked hastily at the end.

Raising a brow, Nami answered. "No, we've never seen them, all we have to go on is their wanted posters."

"Wanted Posters? They have Wanted Posters?" Gintoki sweated profusely. "Since when? How much?"

"With all due respect Your Majesty, why are you interested in that information?" Nico Robin rose a brow.

"Yes father…you've been acting strange all afternoon." Vivi frowned in suspicion. "Are you really my father?"

Gulping, Gintoki decided he had no choice, but to: "WHY I NEVER! AS KING OF THIS COUNTRY I AM MERELY TAKING PRECAUTIONS TO POSSIBLE TERRORISTS! You see…as a king, I have to possess a kingly aura of authority! DO I OR DO I NOT HAVE AN AUTHORITATIVE KINGLY AURA!"

"WHAT ARE YOU BABBLING ABOUT YOU CHOWDER HEAD?!" The room froze and turned to something caused their eyes to bug-out. There was Carue, with a tied-up king in his underwear on his back, who looked as pissed off as hell. "IMPOSTER OR NOT, YOU INSULT THE VERY MEANING TO THE TITLE: KING! WHAT WAS All THAT SHIT ABOUT A KINGLY AURA ANYWAYS?!"

"Oh well…I thought I was doing justice, after all my albinism prevents me from being anyone important in society." Gintoki said lamely.

"WHAT THE HELL?! NOW YOU'RE JUST FLAT-OUT ABANDONING THE KINGLY-AURA ARGUMENT! YOU JUST WANTED TO USE THAT IN AN ARGUMENT SOMETIME IN YOUR LIFE, DIDN'T YOU?!" The real king accused.

"Oh well…I guess…I'll just-"

Suddenly, another appearance was made. A maid appeared with Shinpachi and a group of people in business suits. "Excuse me, Your Majesty, the ex-Cipher Pole agents are here, and-" The whole room froze in a tense staring contest.

"SHINPACHI!" Ditching the disguise, Gintoki ran forward and grabbed the stunned boy's shoulders. "Quick! Tell them I'm with you! Please! I'll be executed for impersonating a king! Quick! Say you know me!"

"Please get off of me; I don't know you." Shinpachi said bluntly.

"DAMN YOU MEGANE! YOU TRAITOR!" Gintoki yelled.

"Uh…would someone just mind telling us what's going on?" Vista spoke up.

"I CAN TELL YOU!" The real king spoke up. "I found this idiot following some of the entertainment girls in, and I tried to throw him out! The next thing I know, I stripped and stuffed in a storage closet! Honestly, if Carue hadn't come by, I don't know if I would've survived."

"There was a door crack for air!" Gintoki refuted.

"There's no door-crack you damn permhead! I was suffocating with those damned ropes constructing my breathing!" The king yelled at him.

"Permhead…" Everyone (minus Shinpachi and Gintoki) muttered in realization.

"Gin-san…" Shinpachi whispered to him. "What's going on?"

"Oh Shinpachi-kun, there's nothing exciting I just learned." SNAP! All weapons and powers were pointed at them; Cipher Pole just stood against the wall, out of the way. "We're famous and they want our autographs in blood. RUN!" Grabbing the boy, he tore through the hallway!

"LET'S GET THEM!" Luffy commanded; so there it went. Two pirate crews, two royalty people, and all of Alabasta's royal guard from that banquet hall were after the two outsiders.

**10min Later**

After ten minutes of running, Gintoki and Shinpachi ran out to a balcony and hid behind the wall. "I think we lost them."

"That's good, Gin-san what did you do to make two pirate crews and a royal guard pissed off enough to kill you?" Shinpachi looked at him annoyed.

"Why do you assume it's my fault, damn Megane?! Do you have any idea how close to dying I was back there?!" Gintoki yelled.

"They should, you were posing as their king! Why would you throw the king in the closet?!" Shinpachi demanded.

"There was a misunderstanding, and I had no choice all right!" Gintoki insisted and then thought of something. "Where's Kagura-chan?"

"Wherever she is, she's not being chased by pirates and soldiers." Shinpachi groaned. "Congratulations, you've made two sides of opposing ideals and principles join together in an effort to eliminate you. You officially garnered the world's largest amount of hatred in record-time."

"Would you shut up?! It was your fault too! Showing up with some VIP group like that!" Gintpki exclaimed.

"They were in an ex-government agency, and they happened to be looking for Mihawk-san as well." Shinpach argued.

"Oh yeah, this Mihawk guy…the bastard better not turn into a hawk." Gintoki sighed.

"Well I don't turn into a hawk, my eyesight I would like to believe is superior to that of one." Both turned to a mysterious man sipping wine on a table set in the balcony. Both men gawked at the Spanish attire and the giant sword on Mihawk's back. "If you're done gawking at my sword, are you going to tell me what you want?"

"So you're really…" Shinpachi trailed off.

"Eh. I am Dracule Mihawk, now who are you and what do you want?" The man's yellow eyes pierced straight through the younger boy, but met with the force of the fish-eyed man.

**Review please! I promise that Odd-Jobs and Strawhats will interact more next chapter! Review or PM me if any questions!**


	19. Clowns are freakin' Scary

**Hey guys! Managed to update slightly on time this time! Anyways, my main plot twist will finally be revealed in this chapter, so please read! Also, Gintoki and Mihawk fight, and Sougo and Zoro have a brief encounter. For Gintoki's fight, I was honestly quite torn; I just want to say that I absolutely love Mihawk. I think he's freakin' amazing, and is one of the strongest characters in One Piece. But he's also extremely arrogant and to me knowldge, lacks a devil fruit (which adds to his amazingness, don't get me wrong). So yeah..just read it! So please, read, enjoy, review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama  
**

"I'll ask again, who are you and what do you want?" Mihawk's unforgiving eyes didn't waver.

"Err…I'm Shimura Shinpachi, and this is Sakata Gintoki, Shanks-san and Garp-san told us that you knew we were coming." Shinpachi explained hastily.

"I see…I was told there would be one more with you, where is she?" Mihawk sipped more of his wine.

"Errr…we're not sure at the moment." Shinpachi admitted. "So…uh…we're kind of in a hurry right now, so…"

"Yes, I saw that comedic fiasco in the banquet hall, I found it repulsive." The pale man continued.

"What?" Shinpachi asked.

"That this man in front of me could actually be of assistance in the coup', please…he couldn't even restrain someone as untrained as the Alabasta King. I don't know what Red-Haired was thinking." Mihawk answered.

Gintoki didn't say anything, but Shinpachi continued. "Look, I know that we appear silly, but Gin-san has quite a resume. He's fought assassins, former comrades, aliens, and the strongest men in the universe! Well…our universe anyways."

"Yes, I heard about Takasugi Shinsuke, and I also heard you allowed him to escape." Mihawk replied. "There's no chance of mercy in a fight with any of the admirals, and we can't afford any mistakes with this operation. So I don't have the confidence that Red-Haired does; the only reason why I'm even considering you is because of his vouches and Garp-san's atrociously annoying Blackmail skill."

"So what are you saying…?" Shinpachi asked quietly.

"I'm saying, that I refuse to loan any of my swords out to a man that isn't worthy of them. If you want to borrow a sword from me, prove yourself- Sakata Gintoki." Mihawk stared straight at the silver samurai.

Scratching his head, Gintoki sighed. "Guess there's no getting around it. What'd yah have in mind?"

Taking one last sip of his wine, Mihawk put the wine down and stood up. "A duel of course. Come with me."

**Meanwhile- Elsewhere in the Palace**

"Uwahh! That was great!" Kagura flipped the sheet up over herself and Sougo. Both were naked-clad, only covered by the sheet; Kagura kept it above her breasts, while the sheet covered Sougo's waist. "that was great Sadist! I thought you forgot how to do it!"

"How could I forget something that comes naturally, China?" The boy smirked. "So anyways, now that the fun's over, we have to talk business."

"Sadist…" Kagura groaned, resting on his chest. "We just did it after a week, do we have to talk about boring stuff now?"

"Yes, the author's about to do something important, so we have to keep up the pace, China." Okita sighed. "Anyways, at this point in the plot, the World Government is planning to restart the war at it's upcoming anniversary, using the weapons of the Kihetai and the Mimiwarigumi as collaboration patterns."

"Bent on creating a new multi-world order, yeah-yeah, it's just a ripoff of the Case Closed crossover, we get it." Kagura groaned. "So what's this 'new development' that people keep talking about Sadist?"

"It's the one thing the author will keep secret in hopes of her inspiration rising to the level of completing this damned fic." Sougo sighed. "Anyways, Danna's probably about to do that epic scene, and the long-awaited meeting between us and the Strawhats is about to commence. Which reminds me…what brings you to Alabasta, China?"

"Ah. We're here to find some guy named Mihawk, so Gin-chan can borrow a sword from him or something." Kagura shrugged.

"A sword?" Okita raised a brow. "What for, China?"

"To have an all-purpose weapon in case we run into any marines with devil fruits uh-huh!" Kagura replied. "That reminds me, what are you and these CP9 people doing here?"

"I met up with them on a Navy ship I jacked, I felt pity for them and rescued them form their miserable captors. Turns out that they've been running from the World Government ever since some bunk operation three years ago. They were framed by these Spandax guys, and have been on the run ever since." Sougo explained.

"Ah! Spandam and Spandine! We met them!" Kagura smiled.

"Oh good. As for why we're here, we're actually to find this Mihawk-person and you Yoruzuya-troublemakers." Sougo smirked.

"Oi, only those two are troublemakers! So I don't get it, why are you guys trying to find this Mihawk guy?" The girl asked.

"Ah. That's where the second part of the plot is going to be explained, you see-"

CLICK!

Annoyed, both teens turned to the stunned and disturbed Alabastan king and several of his servants. One with pale skin, another with a white wig, and the other with black hair. Finally, after several agonizing minutes, the king spoke. "That's my bed."

"Yes, it accommodated us greatly." Sougo replied, wrapping his arms around Kagura. "Now leave, I want to have another round."

"AT LEAST SAY THANK YOU!" The guards yelled.

"I can never sleep in this room again." The king sobbed.

**Elsewhere in the Palace**

Luffy and Ace growled while looking around the palace. They finally found the damn bastard!

"Oi Luffy!" Ace and Luffy ceased in their running, and turned to Zoro. "There are some other intruders in the King's bedroom…one of them's a swordsman."

"Ah!" Luffy nodded. "Good luck Zoro!"

"Luffy." Ace got his attention. "Let's split up and find our nakama; wherever these bastards are hiding, they can't get past us if we guard the exits."

"Right!" Luffy nodded in affirmation.

"LUFFY!" The boy turned to Nami, who was waving him down from the other end of the hall. "Come quick! Mihawk's going to fight the guy!"

"Seriously?! It's not one of Ussop's lies is it?" Luffy asked suspiciously.

"I WOULDN'T LIE LIKE USSOP, YOU BAKA!" Nami yelled in reply. "Come on already! Everyone else is already there! By the way…where's Zoro? You'd think he'd want to see this."

**Kagura and Okita**

"Sounds like Gin-chan's going to have to fight this Mihawk-person, uh-huh!" Kagura spoke casually. She and Okita strode through the place, looking for either of their companions; due to their last romping session, the Alabasta king and his top servants were passed out form nosebleeds in the bedroom. Kagura blushed at the thought. "Stupid Sadist. Can't believe you made me do that in front of grown men."

"China, it was to show them something they could never regain back- the wonders and corruption of youth." He smirked. "You weren't complaining."

"That's because you made me go along with it, uh-huh!" She yelled.

"Doesn't matter; both of us received pleasant results." The young officer laced his fingers with hers. "Now let's find our groups, and get the hell out of here."

"Funny how I was thinking the same thing." Okita and Kagura stopped, and turned around. About twenty feet from them, was a green-haired swordsman with a scar over his left eye, carried a sword in his mouth, and wore a casual hakama. "I am Rornora Zoro, First-Mate of the Strawhats; you're trespassing onto the King's property."

"Since when do pirates work for royalty?" Sougo asked, eying the man cautiously. The boy had to admit, the way the man carried himself and his swords, he definitely had some years on him, but multiple swords often meant he was compensating for something.

"They're friends of ours, that's all you need to know." Zoro noticed the sword at the younger man's hip. "I have some questions for you, why were you and your woman in the king's bedroom, and second- you're a swordsman, correct? Also…what were you doing with Cipher Pole? You work for the government or something?"

"What went on in that bedroom was something you most likely never experienced in your miserable life, and yes, I am swordsman, you retarded moron. As for the other questions, no, I don't work for the government, but they will work for me soon, though." Kagura sighed at her boyfriend's response; he was itching for a fight.

"SHUT UP! What would you know about my experience level?!" Zoro demanded. "Besides…true warriors dedicate themselves to training, a relationship is nothing but a waste of time."

"Says the virgin." Kagura finally spoke up. "Don't speak about things you don't understand, shitty marimo."

Zoro twitched at the familiar nickname. "Brat. Only one person calls me that, and the only reason why I don't kill him is because he's my crewmate. You on the other hand, I have no obligation towards." Eying her a little closer, his eyes widened when he saw a sword in his face. Quickly sidestepping, he narrowly avoided having the blade pierce his eye. He stared in shock; the boy may have looked young, but apparently the boy's stance and posture were true to his maturity.

"That was for ogling China, shitty marimo." Sougo deadpanned.

"I WASN'T CHECKING OUT HER BODY! SHE LOOKS FAMILIAR!" Zoro defended himself. "You're Gorilla-Strength Kagura, right? Member of the Odd-Jobs Pirates?"

"What are you talking about?" Kagura twitched at being called 'Gorilla', but when she thought about it, her eyes widened. Pointing an accusatory finger at him, she yelled, "DID YOU SAY STRAWHAT?!"

"Yes! I'm the First-Mate!" Zoro repeated in frustration.

"Cool! Gin-chan, Shinpachi, and I have been going all over the Grand Line looking for this One Piece treasure, and we've been forced to help these smaller islands along the way. Since there your home islands we helped, we demanded compensation, uh-huh!" Kagura put her hand out, demandeding money.

"What?" Zoro couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You invade our islands, and you demand money?"

"We didn't invade your islands! We were kidnapped by them, uh-huh!" Kagura retorted. "Now where's Gin-chan?!"

"Don't know, don't care. I'll deal with him, after I deal with you two." Zoro got his sword in position, but frowned when the boy stepped in front of the girl. "I don't wish to fight your woman, but I won't let her escape either."

"I'm stronger than you, shitty marimo!" The Yato barked. "And sadist, I can handle this myself!"

"No China…I haven't had the chance to fight a swordsman in this universe yet, and he seems at least relatively interesting." Sougo replied. "Besides…he reminds me of Hiijikata-san. A permanently constipated Hijikata-san."

Zoro twitched even more. "What? Constipated who?!"

"Ah. You definitely remind me of Mayora. Which makes me want to kill you even more, you bastard." Sougo smirked.

"Sadist. What am I supposed to do?" Kagura groaned.

"Watch me be awesome, China." The boy smirked.

"Yeah…I'll laugh when your body's zipped up." Kagura smirked. "No worries, Sadist, I'll pick up the slack for yah!"

"Enough, let's do this already!" Zoro charged forward, as did Okita.

BLOW! Just as the first blow was struck, it ended just as quickly. "STOP!"

**Gintoki and Mihawk**

There were many things that could confuse Monkey D. Luffy, and normally, the young captain just accepted confusing things to be apart of the world, this was not one of them. He could tell from Ace's face, that his brother was just as confused as he was; no one in either of their crews knew what to make of this. In front of them, in the royal arena, Dracule Mihawk- the world's greatest swordsman, was facing their supposed enemy- 'Permhead Gintoki', Captain of the Odd-Jobs Pirates.

"Ne Vivi." He turned to the princess. "What's going on exactly?"

"I'm not sure, Mihawk-san suddenly asked to use the arena, and said that Permhead-san was his opponent." The girl explained.

"MY NAME IS SAKATA GINTOKI! HOW THE HELL DID 'PERMHEAD' BECOME MY IDENTITY?!" Gintoki yelled at the group.

"Now you know how it feels Gin-san, now you know how it feels. To be lowered as to be identified by an inanimate object." Shinpachi twitched.

"You're not helping Megane! For crying out loud, these people actually think my real name is permhead! Permhead isn't a name! It's an insult! The worst insult ever! It's on the level that labels an innocent man a whore-monger!" Gintoki shouted.

"Now you're not even making sense in Gin-san." Shinpachi sighed and turned to Mihawk. "Mihawk-san, would a standard elimination match suffice?"

"Eh. If this man can last five minutes or defeat me before hand, I shall hand over the sword Red-Haired spoke of." Mihawk answered.

'Shanks?!' Luffy thought. "Oi! Captain Permhead! You know Shanks?! How is he?!"

"First of all, call me Gintoki you brat, secondly- he's fine. The bastard was the one that roped me into this." Gintoki sighed getting into position. "I agree to the terms, let's get this show on the road."

Swinging his sword, Mihawk looked closely at the man before him. "Agreed. But first…tell me extraterrestrial samurai…why are you choosing to help the campaign?"

"Blarp-san promised me I'd get paid. Other than that, no particular reason, really." Gintoki replied. "I just get pissed off at government officials confusing themselves with God. I don't know much of anything in this world or situation, but…Takasugi's involved, and I already hate this Akainu bastard, so can't ignore it. Let's go, I'm wasting time."

Ace stared in astonishment at the man's speech, not expecting it at all. He murmured to himself. "Huh…let's see what you're made of Captain Permhead."

With a blink of an eye, the match started. BAM! Everyone's eyes widened at the sudden impact, but that's when Robin noticed something about Gintoki's weapon. "That man…he's using a wooden sword!"

"WHAT?!" Everyone shouted. Staring at Gintoki's weapon, everyone realized that the woman was indeed right, but was even more shocking that Gintoki's blade was still in one piece after Mihawk's legendary sword. Mihawk stared in shock.

"Interesting…you actually managed to fool my eyes. The way you carry and strike with that blade, it actually made me think you were using a real sword." The swordsman explained. "Tell me, why do you not use a real sword? Do you dare underestimate me?"

"No, I treat all my opponents the same. By using this sword, I acknowledge you as another opponent who needs an ass-whooping." Mihawk and the others stared. "In all honesty, metal swords are too expensive in upkeep and purchase, so I don't bother with them usually. Also, any opponents who underestimate me because of my sword, are doomed in the fight to begin with. From your expression, you've never practiced with a wooden sword."

"Wooden swords are a waste of time; beyond beginner level, there's no practical use, and cannot cut sufficiently. It actually amuses me that you face me using that piece of rubbish. Tell me, did Red-Haired and Garp not tell you who I am?" He laughed.

"You know Gramps too?!" Luffy spoke up.

"We met briefly." Shinpachi addressed the Strawhat boy.

"Ah." Gintoki answered. "They told me what kind of man you are, and what to expect from you. Got to say…you kind of insult your reputation. Takes more than skill to be the world's greatest swordsman- takes a hell of a lot of respect too!" STRIKE! Gitnoki charged forward, and struck his blade against Mihawk; the older man managed to block the blade instantly, but wasn't prepared for Gintoki's kick. The blow sent the man several feet away.

"Tch. Physical attacks aren't allowed in a sword fight." Mihawk glowered. SLASH! Unfortunately, Gintoki wasn't as nimble as the older man, and was hit with the blast.

"GIN-SAN!" Shinpachi yelled.

"See? A man who isn't even disciplined enough to stick to swordsmanship couldn't possibly hope to wield one of my blades. Honestly, what kind of man are you? Desperately clinging to childhood with that wooden sword, barging into this universe claiming to be from an undiscovered island, and then cause all this chaos? Clinging to the past, solves nothing." Mihawk raised his blade. "It was a pleasant meeting, Permhead-san."

CRACK! Mihawk didn't move, he stared at his sword, his eyes widened, refusing to believe what they were seeing. The blade of his sword had been halved, and nailing a piece of the black blade, was the flimsy wooden sword he made fun of so much. "You're right." Turning back to Gintoki abruptly, he saw the man standing there, his arm still retracted from throwing the sword. Gintoki walked passed the stunned swordsman, ignoring the crowd; picking his sword out of the wall. He kept his back turned to Mihawk. "Coming to you was a waste of time. The thing about basics is that they're the foundation of the strength and skill we possess, the further you advance, you naturally lose appreciation for them, so it's understandable. But for someone who claims to be a master swordsman, I can't say I'm too impressed that you have this habit. I find it hard to believe a man blinded by his own ego, could carry a sword great enough to defeat the World Government."

"…" Mihawk was at a lost of words. He had not only lost, but had been force-fed his own words.

"Oi…" Sanji spoke up, breaking the tension. "We heard that you and your crew have been going around our home islands, what's up with that?"

Shinapchi looked between his mentor and the stranger, going to Gintoki's side. The megane sighed. "You're Black-leg Sanji right?" Sanji nodded. "Zeff-san told us about you, nice guy…he and Garp could be cousins."

"So you did meet Gramps and Shanks! Are they okay?! What'd you do to our islands?!" Luffy demanded, now remembering why they were chasing the duo.

"Oi, Luffy…Kaya didn't say anything bad about them, so we can't really take what Jinbe-san said that seriously, can we?" Ussop pointed out.

'Jinbe?' Shinpachi raised a brow.

"But why would Jinbe-san lie?" Chopper pointed out. "Also, they didn't hit my home island; the Cipher Pole people did."

"How about we start over…" Gintoki and Shinpachi flinched at the skeleton. "I'm Dead-Bones Brook, musician of the Strawhats, why were you on our islands?"

"Unfortunate coincidence and kidnapping; sounds like conspiracy as well." Shinpachi sighed. "Listen everyone, we really didn't mean any harm towards your islands; what happened was: the World Government had put strangleholds over them, and prevented them from contacting you for help. But we promise, we didn't do anything to hurt them."

"This is bad." Haruta spoke up. "If what they say is true, then that means Jinbe-san has been feeding us false information. Permhead-san…we were told that you were the ones that seized the islands, and were conspiring with the World Government's new fraction."

"Oi, oi, oi don't tell me disturbing things after an epic moment." Gintoki sighed. "Besides, I figured this already. But no worries, now that we're all here, the air's clear, we can start over."

"Timing couldn't be better." Sougo and Kagura show up out of nowhere.

"YOU!" Gintoki pointed at them. "WHERE WERE YOU TWO! AND SOUJI! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?! IS EVERYONE I HATE IN EXISTENCE HERE OR SOMETHING?!"

"We were catching up Gin-chan, and those Cipher Pole people had important stuff to do after their announcement." Kagura spoke.

"Announcement?" Ace frowned at the young officer and girl.

"Eh." Zoro stepped out from behind him. "The Navy and World Government finally made their move- they captured Monkey d. Dragon. Luffy…they have your father."

**Review Please! So my main plot twist is revealed, I hope yah like it! So for Gintoki and Mihawk's fight, I have several things to say. One: I love Mihawk, I think between him and Gintoki it'd be an extremely close fight, and they'd both end up near dead at the end. Two: I love Mihawk, he's one of the most powerful characters in One Piece, but he's also extremely arrogant, which clouds his judgement at times- like his first initial opinion of Zoro when Zoro first meets him at the beginning of the series. He assumes Zoro is just some immature brat, but in the end, he surprises Mihawk. **

**Lastly, I honestly couldn't decide who would win, so I jsut flipped a coin. Gintoki had tails. So if you have any questions, comments, or concerns, review or PM me!  
**


	20. Middle School Counselor

**Hey guys! Next chapter is here! Not as much as response as I was hoping for with Luffy's dad and all, but ah well! Thank you Assault Gorilla! So here's the next chapter! Read, enjoy, review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama**

So…how exactly did we get these stupid nicknames?" The Odd-Jobs trio stared at their wanted posters in disgust and scarification. Upon meeting and collaborating, everyone was finally on the same page about what was going on. After clearing their innocence with the Whitebeard and Strawhat crew members, as well as getting the whole situation explained by Lucci and Kalifa, everyone settled into an awkward truce of cooperation. Currently, they were sitting with the Strawhat crewmembers- Chopper and Ussop, while everyone else was still letting the information sink in. Zoro made his dislike for Gitnoki clear by refusing to believe that a 'lazy' samurai like him, couldn't defeat Mihawk.

"Well…these came out about two weeks ago, so…" Chopper explained weakly, having experience with bad wanted poster pictures, he could easily emphasize with their feelings. He couldn't blame them- Gintoki's picture was terrible- it was picture was his hair…and apart of his head…that was it. The bounty was a solid 100,000,000- standard start-up.

"WHAT THE HELL?! WHEN DID MY IDENTITY SUDDENLY BECOME MY HAIR?!" He yelled. "Who's responsible for this?! I demand to be taken to the Navy's photography department!"

"Gin-chan…they're not bad, my name's just stupid, while yours suits you perfectly. You're the one who refuses to fix your hair." Kagura pointed out.

"My hair's a style-choice, and you're not the one with an identity crisis!" Gintoki yelled. He looked at Kagura's picture- 80,000,000…again, standard-start up. It was merely a picture of her with her parasol flexing her arms. Her title was 'Gorilla Strength Kagura'. She apparently, was annoyed at being compared to Kondo, which Okita vehemently told to never put the image in his head again.

"I can't believe it though, out of all of ours…Megane gets the cool wanted poster." They looked at Shinpachi's poster, and glared at the stupidity of it. "WHAT THE HELL?! HE'S NEVER EVEN DRESSED LIKE THAT! HE'S COSPLAYING JACK SPARROW IN THIS PICTURE!" It was true, it was the signature Jack Sparrow pose with the pistol included. His bounty was only 50,000,000, but still…he even had the coolest name- Demon Eyed Megane.

"Guys…IT DOESN'T EVEN SAY MY NAME IS SHINPACHI! IT JUST CALLS ME MEGANE!" Shinpachi exclaimed. Turning to Chopper, he noted that the little deer hadn't said anything. "So Chopper-san…how are you and your crew doing?"

"Oh! We're still kind of in shock from it all, I mean…other worlds, re-starting the war, Jinbe-san's betrayal, and Dragon-san's…" Chopper spared a glance at Luffy, his captain had been staring out at the horizon from that balcony for the past few hours, and it was beginning to worry him.

"Chopper…just leave it." Ussop sighed. "It's just all so unbelievable. Still though…these Kihetai and Mimiwarigumi guys…are they tough?"

"Well they're leader is the master of gun, pen, and blade, so slightly." Sougo suddenly appeared, and wrapped his arms around form behind Kagura's seat. "I know those guys well enough to develop a solid strategy, it's the Kihetai that's going to be a problem." Sparing a glance at Gintoki, he sighed. "Danna…you know the most about Takasugi…we'll need you to develop a plan of attack for that end."

"It's doable…what about the Navy and World Government goons?" Gintoki pointed out.

"Lucci and Kalifa are working with Robin and the Whitebeard crew for that, and…there's still the issue with this Jinbe-guy. Strawhat-san and everyone but us, seems to refuse to believe it." Sougo sighed.

"What's our next move then? Are we a united front or not? Also, Okita-san…why is the Shinsengumi involved in this?" Shinpachi asked hesitantly.

"You're going to love this Megane." Sougo let out a bitter laugh. "About a day after you left, Matsudaira-Ossan, gave us a diplomatic mission to do some kind of merger with another military force. When I saw the Kihetai and Harusame…I put two and two together and and figured they were going to use this opportunity to eliminate me, Mayora, and Kondo-san and take over the Shinsengumi. Can you believe your brother's fucking that skank, China?"

"Let me him curdle in his own fesces, uh-huh!" She ignored the shocked expressions of her language.

"Who knows? Either way, these guys are with us or against us, we have to go to war with the World Government here it sounds like." Gintoki sighed. "And if we want to save this Dragon-person, we probably should hurry."

"We need Luffy's approval for that and he's not…" Luffy hadn't spoken or moved since he received the news of his father's capture. Chopper was worried for his captain.

"Really? Geez, first it was overthrowing a corrupt government, and now counseling- when will it end?! When will I get paid?!" Gintoki made a dramatic sigh and stood, heading towards Luffy.

"OI!" Ussop stood up.

"Matte!" Chopper went to stop him, but both were blocked by the other-worldlies.

"It's okay…Gintoki knows what he's doing." Shinpachi sighed. "If we want this operation to be a success, then…everyone needs to be able to move forward. We don't know how long we have, and it sounds like the Navy is pretty close to winning the game. It's now or never."

With reluctance, the other crewmembers noticed Chopper and Ussop's reactions, and allowed Gintoki to see their captain. When the samurai was at the entryway of the balcony, he deiced to speak. "Mind if I stare mindlessly into space with you."

"Do what you want, permhead." Luffy replied; Gintoki resisted the urge to strangle the boy. Leaning out to look out at the scenery as the rubber boy, he tried again. "Heard you weren't taking the news well."

"Why were you dressed as the Alabasta king?" Luffy's question made the man go pale. "Your crewmates didn't enter here without causing trouble, why couldn't you?"

"It was…an unusual circumstance. What I thought was a women's locker room, turned out to be something from a healthy man's nightmare." Gintoki answered uneasily.

"You and Sanji should hang out sometime." The rubber boy snorted. "My crew and I will help, this fight was left unfinished two years ago when Ace was captured; they also hurt Whitebeard-Ossan, someone Ace cares about. So don't worry about it! We'll help in this war!"

"Really? You look like you're about to go on a massacre than win a war. Big difference, trust me." The samurai advised, ignoring Luffy's glare. "I don't care what you say about not killing people being your policy,the vengeance on your face is as clear as day, don't deny it."

"What difference does it make?" Luffy huffed.

"Simple. You go in for vengeance you lose everyone but yourself in a battle, go in with a clear head…you get beat up, but you and your men are alive. It's a simple difference. Also, from what your grandpa told me…Dragon-san wasn't the type to be around." The samurai observed.

"I didn't even know I had a dad until two years ago…I still can hardly believe it…I still keep thinking to myself that he's dead, but now…the Navy might actually…" Luffy sighed. "It's just like before, they're using dad to lure out his crewmates to kill them; just like they did with Ace and Whitebeard."

"Ah. My question is…are you willing to put yourself though it again?" Gintoki asked.

"I should want to…I should be angry and panicked at the Navy killing dad, but…I can't for some reason, so…"

"You're confused, angry, and frustrated." Gintoki deduced, earning a nod. "You're still young, so it's normal for you to have resentment to dead-beat parents. But...isn't that all the more reason to beat the crap out of him after you rescue him? You've got a lot of questions you want answered, you wanna bet Blarp-san will be able to answer them?"

Blinking, Luffy suddenly broke out into a huge grin and jumped to give Gintoki a hug. "Thanks Captain Perhead! I feel loads better! You're right! I can beat the crap out of dad for the trouble, and demand answer!"

"Whatever! Don't get mushy!" He pulled the boy off him.

"I'm gonna go tell everyone! Thanks again!" Luffy ran off. Watching the boy run off, Gintoki sighed and took in the air.

"Thanks for doing that." A voice made the samurai jump. He turned to see a young man who looked several years older than Luffy, Gintoki remembered him as Ace.

"Ah. You're Gol. D. Ace, right?" PUNCH! Barely dodging the blow, Gintoki stared at the boy in shock for a moment. "What the fuck's your problem?!"

"NEVER. Call me that name!" Ace glared at the man. "I am Portgas D. Ace, I took that name from my mother, and I refuse to acknowledge that I'm related to that good for nothing man!"

"Yeesh…someone's got family issues. My last name's made up, and even I'm not mad over it. Must be nice, to have two last names to choose from." Gintoki glowered harshly; the younger man froze up at that. "Sorry. I first heard you're name from a naval officer of some kind, and I didn't see any wanted posters of you, so I just assumed you went by that name. My bad." Ace relaxed a little at the explanation, but still kept his guard up. "Anyways…if we're clear about this whole 'name' issue, are you on board wit this whole 'War Rematch' thingie?"

"Ah. I just talked to Pops, he's all for it. But we wants a solid plan of attack before we do anything." Ace replied.

"First we need to gather troops and find this Jinbe-person." Gintoki sighed. "Next…figure out when the execution date is."

"I can answer that." Mihawk stepped out of the shadows carrying a normal samurai sword wrapped in black sand paper. "They'll restart the war on the very day it was declared."

"The anniversary." Ace sighed. "That's in a week from now."

"Poetic of them, isn't it?" Mihawk nodded and turned to Gintoki. "While the situation itself has been explained, the plan of attack has yet to be explored. This is partially my fault and I apologize; Sakata-san I apologize for my rudeness and behavior earlier, you have proven yourself a worthy swordsman and a trusted advocate. However…due to the devil fruit abilities of most of the soldiers, you will have to use this sword. It isn't seastone, however it's just as resistant."

"Can't argue with that logic." Gintoki sighed. "What's this thing made out of?"

"Sounds good. So what's the sword made of?" Gintoki asked.

"It's actually a golden encrusted, stone blade- made entirely of basalt and stainless steel. The basalt is a natural enemy of devil fruits, and can repel any power. The stainless steel is light and quick enough for efficient strikes, but durable enough for a waring battle. The gold specifically designed not to melt onto your hands not get hot, so wielding it won't be a problem." He eyed the man critically. "Can you wield this blade, Sakata Gintoki?"

"Probably." Giving it a few wings, he put the sword back in its hilt. "Any idea where to find this Jinbe-san?"

"I've located Jinbe to being held captive on Amazon Lilly, before we do anything, you must retrieve him from there. We need to know why he's been feeding us false information as well as possible information he's betrayed, as well as why." Mihawk replied.

"It's a bit heavy, but…" After a few swings, he sheathed it and put it on his waist. "I'll manage. Now, onto the other main reason why we're here- One Piece!"

"What about it?" Ace and the other pirates frowned.

"We were told by this Shanks guy that it was here, uh-huh! The One Piece treasure, uh-huh!" Kagura piped.

"Excuse me." Nico Robin interrupted. "By One Piece treasure, do you mean the Pirate's Eye Diamond?"

"HUH?" All the pirates in the room, stopped in their tracks.

"Yes, the Pirate's Eye Diamond was a legendary treasure that had supposedly formed when the islands of Skypia rose to the clouds. It is said to have the combined properties of minerals, sea water, and molten lava. Legend has it, that whoever who possesses the diamond is said to gain the power to over ride the sea." The archeologist finished.

"Yes! That's it! That the whole reason why we came to this planet! In search of that stupid diamond! Everyone's been accusing of hearsay, and disrespecting the pirate dream or whatever the hell that is! But we've been after something completely different the whole time!" Gintoki exclaimed.

"Nico-san, do you have any idea where the diamond is? We were hired by someone to find it." Shinpachi reasoned.

"Eh. Supposedly it is on Skypia, but recent claims have been in Amazon Lilly." She smiled.

"Hey, that's where Hancock lives!" Luffy exclaimed.

"That's great, how do we get there?" Shinpachi asked eagerly.

"Hold on, we need to focus on the war, not some random diamond." Vista pointed out.

"Actually it could go hand in hand, Luffy-san, didn't you say Jinbe-san knew Hancock? Maybe he's hiding there." Ussop suggested.

"So it's settled! We go to the island where the diamond is, and we'll meet up with you later for this war –thingie!" Gintoki suddenly shouted.

"Two things!" Nami piped up. "For one thing, now that we know your intentions, how do we know that we can trust you to return?"

"Simple. That Blarp-guy said the only way we'd get paid is if we followed through with this whole damned mission. So to clarify, my mission's to retrieve Jinbe and the diamond and meet up with you guys at the start of the Marineford War right?" The permhead asked.

The group looked uncertain, until Ace spoke up. "I think that's a solid enough plan, but how will you guys get around without a ship or navigator?"

"Oh that…" Gintoki sweatdropped, and turned to the Shinsengumi officer. "You and those Cipher Pole people know how to get around right? You can-"

"Unfortunately, while Officer Okita is free to go, we must stay here at the palace and discuss strategy with the king. Also, we are waiting for Revolutionary Dragon's forces in the Blue Regions to meet up here, which includes Dr. Kureha and Admiral Aokiji at this point." Lucci replied. "You're welcome to our ship, but we cannot navigate you."

"PLEASE!" Gintoki grabbed the front ends of Lucci's shirt. "For once I might get paid! I never get paid for the jobs I do! Do you have any idea how frustrating that is?! I do all this hard work, and I'm just given battles and thankless lackeys! Seriously! The last time I helped someone, I nearly got annihilated by a giant Elizabeth army!"

"It's not just the issue of navigation, we'd need to make sure you'd have someone to bring yah back." Franky spoke up.

"May I get a word in?" Nico Robin gracefully raised her hand. Okita frowned at the woman, he noticed that her skin had gone completely pale from her old picture that Aokiji had showed him. "Captain-san, I would like to volunteer to escort Odd-Jobs to Amazon Lilly; they'll need a woman for entrance, and I do believe that there are various historical structures there that would be interesting to study. Also, I would like to speak to Jinbe-san directly about his betrayal. Or would you like to, Captain?"

Luffy frowned. "I don't like one of my nakama going off with another pirate crew. But I want answers out of Jinbe!"

"Then it's settled!" Nami clapped her hands. "We all go to pick up Jinbe, we agreed here?"

"I AGREE NAMI-SWAN! BESIDES! THE BEAUTIFUL ISLAND OF HEAVENLY MAIDENS!" Sanji proclaimed.

"Could be worse." Zoro shrugged.

"Better not to split up in this case." Franky nodded.

"I vote with what Nami-san said!" Ussop said.

"Okay!" Chopper and Brook consented.

Ace frowned and spoke up at the eager crew. "Shouldn't we stick together for now, though? I mean, the Navy's probably combing these waters for us, and-"

"On the contrary." Mihawk spoke. "Now that the Navy's secured Dragon they won't bother searching for us, they'll be focusing on setting up the surveillance for the execution. So right now, it's actually a fairly safe time to be sailing these waters."

The other Whitebeard commanders agreed, but Ace still had his reservations. It was mainly because he didn't want to be separated from Luffy; while the boy never showed it, Luffy found the issue surrounding his father very sensitive. He didn't like talking about him, and didn't even like looking at his flyer. Another reason was so that Ace could punch the old bastard out for leaving his son; unlike Roger, Dragon had the choice of staying with his son, but chose to leave him. He looked once again at his younger brother, who still held his thoughtful expression. "You okay with this Lu?"

Looking at his eager crewmates and the new pirate crew, Luffy couldn't help but feel slightly hesitant. It wasn't that the situation made him nervous so much as, he felt very unnerved. First, the Navy and World Government had managed to put strangle-holds on their home islands and they hadn't even noticed. Secondly, they had to rely on complete strangers to save the most intimate places on the planet to them. Lastly, Jinbe…why did Jinbe say they were attacking the islands, when they heard the exact opposite from the residents? Clenching his fists, Luffy looked up at his crew. "I've decided! We're going to Amazon Lilly! Franky, get Sunny up and ready, we move out today."

"Yosh!" Franky pounded his fist together.

While everyone was talking, Okita didn't drop his suspicious stare of Robin. Kagura noticed this and pouted. "You staring at another woman Sadist?"

Pulling her into a half-embrace, Sougo rested his chin on her head. "No. Just keeping an eye out for bugs."

**Meanwhile**

A man with long hair and tattooed body groaned and struggled to sit up in his cell. He had been captured a day ago, and had been informed that instead of making the mandatory stop at Impel Down to be processed, he was going straight to Marineford. Dragon wanted to hit himself for his stupidity, he had followed those damned Odd-Jobs pirates, which lead him into a fight with a couple strange men- a guy in a white coat on some type of contraption called a cellphone; a man dressed n black saying random things about music, and a guy in a purple kimono who smorked a pipe. They were top commanders of the new alligance from what he could tell, and had obviously used the Odd-Jobs pirates to lure him into a trap.

Suddenly a door to his cell opened, he looked up and saw the last person he wanted to see. Even now, the red smirking bastard couldn't help but rub the victory in his face. "I've seen you look better…Monkey D. Dragon."

"Same to you…Sakazuki." Dragon replied.

BANG! The man's giant foot came straight at the seastone cage; the only reason why it didn't simply collapse. "I told you twenty two years ago not to call me that, and I meant it. You never had right to address me by my name, and I'll see to it you never do."

"So you've been looking forward to this for a long time, huh?" Dragon replied sarcastically. Of course the bastard had looked forward to this, twenty two years ago he had essentially scarred the man's life forever. It was the same year as the Ohara incident, which was a direct result in Dragon's actions.

"Ah. If it were up to me, I'd simply off you here and toss your useless body in the ocean. But Sengoku insists on a public execution, and with Whitebeard's failing health and your group's panic, there won't be any chance. The great war will finally be finished, you should feel honored to have such a privilege." Akainu continued. "I just have one question before you die: where is she? Where'd you burry her?"

The tattooed man looked away in guilt. "She…requested that you not know."

"Tch! Even at the gates of hell you won't grant your old friend his last wish! You haven't changed in the least in the years have you Dragon? Still the bastard coward who went off with your best friend's sister!" The angry admiral shouted.

"You didn't approve!" Dragon exclaimed. He sighed and calmed himself down. "After Roger was executed you changed, you turned from a law-abiding officer into a blood-thirsty tyrant! For crying outloud! She never wanted to be married to him!"

"URUSAI!" Noticing that his magma was coming out, Akainu took a few short breaths to calm himself down. "You will have two guards assigned to your cell; you escape, they die along with you." He walked away from the cell, and opened the door to the brink.

"For what it's worth she did miss you…but…"

"Just shut up. If you're not going to tell me where she's buried, then I have nothing more to say to you." Akainu slammed the door, leaving Dragon alone. The Revolutionary gave a sad sigh, it would take awhile for him to get out of this one, he just hoped his comrades could keep his son away.

**Review please! Before anyone jumps to conclusions, I'm' just going to say that the woman they're talking about is NOT Portgas D. Rouge. Review or PM me like usual, if any questions!**


	21. Drunken Bar Fights

**Hey guys! So I have a bit of an announcement, but before that: Sorry Assault Godzilla-san, I got your name right now, right? But my announcment is also an apology: I am going on hiatus. You see, I'm on my last term of college, and I'm actually close to writing my first book, and I want to get it published by the end of Novemeber. So to do this, I'm going to dedicate all my writing enerhy into this book, and I'm also looking for a job. Look for my book on new releases on Amazon in the next month or so! For anyone who has any questions about my story, please PM or leave it in the review!  
**

**So this is my last chapter for awhile, so read, enjoy, review!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama  
**

Jinbe grunted as he struggled in his cell; Amazon Lilly was known for it's pretentious attitude certainly, he just wish they had advertised their prisons just as well. He was currently under the palace in the 'exfoliating' section of the prison; it was a well-calculated move. Outside his cell was a wooden heater and basalt rocks; emitting heat waves that could kill an elephant. Basically, he was trapped in a high-powered sauna. Fishmen had very little weaknesses, but the few ones they did were major ones. He didn't have a devil fruit and he was particularly strong even amongst his species' standard, but he was prone to the universal weakness all fishman faced- humidity! Anything that dried out moisture was a fishman's enemy, so sauna's were the equivalent of a cold cell to a human. He was using so much effort to keep the water in his skin in, that he didn't have the strength to destroy his shackles and escape this damned island!

Hearing his door open, Jinbe looked to see who had come in. He frowned at the short elder in front of him- Elder Nyon. "Luffy-kun called in and said they'd be stopping in for a visit. Apparently those Odd-Jobs you had described earlier have actually been relinquishing the World Government's hold on the Blue regions. He described them as stupid, blunt, and unreliable, but they're good people he said. They will be stopping in and taking you along for the commencement ceremony, which at this point is…"

"Monkey D. Dragon's execution." Jinbe finished.

"What is this Jinbe…why would you lie about such good people?" Nyon questioned.

Looking down, Jinbe sighed. "It was…I had to repay a debt."

"So am I also to assume you not only lead this Takasugi-san to Dragon's location, but assisted in his capture?" The woman glowered.

"Yes. It is true." Jinbe confirmed.

"Then the only question I have is: why?" She asked.

"Lucinda." He answered bluntly. Nyon's eyes widened as he said this. "Lucinda? What does she have to do with this?"

"Like those invaders, Odd-Jobs also come from a different universe, but they came here for different purposes." He started. "I initially heard they were after One Piece, but from the description, I didn't think that was right. They kept saying they were after the 'One Piece Treasure', not One Piece. Tell me Nyon, at what point, have you met any pirate or marine address the greatest treasure of our world in such a way?"

"Get to the point already." The elder narrowed her eyes.

"I had a hunch and did a little digging; and as I suspected, they aren't' after Roger's treasure. They're after something else; Elder Nyon, I'm sure you've heard of the 'Pirate Eye's Diamond'." Jinbe suggested.

Narrowing her eyes, the elder adhered to him. "Of course I do! About eight hundred years ago, when the sky islands rose to the sky, the took with them the very first treasure from the oldest pirate crew on record. In other words, they supposedly took the world's first pirate treasure. Of course, many people in the sea and sky tried to find the lost treasure but found nothing, but supposedly it was because it wasn't a massive treasure, just-"

"One piece." Jinbe finished.

"You can't be serious! That's what they've actually been after! How stupid can they get?! Do they have any idea just how dangerous it is to say something like that?! Honestly…do I even want to know how many enemies they've made already?" Nyon sighed in exasperation.

"Yes, that was later cleared up by Luffy-kun." The fishman nodded.

"Wait a minute, are you saying that the Odd-Jobs might possibly be in lead with this Takasugi-bastard?!" Nyon demanded.

"No, from what I could tell, he nor his men were interested in treasure at all." Jinbe sighed.

"Then what the hell do Odd-Jobs and the diamond have to do with your betrayal?!" Nyon demanded.

"Lucinda was the diamond's caretaker." Jinbe revealed.

"WHAT?! Why didn't you tell me sooner you-" Cutting herself off, Nyon cleared her throat. "Regardless, what does that have to do with anything?"

"…You're aware of Lucinda's family right?" He asked uneasily.

"You mean how she eloped when she became of legal age? Can't say I was happy about it, but when she turned 17, she left this island to pursue her dream of history. And in that, she took all of her belongings, which included the diamond if she had it-" Nyon's eyes widened. "OH HELL NO!"

"Yes, the Odd-Jobs crew are also coming here with the impression that the diamond is also here." Jinbe sighed.

"DAMMIT! I thought Lucinda left the thing with Gandalf! That thing brought nothing but bad luck!" Nyon exclaimed. "I even made up that damned cover story! Wait a minute, are saying that Skypia no longer has the diamond?!" Nyon demanded.

"I don't know the fate of the diamond, but that's beside the point!" Jinbe growled. "So…you know that she eloped but don't know she married?"

"Why are you asking me questions you already know? Was she not friends with Queen Otohime?" Nyon barked but answered. "As I've said before, Lucinda was not born on this island, but was dropped off here by her brother. As woman of noble decent, she was expected to marry another man of the same status or higher, but refused that lifestyle; being more interested in independence and history. That brother of hers, demanded she stay on Amazon Lilly until she wised up to her situation and grew up. But what he didn't realize that once he relinquished her custody to Amazon Lilly, she was under our rules and not his. I wasn't here for her departure, but at age 17 she left to pursue her own dreams, and apparently eloped with a childhood friend. Now what does that have to do with anything at all?!"

"Lucinda…never told you the name of her brother or family name, did she?" The fishman sighed sadly at what he had to tell her.

"No, why?" Nyon was getting to the level of murderous irritation at this point.

"…I'm not sure how to say this but…first let me explain why I betrayed Dragon." Jinbe started. "As a member of a noble family, Lucinda was one of the frequent human representatives that came to Fishman Island, and in that…became fairly close to Queen Otohime, and in that I came to know her as well. Lucinda's family had been placed in charge of guarding the Pirate's Eye Diamond, and held the secrets of the true history behind it as well. She was a great friend to the queen, and a good person to talk to. Despite all the responsibility and the environment she grew up in, she was very lively, boisterous, unrefined, ate a lot, and absolutely loved adventure. She often snuck out of the palace with the queen."

"Get to the point already." Nyon sighed.

"I met up with her briefly when she was in her mid twenties; Roger had been executed for about two and half years already. She had already married at that point, and was even pregnant. She was happy to see me, but I could tell she was worried." Jinbe sighed at the memory. "We caught up a fair amount, but at the end of the meeting she requested two things of me that shocked me: 'if you see a man that calls himself Dragon, please don't tell him you saw me'. When I asked her why, she simply said it was a secret."

"Dragon?! You don't mean-"

"Yes, I was as shocked as you were." Jinbe sighed. "When I asked her to confirm my suspicions, she didn't deny it, and said it bluntly: 'Yep, Monkey D. Dragon is my husband,'. I yelled at her for her nonchalance, and she simply stated that there was no need to freak out about it, at this point."

"Wait a minute, if what you're saying is true then-"

"Eh. Sakazuki Lucinda is indeed the mother of Monkey D. Luffy. She explained that due to her husband's blatancy, that they couldn't be together at the moment, and that she had to keep moving. She was the one who gave Luffy his name." Jinbe explained.

"I…don't understand…Jinbe-san…then why?" Nyon was practically speechless.

"Because I had to adhere to my other promise to her: if for any reason she or her husband is captured, that I was to protect their child's identity. She absolutely did not want anyone knowing who she or Dragon were to Luffy." The fishman answered.

"Well the whistle's blown on the second one." The old woman scratched her head.

"Indeed, so I had to do my best in keeping her identity safe." Jinbe replied.

"I still don't get it, how does capturing her husband and having him executed spare the rod here exactly?" She asked.

"It wasn't me who had that idea it was…Akainu." Jinbe sighed.

"Admiral Akainu? What does he have to do with anything? How did he find out?" Nyon was now genuinely confused.

"Lucinda was…Akainu's younger sister."

**Meanwhile- Above the Palace**

Hancock was fretting over everything with her clothes and hair; even though Luffy had formally rejected her feelings, that didn't mean she couldn't make prepare herself or a feast to welcome him! Not to mention, he was bringing his crewmembers and couple of guests she couldn't care less about! If she made a good impression on his crewmates, then that mean she might have a greater chance of getting deeper into his life! Not to mention, Nami and Robin…the two women in his crew, he'd finally be able to meet them and size them up as competition. Though Luffy had claimed he had absolutely no romantic feelings for either of them, she couldn't help but feel threatened by the two women constantly in his life, and it drove her even crazy about not knowing their physical appearance.

"Sister…" Hancock stopped messing with her dress and turned to Sandersonia, who looked at her elder in worry. "Are you sure this is okay…I mean…you and Luffy-kun have just recently found middle ground, and-"

"Nonsense Sonia!" The beauty interrupted. "Just because Luffy does not return my feelings, does not mean I cannot feel the epitomy of affection for him! Besides, no one knows what the future will hold; with this visit, he may fall in love with me!"

"But sister…the two women in his crew…" Marigold pointed out warily.

"Are opportunities!" The eldest declared. "If I show Luffy-kun that I'm not the jealous type, that'll make me more appealing to him!"

"Didn't he say he simply didn't feel that way towards you?" Sonia pointed out.

"But I still have feelings for him." Hancock smiled softly. "He'll always have a special place in my heart, so I have to show him that the door is still open."

"That's true…it'll also be nice to meet Luffy's crew." Marigold remarked. "Did he say anything about that new pirate crew coming with him?"

"Other than that they wanted to interrogate Jinbe-san about the false information, none." Hancock frowned. "However…it's been confirmed that they'll participate in the anniversary."

"Why are they involved? Aren't they new pirates?" Sonia asked.

"Apparently, there are some enemies of theirs on the Navy's side, so they saw no reason to trun down the alliance." Hancock shrugged.

"Still though, it's strange that Luffy-kun would insist on them coming with him. I mean, he knows our rule about no men, and we've already stretched it pretty far for his crew." Marigold pointed out.

"Yes you're right, I suppose." Hancock frowned; why had Luffy been so insistent on these newcomers? From what Hancock knew about them, they had freed the home territories of Luffy and his crewmembers. Her first guess was that they simply wanted to have a peep into this beautiful paradise, but if that had been the case, Luffy probably wouldn't have let them. In fact, the whole conversation she had with Luffy over the Den Den Mushi had been strange- his voice was flatter, sounded more distressed, and seemed distant. She bit her lip, she hoped Luffy hadn't found out about his father- but from what she heard, they weren't even close any ways.

Well whatever it was that was distressing her love, she'd make sure to smash it once she turned it to stone. Now that she thought about it…it might've been those damned Odd-Jobs pirates. "Marigold, do you still have those Odd-Job Wanted Posters?"

"Yes sister." She presented the papers. Hancock studied each of three misrepresented figures carefully. From what she could tell, it seemed as though 'Dead-Eyes Megane' was the most dangerous, while 'Gorilla-Strength Kagura' just looked like an unrefined chimp, and lastly 'Captain Permhead'. She couldn't even tell what she was looking at; it was just a picture of a perm on someone's head. Now the Boa sisters were confused, was it supposed to be a metaphorical joke, or was their captain really just a living scalp with a bad perm?

**Meanwhile: Alabasta**

Aokiji sighed as he pulled his cloak further over his body, how he hated this island. It was too damned hot, the sand got in his eyes, and he could swear that the lizards were taunting him. Not to mention, this particular time around wasn't going to be pleasant; he was supposed to arrive at the palace to meet up with with Mihawk, Shanks, the former Cipher Pole group, several Whitebeard commanders, and their allies at the Alabasta royal palace. From there, they were to confirm everyone alliances and roles and head to Fishman Island; where Whitebard was currently recovering apparently.

"Look alive sonny." He turned to look down on his left, seeing Kureha. She had agreed to come with him on the fact that she heard her leader had been captured, and she was also needed to confirm Aokiji's loyalty to the cause. As much as everyone wanted to believe each other, this was still a deal between pirates and marines, so it had to be handled carefully. "When do you think they'll execute him?"

"Half a week; that's when the War memorial day is." Aokiji raised a brow.

"No you idiot, the time of day. Why would I ask a question I already knew the answer to?!" She snapped.

"I believe it will be dead at noon; they'll probably want to make it as monumental as possible." The former admiral replied.

"I see. Good to know." She said, walking across the sand. "Honestly, when Dragon is free, I'm going to beat the living snot out of him for this! If he was being chased, why the hell didn't he do anything to stop them?!"

"I heard these people are strong, I think they come from elsewhere." Aokiji replied.

"Like that Okita-boy who convinced you to trun over a new leaf?" The old woman snorted.

"He's an evil sadist, but he's a good person. He has his own opinions certainly, but he recognizes what his duties are and gets the job done." The man insisted. "He was…able to make me see the error of my atonement method."

"Tch! Can't believe you've been on Drum Island these past two years and I hadn't noticed! Dragon's never going to let me live this down." She growled. "So…you plan on living up to your end of the bargain if this war is won?"

"You mean that I'll correct the justice system and make life easier for everyone? Yes, I'll do what I can in the limitations of the Fleet Admiral position." Aokiji sighed.

"Not good enough." Kureha interrupted. "Once you get your ass in that seat,you kick it into overdrive to insure 'Proper Justice' is served. No differences in statuses, apologies will be served, you get the idea."

"I'll do what I can." Aokiji repeated.

"You owe it to the men you abandoned at Marineford two years ago." She growled.

Aokiji gave a resigned sigh; he owed to a lot more people than that. "Fine."

"Good, we're at an understanding. Oh look, we're here." Kureha stopped outside the gates. "By the way, where is that Umibozo-san?"

"Ah. While you we took a pit stop, he started lagging behind because apparently the sun's UV rays were too much, so he's either at the palace ahead of us, or just behind us." Aokiji explained.

BANG! The admiral and revolutionary stopped dead-short at the sight of the Alabastan king and two of his subjects that were now on the ground, unconscious in front of them. They were about to panic until: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN SOME PUNK AND CHINA-GIRL DID IT HERE?! DIDN'T YOU STOP THEM?!"

Sweat-dropping, Aokiji spoke. "Seems like he beat us here."

"What's he freaking about exactly?" Kureha asked.

"Ah. Apparently Okita-kun was looking for his girlfriend on the Grand Line, which also happens to be Umibozu-san's daughter. I'm going to assume Odd-Jobs and Okita-kun had a successful reunion based on that reaction." Aokiji replied, scratching his head awkwardly. "The only question is: is whether or not, they're still here."

"I can answer that for you." Looking towards the entrance, Aokiji inwardly groaned; just two years ago he had tried to help kill this man and his captain, and now he had to humble himself into an alliance with him. At twenty three, Portgas D. Ace looked well; he still had the battle scars from the Marineford war, but all-in-all looked fine. He still was shirtless, but he had a giant slash down across his chest from his left side. His brother had a mirrored injury, starting from his right; if they came together, it'd make an x. "Luffy's moved on with his crew and Odd-Jobs went with them. They're going to meet up with us at Marineford."

"Sounds good." Aokiji shrugged. Hopefully this meeting wouldn't be too painful.

**Review please! And remember, I'm going on hiatus until further notice; I'm not stopping the story, just taking a break. Thank you!**


	22. Feeling lazy after naptime

**YO! I'm back! After a long break of writing my book, getting it published, and completing college, I'm back! Now I just need to find a job, bleh! Anyways, this chapter's short because I was trying to remind myself where I was, and trying to get back into the beat of this story. I apologize if this may seem a bit rushed, but it was the best I could come up with at the time. But I hope you guys enjoy it none the less. Not much happens in this chapter- they arrive on Amazon Lilly. So read, enjoy, review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama  
**

The atmosphere aboard the Thousand Sunny was awkward to the say the least. While the Strawhat pirates didn't have anything against the Odd-Jobs group per say, there certain things that clashed deeply between the groups. The first thing was between Gintoki, Sanji, Nami, Robin, and Zoro. The permhead made no secret of his attraction towards the two women, but they simply shut him in the brink or just shut themselves in the women's quarters. Zoro kept trying to challenge Gintoki, but the lazy permhead's laziness was driving the marimo crazy with refusal. Lastly, Sanji was about ready to murder Gintoki. His constant demand for sugar ontop of every single one of the chef's dishes was driving him insane; a blasphemy against cooking, Sanji called it. And Gitnoki's come-ons to Nami and Robin didn't help.

Next there was Shinpachi. While the megane didn't have any real problems with anyone; it was driving him crazy with what Luffy, Chopper, and Ussop were doing. While he mainly spent his time in the library reading with Robin, Luffy, Ussop and Chopper kept insisting on kidnapping him and forcing him to tell stories of Odd-Jobs adventures. Also, they wouldn't stop calling him megane, no matter how much he asked them to stop.

But the biggest problems were coming form Sougo and Kagura. Given that Sougo initially collaborated and worked with CP9, they were naturally suspicious of him. Also, the fact that two of his comrades were with the Navy who had their captain's father hostage, also didn't help, and he was also an officer of the law, himself in his own world. Kagura wasn't much better off than Sougo; she was far too rude and opaque for Robin or Nami, and she kept getting into fights with Franky about her accidentally punching holes into the ship. The fights she got into with Luffy didn't help in the slightest. Really, the only one who got along with Odd-Jobs was Brook, and that was because he scared the shit out of them. No, the biggest problem stemmed from the relationship of Kagura and Sougo- their sleeping arrangement.

Really, The Thousand Sunny never had an issue about room arrangement before; hell the history of the Strawhats never had this issue. It was always boys were in one side of the ship, girls were in the other. But the sandy blonde refused to leave it at that, and demanded he slept with Kagura. Which caused a huge argument between him and Sanji; saying that he should also be in the girl's quarters to chaperone them, which earned him a giant lump from Nami. Sougo's retort that he didn't care where the hell he slept so long as Kagura was beside him. Apparently, being deprived form his girlfriend for over a week was making the bishounen on edge. Eventually, everyone compromised and just let the couple sleep in the crow's nest, seeing as how no one was happy that way.

Currently, it was the middle of the day, with about two days of travel left before reaching Amazon Lilly. Shinpachi was currently hanging out with Robin in the library, reading up on the Marineford war; Gintoki was bugging Sanji for sweets while hiding from the marimo and musician, while Franky was busy preparing the damage from Sougo and Kagura's brawls, and Lluffy, Ussop, and Chopper were up to their usual. Which meant…"MEGANE!"

Looking up form his book, he adjusted his glasses. "Again, it's Shinpachi, what do you lot want now?"

"We want to hear another adventure! Tell us another funny one! The one where Permhead turned into a cat with Zura and Gorilla was hysterical!" Ussop yelled.

"Yeah! Tell an action story this time, Megane!" Luffy added.

"Yes! Happy ending!" Chopper finished.

"You'd get in serious trouble for saying that last one, Chopper-kun." Shinpachi shivered, thinking of Tsukuyo. "But anyways, I suppose I can tell you about the Patriot incident."

"Patriot incident? Were you guys getting money for something?" Ussop asked.

"Iya, nothing like that. A blight on creativity, somehow became a fad in Kabukicho. And it all started with a kid's career day." Shinpachi sighed. He noticed an annoyed look at him from the historian. "Oh uh…come one guys, let's go."

Smiling, the woman returned to her reading. "A wise decision, Shimura-kun."

**Meanwhile at Alabasta**

Umibozu's bald head gleamed n the sunlight as he stared down everyone at the meeting table. In front of him was a Spanish swordsman, a one-armed pirate captain and his crew, a bunch of 'Whitebeard' pirates and their allies, the Alabasta king and guards, and finally- a hot princess! Oh, and he couldn't forget the old doctor and the former admiral! Between the shouting and the arguments, it gave him a headache, but it didn't matter! He didn't give a damn about freedom or justice! All he cared about was how his daughter and that 'boy' had committed the ultimate sin the king's bed, and no one had tried to stop them! His cute daughter, she had become woman in that condemned bed that had been destroyed.

Forcing his anger aside, he spoke. "So now that the party's over, let's get some work done! So the first thing we need to do is establish a strategy to storm Marineford! Any ideas?!"

"Generally storming the place helps." Ace replied.

"That's a brilliant option!" The bald man said. "Any other ideas?"

"If I could interject a word…" Mihawk raised a hand. "We need too discuss the situation of Monkey D. Dragon. Fire Fist, do you have any word from Monkey D. Garp?"

"The crazy old man said he wasn't participating in the war along with us, but he'd be there." Ace scratched the back of his head. "Can't say I agree with the idea though." Consdiering that the old man didn't even bother to life a finger to help him during his own execution, he was less than hopeful for Garp's participation.

"When are the Revolutionaries arriving?" Aokiji spoke up.

"In good time." The old woman spoke. "We'll regroup when we know what positions Whitebeard's ships will be in."

"That reminds me." Aokiji spoke, suddenly remembering Sougo said to him. "There's someone that I think Whitebeard should be worried about." The respective cremates instantly turned to him, for further details. "That other-world officer mentioned something about the man he fought on Drum Island, he said that he had the desire to fight the world's strongest man. Trying to remember his name…had long pinkish-hair in a braid, pale skin…sound familiar to anyone."

"I can confirm that." Umibozu said with a sigh. "That man you're talking about is my son, Yato Kamui, my oldest and most dangerous child. Yeah, he mentioned he wanted to fight this Whitebeard guy too."

"Why does he want to fight Pops?" Ace narrowed his eyes at the baldy.

"It's nothing personal against your captain, it's just him following the Yato way. You see, despite my appearance, I'm not human, and neither is my daughter or son. We are an alien race among the Amanto, the prestigious Yato clan. We're not only known for being the strongest beings in existence, but we're known for seeking out the strongest and fighting them in sudden-death matches. It's nothing personal, I swear; it's just instinct."

"Do you want to fight pops then?" Vista questioned.

"No, I am a trans-universal bounty hunter, I don't have time for petty fights like that. My son on the other hand, is head of a trans-universal space pirate fleet, so just does as he pleases! He always looks for people to fight, regardless of the consequences. As long as their strong he'll fight them, as long as they don't disappoint him in battle, he won't kill them. But I got to warn you, if any of you have witnessed me or my daughter fight…he's a hell of a lot of more vicious. At best, I could tire him out for you, but I can't guarantee a victory." Umibozu explained sadly.

"Kamui-san was with the Navy, so he's bound to be at Dragon's execution." Lucci pointed out. "Can we count on you to take care of Kamui-san?"

"It'll be my pleasure! Together, it'll be a father-daughter fight to the-"

"And now that we're on the subject, does anyone else have any other designated opponents in mind that they want to fight?" Shanks asked.

"I have one." Mihawk spoke, surprising everyone. "I want to fight the head of the Mimiwarigumi, Sasaki Isaburo."

"What about this Takasugi Shinsuke?" Vista asked.

"I believe Sakata-kun has already reserved that slot." Mihawk replied.

"So if we're all agreed then, let's talk strategy." Kurena growled; lord knows they needed one.

**Several Days Later- Strawhat Vessel**

After a long, sleepless voyage, they FINALLY reached Amazon Lilly; the only ones that got sleep were Kagura & Sougo, Luffy, Chopper, Ussop, Franky, and Brook- to put it simply, the first two were content with their arrangements, and the others simply didn't care. The rest of Odd-Jobs and Strawhats had several sleepless days because of the tension, and were frankly at the breaking point of killing each other.

"I SMELL IT! THE SMELL OF AN ALL WOMAN ISLAND!" Sanji yelled, making Shinpachi and Gintoki stare at him in pity and humiliation.

"Gin-san…do you think it's possible that he believes that if he kills himself through embarrassment, he'll earn the respect of a woman?" Shinpachi asked.

"Now, now, Shinpachi-kun you have to remember that romance in adolescence is a fick thing- like picking the perfect fruit from a tree, only to have it rot after a certain amount of time. Don't worry, his time will come." Gintoki said.

"I see, Gin-san…I understand." Shinpachi sihged.

"AAA! Feels great to be up!" Luffy stretched as he emerged from the men's quarter's in the Thousand Sunny. "Hey! We're at the entrance cove! Robin, could you call in and let them know we're here?"

"Of course, Captain-san." The dark haired beauty went to ready the Den Den Mushi. After several seconds, it connected and Robin spoke. "Hello, this is Nico Robin of the Strawhats, requesting permission to enter the island."

After some static, the Den Den Mushi moved its lips. _"Ah yes! You're one of Luffy's crewmates! The dock has been prepared for your arrival, so please come in!"_

"Thank you, please expect us in twenty minutes."

**With Hancock**

Sandersonia, Marigold, and Nyon were staring at the world's greatest beauty in wonder and terror, hoping this wouldn't be the end of all that they knew. Hancock had changed into her ceremonial clothing, with the fur robe with it; she donned herself in her best makeup and jewelry, making her a sight that would put Calypso to shame. "Now then, Luffy-kun will see that I am truly right for him, and that those low-class women are nothing! AHAHAHA!"

"I see, that's good to see you're still confident sister." Sandersonia reasoned.

"Ye! Which reminds me, have a party setup to seize the Thousand Sunny, and thwart thoe two women form the crew! Steal their belongings, find the captain's log, and write their names away! Replace it with my name, for their quarters both will be required for my beauty!"

"So…to insure Luffy will agree to marry you this time, you're stealing the ship?" Nyon sighed. "This is a bad idea…"

"If Oneesama says it must be, then it must be." Marigold shrugged. "Besides, having Lufy around couldn't possibly be a bad thing."

"Luffy isn't the one I'm worried about." Nyon sighed.

**Twenty Minutes Later- The Strawhats dock the island**

"LADIES! BEAUTIFUL LADIES!" Sanji fired off like a bottle rocket of blood, and was currently bleeding out on the dock.

"OH NO! He relapsed!" Chopper exclaimed.

"Someone get him to the hospital!" Ussop added.

"Sanji!" Luffy cried, and outstretched an arm to pull himself to the dock. "OI! Someone get him help!"

"Great, this is going to be worse than Fishman Island…" Nami sighed, earning a headache.

"Agreed. Let us vie our sanity, while we still can." Robin agreed. "But I am agree to see the ruins here, aren't you Nami-san?"

"I'm more interested in the techniques to kick ass!" Nami laughed.

Meanwhile, Shinpachi and Gintoki were staring off into the beautiful crowd of ladies; unlike Sanji, they were drowning in mental nosebleed bliss. "Gin-san…remember when we first arrived here, and we first thought we were in heaven?"

"Yes."

"I was wrong, this is heaven."

"Agreed, Shinpachi-kun…agreed." Gintoki replied, blood coming out of his nose.

"OI!" Zoro snapped them out of it. He glared at them, before turning away. "Let's go, the captain's hungry, and we have to collect Jinbe."

"Hai, hai…don't let the bandana squeeze your brain." Gintoki scratched the back of his head.

**Elsewhere on Amazon Lilly**

Jinbe sighed as he locked his up; the female guards lay knocked out by haki, and he quickly put the hood over his head.

"Sorry Luffy-kun…but I'm not read for this yet." He quickly ran into the docking cove, and saw that the Thousand Sunny had already arrived. The second he saw Luffy and the others leave the area, he jumped at his chance and ran onto the ship, intending to steal it. Only to find that he soon would not be alone.

"HURRY! HIME-SAMA SAID TO ERASE THOSE TWO HARPIES AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!" Kikyo shouted, and started prodding around the ship. Jinbe stood frozen as he and the Amazon warriors soon found themselves facing each other. "You! What are you doing out of your cell?!"

"ME?! What are you doing, raiding the ship?! Aren't the Strawhats your comrades?!" Jinbe demanded.

"How we conduct ourselves is none of your business!" Kikyo shouted.

"Well whatever! I need this ship, so get off!" Jinbe ordered.

"Absolutely not, we are here under the snake hime's orders, and we will not submit to the likes of you!" The Amazonian greatly declared.

"Fine! Be prepared to be thrown off this ship!" Jinbe got into his fishman karate stance, and then- BANG! Jinbe and Kikyou got knocked out, but falling serving trays…which still had scraps of food on them.

"Keep it down, we're trying to sleep!" A young female voice yelled. Everyone who was conscious looked up to the crow's nest, and saw a pale girl rubbing sleep out of her eyes. She was in a red Chinese dress, and her hair was badly unkempt; there was boy beside her, who leaning his face into her shoulder like it was a pillow.

"Whose awake at this ungodly hour? Who dares disturb me, China?" The young man growled.

The Amazonians stared at the interaction in fascination, though representatives were chosen amongst them to reproduce and find males in the outside world, never, had they seen a relationship in action, especially between a male and female.

Kagura noticed the women staring at her boyfriend and got annoyed; Okita wasn't the only one with a possessive streak. Reaching down, she grabbed a plate and threw it down at them. "Begone, the Queen of Kabukicho and King of Sadists are having quality time together."

"You're supposed to say 'Queen of Sadists' when addressing yourself China." Sougo deadpanned into her shoulder. He slunk back down to the floor of the crows-nest, to where their blankets and clothes lied. A mess of leftovers and dirty plates filled the area; it'd be a hell of a mess to clean up. "Come on China, let's go back to sleep."

"I'm with you, uh-huh!" She disappeared from the intruder's sight, and went back asleep beside her lover, or at least tried to.

"DON'T IGNORE US! WE'RE TRYING TO STEAL THE SHIP!" The women shouted.

"WE DON'T CARE! JUST DON'T WAKE US UP!" Kagura shouted. Honestly, couldn't these losers be a bit quieter? Going back to sleep, Kagura attempted to ignore the morons again.

Meanwhile, the women were strategizing. "Okay, we cannot allow what happened here to pass, Amazon Lilly would lose face! We cannot lose to an outsider!"

"Yes! We'll expel them from the ship and then continue our task!" Another woman confirmed.

Now, like a classic cartoon; these stupid women would try to outwit two master sadists. As if sensing the challenge, both grinned in excitement; roused from the roots of their drowsiness. After all, untrained dogs needed to be swatted with a newspaper now and again.

**Review please! Let me know if there's something you guys want me to feature; as I said, I'm trying to get back into the beat of writing this fic. Later! Also, thank you for your support and patience!  
**


	23. Dares are less painful than Truths

**Hey guys! Sorry I'm so late on updating! I've been searching for a job, and writing my second book, as well as prepping my Case ClosedxOne Piece sequel for public release, since this one's almost done. Yes, this one is almost done. I apologize if this seems sudden, but in all honesty, I'm running out of steam for this; I'm getting bored of this fic, and I want to write other stuff. Anyways, the next update will come on time next week, I promise. **

**So read, enjoy, review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama  
**

After several minutes of plotting and scheming, Jinbe and the girls finally came to an agreement of purging the intruders. Their plan was simple: lower the crow's nest, ambush them, and throw them off the ship. Though Kikyo's subordinates wanted to interrogate them about 'relationships' before they departed. Jinbe didn't care as long as they left the ship, and Kikyo agreed because that meant that the Strawhat had no way to escape her Hebi-Hime again; as much as she disapproved of men being on the island. Boa Hancock's happiness was more important than any dusty tradition. Signaling to one of her subordinates to pull the lever, the battle was initiated.

Slowly, the crow's nest lowered, and the second it was on the proper level, the assailants jumped! "COME OUT OUTSIDERS! SHOW YOURSELVES!" Kikyo shouted.

"Kikyo-sama! They're not here!" The women looked around the circle, and found that Kagura and Sougo weren't there.

Blinking in confusion, they stood up and looked around themselves. "Where did they-"

"GOING UP!" A sudden jolt was felt, and the group was sent zooming up, and BANG! There heads banged against the ceiling, and soon found themselves hitting the floorboards of the crow's nest harshly.

Sougo smirked, and brought the crow's nest back down, amused by the way the bodies bounced up from impact of hitting the ground. Sniffing his clothes, he frowned. "Hey China…let's take this opportunity to change clothes, I'm sure the Strawhats won't mind."

"Yeah!" Kagura grinned. "Let's use the bath too!" Due to their sleeping arrangement, neither had good wash or change of clothes for several days.

Grinning ear to ear, Sougo replied. "A marvelous idea, China…but we can't risk these idiots seeing something they don't deserve, so we need to take precautions."

"Since when are you modest?" The girl asked.

"I'm not. I just noticed you were mad at these girls for checking me out,that's all China." The sadist smirked.

Pouting, the Yato responded. "You get mad if guys look at me!"

"Never said it was bad thing China." Snapping some rope in front of him, he smirked. "Let's get to work shall we?"

**Elsewhere on the Island**

"Ara? Jinbe's gone." Luffy stated the obvious as the group looked at the empty cell. The rest of the Strawhat crew, the remaining Odd-Jobs, and the Amazon Lilly Empress stared at the cell in silence, until…

"WHAT IS THIS INSOLENCE?! FIND JINBE AT ONCE!" She barked at her warriors.

"YES!" They cleared out of the area and went to find them.

"Luffy…I'm sorry." Hancock turned to the rubber boy in worry. "We'll find him, I swear…"

"It's fine, Hancock. It's not important." Luffy said quickly. "Let's head to Marineford guys!"

"Luffy?" Nami asked in uncertainty.

"The execution's in a week or whatever, and we need to get to Marineford as soon as possible. If Jinbe-san's not here, we don't have time to waste." Luffy reasoned.

"Captain-san…I think it would be best if we look for Jinbe-san, otherwise coming here would be waste, wouldn't it?" Robin argued.

"I'm fine with whatever." Zoro shrugged.

"YES! WE MUST STAY LONGER!" Sanji proclaimed.

"Besides Luffy, it might be good to visit with old friends, right?" Ussop suggested uneasily.

"Yeah! Yeah!" Chopper added.

"The Thousand Sunny could use a restock in supply, so stopping here couldn't hurt for a few hours." Franky pointed out.

"Yohoho! A chance to sing for beautiful maidens would be a great honor!" Brook finished off the crew's argument.

"Demo…" Luffy frowned, they were all right, and he didn't want to make Hancock sad, but…

"They're not going to kill him." Gintoki spoke up, reading the Strawhat-boy's mind. "The Navy and World Government are going to want to make a statement which is why they're waiting to that anniversary day or whatever. They're not going to hurt him either, they want his face as pretty as possible for the cameras…or I'm guessing they're going to make this execution public."

"If it's the same as Ace, then yeah…they will." Luffy nodded, but wasn't convinced. "But how can you be so sure?"

The silver man frowned, but he answered. "Let's just say…where I come from…they make it a point of executing fathers in front of son; best way to make a statement." He inwardly clenched his teeth, thinking about Shouyo-sensei's death, how they dragged him off and beheaded him in front of him and his comrades.

"Gin-san…" Shinpachi nodded. "We haven't had a comfortable meal in the past week or so Luffy-san, so I don't think it would be a bad idea either."

Hancock jumped at the oppurutinity. "Yes Luffy! All the comfort food in the world is waiting for you, here!"

"Yeah…you guys are right! Let's eat!" Luffy beamed.

"Awesome! By the way…anyone seen Okita-san or Kagura-chan?" Shinpachi just noticed.

**On the Ship**

Okita and Kagura were thoroughly enjoying their alone time; of course they had some fun in the bathroom, but they had to rush it considering they were eager and had guests. Kagura changed into a yellow chengosam dress, that seemed to be an old relic that Robin picked up somewhere; a cultural gift from one of the islands. Luckily it fit Kagura perfectly, considering there was no way Robin or Nami's clothes would fit her. Okita changed into a normal white peasant shirt and black pants; old clothes in the trash bin for whatever reason.

"You know China…" He observed the Amazon Lilly outfits on their unconscious guests. "You should change into one of their outfits, you know for the full cultural experience."

"Perverted sadist." Kagura read her boyfriend's mind. "You can just buy an outfit like that from Mutsu, can't you?"

"Yeah…" He put an arm around her. "But there's no authenticity to that outfit. Anyways…what should we do these guys China?" He referred to the three Amazonians and fishman bound and gagged, and unconscious from the head-bang.

"Hmmm…make them walk the plank, uh-huh!" Kagura declared.

"Maybe…but their deaths would come soon after that, China." Okita explained.

"True…" Kagura then noticed one of the women wake up. "Hey Sadist, look!"

"Ugghhh…what happened…?" Kikyo groaned as she slowly opened her eyes, and quickly took in her situation. "You two! What is this?! Release us this instant!"

"Why would we do that?" Sougo asked.

"Because this is Amazon Lilly, fornicating men and women like yourselves aren't welcome, and this is our territory!" She yelled.

"Fornicating men and women you say? So it's forbidden to have sex on the island?" Okita's grin couldn't get wider, even if he tried.

"Forget it, sadist." Kagura shoved him slightly, and turned to Kikyo. "Brats like you shouldn't judge things they don't understand. Since you've been on this island of shut-ins, you've never experienced the outside world or any of what it has to offer, and therefore you can't call yourself a real woman, uh-huh!"

"Island of shut-ins?" Kikyo's eye twitched.

"Yeah, you shut yourselves in this island, cause you're too afraid to face the outside world, uh-huh!" Kagura nodded.

"First of all, I'll have you know that any of these women are more female than you any idea, you insipid brat. Secondly, we don't shut ourselves in because we're afraid, we do this to preserve the island's honor!" Kikyo defended.

"What honor, you guys just tried to high-jack a second rate pirate ship?" Kagura asked.

"I never said I agreed with it! However, if it's for our princess, we'll do it!" The older woman explained.

"For your princess, this should be an amusing story. So start talking, whose your princess?" Okita smirked, wrapping an around Kagura's waist.

"Don't do such indecent acts in front of me! This island is sacred!" Kikyo shouted.

"Would you shut up, you old hag?!" Kagura huffed, feeling Okita's chin on her shoulder. "You're just encouraging him, uh-huh! And sadist, don't use me as an interrogation-prop!"

"Can I just lean on you like this, then?" He mumbled.

"Sure." The girl conceded defeat. "Anyways, whose this princess anyways? Why she hate men so much?"

"Her name is Boa Hancock, and she is the proud empress of our kingdom! This kingdom has been proudly independent of men since its founding; the women and animals only leave this island to meet a man to provide the seed, and the baby is raised here!" Kikyo boasted.

"What happens if the baby's a boy?" Kagura asked.

"That's never happened! If it did however, it would be disposed of." The woman replied snootily.

"So a femist extremist island that makes yearly trips to the sperm bank, nice." Okita deduced. "That mean the women here are lesbian only?"

"THAT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS, YOU INTROVERT!" She screeched.

Kagura slapped a hand over her face, and her brow twitched when she felt Okita's grip get tighter. "Now you've done it, you've unleashed the monster. Stupid hag." She elbowed the boy to get off her, having enough exhibitionism of the trip. "Later Sadist; we'll fuck on a sacred shrine of theirs or something."

"I'm holding you to that, China." Okita frowned, and then finally noticed the large blue fishman of the group, who seemed to be spaced out. "And you…" He forced the man to look up. "…are Jinbe-san, I assume."

"Yes, what of it?" He rose a brow.

"China, myself, and my colleagues are eager to get this whole conflict resolved so we con return home. So please…tell us what you know about Strawhat's father, and why you've been channeling a network of lies around the islands." Sougo's smile promised pain.

"Also! Tell us about this One Piece treasure, uh-huh!" Kagura added.

"What makes you think I'll talk about any of these things?" These perverted brats were too cocky.

"Jinbe-san, allow me to introduce myself…I am Okita Sougo, the future King of Sadists." He smiled darkly.

"And I'm Kagura, Queen of Kabukicho!" This universe didn't know interrogation, until these two came to town.

**Elsewhere**

While Kagura and Sougo were actually getting work done, Gintoki and Shinpachi had inadvertently come between the most beautiful woman in existence and her desire for the oblivious Strawhat captain. Other than Luffy and Zoro, not one person wasn't affected by the tense stare Hancock was sending the two female members of Luffy's crew. Robin was indifferent towards it, most likely having dealt with the stares of jealous women before, while Nami was glaring right back at the taller woman. Sanji was busy staring at Hancock and the other women, while the rest of the guys were enjoying the banquet provided for them.

"So Luffy-kun, how have your travels been…other than the recent news of course?" Hancock turned to to him, sparkling smile and all.

"It's been good…we were worried about these Odd-Jobs guys, but it turns out they weren't even pirates, and were actually helping our homes, so it's been fine." Luffy answered.

"Ah yes…Captain Permhead…" Hancock indicated to the two crew-guests. "How was it you came to know Luffy-kun's island?"

"Ano, Boa-san…we were kidnapped by a marine named Garp-san, like all the other islands we were forced to get acquainted with here." Shinpachi sighed.

"Oi, Oi, Lady, my name isn't Permhead, it's Sakata Gintoki. When are people going to get that right?" Gintoki finished.

"That reminds me, Boa-san, Nico-san mentioned that you or your residents might know of information regarding the Pirate's Eye Diamond." Shinpachi suddenly asked.

"Eh? That old thing?" Marigold spoke up. "Why do you want to know about it?"

"Well you see, the original reason why we came here, this universe that is, was to retrieve the diamond for a client of ours. So…do any of you know where it is?" Shinpachi asked.

"That's why you came to this universe, to search for that?" Sandersonia didn't sound convinced.

"Of course. It's supposedly the most valuable diamond in existence, so naturally extreme measures and payments were made to insure it's retrieval." Gintoki shrugged.

Frowning, Sandersonia turned to Robin. "He is aware of what the diamond supposedly is, correct?"

"I assumed diamonds meant something different in his world, nothing more." Robin smiled, sipping tea.

"Oi, Oi, what are you ladies jabbering about. Make the conversation in universal language; include subtitles dammit!" Gintoki demanded.

"Hmph!" Surprisingly Hancock was the one who stood up to permhead's defense. "Women who think deceit is amusing is a dreadful trait, don't you think so, Luffy-kun?"

"Speaking of deceit, aren't your subjects taking a long time with our ship? You did tell them to properly anchor it right?" Nami smirked at her. Really, Nami wasn't jealous over Luffy or anything, she just didn't appreciate being snubbed by a spoiled forehead-princess. "Besides that Hancock-san, isn't it more deceitful if the truth is manipulated?"

Twitching, the dark-haired beauty responded. "I suppose it is…"

"Ano…if we could get back to the diamond…where is it exactly?" Shinpachi asked, trying hard to break through the tension.

"It's no longer on the island that's for sure." Marigold frowned.

"WHAT?! YOU MEAN WE CAME ALL THIS WAY FOR NOTHING?!" Gintoki shouted.

"Shut up!" Gintoki got kicked in the head by Sanji. "You're disturbing the beautiful ladies."

"Besides Gintoki-san, we came here to pick up Jinbe, not look for the diamond." Ussop pointed out logically.

"Where is Jinbe-san, anyways?" Chopper piped up.

"What about that Okita and Kagura?" Zorro spoke. "Are they still back at the ship?"

**BANG!**

The door of the mess hall they were in slammed open, and in walked Kagura and Okita, dragging bound and captive Jinbe, Kikyo, and several other Amazonian women. "Yosh! Sorry we're late!" Kagura yelled.

"Don't just say yosh! Where the hell were you two?!" Gintoki demanded.

"Ah. Danna, while you and Megane were lazily stuffing your faces along with Strawhat-people here, we held down the ship and protected it from these hoodlums." Okita shrugged.

"Ano…who are you two?" Sandersonia spoke up.

"Ah! This is Okita Sougo and Yato Kagura, they're the last members of our party." Shinpachi explained.

"Another male." Hacock frowned at the bishounen and Chinese girl holding hands. "And what possible justification do you have for treating my subordinates this way?"

"You tried to make them steal the ship, uh-huh!" Kagura spoke.

Nami smirked in triumph as Hancock paled considerably. "I-I did no such thing! Luffy-kun, surely you believe me, don't you?!"

"Huh? What's going on?" Luffy looked up from the meal.

"YOU HAVEN'T BEEN PAYING ATTENTION THIS WHOLE TIME?!" Everyone in the room shouted.

That's when Jinbe and Luffy locked eyes. Frowning, Luffy dropped his drumstick and approached the fishman. "Jinbe…"

"Luffy." The fishman nodded.

"…I've always thought of you as an ally, and after you saved me and Ace, I considered you a trusted friend, which is why I find this whole thing confusing. You lied to us by saying these Odd-Jobs guys were attacking our islands, but it was actually them who freed our home islands from the World Government's grasp. Moreover, you helped the World Government cut-off contact from our islands, right?" Luffy's gaze lowered.

"No…the marital law hit every single island by the World Government's Cipher Pole agencies, I had nothing to do with that." Jinbe replied.

"Fine. But you knew they were after my dad didn't you?" Luffy accused.

"…He was a probable target. Your father is the most wanted criminal in the world, so it was only natural to assume he'd be one of the candidates chosen to reignite the war." The fishman didn't deny it.

"I see. Jinbe, before I say anything, I just need to ask: why? Why did you betray us? Why did you betray dad?!" Luffy demanded.

"Luffy-kun…this isn't the best place to discuss this." Jinbe tried to reason.

"THEN WHERE?! DAMMIT JINBE! YOU'RE A MEMBER OF THIS CREW, SO AS YOUR CAPTAIN, I DEMAND YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH!" Luffy shouted. His crew was silent, standing in support of their captain.

"FINE! YOU WANT THE TRUTH! YOUR MOTHER! YOUR MOTHER'S DYING WISH WAS THIS!"

**Review please! Sorry if the chapter seems sudden, but again, running out of steam. Drop a comment, question, or concern in the reviews or PM like normal. Thanks!**


	24. Campfire Songs and Ghost Stories

**Hey guys! As promised, here's the next chapter of the story! I'm just starting to write the final fight scenes and I'm trying to figure our who should fight who. But for now, look at the pretty chapter! Read, enjoy, review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama  
**

Luffy was stunned into silence. "What?"

"It was your mother's dying wish that I protect you at all costs. If it ever came down between you and your father, she told me to protect you every time." Jinbe explained, cooling down.

After a minute of silence, Hancock cleared her throat. "Everyone out! This is obviously meant to be a private conversation." She had honestly meant her servants and the Strawhat crew, but Captain Permhead had other plans.

"Indeed, this isn't a conversation for the unbiased. Come everyone, let us enjoy the island of food and beautiful ladies outside this banquet or whatever." Gintoki patted Shinpachi's shoulder, Okita and KAgura were already outside waiting for them. Noticing that the Strawhat crew wasn't following, he spoke again. "I know you guys are worried about your captain, but this isn't your fight, and it isn't your place to fight with him at this point. When he's ready, he'll let you be there for him, but right now…he wants to be as far away form everyone as much as possible."

Zorro frowned. "You don't know our captain."

"No I don't, but…" He frowned when he thought of how his own past was exposed a little when he wasn't ready. "…he probably doesn't want to make this a spectacle. Oi, Strawhat! What do you think?"

"Why you-" Franky readied a cannon.

"Franky." Luffy stopped him. "It's fine, Permhead's right. I…need to hear this alone. So please…everyone wait outside, I'll come get you when we're done."

"But Luffy-" Hancock was cut-off by Nami grabbing her hand.

"Sounds good. Let's go." Nami lead her out of the room.

After a few moments of shuffling, the room was emptied out, save for the two occupants. Luffy hadn't bother to unchain Jinbe yet; too unnerved or just plain scared that the man would get away again. "Explain Jinbe."

"…Luffy…I just want to start out by saying both of your parents love you deeply, and they never wanted something like this to happen." Jinbe sighed. "I also want to say that while I have nothing against those Odd-Jobs people, I also have no loyalty towards them and had no problem in choosing their demise over yours."

"Explain."

"As you know, after your brother had been rescued that day, it was also a great cost to the pirates, as well as the start of the Government's tirade. With Whitebeard's health waning, the World Government took their chance to seize most of the islands that had potential to fall under his control, and with the other other Yonko, they couldn't risk your home islands falling into pirate hands either. So just over a few months ago, Dawn Island, and the rest of your crew's islands were seized, and if Odd-Jobs had not interfered, they'd still be under World Government control." Jinbe explained sadly.

"We know." Luffy frowned. "My question is: why'd you lie to us?"

"Two reasons: I wanted you and your crew to think it was them because I didn't want you to pick fights with the World Government, especially since the island you were on was Punk Hazard. I knew that if you met them, that not only would you be out of the Grand Line, but you'd gain new allies. Secondly…I knew they would target your father, so…" Jinbe trailed off.

"You knew they'd go after him?" Luffy growled.

"I was told about this other-world plan from Red-Haired a few months ago, he heard it from Mihawk. I didn't find out about the Odd-Jobs people until I visited Marineford recently; they we recalling back all old Shichibukai and were informed of their presence. Apparently, Odd-Jobs was considered enough of a threat to these Harusame pirates as well as the Mimawarigumi and Kihetai, that they were discussed even at the developing stages." Jinbe sighed.

"…I see…tell me about my dad." Luffy said. "What did you mean by my mom?"

"When your mother was pregnant with you, your father had just started the Revolutionary movement; this was approximately two and half years after Roger's execution." Jinbe started. "Your parents had eloped a litte before that, and were on the run from the World Government; Garp-san has probably never been so worried. Garp actually didn't even know about you until you were three or so. Your father tried his hand at raising you on his own, but…combined with the grief and growing danger of the Revolutionary army, it simply wasn't an option. He left you on Garp's doorstep one night, and only glanced back to the East now and again, thinking of you."

"What happened to her? My mother?" Luffy asked carefully.

"She died. Your birth was fairly complicated, and she hadn't received the proper nutrion or care during this time." Jinbe answered.

"I see…" The strawhat boy clenched his hands.

"Luffy." Jinbe got his attention. "You need to know that your mother loved you till the very end; she loved you before she even knew you, and your father…he never stopped being proud of you. Even now, he swells with pride at the mere mention of you. Which is why…your mother requested this of me."

"What?" Luffy's voice cracked slightly.

"While your mother was still pregnant with you, I ran into her and after we talked a bit…she…told me that if a situation ever were to come up between you and them, as if your life or one of their lives had to be taken, that it would be them. That you would live every time, that you would be free every time. Your mother's final wish to me was: 'protect my son's freedom'. Your father shared this wish, so once this situation came up, I…had no choice but to follow those requests. Again…I have nothing against Odd-Jobs Gintoki-san or his crew, I just simply did what I thought I had to." The fishman finished.

"How did you know her? My mother?" Luffy asked.

"…She was an activist for Fishman Equality on Sabaody; your father met her at a protest rally, actually. She was a friend of Otohime's." He half-lied. He really didn't want to tell the Strawhat boy about his uncle, besides, Dragon and Lucinda did meet at a rally, and Jinbe did know her through Otohime, that wasn't a lie.

"I see. So you knew who I was when we first met at Impel Down, didn't you?" Luffy accused, Jinbe looked away, confirming it. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I…didn't think it was my place at the time, and with all times we met in the past, I didn't think it was appropriate. I was very pleased to meet you; you went beyond Lucinda's standards." Jinbe answered.

"Lucinda?" Luffy repeated.

"Yes. That was your mother's name…Sakazaki Lucinda." The fishman answered.

Cracking a smile, the younger replied: "It's pretty."

"Indeed. You look much like her, she would be proud to see how far you've gotten." Jinbe concurred.

"That's good. So does that mean you're still on our side Jinbe?!" Luffy's happy self returned.

"Of course, but we don't have much time. Your father's due to be executed within five days, and we're not exactly close. We need to use this time to coordinate our allies, and form a strategy. To my understanding, Odd-Jobs knows our enemies fairly well, so we should have an advantage." Jinbe nodded.

"Great! Oh and Jinbe…whose the bastard who got my dad?" Luffy's eyes were dead-serious.

**Marineford**

Dragon shifted uncomfortably in his cell, irritated by the lack of mobility. His legs felt stiff, having spent over a week chained up in a ship. His head shot up at the sound of a cell door opening, he frowned, there was a guy in white with a monocle and a weird hand-held device, and two men in black. One of them was smoking a cigarette, while the other strangely resembled a gorilla.

"You three here to give me my afternoon meal?" Dragon asked.

"Greetings, I am Sasaki Isaburo, Captain of the Mimiwarigumi. We will soon be serving alongside Cipher Pole as the World Government's elite intelligence agents; proud to serve the elite and bring justice to all. These two are the Captain and Vice Captain of the Shinsengumi, they will be joining the Navy, to bring our Universal Justice to all." The monocle guy introduced.

"So you people are more of the extraterrestrials. So what do you people want?" Dragon frowned; that damned Takasugi was the one that brought him in.

"I just wanted to introduce you to your executioners." Isaburo replied. "You see, we're trying to bring as much cultural exchange as we can, and in our world, the executioners build up a relationship with their victims. Makes the ceremony more meaningful, and the warrior can tell their tale one last time, before its lost forever. Make sense?"

"All this for Universal Justice? What a load of crap. The World Government merely wants to use other universe to expand their networks and resources, their goal is to wipe out the pirates, and any idea of free thinking." Dragon argued.

"Be that as it may, you and your universe will soon find it's for the best. There's nothing wrong with a little riot here and there, but a full-blown revolution is simply bad for everyone all around. The economy collapses, irrationality rises, and the hierarchy will eventually collapse; that won't do, now will it?" He replied, pressing buttons.

"That's complete and total domination. How can there be any progression without freedom?!" Dragon hissed.

"There will be progression, however it must come at a steady pace when the ruling power feels it's necessary." Isaburo replied.

"And why is it only up to the elite?! Answer me!" Dragon practically shouted.

"Simple. The elite are those who hold all the power and the resources, and those born into the elite are trained from birth to handle these responsibilities. What good could improper mongrels such as yourself bring to the masses with such inexperience?" Isaburo's bored expression didn't change despite the arrogance. "Oh, it seems as though Kamui-kun's finally found his target. I do hope he brings Whitebeard's head in a clean state." He flipped his phone off.

"WHAT?!" Dragon's eyes widened in horror.

"Good day. Kondo-san, Hijikata-san, I'll leave this man in your care." With that, the man in white left them.

"Tch. Stupid bastard." Hijikata snorted.

"Easy Toshi, this isn't easy for anyone." Kondo looked to Dragon uneasily. "I…assume this Whitebeard-san is a friend of yours?"

"No, however if your colleague succeeds in killing him, no one in the pirates or the revolutionaries…no…no one with a free will left will forgive you! That man has done more for this world than you bastards could possibly imagine!" Dragon shouted.

"It's the same old story with you revolutionaries, isn't it?" Hijikata lit a cigarette. "You throw a tantrum over how the system works, and instead of finding a productive way to make it work to your advantage, you try to fight it all together."

"What?!" Dragon growled.

"Toshi." Kondo frowned at him.

"Iya. I'll be waiting outside; don't stay in here too long Kondo-san." Hijikata walked out.

"Sorry about him, Toshi can be a bit edgey when the pressure's on for us like this. Allow me to indroduce myself, I'm Kondo Isao, Captain of the Shinsengumi, and that other man was Hijikata Toushiro, my Vice Captain. My third in commands is out exploring the Grand Line right now, but you'll meet him soon enough. And don't worry about Whitebeard-san…with how big the ocean here is, what Isaburo-san said being true, is unlikely." Kondo smiled.

"Why are you being kind?" Dragon stared at the man curiously.

"Haha…I'm a man who tries to understand his fellow man, even if we're on opposing sides, it doesn't mean we can't talk peceafully before the war. Still, it's a shame; you seem like a nice guy, so I think executing you's pretty extreme. If it were up to me, I'd probably just give you some comminutiy service ro try to arrange a meeting with the World Government or something." Kondo thought about the peaceful possibilities.

"You…don't want me to die?" Dragon was shocked.

"Of course not! From what I understand, you're a father that has yet to meet his son, and you have men and women who are depending on you! Your loss would devastate them!" Kondo answered.

"That's the point of my execution, yes." Dragon sweat-dropped.

"Which will bring a war that'll level the world, honestly…war never does any good…peaceful solutions are always the best way to go." Kondo said, his voice saddened slightly.

"Kondo-san…did your world also experience war?" Dragon asked.

"Yeah, we did, that's why I have so much sympathy for the people of this world. You see…our world was completely taken over by the Amanto aliens, and we soon found ourselves at their mercy. Our swords were taken, jobs were lost, the economy was in shambles, but most all…almost all the samurai in our world were taken out." Kondo smiled sadly. "Sorry! You probably don't want to hear-"

"No, it's fine. I find this interesting, actually." Dragon didn't know why, but he found this man extremely calming. "What did you call this war?"

"The Joi War, it was the eight-years of hell that plagued Japan." Kondo sat down, and prepared to tell his tale.

**Amazon Lilly**

After Jinbe explained who captured his father, Luffy stomped out of the banquet hall and went straight for the dead-fish-eyed permehad, drinking some rum out of boredom. "Permhead, tell me about Takasugi Shinsuke." Luffy ordered.

Frowning, Gintoki put down his glass and looked at the Strawhat boy in the eye. Okita and Kagura stopped their match, Shinpachi gulped and looked between the two protagonists. The Amazonians and the rest of the Strawhat crewmembers of course were clueless, having never met the man.

"Never head of him." Gintoki poured himself another glass. "Stick to treasure hunting, kid."

"You're lying." Luffy growled.

"Very astute, I'll try the honest approach- none of your damned business, gaki." Gintoki sighed. "Oi, Souchiro, you tell him."

"He asked for you, Danna." Sougo deadpanned.

"Well someone speak." Zoro growled; he didn't like seeing his captain so upset.

"He's the man who captured Monkey D. Dragon, from what I understand…he's not only from Gintoki-san's world, but…he was a former comrade of yours?" Jinbe asked.

"Huh? He was? Strange, I don't remember." Gintoki twirled the bottle slightly.

"He's quite fierce with a sword, isn't he?" Jinbe tried again. That got Zoro's interest.

"You're telling us!" Zoro shouted.

"Zoro-san!" Shinpachi shouted, getting everyone's attention. "With all due respect, each of you are being very rude…this is a very personal subject, so please stop."

"No." Surprisingly, Hancock spoke up. "If this information pertains to Dragon-sama's survival, we must be enlightened. Any withholding of information must be considered treason; either dispose of what you know, or leave this island. We cannot trust anyone who keeps information on the enemy." The woman said snootily.

"You've never been to war, have you little girl?" Gintoki suddenly stood up. His face was down, but you could easily feel the anger radiating off him. "It's never the information that's withheld that kills you, it's the information about how the person fights and abuses the battles that does. Takasugi's a bastard that fought in the same war as me, and also uses a sword…don't ever call him my comrade. To be that ignorant about such things, Marineford wasn't a war was it? It was just a little hour-long battle of random chaos, and by some miracle you and your brother escaped? Right, Luffy-kun?"

"Shut up." Luffy clenched his fists.

"No. Last time you guys got lucky, this time all of you are going to need skill. Takasugi never takes prisoners, and he's going to milk this blood spectacle for all its worth; this time around…no one's getting out a live. Not marines, not pirates, not revolutionaries, get it? That's the type of man Takasugi is." Gintoki sighed, calming down. "Sorry, but unless if you all wise up here, this ain't gonna end well for you or your dad."

"If he's a swordsman, then it's only right I fight him." Zoro volunteered.

"Relax marimo, you'll get your turn. But…as another swordsman, you can understand why I have to be the one to fight him, right?" Gintoki asked.

"That's…" Zoro couldn't argue.

"So!" Nami clapped her hands together. "We all agreed then?"

"I guess." Franky said awkwardly.

**One of Whitebeard's Islands**

Imai Nobume stared boredly, longing for doughnuts, as her boyfriend smiled stupidly at the giant sky-scraper man. She had already cut several men down around them, so everyone was keeping a clear distance from the Navy-haired beauty. Now, here they were, in front of the world's strongest men supposedly. While Kamui looked more than jazzed for the fight, Nobume was less than impressed of what was in front of her. The man seemed to have a giant gaping scar in his chest, as if a cannon had been fired through it; had several breathing assisters and IVs. He may have been the strongest man before the Marineford war two years prior, but he most likely fell due to his injuries. Though…as he stood with his weapon, even she had to admit he looked intimidating.

"So…you're Whitebeard-san?" Kamui smiled.

"No need to introduce myself to someone who will be dead in several moments. So…you two must be from the other world, correct?" Whitebeard frowned down at the braided man.

"Yes. This lovely woman is Imai Nobume, and I…am Yato Kamui. Let's make this fight to the death, a good one!" He clapped his hands together, and the match begun.

**Review please! Next chapter: Whitebeard and Kamui fight, and other stuff will happen. Sorry if I made anyone OOC, I was in a hurry when I wrote this. Thanks!**


	25. Of Regrets and Hangovers

**Hey guys! I'm posting early this week for several reasons: it's my boyfriend's birthday today, and he wanted me to post, and I actually need opinions for the final fight. At the end of the chapter, I actually need you guys to do a poll in terms of which fights you want to see or emphasized the most. **

**I have a hell of a lot of fights set up for the final chapters, and I'm only human; so please vote for the character match-ups you guys want to see brawling. That way, I can continue writing the fic. Also, I will post an additional chapter this Friday as well, because my boyfriend's family is coming down in celebration of Chinese New Year!**

**So read, enjoy, review!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama  
**

Kamui stared at the man in front of him with a fair amount of interest. The man was as tall as the buildings of Yoshiwara, and had a living milk-mustache on his face. His crew seemed to be very angry with him; swords and guns pointed at him and his lovely. He noticed Nobume's swords were still drawn, for some reason it felt nice that someone had his back.

Nobume quietly walked up to Kamui and stood back to back with him. "Please calm down, this is not an arrest warrant. This is a private execution ceremony for the greatest pirate who ever lived; feel honored to be here."

"You talk pretty big, girlie." Marco glared.

"I only speak the truth, but do not worry. I will only provide blockage to interference such as yourselves." Marco glared,damn it for Vista to be gone at a time like this.

"My sons, stay back…these people are dangerous." Whitebeard sighed; he could tell by looking at the braided boy that he was a high-level fighter. His stance was confident but strong, he was arrogant but observant, and he wasn't making the mistake of age ignorance. This boy knew he was old, but he didn't think of Whitebeard as decrepit. "Yato Kamui, huh?"

"Yes sir!" He got into a fighting stance. "I must say I've been looking forward to this fight for quite a long time. Ever since I got here really."

"How long is that?" Whitebeard asked.

"Oh…about a month now maybe, whose to say?" Kamui shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"I suppose not. So what's a couple of aliens want to fight me for?" He asked.

"Why wouldn't I want to fight you? You're only the strongest man alive in this universe! Though, from what I've seen…I hope not to say: 'that's not saying much'." Kamui explained.

"So you literally just want to fight me for the novelty of the idea?" Whitebeard frowned. "Get lost, I don't fight for the sport of it, and neither should you."

"But I don't fight for the sport of it, Whitebeard-san, it's the hunt I fight for." He smiled and continued. "As one of the strongest members of the Yato clan, it is my goal and duty to find stronger and stronger opponents…and kill them all…one by one."

"Brat, what's the point of that?" Whitebeard demanded.

"Simple. The stronger opponents I kill, the stronger I become. But don't worry, if oyu entertain me enough during this fight, I'll spare you so we can fight again." Kamui replied. "Now then, shall we get started?"

"Forget it. I don't do blood spectacle." Whitebeard replied.

"Really? So you won't fight me willingly? That's too bad." Kamui replied, and looked around himself, noting the loyal crewmembers. "I noticed that you called these men your sons, do you think they'd be willing to fight in your stead?"

"You think you scare us?" Marco scoffed.

"Hmm…I'd like to think so, considering that underestimating me would cost you your life." Kamui shrugged.

"Wanna test that?" Another Whitebeard commander Izo, asked.

"Izo…" Whitebeard warned.

"Let's..." Kamui got into position.

"Oi-"

POW!

As soon as those words were uttered, Izo was down for the count; a gaping hole was through hi stomach. Whitebeard's eyes widened with surprise and fury; not only did this man dare attack one of his sons, but he didn't even see the braided boy move.

"BASTARDS-" Marco would've attacked, had it not been for Nobume's sword at his throat.

"Please do not interfere, it would be most troublesome." Nobume's voice was monotone and bored, but it was serious.

"Like hell-"

"No, it's fine. Seems as though this insect has to be squashed." Whitebeard stood up, and aimed his bladed weapon at the younger man.

Grinning, Kamui opened his eyes and stepped forward. "I'll start." Vanishing, Kamui did as promised, and aimed a kick at the giant man's wounded torso.

Whitebeard frowned, and blocked the kick with his hand. He caught Kamui foot and using his devil fruit, squeezed his leg.

Kamui's eyes widened and quickly kicked his foot loose and landed a safe distance away. "Wow, I would've lost my leg if I hadn't escaped. You're pretty dangerous for such an old geezer." His grin widened. "That's perfect!" Kamui vanished again, and reappeared above Whitebeard's head.

The old pirate glared, and punched the air using another tremor.

Kamui and Nobume's eyes both widened in surprise as they literally saw the air and atmosphere crackle, and before they knew it, the island shifted. Nobume landed above a tilted palm tree, while Kamui landed on a piece of random land that was toppled from the attack. "So this is why Sengoku-san fears you so much. The Gura-Gura no Mi, I presume?"

Whitebead didn't respond, instead Kamui did. "Eh? What's that, Nobume-chan?"

"It's his devil fruit; supposedly, it is one of the most powerful. The power to destroy the entire world if he wanted." The woman answered. "Must be troublesome for you to fight on such a small amount of land."

"I'll manage." Whitebeard put his fist out and after some concentration, sent another tremor at the two intruders. Both dodged, but Kamui sprang forward and his fist met straight on with Whitebeard's. The man hadn't retracted his arm, and it would prove to be a grave mistake. As much as the old man hated to admit it, he couldn't deny the amount of power he felt from that punch was great. He swung his fist out of the way, and swung it back towards the boy, only to find that he had vanished once again.

**SNAP!**

A splitting pain was felt in his left arm, he turned and saw that Kamui had stabbed his hand through his bicep. It felt like a knife had cut through him.

"POPS!" His sons yelled; Marco was about to fly in, but was fiercely cut down by the Navy-blue samurai.

"Out of the way!" Marco shouted and sent a set of blue flames at her from his arm. But the girl simply swished them away with her sword, and attacked him head on.

"You will not interfere. If this idiot does not kill this old man, he will simply go on to kill others. We understand that there are three other pirate lords, and he plans to fight all of you as well as the strongest representatives in the Navy. This is nothing personal, he simply wants to have an exciting fight." She explained.

"So what?! You guys are simply going to kill the strongest people on the planet?!" Marco demanded.

"No." Kamui answered for her, as he landed back on the ground. "I'll simply kill the weak ones for fooling me into thinking they were strong, but I'll keep the ones who amuse me the most alive. Though I'm not expecting much form this one, though your size and power are impressive…" Kamui charged forward and jabbed the man's shoulder blade, causing Whitebeard's right arm to go limp, forcing him to hold his weapon with his injured arm. "…I'm going to bet you rely way too much on your devil fruit. And besides, I heard about your injury from the war two years ago; it's impressive that you were able to survive, but not much else." He landed a few feet away from the giant man carefully.

Whitebeard didn't say anything, and simply stared at Kamui. "You don't have much respect for anything, do you, brat?"

"Hm? What do you mean?" Kamui replied.

"You're not even fighting for the sake of bloodsport as you claim; you're against the pirates, revolutionaries, the marines, and even the World Government. You probably don't even have genuine loyalty towards that woman behind you; just traveling together out of amusement." Whitebeard said. "If you go on like that, neither of you will find true satisfaction or strength."

"Oh? And how would an old geezer like you know?" Kamui scoffed.

"Simple, I used to be a lot like you. I was so strong that I was untouchable, and I convinced myself that I didn't need any one while I was growing up. But when I joined my first crew, I soon realized why it was so difficult for me to find what I wanted…it was something I had already pushed away." Whitebeard explained. "You look to be the same arrogance I grew up around, the type that abandons his comrades and family if they prove to be something other than your own personal standard. You wander around aimlessly, looking for the next fight, hoping it'll satisfy your hunger, but when you don't find it, you convince yourself that it's because no one has the ability to satisfy you. So you kill your opponents needlessly, all to cover up your own weakness."

"I think you should shut-up." Kamui was starting to get pissed off.

"And you." Whitebeard gestured towards Nobume. "I don't know why you're with him, but you seem to still have a shred of sanity on you, so take my advice- leave him. He's going to kill you once he gets bored."

"I know. We've agreed to use each other till the very end." Nobume shrugged. "But you are right in one regard, Whitebeard-san…you never experience true strength until you have someone die for you, or you die trying to protect them. True strength isn't as glamorous as it sounds, Kamui-san, I can't imagine it being comfortable in watching this many comrades die." She gestured to all the men willing to die for their captain. "Kamui-kun's reasons aren't my concern, I'm simply with him out of amusement."

"If that's the case, you won't ever be truly be happy." Whitebeard sighed sadly at the young woman.

"I've long given up on the idea of happiness." She sighed. "However, I am content with the way my life is. Fighting and killing are now habitual to me, so please spare me your pity."

"I see." He could only imagine what this woman went through to get to that point. He turned back to Kamui. "And what about you? IS killing now a habit of yours as well?"

"And if it is?" The boy asked tersely.

"Then that means you'll never know strength, because you won't know how to recognize it. There's a difference in fighting for the sake of fighting, than with fighting for a reason. That reason is what separates warriors of any kind from mindless beasts. All mindless beasts do is rampage and destroy everything that's around them, and simply look for more to consume. They lose sight of who they are, and eventually kill themselves in their appetite. Looking at you, I'd say you turned into a beast some few years ago, but…" Whitebeard's eyes softened. "…I'd like to think someone as young as you has at least some hope of changing."

"Damned geezer, I like the way I am. How dare you question me like that?" Kamui chuckled darkly, and clenched his fists.

"You have no reason to fight, you kill for the sake of killing, I say this to you in the hopes that you'll become a warrior once again. But it appears as though talking isn't going to help."

POUND!

Kamui's eyes widened in shock as he realized what just happened. Whitebeard had just pinned Kamui down by his stomach, using the handle-end of his weapon. Despite the fact that there was no sunlight, the blade still glistened as Whitebeard's murderous eyes looked down upon. Suddenly, Kamui felt a sickening sensation, as if his whole body was being crushed, and that was when he saw the transparent energy sphere…directly on his stomach.

"Wipe your eyes with this brat." Whitebeard ignited the tremor directly on the Yato's body, and a crater was formed where Kamui and Whitebeard were, forming a huge sand cloud.

"POPS!" His crew members and Nobume ran to the edge o the crater and waited for the dust to clear- and it did.

Kamui laid on the ground with his arms and legs sprawled, and blood came out of is mouth. Whitebeard carefully removed his weapon, and waited for the boy to respond. "Get up and go home, brat. But consider this your last option, not many people who are strong are this kind. The next time you screw up like this, your dead, plain and simple."

"Shut up." Kamui's fists clenched. "SHUT UP!" The Yato sprang up, and flexed his arms through his anger. He sprang forward, aiming his jab right for Whitebeard's heart!

**BANG!**

Time stood still, neither Whitebeard or Kamui moved at the new intruder; Nobume narrowed her eyes in recognition. A familiar dark samurai, carrying a sword and shamisen, his sunglasses hid his eyes, but you could tell by his expression that he was annoyed. Adjusting himself, he threw his arms to disarm both the Yato and giant pirate.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?! OI!" Marco shouted.

"Tch. Seems as though our handler caught up to us quickly." Nobume frowned.

"Oi." Whitebeard frowned at the man. "Who are you? You also wanna fight?"

The man in black spoke quietly and politely, but with firm confidence. "I apologize Whitebeard-sama, these two weren't supposed to be hunting you, but it seems as though they couldn't help themselves."

"That still doesn't tell me who you are." Whitebeard frowned.

"Of course. I am Bansai Kawakami, right-hand man of Kihetai's leader, Takasugi Shinsuke." He explained.

"Ah. So another alien." The old pirate frowned. "If I remember correctly, your leader was the one who bested Monkey D. Dragon, and had him captured."

"Yes that is correct. Rest assured, it was nothing personal, it was simply our way of proving our loyalty to the Navy and World Government. Politics, you understand." Bansai explained.

"What if I were to demand you to release Dragon?" Whitebeard asked.

"Then I would invite you to the recommencement of the Marineford War, which is in five days." Bansai answered. "You are very strong Whitebeard-sama, but having a match with you is currently impossible; I have strict orders to retrieve these two."

"Hehe, you're funny Bansai-san, you think you can make me come back." Kamui smirked. "Didn't anyone ever tell you not get in between a Yato and their fights?"

"In your state, defeating you would be easy, however I wish to spare you from further humiliation." Bansai said, making Kamui frown.

"Let's go." Nobume spoke. "I'm bored now, and I have not had doughnuts in two hours. So either come back, or I'll drag you back."

"Go on. No one wants you here." Marco and the rest of the Whitebeard pirates glared.

Seeing as he was defeated, Kamui huffed and walked towards Bansai's ship, Nobume followed without saying anything.

Bansai gave one final bow to the pirate lord. "I apologize for this once again, Whitebeard-sama, perhaps we'll meet again in the upcoming battle."

"See you there." Whitebeard couldn't wait to teach that Yato punk a proper lesson.

**XXXXMARINEFORDXXX**

"Ah. Thanks." Hijikata sighed and put his walkie-talkie/snail-thing away. He was looking forward to going back to his planet where they didn't have to talk into snails. He smoked a cigarette, enjoying some peace and quiet away from Sougo, Kondo, and the brigade of craziness of this damned world.

"It's rude to smoke in enclosed areas." A voice spoke.

Hijikata glanced into the cell he was supposed to be guarding, and shrugged. "And its rude to break laws in extremist groups, but you don't hear me complaining."

"Hn." Dragon snorted. "So what was that conversation about?"

"Can't say, maybe containing more trouble-makers like yourself." Hijikata puffed.

"Extreme measures wouldn't be needed if a proper sense of justice was in place, in this damned system. Tell me, what kind of government do you and your captain have in your world? Is it anything like this? How fat are the pigs that feed you?" Dragon sneered.

"They're fat, and they do feed us, but we had to gather our own dog dishes and make them feed us." Dragon stopped short at Hijikata's statement. "As Kondo-san said, the Amanto came in and took over our world, and the samurai were stripped of their swords. Samurai were earth's warriors at the time, and were considered the greatest threat to the Amanto, there was a fraction that split off from the rest of them, and became the main fighting force of the front-line. They were known as the 'Last Samurai'. There are only four alive to our knowledge, but two of them refused to go along with their inevitable loss, and still try to stir up trouble."

"They're fighting for their freedom." Dragon argued.

"You see, I've heard that crap from them too, but here's the thing: as long as you're free to choose the path you walk, and free to make the mistakes in your life, you are free. Besides, aren't you kind of curious about why me and Kondo-san still have our swords?" The smoker pointed out.

"I'll admit I'm curious." The prisoner nodded.

"It's because of Kondo-san." Dragon's eyes widened slightly. "After the Amanto came in and we were stripped of our swords, it was Kondo-san who went through all the bureaucratic crap, and proved to those fat bastards that us scrawny strays were worth feeding. He showed them that we could be trusted, and that we would serve the Bakufu until our deaths, and through his effort he gave us back our swords, and gave us a reason to fight. But I'll let you in on a little secret Dragon, it's not the Bakufu or the Shogun me and the other Shinsengumi members have been loyal to all this time- it's Kondo. And if he suddenly chose to become a Revolutionary, I guarantee that we'd follow him without a moment's notice."

"Then…why did Kondo-san give in to the Amanto invasion?" Draogn frowned. "Didn't you find that weak?"

"That's the thing, we all thought along the same line as you actually. We were all angry, resentful, and were going to barge in to those bastards' stronghold and take over the country. With their numbers and weapons, we would've been shot and dead before we reached the gates. But Kondo-san beat us to them, he had already breached the gates with an open mind and compromise, and was ready to pledge himself to their service, for the sake of the one thing he had yet to lose- us." Hijikata explained. "He lost his family, his dojo, and even his sword, but he still had us- the Shinsengumi members. A bunch of ill-bred street thugs who came together under one roof to serve one man; the man who resembles a Gorilla, but had the heart greater than King Kong."

"What are you trying to say, Hijikata-san?" Dragon asked.

"Freedom and Justice aren't exclusive to each other, especially if you're under the command of someone who managed to combine them." Hijikata put out his cigarette. "Welp, my shift's over, see you tomorrow."

"Ah. See you tomorrow." Dragon nodded; justice and freedom together huh? If only the idea didn't sound impossible?

**XXXXAMAZON LILLYXXXX**

"Luffy, you have my full support to your father's rescue, and Amazon Lilly's forces will be at your side once the war is started!" Hancock proclaimed.

"You seem eager for a war to start." Nami frowned.

"Of course not! I simply want Luffy's ambition to be successful!" Hancock argued.

"I BELIEVE IN YOU HANCOCK-CHAMA!" Sanji yelled.

"Yeah, yeah, let's get going." Zoro replied, noticing Chopper, Brook, and Ussop were already saying their goodbyes. "Hey where's Robin?"

"Ah. She wanted to explore some old architecture of the island's ruins, so Elder-Nyon took her on a tour." Shinpachi remembered.

"Speaking of exploring, anyone know where that Kagura-girl and Okita-boy are?" Franky spoke up.

Gintoki and Shinpachi paled considerably when they realized how long the two of them had been missing. "Gin-san, do you think they-"

**"AAAAAAAAAUUUUGH!"**

A loud scream was heard throughout the island, Sanji snapped his attention towards the direction. "ROBIN-CHAN! I'M COMING!" He ran into the woods.

"Megane, let us go back to the ship, for we do not want to be associated in what those two idiots obviously did." Gintoki paled.

"Ah. That's definitely true." Shinpachi turned and followed his back, and proceeded to go into hiding aboard the Thousand Sunny.

**XXXXXElsewhere on Amazon LillyXXXXX**

"HOW DARE YOU TWO?! THIS SHRINE IS SACRED! THIS WHERE OUR BATTLE MAIDENS PURIFY THEMSELVES BEFORE GOING OUT OR RETURNING FROM SEA!" Elder Nyon's voice could be heard everywhere.

Robin had her hand over her eyes, and turned away from the disturbing scene. "Please dress yourselves before Cook-san arrives, I doubt he didn't hear me."

The disturbing sight she was referring to was the two teenagers entangled in a mess of leaves and twigs The only thing that protect their modesty was that they were hugging each other, and that Okita had his pants on, while his coat completely covered himself and Kagura. She was hugging him and was snuggled closely in his lap, while his coat completely covered her body.

"Fine, fine…but old lady turns around too." Okita waved them off.

"There sadist, we did it in their shrine of purity, could you let this exhibitionism thing rest a little now?" Kagura huffed, reaching for her dress over his shoulder; she was on her knees in his lap, but her entire front was still covered by Sougo's body, while he made sure his coat covered her back. He relished her small breasts pressing against his shoulder.

Resiting the urge to take her again, he sighed. "Fine, China. But I'm still stealing one of the outfits."

"Whatever, by all means, let's desecrate their culture even more." Kagura sighed. Leave it to Okita Sougo, the strict law-abiding tax-robber, to be turned on by rule-breaking.

**Review please! Also, for the one guest review who complains about making the Navy and World Government evil, two things: first of all, the Navy and World Government ARE the antagonists in One Piece, that's just the basic truth. Secondly, it's a fanfic, don't take it that seriously.**

**I apologize if this chapter was too rushed or sudden, or if I made Kamui out of character or Whitebeard OOC. PM me or leave it in the review if you have any concerns.  
**

**So without further ado, please vote from numbers 1-20; 1 being your first choice, 20 being your last choice. You can send me your votes via PM or review. Whichever works for you. So the match-ups are:  
**

**-Kijima Matako vs. Nami**

**-Kawakami Bansai vs. Zoro**

**-Takasugi vs. Gintoki**

**-Takechi Henpeita vs Shinpachi**

**-Aokiji vs Akainu **

**-Kizaru vs. Marco**

**-Sengoku vs. Garp**

**-Ace vs. Crocodile**

**-New CP9 vs. old CP9 (Kalifa, Kakku, Jabra, Blueno, Kumadori, Fukuro)**

**-Rob Lucci (with Hattori) vs. Spandine and Spandam**

**-Momonga vs. Kondo**

**-Whitebeard vs. Sengoku **

**-Kamui vs. Kagura and Umibozu**

**-Abuto vs. Sougo, Luffy, and Dragon**

**-Isaburo vs. Hijikata**

**-Nobume vs. Vista**

**-Robin vs. Tsuru**

**-Brook and Sanji vs. Donflamingo**

**-Chopper, Ussop, and Franky vs. Moriah**

**THANK YOU!  
**


	26. Pre-Wedding Jitters

**Hey guys! As promised, here's another chapter in celebration for Chinese New Year and my boyfriend's birthday party tomorrow! So as a reminder, this is the final chapter before the final fights. The 'Pirate's Eye Diamond' is FINALLY revealed, so I hope you're ready for that. Other than that, please vote on your character fights, I'm going to focus on the top seven fighting pairs most likely, maybe more maybe less, but the higher ranking you give a clashing pairs, the more attention I'll give it.  
**

**So without further ado, read, enjoy, review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama or One Piece**

There was a tense silence in a guest dorm in Marineford; two occupants sat on the bed. One was a beautiful navy-haired woman with blood red eyes, the other was an equally beautiful male with salmon braided hair, and blue eyes. They were both stripped down to their underwear, in the process of changing eachother's bandages, as well as recovering from their previous activity.

"It probably wasn't a good idea to have sex while you were recovering." Nobume said as she re-wrapped some bandages around Kamui's torso. She was in a dark pink camisole and hot-shorts, she applied some antiseptic to some of the more raw wounds over the shirtless man's body. Kamui was only in his boxers.

"Maybe, but it took the edge off." He frowned when he noted some of the wounds from Rob Lucci hadn't healed yet. "Humans really are fragile creatures; your fight with him was almost two weeks ago."

"Coming from the man who supposedly heals instantaneously. You lost to an old man who schooled you on the way of life; I'd say that your ego is more fragile than a human infant, actually." She said.

"Maybe. Or…I simply don't like other males putting marks on you." Kamui smiled, placing a hand over the one applying medicine. "Let's make a deal. The only male you fight from now is me, and you'll be mine exclusively for every battle."

"I am with the Mimiwarigumi; after this deal is settled I will be leaving with the captain unless if further collaboration is required. Furthermore, your proposal is ridiculous in nature because with our natures- it impossible to bind ourselves to one opponent, you and I both know it." She replied. "Are you looking for reason from what the old man said?"

"Not really, I was just thinking to myself as he talked- he really pissed me off. The nerve of him to assume that I wasn't already aware of my bloodthirsty nature, it is all a Yato is after all." Kamui smirked. "Really, what would a human, whose only known choice and freedom his whole life, possibly know what it's like to battle between your morals and instinct?"

"He wouldn't. But how would you know what it's like to choose between your duties and your ethics?" Nobume asked sharply.

"Assume nothing if you have not walked in that opponents shoes, Kamui. It's short-sighted and immature of you to say otherwise." Nobume said. "And also…I can confirm with what Whitbeard-san said…true strength only emerges when your pushed to absolute brink and beyond for the sake of helping someone or someone's ambition. The reason why you cannot achieve this ambition alone, is because when you are alone, you cannot be pushed other than physically. Emotional and mental stimuli are absent, and you only have yourself to train with."

"So essentially, I will remain weak if I remain alone." Kamui frowned, thinking of his sister's lover. "Is that why imouto-chan's getting stronger, to protect that little samurai? He's weaker than her by far, but I do give him kudos for having the nerve to stand up to a Yato. But still…that explains it though. Why imouto-chan's growth wasn't stunted by earth, or rather…she grew because she ventured there."

"After fighting alongside her, I can easily say that she becomes stronger in each fight because the stakes keep rising. It's the same with Sakata-san and Megane-kun, they keep fighting and getting stronger because they're trying desperately to protect what they already have. While you fight needlessly and grow weaker because you don't have that constant stresser; so yes- you are weak because everything's disposable to you." Nobume replied.

"Aw that's where you're wrong." Kamui sighed. "You are right when you say I'm careless in terms of fightsing however…I've found that I don't consider all those things disposable, so long as they keep to my standards."

"Meaning?" Nobume frowned.

Kamui suddenly flipped them to where he laid over her. "Keep up your strength, continue to help me grow stronger, and I'll never find you disposable."

"So long as you don't become like Oboro or Isaburo, then fine." Nobume interlaced her fingers with his. "I will gladly hold that exclusive honor." She allowed herself to smile slightly when they locked lips.

**Elsewhere in Marineford**

Takasugi frowned as he walked through the marine base, anxious to go over the plans with Bansai and the rest of his subordinates. It had to be clear that in three days time from now, that he would be the one to execute the Shiroyasha, just as he should've several years ago. His comrade had been long dead, and now it was up to him to destroy the world who took his sensei.

"It's dangerous for you to be wandering around without your disguise." He frowned, and turned to Isaburo,who texted away on his cellphone. "The Shinsengumi don't exactly you nd your company are here at the moment."

"What does it matter? They were disposable to us to begin with?" He frowned.

"True, but would it not be more fitting to see their anguished faces when they realized how badly they had been betrayed? To have them realize their pursuit to help a universe without a proper understanding of justice, had only brought the world down through intense chaos." Isaburo replied. "If you want that epic ending, Shinsuke-san, you need to stay in hiding and allow us the flexibility."

"You have nerve to give me orders, considering your subordinate failed to kill the missing Shinsengumi officer." Takasugi sneered.

"Okita-kun is no threat, he is too distracted by the female Yato. Besides, at any point Nobume could track her down and dispose of the girl, however defeating the enraged Shinsengumi first commander would prove hazardous. Which is why I thought it'd be best if she traveled with Kamui-kun, but it would appear that it provided them with nothing than a mere vacation." Isaburo sighed. "Okita-kun as well as the rest of the Shinsengumi will be executed on the platform along with Monkey D. Dragon; try to have some patience."

"You're right, it is simple paranoia on my part really. Whenever that idiot is involved, everything seems to rise up against me, or I am forced to improvise or reschedule." Takasugi said. "I look forward on those fools faces when they see the shadows come out."

"Indeed, what concerns me is this Whitebeard-san and Aokiji-san." Isaburo pointed out. "If Whitebeard managed to best Kamui, then he isn't something to be dealt with lightly; our first priority should be to eliminate him. His loyal insects will be naturally squashed as we form the path to him."

"What? You want to kill him personally?" Takasugi asked.

"No, I don't really care about Whitebeard-san in all honesty. There is the concern of Umibozu and that Aokiji-san I mentioned earlier." The monocle man said.

"I'll leave the government dogs here to fight amongst themselves, whether or not Aokiji still wears a uniform, that doesn't change what his objective is. Let the admirals fight amongst themselves I say." Takasugi said. "That's most likely to happen anyways."

"And Umibozu?"

"Let Kamui or myself kill him, whatever works really." Takasugi smirked. "But really, all this planning is fairly useless isn't it? Because once Dragon's head falls, and the Shinsengumi corpses lie flat; all hell will break lose. Anyone is subjected to the Anniversary, there's not getting out of it."

"Yes, I suppose you're right. The probability of any of us fighting the people we want is no greater than the lottery." The man in white flipped his phone shut. "What are you going to do until then?"

"Oh nothing really; I'm going to sit back…" The purple man walked to the open window and blew smoke from his pipe. "…And watch this world's last few sunsets."

**In Marineford Prison**

Dragon sighed and waited for the day to come to an end; the only reason how he could tell time was because his prison cell had a window. Suddenly the door opened, and he looked out, expecting to see his normal prison attendant. His eyes widened in shock.

"Y-You're-"

**XXXXALABASTAXXXX**

"Okay then, so it's settled! Aokiji fights Akainu, and I beat my idiot son into submission! As for the rest of you: free for all with those damned Navy people!" Umibozu shouted.

"Oi. What about this Takasugi-guy and his crew?" Ace pointed out.

"I don't care what happens to them, anyone could fight um. But my boy is my responsibility!" Umibozu proclaimed.

"No you idiot, he means, are there any other potent threats from your universe other than your son, or these Kihetai people? What I've been wondering about is the Shinsengumi. What is there role in this exactly? If I recall, one of their members fought Aokiji here, but the other two are with the Navy." Kureha frowned.

"That I'm afraid I don't know. I doubt the Shinsengumi split up, he probably separated form them before he was tangled up in the World Government's plot, would be my guess." Umibozu explained. "As for my daughter and her group, which includes that other Shinsengumi officer, you can count on their full allegiance."

"Fine, but what about those men in white. Aokiji mentioned the Mimiwargiumi woman, so I'm assuming there are others?" Kureha responded.

"Ah, I honestly don't know much about them." The bald man frowned. "All I know is that they're another police force from my universe, but unlike the Shinsengumi, they specialize in guarding and protecting the elite members of society."

"So they serve the same purpose as Cipher Pole." Vista figured.

"You could say. Though they actually know how to fight." Umibozu said.

"What about this Takasugi-san again? What will be the assignment regarding him?" Mihawk spoke up.

"Ah…I assume Permhead is going to take care of him…those two have quite a history." He sighed. "But don't worry, Takasugi's right hand I hear is pretty tough, so you'll get a good fight Mihawk-san!"

"I have another concern!" Vivi surprisingly spoke up. "Will Whitebeard-sama or Shanks-sama be involved in this fight?"

Ace frowned but answered anyways. "Pops…I really wish he wouldn't but…he's insistent and he's not going to take no for an answer."

"I don't know about Shanks." Ivankov spoke up. "He's been in contact with our Revolutionary group, but he didn't sound up to traveling. Still got the injury and the baby, after all."

"I see. If there are no other discussions, then we should get going." Kureha stood up.

"I concur. If we go full speed and not stop for breaks, we should be able to make it to Marineford within three days. I know a quick route." Aokiji got up as well.

"Then it's settled, but…I've got my eye on you Admiral; one false move and you're history." Ace glared.

"Yeah, yeah, let's go!" Aokiji waved him off.

"Let's move out!" Haruta shouted.

"Let me get your supplies ready!" Vivi was about to go to the storage units, but one of the guards whispered something to her. "Oh my! If you all will excuse me, there's something I have to attend to!"

"Sure!" Vista dismissed her.

As Vivi hurried down the hallway, she was greeted by Igarham who wore an anxious expression. "Your highness, there are several guests who wish to see you."

"Who? We're quite busy at the moment." She frowned.

"I assure you, it's important; he says it has to do with Odd-Jobs." The large man explained.

"I see, let's go then." Vivi followed Igraham into a random meeting room, and was delighted by who it was- Gan Hall, chief of Skypeia, along with two winged bodyguards. Having gotten acquainted with the sky people through Luffy, Alabasta and the sky island flourished with trading. "Gan Hall-sama, what brings you here?"

"Ah! Vivi-sama! So good to see you, though it must be a scary time to be on earth." The old man said.

"Yes, which is why I must insist that we keep this meeting short. I apologize greatly Gan Hall-sama, but I have no time to meet with you today. Igraham said you knew the Odd-Jobs pirates?" She asked.

"Yes…those bastards owe me a new scooter." The old man said darkly, but brightened. "But we'll talk about that later, I actually came along with another guest."

"Another guest?" Vivi frowned at the rude gesture.

"Rest assured, it's very relevant." He signaled his men to allow the princess to see the newcomer. It was a young girl who appeared to be about twelve; she was averaged height and fairly slender build. She had pale skin, sand-color hair, and reddish eyes. She wore a knee-length primitive yellow dress with red circle designs around the hem and her hair was about mid-back length and down in style. But what drew Vivi's eyes was what the girl had in her hands.

Kneeling down at eye level, Vivi smiled. "Hello, who might you be? Do you know the Odd-Jobs pirates?"

The girl also smiled but shook her head. "Nope! But I know the Strawhats! They're good people, aren't they?"

"I see. What island are you from?" Another person Luffy helped.

"I'm from Warship Island, and I have some special friends that introduced me to Skypeia about a year ago!" She smiled.

"Special friends?" Vivi repeated.

"Let's just say her friends have access to the sky." Gran Hall winked.

Her eyes widened in realization when she looked at the younger girl. "I see! You're the guardian of Lost Island! You must be Apis-chama, Bokuden-sama's granddaughter! How are the Sennryu?"

"SSHH! You're not supposed to know!" The girl pouted.

"Oops! You're right! I'm sorry! Demo…it's pretty dangerous here, you should stay in Skypeia until the war is over." Vivi said gently.

"But Gran Hall-sama said the Odd-Jobs needed this!" Apis held up the item proudly.

Vivian and Igraham stared at the item in disbelief. "Gran Hall-sama is this…?" Vivi trailed off.

"Hehe…sure is." Gran Hall smirked. "Those Odd-Jobs people aren't the only ones who crashed onto my island afterall."

"I don't believe this!" Igraham practically shouted. "The Pirate's Eye Diamond! It does exist!"

**XXXXWHITEBEARDXXXX  
**

"Pops, you sure you want do this?" Marco frowned, it was only just yesterday he sent that stupid alien punk packing, and now he was heading for a war.

"Marco, you're my oldest son…you've been with me for many years. You know that once I start something, I can't leave it unfinished." The old pirate stared at into the sea peacefully.

"Just make sure this isn't your last, Pops." The blonde sighed.

"Don't worry Marco, I don't intend my last on being Sengoku's battleground; the last place I'll die is on World Government territory. Besides…I want to meet this Odd-Jobs Permhead in person." Whitebeard's smile matched his mustache.

**XXXXXTHOUSAND SUNNYXXXXX**

Luffy sighed as he stared out from the ship; dejavu for him from two years ago. Like last time, Jinbe insisted on driving the ship to Marineford as quickly as possible, and like last time, he stood above the mast, looking out into the horizon. HE wore a serious expression, and looked down at his hand, frowning; unlike last time…he had no vivre card; he had no idea if his dad was dead or alive.

"Oi, Strawhat! Come down and have a drink with us." Gintoki ordered.

"I'll take some meat." He said; he knew his crewmates knew better than to bother him in the mood he was in, but Gintoki didn't seem to get it.

"Brooding about the situation isn't going to rescue your father, and if you don't get some rest, you won't be in any shape to fight for tomorrow." Gintoki said logically.

"I didn't sleep the night before I rescued Ace, this won't be any different." Luffy frowned.

"Ah. Jinbe-san told me the hell you went through to save your brother, and all the schelp you took in consequence. A good ambition, but I'd think you'd want this experience to go a little smoother. You have more than yourself to protect this time afterall." Gintoki pointed out.

"I don't need you to tell me that!" Luffy snapped, but then frowned. "Sorry, I'm just…"

"Still pissed, worried as hell, and you're wondering just what the hell to say to him after all these years. Correct me if I'm wrong, but this is your first time actually meeting him, right?" Luffy turned to him in surprise. "Garp-san told me all this before you ask; he told me back at your home island. Sorry."

"No, it's fine, I just…I wonder if Gramps is going to be there." Luffy sighed.

"Ah. He told me you and your brother have been distant with him since the War; can't say I blame yah, considering that he kind of hung the both of you out to dry. HE said that despite the two of you being his grandsons, he chose to follow his duty than to save the two of you." Gintoki drank some rum.

"What's your point?" Luffy frowned.

"MY point is, leave your regrets and feelings on this ship before you enter the battle coming up, or eliminate them in the next three days. They'll be here when you get back, so deal with them then." Gintoki replied.

"That sounds smart." Luffy nodded. "Permhead, you going to fight that Takasugi-bastard?"

"That is my reserved fight, yes." He nodded.

"Ah, forget it, he's mine." Luffy said.

"What?" Gintoki frowned.

"He's the one who hurt Shanks and he's the one who captured my dad; I'm fighting him, enough said." Luffy slid down the mast to face the older.

"Takasugi would chew you up and spit you out, you know that right?" Gintoki pointed out. "Besides, what's more important? Vengeance or the person you're trying to save from someone else's vengeance?" Luffy blinked at that. "Think about when you saved Ace-san; your mind was on nowhere but him; vengeance nor anger entered your mind because you were too focused on saving him. That's the one thing you did right in that war two years ago, don't…" He frowned when flashbacks of the Joi war came to him; anguishing over his sensei's head. "…allow vengeance to consume you on the battlefield. You turn into something you're not, and you end up nearly betraying the very person you wanted to save, or in my case, wanted to get justice for."

"Gintoki…" Luffy said.

"Trust me." He pat Luffy's strawhat. "Brats like you need to listen to their elders; don't make me put you in a time out during the battle. Because I'll break your legs if I have to, understand?"

"I'm made of rubber, though." Luffy couldn't help but grin!

"And I've snapped rubber tires in half with this old toothpick, want to see what I can do with a real blade?" Gintoki grinned. "You'd be sliced rubber bands in no time, believe it."

"HEY! NO BOSSING ME AROUND ON MY SHIP!" Luffy shouted.

**XXXXTHREE DAYS LATERXXXXXXXX**

Just like two years ago, Sengoku stood uptop of the execution platform, with his two remaining admirals sitting above it in their chairs. They looked as if they were waiting for a movie to start. The lower marines were preparing cannons, traps, guns, and whatever groundwork was necessary. The ships were setup and already out to see, there were select differences of course. For one: two of the Shichibukai were absent, and instead stood Blackbeard in Boa Hancock's place; the woman made something up about prior obligations. It didn't matter, she proved last time she couldn't be trusted against Strawhat; Mihawk had yet to arrive.

Another difference were the guests attendants: Spandam and Spandine had insisted on being here for the execution ceremony of Monkey D. Dragon, the man had been a thorn in Cipher Pole's side for such a long time, so that was only natural. There was also Isaburo at his side, pressing at that strange device still, and his men were below, loyally awaiting his orders. His Vice Captain and the amanto was somewhere else below, doing God knew what, while the Yato's crew of Amanto were also below, waiting for the battle to start.

CLANG!

Finally, Sengoku turned to the sound of chains approaching, and sure enough, there he was: Monkey D. Dragon. The leader of the Revolutionaries, and the most dangerous man in the world; his cloak was off, revealing his long hair and tattoos. Compared to his son, he had a very hard-looking face and had tattoos all over his body. It made Sengoku wonder what Garp's role was going to be, the man had retried, but from what he understood, the Odd-Jobs people ruined his blackmail plan. Sengoku then turned his focus to the two men accompanying him: Kondo Isao and Hijikata Toshiro; they would be his executioners today. They would also be their own world's holy sacrifices, the engagement of Absolute Justice entering the streets of Kabukicho.

He straightened up when Dragon was brought down to the platform; his robe was stripped of him, revealing his tattoos and muscular body. Dragon looked down as his hands were shackled to ground similary to how Ace had his, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone.

Spandam and Spandine smirked and approached him. The insipid son spoke first. "So this is the famous Monkey D. Dragon! The most dangerous man in the world?! Not so tough now that justice caught up to you?"

When Dragon didn't respond, Spandine got annoyed. He grabbed Draogn's hair and made him look up at them. "Answer when my son talks to you!"

SWIPE!

Spandine and Spandam backed off when they felt a blade fly by their eyes. Hijikata sheathed his sword, and puffed his cigarette. "Don't antagonize the prisoner, it takes out the effect of his final moments."

"WHAT?!" Spandam yelled, and went forward. "Listen you-"

"Toshi's right." Kondo pushed his sword out slightly. "We do executions differently form where we come from, and while we're accepting that this is a public display, that doesn't mean we can't implement our own customs. This one is: respect and privacy law: no pushing the inmate's buttons."

Spandine growled. "Fleet Admiral! Are you really just going to let them do that?!"

"Considering we're about to restart the war, I'd recommend that all of you stop these shenanigans." Sengoku's eerie voice spoke. Spandine and Spandam got back into their positions, while the Fleet Admiral glared at the two black horses. "As for you two, might I remind you that this will be broadcasted all over the world, so I would appreciate it, if you would hold your moral and ethics for after the fact?" Neither men said anything. "Good." Sengoku spoke into a Den Den Mushi. "Tsuru, are the televisions and Den Den Mushi set up?"

_"Yes. They're ready."_ She said on the other end.

"Good." Sengoku glared at the upcoming battleships to Marineford; this is indeed just like before. "Hook me up, I'm going to make this announcement brief."

_"Whenever you're ready."_

"Oh believe me…" He glared straight at the Strawhat boy aboard his pirate ship. "This time I am. There's no escape for any of them."

**Review please! Feel free to review or PM me if you have any last minute concerns about the final fight pairings. Once again, either rate your fight choices in the review or PM me it; whichever works. As a reminder, please rate the fights you see from 1-20 in terms of how much you want to see the characters fight. The higher the ranking, the more attention I'll give it. 1 is highest, 20 is lowest. So once again, here are your choices:**

**-Kijima Matako vs. Nami**

**-Kawakami Bansai vs. Zoro**

**-Takasugi vs. Gintoki**

**-Takechi Henpeita vs Shinpachi**

**-Aokiji vs Akainu **

**-Kizaru vs. Marco**

**-Sengoku vs. Garp**

**-Ace vs. Crocodile**

**-New CP9 vs. old CP9 (Kalifa, Kakku, Jabra, Blueno, Kumadori, Fukuro)**

**-Rob Lucci (with Hattori) vs. Spandine and Spandam**

**-Momonga vs. Kondo**

**-Whitebeard vs. Sengoku **

**-Kamui vs. Kagura and Umibozu**

**-Abuto vs. Sougo, Luffy, and Dragon**

**-Isaburo vs. Hijikata**

**-Nobume vs. Vista**

**-Robin vs. Tsuru**

**-Brook and Sanji vs. Donflamingo**

**-Chopper, Ussop, and Franky vs. Moriah**


	27. Here comes the Bridezilla

**Hey guys! So the fights have been decided, and will be officially listed next week with the next chapter. I admit I was feeling kind of lazy with this chapter, so apologies if anything feels too abrupt or OOC, thanks! So read, enjoy, review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama**

Sengoku cleared his throat as he stared at the upcoming battle that was to come. Just like before with Ace's execution, the air was so thick that you could break a saw with it, and everyone was anxious for the fight to begin.

_"Sengoku. You're ready." _Tsuru spoke though the Den Den Mushi

"Ah." Clearing his throat, he began.

_"Citizens of the world! It was on this day, two years ago that we attempted to wipe-out the last Go.l D. Roger, by the attempted execution of Gol. D. Ace. As you all know, our efforts to extinguish the bloodline was effort by the Whitebeard pirates, his allies, and Monkey D. Luffy. But that is what makes today such a momentous occasion, for today we execute something just as dangerous, if not more dangerous than Roger's bloodline. For today…we gather for the execution of the Revolutionary Monkey D. Dragon…father of Monkey D. Luffy. So without further ado…"_ Sengoku narrowed his eyes when the pirate ships got into position, he looked to Hijikata and Kondo to get into position. Once they did he spoke one last time into the Den Den Mushi. _"Let's finish what we started. Strawhat…save your father if you can."_

**On the Thousand Sunny**

Luffy glared at the blatant challenge, he felt a hand squeeze his shoulder for reassurance. He looked to see it was Gintoki; he, Shinpachi, Kagura, Sougo were already in position to fight. The rest of his crew got into their stances as well. Sighing, he looked to his shipwright. "Franky…clear a path to him."

"You got it." After pressing a few buttons in his arm, Sunny's mouth opened and after a few minutes, the ship started to shake. "VIBRATION SENSATION!" Franky shouted as his ship sent out a giant sound blast. As expected, it cracked the walls and cannons, eliminating the first obstacle from last time. Where those bastards trapped the pirates like cowards, and had lava raining down on them. He turned to his left and saw several of Whitebeard's ships like last time, and several other ships that he didn't recognize.

"Strawhat Boy!" Luffy smiled when he recognized Ivankov, so these were Revolutionary ships. Luffy frowned when he saw Sanji tremor.

"Sanji…what's wrong?"

"Nothing, just horrible memories from hell." He twitched.

"Can it curly-brow, we don't have time for your bitching." Zoro stepped forward.

"EHH?!"

"He's right, we have to focus." Nami added. "So what's the plan of attack?"

"Hmmm…Sakata-san…do you see the man called Takasugi here?" Robin asked.

Gintoki frowned. "He's definitely here."

"OI! YOU GUYS COMING OR WHAT?!" Everyone looked down to see Kagura and Sougo already running ahead.

"OI! What do they think they can do by themselves?!" Ussop asked.

"Apparently more than us." Gintoki shrugged and also jumped the ship, Shinpachi followed. "You coming, Strawhat?"

Luffy, his crew, and Jinbe jumped down. "EVERYONE! LET'S GO! AND DAD!" For the first time ever, Luffy and his dad faced each other, eye-to-eye. "YOU BETTER STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE, CAUSE I'M KICKING YOUR ASS!"

**Whitebeard's Ship**

Ace smirked in pride at his little brother, but frowned at the upcoming battle. He turned to his captain with a worried expression. "Pops…you sure you want to do this?"

"Eh. Clear the way to Sengoku…I'm teaching that idiot a lesson." Whitebeard smirked.

Looking at Marco, the man shrugged, indicating defeat. Ace let out a heft sigh. "Fine Pops, you win."

Revolutionary Ships

"EVERYONE LISTEN UP! WE COME HERE TODAY TO SAVE OUR LEADER! SO WITH THE WORLD AS OUR WITNESS, LET'S SHOW THESE NAVY-BASTARDS WHAT'S TO COME!" Ivankov announced. "ARE YOU READY?!"

"YEEEEAAAHH!" The Revolutionaries yelled and jumped off the ship, heading towards the battle.

At the Execution Platform

Sengoku looked ahead at the pirates charging forward to the awaiting marines, he looked to Dragon. "You should be proud, once again, your son single-handedly has the whole world side against justice to stop the inevitable."

"I never asked him to come." Dragon growled.

"I know, it's just a shame that your father couldn't be here." Sengoku sighed. "He was such a good marine, it would've been nice to see at least one of his sons to follow his example."

"So glad to see they didn't join the cult. They didn't fall the disillusion Sakazuki fell for." Dragon snorted.

"Ah, that's right. Lucinda fell for you, and it cost her, her life didn't it?" Sengoku asked.

"We fell in love, but she only lost her life in consequence to the pressure that you and Sakazuki placed on her. You hounded her to the point where she had to give birth in secret; we didn't even have access to a doctor at the time." Dragon growled.

"Then blame your son or yourself for the terrible timing." Sengoku replied.

"Hehe…that's rich Sengoku, even now you still blame me and my son for the Sakazuki family's downfall. They were the mediators between Donflamingo's SMILE and the World Government; it was their own fault for getting greedy and attempting to grab power when they shouldn't have. The only reason why they spared Akainu was because he was already in the Navy at the time, and they had disowned Lucinda for eloping with me. You're pathetic for twisting it, Sengoku." Dragon sneered.

"Hush now Dragon, soon you and the world will see our new Universal Justice in action, and everyone will see it is for the best." Sengoku said.

"That's the problem with you World Government and Navy bastards, you always think you know what's best for the people, when you never even ask the people what they think!" Dragon exclaimed.

"The people need us to guide them and protect them! It is impossible to protect them in chaos! We are all fighting for what we think is best, but truly…the best is complete extermination of the Revolutionaries and the pirates. As long those irregularities exist, the people will never have complete faith in justice." Sengoku answered. He turned his attention to Kondo and Hijikata, who were listening but didn't interrupt out of respect. "Get into position; it's almost time."

"Understood." Kondo and Hijikata raised their swords over Dragon's head.

"Dragon, look at your son one last time; I want to his expression once your head comes off." Sengoku requested.

"Go to Hell." Dragon replied, but stole a glance at the incoming rubber boy anyways. Like with Ace's execution, Luffy was barreling through people and was making his way towards the execution platform. But Luffy had many more resources to his disposal this time; he had mastered haki, his crew was by his side, and now he had experience. His son knew this battleground and wasn't going to make the same mistakes as last time. Right now, his son was simply walking straight to him; if his crew or Odd-Jobs weren't knocking down marines, he was knocking them out with Conquers haki.

Soon enough…Luffy was standing in front of the execution platform, looking up at his dad straight in the eye. Everything dispersed around him; other than the moment Luffy was born, this was the first time he had ever looked at his son. Oh how he had grown; his son was no longer an infant, but a young man who had already started his life. Looking at him, he could see why Ivankov had so much faith in him, he could see the same certainty in his son that his comrade saw. If only this had been under different circumstances.

"COMMENCE EXECUTION!" Sengoku's booming voice snapped them out of it.

Luffy's eyes widened and sent a blast of haki at the two Shinsengumi, only for it to be blocked by Sengoku. "NO! LET HIM GO!"

"You've come far Strawhat, everyone can see that. But unfortunately…it isn't enough, and after today, you'll understand it will never be enough." Sengoku spoke.

"Damn it old guy! Just let dad go! You tried to hurt Ace and I stopped you! So I'll stop you again if I have to!" Luffy dashed forward, only for him to jump back.

SPLOOSH!

Luffy's eyes widened at the familiar red liquid as it quelled in front of him; slowly…he looked up and saw the very face that had haunted him and Ace to this day. After two years, Akainu hadn't changed much; he was still extremely tall, wore the red suit, but now had a gotique. That signature grim, yet arrogant expression was unmistakable to Luffy. Clutching his chest, he glared up at the admiral, hatred coursing through his veins. "You…"

"Good to see you again, Strawhat; that's a suiting expression for your death." He powered up a fist. "Let's do it sir; let the world witness rebel father and son die at the hands of justice."

"Ah. Kondo-san…Hijikata-san…bring your blades." Sengoku ordered.

"Ah." Hijikata and Kondo brought down their weapons.

"DAD!"

"LUFFY!"

CHING!

Time stood still momentarily; Luffy felt his heart stop as he saw his father fall to his side. "DAD!" Luffy roared, and immediately glared at Akainu. "YOU!" He shot a blast of haki at red man, and when he knew he had an opening, sent a direct punch at the man's face. "HOW DARE YOU?!"

"How dare we, Strawhat? No, the question is: how dare you? How dare you for being born, if not for you, none of this would've happened." Akainu replied.

"What are you talking about?! First you try to take Ace away! And now Dad!" Luffy exclaimed.

"It was that damned pirate ideology that made this world fall into chaos two years ago!" Akainu yelled back. "This world never needed pirates back then, and it certainly doesn't need it now! That damned pirate ideology took everything from me!" Akainu took his chance and brought his fist down on Luffy.

CLANG!

"Oi, oi, no blaming little kids for your own problems, old man." Gintoki swished his sword, making Akainu back off. Gintoki was very thankful Mihawk had a seastone sword to spare; otherwise cutting through magma would've been difficult. "And you…" He uncovered Luffy from his arm. "Stay focused, the goal is to get out of here alive after all."

"Dad's dead." Luffy stated.

"What are you talking about, he's fine; his head's still attached to his body." He smirked at the two Shinsengumi officers. "OI! Mayora! Gorilla! You take Souchiro and Kagura for a month after this! When he met up with us, he put us through hell!"

"URUSAI DAMN PERMHEAD! YOU'RE JUST LUCKY YOU HAVEN'T BEEN STUCK IN THIS CRAPHOLE OF A BASE!" Hijikata yelled down at him

"You two know each other?!" Sengoku exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell us this?!"

"Hey, Isaburo knew him too." Kondo shrugged.

"WHAT?!" He glared at the man, who had been too busy texting on his phone to even notice what was going on.

"Hm?" He looked up and around himself. "Oh, I see it's already begun; no point in hiding any longer, I suppose."

"What do you mean?" Sengoku asked.

"It means exactly it says, Sengoku-san…" Kondo spoke, he banged his blade down on Dragon's shackles, cracking them into dust. "…There's no point in hiding the fact that you're working with the Kihetai."

"WHAT?!" Sengoku sputtered. "D-Don't be ridiculous! They may be space pirates, but still pirates! We'd never converse with any other pirates other than the Shichibukai!"

"Stupid moron." Hijikata pointed his sword at the Fleet Admiral. "I overheard Takasugi and Isaburo talking the other day, and we've been suspicious of your activity for awhile because of Sougo. Even though we told you not to send people at Odd-Jobs, you did so anyways. Oi! Isaburo! You with the Kihetai too?"

"Indeed, along with the Harusame." Isaburo got out his gun. "Nothing personal, just business."

"Sounds good!" Hijikata charged at the man, slicing the gun out of his hand; the men landed off the platform; Isaburo drew his sword and got into his stance as well.

"WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT'S GOING ON?!" Spandine yelled.

"I'll tell you what's going on." Kizaru stepped down from his seat, he smirked at the people matching up to their opponents. He looked up the sky and saw his familiar opponent from two years ago: Marco the Phoenix. "Wonder if Whitebeard is going to get involved this time. Guess the other commanders came back with vengeance."

"I see…we should get going…" Spandam was about to leave with his father, only to be stopped by several marines.

"Oh…you're not going anywhere." Under the hat, one of them revealed themselves to be Blueno. BANG! Spandam and Spandine were sent off the execution platform. Sengoku fisted his arm, preparing to fight; Luffy and his father were still up here, and he wasn't letting them down. To his surprise, the former CP9 people jumped down to follow their victim.

"Luffy-kun?" Kondo asked the Strawhat boy. "You and your father should go…I'll cover you."

"But dad's…"

"I'm fine Luffy." Luffy turned behind him and saw Dragon rise up. "Thank you Kondo-san…you're a good man…truly."

"You can compliment me when the battle's over! Get back to your ship!" Kondo yelled.

"You think I'll let you?" Sengoku stepped forward; he glanced at Kizaru to see he was still facing Marco. He looked around himself and finally noticed that everyone had already gotten into place for their battle.

"Dragon, get going!" Kondo yelled. "They planned to kill us to begin with!"

"Relax, de gozaru." Kondo froze and turned to the familiar black-haired musician. "We aren't fighting you, we are only interested in fighting the strongest. Takasugi-san is already making his way to Sakata-san, and Sengoku-san…it's nothing personal…but your tune went from a classical orchestra to a screcchy fiddle with broken strings. You and Akainu lost some of your reason as a result from two years ago."

"Go…we'll cover you." Kondo said one last time.

Dragon frowned, but put a hand on Luffy. "Thank you…please be safe Kondo-san."

"Ah! Thanks Gorilla-san!" Luffy followed his dad.

Kondo cried slightly. "Even in this universe…"

"Good, they're gone…now if you'll excuse me…I have an opponent to fight. I was promised a fight with Roronora Zoro in exchange for my cooperation. Good day." Bansai hopped off to his next fight.

Kondo watched silently, and went to the ledge to jump down as well. "I must say…I'm disappointed Kondo-san…I thought you'd understand."

"No Sengoku-san…I understand the need to provide and protect your men; especially if they depend on you as much as they do. But it's also the leader's job to set good examples, explain the limits and right the wrongs of your subordinates. Sengoku-san, I'm sorry…but even if the Kihetai hadn't been involved, I still wouldn't have been able to go along with this." Kondo said sadly.

"Why's that?" Sengoku frowned.

"Because what you're doing isn't justice; it's cover-up. What you're doing doesn't even qualify as politics, you were just trying to finish what you started two years ago. I can understand the devastation of being humiliated in front of the whole world, but that fight never should've been about your personal pride to begin with." Kondo explained. "That fight should've been about putting people fears at east, and showing them there was nothing to fear in the near and far future. That peace and justice would protect them all."

"We were trying to accomplish that!" Sengoku hissed. "This day two years ago was meant to wipe out the pirate line, to end the pirate dream! To show people that that dream was completely impossible!"

"That's another thing you did wrong: no dream's impossible. Even if you did manage to kill his son, people would still remember Gol. D. Roger, and they certainly would remember the Navy and World government pulling such dirty tricks to win the war." Kondo frowned. "You used Ace-san to lure the one he called father into the battlefield, along with all his brothers and sisters just as you planned, int the efforts of wiping them out. Had it truly been about Ace-san's execution, you wouldn't have made such a spectacle of it, and you wouldn't have lured the pirates in. He cheated every step of the way here Fleet Admiral, and now it'll bite you in the ass again."

"Why should I care?! They're pirates! They're revolutionaries! Why do you even care?!" Sengoku demanded.

"Because they're also people. People who have loved ones and comrades who are counting on them and expect them to make it home for supper on time. When you kill someone, you always take someone away from a group like that; that's why I never use my sword lightly." Kondo said. "Today was all about humiliating Dragon-san and settling the score with Luffy-kun; justice had absolutely nothing to do with the equation. Toshi and I knew that from the start."

"I see… a shame then." Sengoku sent some energy into his arm. "Too bad I won't let you leave here." Suddenly, a strong grip fell onto Sengoku's shoulder.

"OH SURE YOU WILL SENGOKU! AFTER ALL…you'll have to fight me." TOSS! Kondo watched as an old brawly man in a black suit tossed Sengoku several hundred feet into a building behind them. The old man turned to Kondo with a grin and thumbs up. "Don't worry, I'll take care of him! You just go help my grandson and son!"

"I see…thank you!" Kondo nodded and hopped off the platform, and the second he did…he came sword to sword with his next opponent. He instantly recognized the man. "Nice to see you again Momonga-san…too bad this couldn't be under better circumstances."

"Shut up! Damned traitor!" He hissed.

**With Gintoki**

The silver samira was getting irritated; he needed to buy Luffy and Dragon enough time to get passed, but damn this bastard was tough, and he needed to conserve his energy for Takasugi. Suddenly, a rock was tossed on Akainu, crushing the man under the weight. Gintoki turned his back to see Nico Robin with her arms crossed.

"Find Takasugi-san!" She called. "There was a man matching his description following Dragon and Luffy!"

"AH!" Gintoki ran past her.

Meanwhile, Akainu reformed and glared down at the woman in annoyance. "Ah it's you…the Ohara survivor, you always were an embarrassing blight on our system."

"Ah. And I was about to say the same thing to you. It's embarrassing that a war hound such as yourself has the seat of the hunter and musket." She responded. "MASS FLEUR!" Two giant hands formed and gathered as much wet dirt and rocks as possible, and proceeded to pad Akainu down with them.

Akainu merely fisted his lava hand and shot into it. He then jumped up and was about to punch Robin while she was unprotected.

BANG!

Akainu was sent back, feeling his hand get the familiar frost-bite feeling. He glared at his opponent. "Kuzan…should've kept to your book keeping duties."

"I found a reason to get out of retirement." He shrugged and stood up completely, making sure Robin was behind him.

"A-Aokiji-san…" Robin was stunned.

"Focus on your own opponent, little woman." Aokiji chided.

Turning so she was back to back with him, her eyes widened at her challenger- the genius strategist Tsuru. Glancing back over her shoulder at the taller man, she could only hope that he'd stay loyal to her until she got into a better position to fight him.

**Luffy and Dragon**

Despite all the cover they got, they didn't get very far until they faced their next obstacles. Dragon frowned in recognition of these people: they were two of the Kihetai members, Kamui, and the Mimiwarigumi second in command.

"Ara…where do you think you're going?" Kamui smiled.

"Out of the way!" Luffy demanded.

"I'm afraid that won't happen." The lolicon replied.

"Besides…" Finally…Takasugi and Bansai approached the father and son. "I wanted to meet this Strawhat in person; how do you do? I am Takasugi Shinsuke, I am the man who caught your father."

"Ah. So you're the jerk I have to beat up then." Luffy cracked his fist.

"You're not beating anyone up yet, Strwaht-brat." Luffy growled at the interruption, but looked up on some cliff to see Gintoki observing them His red eyes glared hatefully at the one-eyed man. "We've got a score to settle, don't we Takasugi?"

"Ah. We do." He smiled at the upcoming marimo and orange beauty. "Bansai-san…it appears as though your opponent has arrived."

"Luffy!" Zoro stopped abruptly when Bansai got in front of him. "Move it!"

"Interesting…your tune is like a two strands of grass blowing together; sputter but useful for only certain situations." Bansai unsheathed his sword. "Let's see if this situation is one of them."

"Fine then! I've been wanting to fight one of you alien samurai for awhile now!" Zoro drew his swords as well.

"Luffy! Are you all right?!" Nami already set her weapon for the upcoming fight, and was ready for her assignment.

"I'm fine Nami!" Luffy smiled.

BANG! BANG!

Instantly, Nami got in front of her captain and perried the bullets. She glared at the blonde gunman. "Don't ever raise your gun to my captain."

"You have your loyalties, I have mine." Matako got into position. "Shinsuke-sama! I will bring you this woman's head!"

"It won't be that easy, she doesn't have a devil fruit." Takechi said, and looked around his person to fight. "Now where did my opponent go?"

"I'm right here!" Shinpachi, Kagura, and Okita finally caught up to the group and were ready. "We're having our rematch! I'm going to kick your ass with everything Gin-san taught me in being a samurai!"

"What? How to give yourself diabetes?" Nobume asked.

"HEY! DON'T DENOUNCE SUGAR!" Gintoki shouted.

"I'm going to go fight now; have fun." She bid everyone goodbye and went hunting.

"She's flighty that one." Kamui whistled and turned to Kagura and Okita. "I don't really want to fight weaklings, but I suppose I have no choice. You are welcome to fight me together, if you want."

"Shut up Baka-nii!" KAgura got her umbrella ready. "I'm kicking your ass!"

"Really? Will you be helping little samurai?" Kamui smirked.

"Oh no, China and I are in a contest to see who will kill you faster. If I win, it's my treat for the week, but if I win it's China's kind of treat. So as you can tell…losing is absolutely not an option for me." Sougo got his sword out. "Kondo-san and Hijikaita-san can handle the Kihetai…but I'll be taking your head."

"Stop spewing corny lines Sadist!" Kagura shouted.

"Well now, let's-"

"Hey boss." Abuto appeared beside him. "I'm bored give me someone to fight."

"Hmmm…that's a good point actually." Kamui smirked. "Little samurai, you can fight Abuto-san here; he's weaker than me and only has one arm, so you should fair okay."

"Don't insult me, bastard." Abuto and Sougo glared at each other for saying the words at the same time.

"Don't worry, Abuto-san." His eyes fell on Dragon and Luffy. "It'll be a three on one fight: you versus Strawhat-san, Mr. Revolutionary, and Little Samurai. How does that sound?" Sougo and Kagura glared at Kamui for the suggestion; Dragon and Luffy didn't seem to fond of the idea either.

"Sounds good, but won't you get bored with just your sister?" Abuto asked.

"Oh no…can't you feel it?" Kamui looked over his shoulder. "Baldy's joined the pary too; it's a family reunion, don't you see?"

"Huh? Guess it's okay then." Abuto shrugged, and turned to address his opponents. "This is okay with you three, I presume?"

"I don't care whose ass I have to kick, I'm getting back to my ship." Luffy stated.

"I'm fighting alongside my son no matter what." Dragon said firmly.

"Okay." Abuto nodded, and turned to Sougo. "What about you?"

Frowning, the young samurai looked at his girlfriend; she gave him a nod and reassuring smile. "Don't worry Sadist, I won't die before you do!"

Clutching his sword, Okita held out his pinky to her. "Yes China…it's a promise that neither of us will meet our demise until it's at eachother's hands. So let's survive this battle so we can live on until that day."

Smiling, she latched her pinky with his and nodded. "So it's a vow! Let's all kick ass and go home! With or without that damned diamond!"

Gintoki sweat-dropped; at this point he didn't care if the diamond existed or not, he was never accepting jobs from that Baka Prince again.

**Review please! Also, did no one appreciate how I brought in Apis? Really?**


	28. Bitchy Bridesmaids

**Hey guys! I'm updating early because I won't have internet from Friday-Sunday; going out of town. Anyways, relish the beginning of the final fights coming in this epic battle! I'm too lazy to list the fights, so read them as you go. Thank you, read, enjoy, and review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama or One Piece**

The battlefield was chaos, there was simply no other way to describe it. Gintoki faced his opponent, dejavu flooded him from his days as the Shiroyasha, and like last time- he was finishing off war by facing his comrade. No, his former comrade; he was certain Takasugi renounced himself when he lost his eye. Everything else disappeared as Gintoki and Takasugi circled each other; marines and pirates clashing faded into nothing, but both were confident in their comrades' ability to survive. Raising the blade Mihawk gave him, Gintoki swished the blade out in front of him, as if it were a greeting.

Takasugi unsheathed his sword and did the same. "Once again, you interfere with the inevitable, Shiroyasha."

"No, just trying to stop some mad man from forcing his form of inevitable." Gintoki charged forward, and neither flinched when their swords clashed. "You always have to do this Takasugi…forcing others to feel tragedy because you can't get past your own!"

Swishing his sword, he managed to get Gintoki back a few feet, he then charged and tried an uppercut strike. Gintoki blocked that just easily. "At least I honor the past, and not toss it aside like a frivolous fool."

CLANG!

Takasugi landed several feet away with a glare. Gitnoki didn't lower his sword, but his feet changed slightly in position. "Takasugi…never say I disregard sensei."

"Hn. It amazes me that you can still say that." Takasugi swung his blade.

**Bansai vs. Zoro**

"About time. I've been wanting to cut some aliens in half for awhile." Zoro got into his standard Senryuu style, and awaited for Bansai to take his stance. "Oi,teme…take your stance; I'm getting impatient."

"Ara…you're Roronora Zoro-san…a pleasure to make your acquaintance." Bansai started. "As I said, wind blowing along with the notes of a grass harmonica; sputtering when a beat is missed though." He strummed his instrument, and took a step forward. "I was hoping to fight a strong sowrodsman here, but sadly Mihawk-sama was not available. I should hope his apprentice would make a decent substitute."

CLANG!

Bansai blocked Zoro's attack with one hand, and swiped at the man.

Zoro frowned at the strings he felt against his body; so that was his game, eh? "So you're a string specialist? Goes with your gimmick I suppose."

"Eh. I prefer listening to life as I experience it, and find all the different tunes and notes absolutely riveting." He raised his sword above the marimo. "Inspiration is all around us, don't you agree Roronora-san?"

SWIPE!

All the string were cut in an instant, and Bansai had to jump back in surprise. He landed several feet away from the Senryuu pirate and took off his headphones; revealing them to be broken. Frowning, he charged forward and clashed with Zoro several times, before landing a slight slash at his bandana, creating a split in the front. The men continued their entranced fight, ignoring their comrades momentarily.

**Aokiji vs. Akainu**

Aokiji sighed as he observed his old comrade; he hadn't changed much in the few years, just a gotique to make him look even scarier. He stole a glance behind him to make sure Robin was okay against her opponent; she seemed to be fairing well against Tsuru. He was thankful to the Revolutionaries for giving her training.

"You look well, Aokiji." Akainu said.

"Ah. I've been well; bookkeeping has its own rewards as well. You help good people, and don't have to kill a single person for it." Aokiji sighed.

"You're a disgrace Aokiji. You were once one of the three power houses of the Navy, but then you went soft and defected once you couldn't accept defeat." The red man sneered.

"No. I turned away from it, once I saw what my former comrade had become. And by the way…Akainu…" Aokiji breathed in, and allowed his body to be slowly converted into ice. "…you didn't win…I simply chose what was more important and gave you a meaningless title. No title was worth burning that picture."

"Tch. I'm beginning to detest the very idea of love now; first you fell in love with a fugitive, and then Lucinda fell in love with Dragon." Akainu fisted his hand, and allowed lava to flow from his arm.

"Ah. That's right; you almost burnt your nephew to death two years ago, didn't you? How do you think Lucinda would've felt then?" Aokiji sneered.

"It doesn't matter; she renounced any feelings or alliance towards me once she married that bastard, and had that THING!"

PLOW!

Aokiji sent an ice ball against the lava projectile, and stood his ground. "I always wondered why you considered even the children of pirates scum, and even furthered wondered what about your grudge against Garp-san. But now I have the answers to both questions; Lucinda always asked me about other islands and asked me to smuggle in maps and books behind your back. Now it makes sense- she longed to have the very freedom her son now has. She must be very proud."

"SHUT UP!"

SIZZLE!

Ice and lava collided and an eruption of steam occurred between the admirals. The steam suddenly hardened and encased Akainu in a bubble of water around his head. Akainu breathed through his nose, and the water evaporated just as fast. But Aokiji wasn't down, he once again manipulated the steam and cuffed Akainu's hands with the hardened material.

The red man broke the cuffs easily, and punched the ground; melting the ground around him and Aokiji. Akainu melted in the rocks and disappeared.

"ADMIRAL!" Aokiji turned around abruptly, and gasped in horror. About a hundred feet from him, was Robin in AKainu's headlock. It took a moment for Tsuru to regain herself, but she spoke again. "Admiral Akainu, that is my opponent, now release her this instant!"

"Do not forget your ranking Tsuru; you are a Vice Admiral and are subject to treason should I find evidence of it. Now stand down or find another fight, this no longer concerns you." He turned back to Aokiji. "I'm only going to say this once, Aokiji. Stand down or I melt this woman's trachea shut. Make the right choice for her, that is your duty after all."

"Akainu…" Icy smoke was emitting from Aokiji's hands and arms; the air was becoming colder and the sky was darkening. "I'm only going to say this once…release her…you know why you had to cheat last time…don't think I won't do it again."

"Cheat?" Tsuru frowned. "What does he mean, Akainu?"

"Nothing; he made the wrong decision at our fight, and he's about to make the wrong decision now." Akainu tightened his hold on Robin.

"What is he talking about, Aokiji?!" The old woman demanded.

Looking at his daughter, Aokiji clenched his hands and put his hands in the air. "When Akainu and I dueled for the position of Fleet Admiral, I lost on purpose."

**Nami vs. Matako**

"Robin!" Seeing her comrade in danger, Nami tried to make a run for it.

BANG!

Nami froze when she felt a bullet fly through her hair.

Matako glared harshly at her opponent. "You need to focus on your own fight before worrying about others, tangerine."

"What was that?!" Nami growled.

**-Brook & Sanji vs. Donflamingo**

Sanji forze mid-kick, which allowed Donflamingo to catch the man's foot with his devil fruit. "Shit!" Sanji cursed.

"YOHOHO!" Brook slashed at the boa-man, and took the blonde's place in getting his hand cut off. As expected, the bones simply reformed to his wrist. Due to his undead status, he was able to fight against the Boa man fairly easily. "Sanji-san! What's wrong?!"

"YOU IDIOT?! ROBIN-CHAN'S IN TROUBLE!" Sanji yelled.

"Eh? Really?" Brook looked his way and gasped. "Quickly then!"

As both men ran forward, both felt their bodies freeze mid-step. "Now, now…don't make me do something nasty. Your crewmates have their own shit to deal with, so deal with your own."

"You bastard…" Sanji growled.

"I'm not a lady, but…I know how to have a good time." Donflamingo couldn't wait for the torture to begin with that Nico Robin.

**Chopper, Ussop, & Franky vs. Moriah **

"Robin!" Ussop quickly took aim at Akainu, but had to fire at the shadow creature looming behind him. He jumped to get back to back with Chopper and Franky. "Guys! This is bad! Akainu has Robin!"

"What?!" Chopper exclaimed.

"Damn! We need to get over there!" Franky growled.

"That won't do! If I have the Strawhat shadows, they'll let me be a Shichibukai permanently!" Moriah cheered.

**Abuto vs. Sougo, Luffy, & Dragon**

Luffy gasped as his comrade was taken hostage. Immediately, he dropped his fight with the umbrella man, and ran towards Robin was.

BANG!

"Nothing personal, but I can't let you get to her; it'd be a bad idea." Abuto apologized.

Luffy clenched his fists and slowly turned around to face the man. "Oi…you telling me to abandon my nakama?"

"It's unfortunate, but that's what's it comes down to, yes." Abuto nodded.

POW!

As quick as a flea, Luffy was up in Abuto's face and sent him a punch great enough to split a space ship in half. "I can tolerate being deceived and lead around by strangers, but DON'T EVER tell me to abandon my nakama!"

"That was a good punch, seems that you get angry by the sight of loss; common for young warriors." Abuto commented, rubbing his cheek.

"She served in my army for two years, I owe her and consider her my comrade as well…" Abuto's eyes widened when he felt hands pressed against his back. "…Don't get in our way."

SPIN!

Abuto was sent flying several feet back, due to a tornado being thrusted into his back. The adult Yato groaned and stood up, seeing that his prey was getting away, he raised his umbrella and jumped in front of him. Just as he was about to bring his umbrella down, he found himself clashing with a sword.

CLANG!

Luffy and Dragon stared in shock at the sadistic samurai, who had just blocked the alien's blow.

Sougo glared at them over his shoulder. "Go! You two amateurs are in the way!"

"Hey! Who are you calling amateurs?!" Luffy shouted.

"Luffy-"

Sougo cut Dragon off. "You two are amateurs; this is an adult male Yato, the strongest race in the universe. I've been fighting with a juvenile for several years now, so I've been training up for this moment. To prove myself to my father-in-law, and to prove once and for all, that I'm ready for the promotion to second in command of the Shinsengumi, and become the King of Sadists."

"What are you talking about?!" Luffy shouted.

"Besides…you have better things to do don't you?" Sougo gestured towards Robin. "Go! You're in my way!"

Growling, Dragon patted his son's shoulder and jetted forward. He looked to Sougo in gratitude. "Thank you."

Sougo didn't respond, but when he was sure the two idiots were far enough behind him, he got his sword into a more aggressive stance. "I hear you work with the Harusame."

"Eh. I am the second in command of Admiral Yato Kamui, Yato Abuto." He introduced.

"Listen useless-corpse-san, I could care less of what your name is, you only have one purpose to me." Sougo smirked.

"Oh? And what's that?" Abuto rose a brow.

"My ticket to Baldy's approval." Sougo charged forward, and his blade clashed with that umbrella once again.

"Ah, so you're the little sister's lover." Abuto spoke, catching Sougo's interest. "I first met the brat back in Yoshiwara when Hosen-sama was defeated."

"Huh? You don't say; China didn't mention anything about fighting another Yato." The younger frowned.

"I don't blame her, considering what the fight lead to." He smirked at the nervousness the younger was feeling. "Don't worry, we did nothing indecent in that nature, however she did discover the dormant side of herself that all Yato possess, but due to how she was suppressing it, her reaction was much more extreme than anticipated."

"What are you getting at, old timer?" Sougo was starting to feel his sadism becoming homicidal.

"When Yato's suppress their fighting nature as she did, or don't develop properly though outlet channeling that they learn in combat, they essentially develop a double personality. The weaker side is normally the one you see and interact with everyday; she still has her strength and she still fights, but it doesn't turn to blood as you've no doubt noticed. But once that wild side, the dormant side is released it's the equivalent of having 100 battle ships fire at you. Your lover was so extreme, that she almost killed me and her little glasses friends." Abuto explained.

Sougo couldn't believe what he was hearing; he clutched his katana tightly and started walking forward. "I see…Abuto-san…what did you do to make China become like that?"

"Ah. I had almost killed the glasses boy, she released that side to protect him."

SWIPE! STAB!

In speeds so fast, Abuto felt the sword's motion cut his body and observed his own blood spurt out of his body.

"I see. So you didn't violate China's body…you did something worse…" Sougo held his sword above Abuto's eye. "You violated her soul."

**Kamui vs. Kagura & Umibozu**

"Hmm…this is an interesting setup isn't it father?" Kamui asked cheerfully. "You and imoto came together to fight against me!"

"Baka-niichan." Kagura growled. "Stick to cutting yourself like a normal hobbyist-emo."

"Hobbyist-emo? That's quite a word." Kamui chuckled.

"It's what you are. You moan and gripe about how life sucks because it didn't turn out the way you wanted, so you run away." Umibozu joined. "That's right, I wished you had chosen cutting to vent your pain and frustration, rather than picking fights or running away from home."

"Yep! And there's only one way to treat this stupid emo-thing of yours!" Kagura cracked her knuckles.

"Oh? What's that?" Kamui smirked.

"Tough love!" Umibozu and Kagura said at the same time. After a tense moment of silence passed-

BAM!

One fist collided with two, and the three Yatos landed in separate corners from each other. Kagura charged forward and landed a punch on Kamui, but he grabbed her hand and tossed her over his shoulder casually. Umibozu grabbed the other arm and threw him into the ground, creating a creature-angel beneath his son, and stomped his foot into his stomach.

Kamui smirked as he felt blood drip form his mouth, and kicked his father's knee-caps in form behind, causing them to lock automatically.

As Umibozu toppled over, and landed on his back; his eyes widened when he felt kamui land his feet on his shoulder blades harshly, and felt a hand choke his neck. He grinned maliciously as he stared in into his father's face. "Just like old times, right father?"

BANG! BANG!

"Papi!" Kagura called as she shot bullets into Kamui's back. IT didn't really hurt him, but it was enough to get him off their father. She ran to her father's side, and stood over him with her umbrella, shooting rapidly at her brother.

CLUTCH!

"I said this to you once already…I have no time for weaklings. But I've decided something since I last saw you." He gripped his sister's neck harsher; liking the way the foam came out of her mouth. "I've decided not to tolerate weakness in general. So I'll simply dispose of it before it breeds."

"So that means you then, huh Kamui?" Umibozu gripped his son's shoulders with his hands so hard, that his plates shattered. Kamui immediately let his hold on Kagura drop, and he slowly slid to the ground. The world was starting to become blurry, the things around him weren't making sense, the only sounds he could make out were the fighting and his weakling sister being comforted by their idiot father.

BADUMP!

Kamui smirked, his blood was hot and his mouth was starting salivate, his natural instincts had finally awoken with the presence of other Yato.

"Easy Kagura, daddy's-" Umibzou stopped himself, and slowly turned around to the rising Kamui. Despite having both his arms shattered, his son looked utterly terrifying.

"P-Papi…Baka-niichan…"

"Yeah…his blood's awoken." Umibozu braced himself and hoped Kagura did the same. This wasn't good.

**Takechi Henpeita vs Shinpachi**

"Kagura-chan!" Shinpachi tried to run to her, but was blocked by his opponent as well.

"Don't worry…the lovely lady will be waiting in a beautiful coffin when you return to her." Henpeita said. He just hoped to touch the beautiful lady's skin first.

**Nobume vs. Vista**

Nobume clashed wit the Whitebeard swordsman carefully; she had to admit his style was interesting, but that was the only thing redeeming about this fight. She stopped abruptly, and turned to her lover, sensing a sudden shift in him. Her eyes widened, Kamui's Yato nature had been released.

"We may stop now, if you're worried. My other comrades could use my help." Vista offered, noticing her worry. Marco had his hands full with Kizaru, while Ace was going to join him after glassing Crocodile.

"It's not necessary." Nobume got back into position. "He needs to learn to take care of himself."

"Miss…it's not my business, but may I make a suggestion?" The rose man said carefully; she nodded. "Try to focus on the beauty, not the gore in your life."

**Isaburo vs. Hijikata**

"A shame, seems my email buddy has gone berserk." Isaburo gestured towards Kamui.

CLANG!

"Worry about your own damn fight, texting-bastard!" Hijikata yelled, clashing swords with him again.

"Honestly, you street commoners have no manners." Isaburo complained.

**Kondo vs. Momonga**

Kondo may not have had a lot of screen time with Hijikata and Sougo being more popular than him, but he was Captain of the Shinsengumi for a reason, and he was proving his place for this Vice Admiral.

"I understand you know those Odd-Jobs Hooligans?" Momonga huffed.

"Yep! They're good people, aren't they?" Kondo smiled.

CLANG!

"Honestly! Talking to outlaws, how unsightly! And your subordinates! Your Vice-Captain is going against your orders, and that First-Division Captain deliberately interfered with World Government matters! How could you let that behavior pass?!" Momonga hissed.

"Simple. Toshi isn't disobeying me in any way right now; we're fighting for our lives against this overthrow-attempt by the Mimiwarigaumi, and Toshi is simply choosing his fight. As for Sougo, there's no fighting a man in love, I would know personally. I would do anything for the woman I love back home, so I don't fault Sougo for what he did at all. Besides! It was him who tipped us off!" Kondo explained.

"You're too close to your subordinates!" He snarled at Kondo, who blocked it and banged the back of his sword into Momonga's.

CRACKLE!

The almost bald man stared stupidly at his shattered sword. "I'm a goofball of a superior who could easily be taken advantage of by his subordinates, but there's a reason why it hasn't happened before." Kondo pointed his sword at Momonga's neck. "We trust each other…that's all there is to it."

**New CP9 vs. old CP9 (Kalifa, Kakku, Jabra, Blueno, Kumadori, Fukuro, and Lucci)**

The members of the old Cipher Pole gang stared at their opponents in pity; they were simply children, there was no need to fight them, but it had to be done. Leaving their unconscious opponents, they turned to their leader who held a thoughtful expression on his face.

"What should we do now, Lucci?" Kalifa asked.

"Simple." He eyed the two Spandax up top on the execution platform; Hattori rested his shoulder peacefully. "We take our revenge."

**Sengoku vs. Garp**

Garp cracked his knuckles as Sengoku started glowing gold. "Come on old friend! Let's have a good ol' spar like we used to!"

"You betrayed the Navy once again Garp! I knew you'd help Red-Haired! I knew you'd come back to rescue your son!" Sengoku accused.

"Why did you even bother denying your true loyalty!" Sengoku demanded.

PUNCH!

The air blew as a golden hand caught the gargantuan fist. "I never denied who I was loyal to Sengoku, I just confused the terms 'loyalty' with 'duty'. Turns out…there's a huge difference."

**Review please! Till next time!**


	29. Objecting Fathers

**Hey guys! So I'm updating early again because I won't be able to update on Friday again, but fear not- I will have internet! I rushed this chapter a little because I really wanted to get to the next chapter, where it is essentially the climax- though some could argue this would be the climax as well. I'll leave it up to you guys next week. So read, enjoy, review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama or One Piece**

Spandam and Spandine stared in horror at the sight in front of them- their plan for complete reform and domination, was not only crumbling, but turning everything they worked for in the dust. Damn it all! All their work for nothing! THEY were the ones who contacted the Harusame when their agents happened to crash into Tenryubito territory, THEY were the ones who proposed the agreements, and THEY were the ones who coordinated all the connections and teamwork between the Mimiwarigumi, Harusame, and the Kihetai. Despite THEIR protesting of the Shisnengumi coming into the picture, proposed by that damned monocle-man, they still went ahead and brought the three commanding officers of the lesser police unit.

"DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!" Spandine got out his gun and took aim at Gintoki, who was too busy fighting Takasugi to notice him. "DAMN YOU ODD-JOBS! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"FATHER!"

**BANG!-CLANG!**

Both Spandax men froze at the sight in front of them. Kaku and Jabra had stopped the bullet, and was glaring straight at them. Backing up slowly, they stopped once they felt other familiar presences behind them- Kalifa, Blueno, Kumadori, and Fukuro.

"Guys! Long time no see!" Spandam exclaimed cheerfully, rubbing his hands together in an attempt to hide his fear. "I meant to find you guys after Enies Lobbey, but things happened, and we were separated by those damned Strawhat pirates, and I tried to stop everyone from blaming you, I did!"

"Indeed. Are all of you seriously going to say that you'll throw away whatever alliances or loyalties you have towards the World Government, over a simple misunderstanding?" Spandam backed up his son.

"You haven't changed, Spandam-san." Kalifa and Blueno cleared the path for Lucci as he walked through. He had a glare in his eye, and he seemed to be even more threatening with Hattori on his shoulder. "You and Spandine still leave a trail of slime behind you as you walk."

"L-Lucci! You look well!" Spandam stuttered. "H-How's it going?"

"Just starting a coup against the system you and your idiot father attempted to setup. By taking credit for setting up this network, you two would've been promoted tp almost Admiral level in authority, so you'd be able to control this multi-universe web. Are you two so power-hungry that you'd sacrifice an entire planet over?"

"Hey! Everything I did was for the good of the people!"

**PUNCH!**

Quicker than anyone could blink, Lucci punched Spandam and knocked him straight into his father. "Don't ever say you did anything for the people; everything you did was to gain recognition and favoritism from the World Government. Now thanks to your selfishness, this entire mess of a second war has broken out!"

"Even so! You can't do anything to stop it! The war's already started, with the end result being the annihilation of the Revolutionary Army and Pirate race! Those inferior beings will sink into the bottom of the sea where they belong!" Spandam shouted.

"That's just it, Spandam-san…we never cared about the Revolutionaries, Pirates, or these outsides that came to our world. They're on their own from this point, and have their goals set on other things." Kalifa pused her glasses up. "We only came here for one thing."

"We came to get our revenge, Spandam!" Fukuro exclaimed.

"Hey now!" Spandine shouted.

"You're not getting out unscathed either." Kaku spoke to the older man.

"Don't you get it, neither of you are leaving alive." Jabra and the rest of CP9 cracked their knuckles.

**Sengoku vs. Garp**

"Gahaha! Seems like things are well on their way, aren't they Sengoku?" Garp smiled at his frazzled friend. They had been fighting for several minutes, but despite Garp's discharge of military service, he still proved to be very formidable to the golden Buddha.

"Garp…why…why are you choosing to go against justice now? You were willing to toss your own grandson aside for the sake of our cause, yet now you choose this. Is it because Dragon's biological relation to you?" Sengoku asked.

"OF COURSE NOT! I'VE RAISED MY SONS ALL THE SAME!" Garp raised his fist. "Ace, Dragon, and Luffy are my grandsons are all the same, I just was confused at the time of Ace's execution. Duty was the thing that binded me to the Navy and World Government, and the motivation that kept me going. I had a purpose and a reason to fight; unlike my idiot grandsons, I didn't grow up with brothers or sisters, so I was just fighting for hell of it. The Navy gave me a rason and purpose to fight; it gave an old wrecking ball like me a job, so naturally I felt indebted to it."

"Garp…"

"Loyalty however…is when you have the urge to go against the purpose given to you, and protect the ones you'd even call your enemy. I didn't understand it at the time, but my grandsons and son didn't need the Navy or the World Government to provide them a place or a purpose in this world, so I tried to keep forcing it on them when they were little. But it backfired! They hate the very idea of the Navy!" Garp laughed.

"Garp…I remember when you first had Dragon…I don't think I've ever seen you so excited or happy about anything." Sengoku said. "You raised your son to be the perfect marine from when he could walk, to the point of mastering military strategy and World Government resource routes. You ironically created the world's greatest threats."

"I know! That's my son for yah!" Garp laughed, but frowned when he noticed his son and grandson run towards their troubled comrade. "Sengoku…what did you hope to accomplish in all this? Just what do you have against my family?"

"Garp, don't be ridiculous. You know that stems back into Sakazuki's family, but in any case…it just happened to be your family, it was just unfortunate that it was the case." Sengoku sighed. "This turned out to be a disaster, but I and the rest of the Navy officials agreed that this was a necessary development. When the Harusame were discovered, we saw an opportunity, Garp! Don't you see?! The opportunity to spread justice throughout existence!"

"Even if it means teaming up with pirates and terrorists?" Garp challenged.

"Necessary evils were needed, and esides…we were going to end the partnership once they were no longer needed." Sengoku explained.

"I see then, so you've become Doflamingo!" Garp smiled. "Don't worry Sengoku! I'll beat some sense into you!"

**PUNCH!**

Sengoku managed to catch Garp's punch in time, but it was messy. Garp had used all his force, and Sengoku was forced to use his underpowered arm to catch it. Growling, he let his flailing hand to rest and tried to return the favor with something else.

"SHOCK BLAST!" Sengoku shoved a palm against Garp. But the old man simply headbutt into his palm, and broke through the shock-wave without any problem. Sengoku's eyes widened in shock.

"Heh! I don't know what you were thinking Sengoku! A good marine never stops his training! He only gets stronger!"

**Takasugi vs. Gintoki**

The men ran past each other, clashing their swords at each other. Takasugi stood straighter and looked into the direction of the commotion. "Hn…seems as though Strawhat's about to go head to head with his tormentor."

"He's got his big boy pants, he doesn't need uncle Gintoki to hold his hand." Gintoki smirked and observed the scene in front of him as well. "Besides…this is father-son bonding that's long overdue; there's too many deadbeat dads in our world Takasugi; even in a different world, you see too many of them."

"Indeed. For once, I agree with you." Takasugi raised his sword above his head. "Let's continue this, Gintoki."

"Ah. Damn those meddlesome interruptions." Gintoki charged forward and brought his front foot forward, and thrusted his sword out aggressively.

Takasugi quickly blocked, but was sent a few feet back; he raise his blade above his head to block the incoming blow. When it didn't come, his eyes widened at the mistake, and suddenly felt a sudden pain in his stomach.

"One point for me."

**STAB!**

Gintoki's eyes widened and coughed up blood; his hands grabbed for the sword that was through his stomach. Takasugi smirked. "Two points for me."

**KICK!**

Both men privyed away from each other, and glared at each other; and in a blow of power, their strikes began again.

**Kawakami Bansai vs. Zoro**

Zoro snarled and slashed away at the strings blocking his path.

"Roronora-san, struggling only makes it worse." Bansai said, standing on the strings several feet above Zoro. He trapped the green samurai between two rock ledges, and was preventing him from getting to his beautiful crewmate. Bansai frowned. "Try to focus on your own fights, if you don't mind."

"Screw you! She's my nakama!" Zoro hissed wen he felt one of the steel strings cut through his flesh slightly. "Damn it! Get the fuck out of my way!"

"After we finished our fight; Akainu-sama does not intend to kill Nico-sama anytime soon, so please allow your captain and his father to handle it." Bansai answered, frowning at the careless mistakes the marimo was making. "I'd appreciate it if you took this fight more seriously."

"Seriously…you want serious?!" Zoro suddenly turned on him, and got into a crouching position. After a split second, he yelled- "SENRYUU CRUSH!"

Instantly, the strings were flattened, causing Bansai to lose his balance in surprise.

**KICK!**

The music man then felt a tremendous shove to his side, and found himself rolled up in his own music strings. Struggling to get up, he sighed at his mistake. "How careless of me." He noticed Zoro running towards Robin's direction. "Unfortunately for you Roronora-san…you assume carelessness in your current position is…"

**PULL!**

Zoro flopped to the ground at something jerking on his left foot; he was about to get up, but froze when he felt the familiar metal slice through his upper foot. Fuck. That bastard got his Achilles heel. He glowered back at Bansai, who had recovered and was walking towards him with his sword raised.

"Unfortunately, Roronora-san your tactics weren't good enough. I find myself disappointed at your skill level; announcing your attacks when they're publicly known isn't generally a wise idea." The musician raised his sword above his head. "Any last words."

"Yeah, you should try toy-making." Zoro turned over on his back suddenly, and spun his sword, collecting the strong from Bansai's sword and instrument. Before Bansai knew it, Zoro held the weapon with a victorious smirk, and held the item in place so the strings would keep their positions over Bansai's jugular.

"Well played Roronora-san." Bansai gave satisfied nod. "There's more to this fight yet."

**Aokiji vs Akainu (Robin is saved from Akainu by Aokiji, Luffy, and Dragon) **

"ROBIN!" Luffy and Dragon arrived at Aokiji's side. "BASTARD! LET ROBIN GO!"

"Strawhat…" Aokiji turned to acknowledge the D men. "You're timing couldn't be more inconvenient."

"Ice bastard! It's your fault that she's in that mess!" Luffy yelled.

While his son and former enemy fought with each other, he was staring into the eyes of his former brother-in-law. Looking between Robin and Akainu, Dragon spoke. "Sakazuki…be reasonable."

"You are to address me as Akainu; you lost that right when you brainwashed Lucinda." The red man threatened.

"EH?" Luffy and Aokiji turned their attention back to the situation.

"Fine, you're right." Dragon submitted. "And as a Navy Admiral, you have to agree that the methods you're using are most dishonorable, not to mention shameful. Would it not be better to show the strength of the Navy to the world by fighting fair?"

"And as the world will see, fighting fair is not an option in this situation." Akainu replied, and then he finally noticed it. These were all the people that had ruined his life or had tried to kill him over the years. "It's interesting that all of you are here like this."

"What do you mean?" Aokiji frowned.

"I mean that this is a hell of a place for a family reunion." Akainu smirked evilly.

Dragon and Aokiji's eyes widened at what he was getting at, while Luffy just tilted his head in confusion; Robin bore the same confusion her captain did. "Akainu-san…" Robin spoke. "What are you talking about?"

"Ah, that's right. You don't know anything about your father, do you?" The red man loved the way the ice man clenched his fists.

Robin frowned. "What does my father have to do with this? From what I was told, he died before I was born."

"Yes, that's what your mother asked everyone to tell you; the scholars merely enforced it. You weren't shunned on Ohara for just your brain, you were shunned for being the center of conspiracy. Your mother did something that put your whole island at risk, long before she discovered the World's history." The red admiral explained.

"Akainu, shut up." Aokiji stepped forward.

"Oh, it's not just your mother that has committed sin against the world, Nico-chan." The red man antagonized. "Dragon and Aokiji committed the same sin, in which you and Strawhat are the result of."

Robin's eyes widened. "You can't mean…"

"Eh? Robin, what's he talking about?" Of course Luffy didn't catch his drift.

"You need me to spell it for you, Strawhat? Fine then. Both you and Nico-chan's fathers are-"

**FREEZE!**

Akainu felt himself unable to talk, as he felt his tongue become frozen, and his body was becoming increasingly more difficult to heat. He was becoming stiffer, and even found himself shivering despite his devil fruit.

Noticing the sudden stillness in his body, Robin quickly used her hands to get out of his grasp and ran to the side of her comrades. "Robin!" Luffy smiled. "Are you okay?"

"Eh. I'm fine, but…what is happening to Akainu?" She had to suppress a shutter; despite being magma, she knew Akainu was freezing to death; not just that…very slowly. His skin was slowly turning paler and paler, the blood veins and arteries in his body could be seen and were turning into a purplish color, his tongue was solid ice, and his breath was becoming shorter. Slowly, she turned to the former ice admiral, shocked at what she saw. Despite being ice, Aokiji's eyes were blazing with hatred and unleashed wrath; white steam was emitting from his body, and had merged with the air. Apparently, the same air Akainu breathed in. Forming an ice partisan, he grabbed it and slowly walked forward.

"On your knees, Akainu." He forced the man down to kneeling position. "I don't like revealing this ability to my opponents; it makes the fight to easily. Many people don't know about this ability of mine, but…I can dissolve microscopic ice shards into the air, and once they are breathed in by opponent, I have the ability to end the fight whenever I want. Because Robin was in the way of your mouth, it took awhile, but once you opened your mouth, you allowed the shards to latch onto your red blood cells, and I merely activated them."

"And like a virus, they attacked his natural and devil fruit systems at once." Dragon was amazed, he had no idea logia abilities extended that far.

"Precisely." He put his partisan to Akainu's neck; he inwardly smirked at Akainu's flinch. "Don't get excited, I want to watch you slowly chill to death, and once your body's perfectly frozen, I'll slice off that miserable head of yours and destroy it. That way, I don't have to look at it anymore."

"Aokiji, you damned traitor!" Akainu hissed; frustrated at his mistake.

"Me? The traitor? I don't think so." Aokiji laughed. "You're the traitor Akainu. You drove my wife into hiding, you ruined my career, you tired to kill me several times after I resigned, but most importantly…you tried to hurt my daughter." Aokiji punched Akainu to the ground. "That alone, would get me to kill you a throusand times over."

"Daughter?" Luffy looked at Robin, who wore a shocked expression on her face. "He's your father…?"

"Eh, he is. And…Luffy…your mother was Akainu's sister." Dragon finally confessed, in utter shock at the ice admiral's ability. Just as Luffy was about to react, something completely unexpected happened.

**Kamui vs. Kagura and Umibozu**

Kagura and Umibozu landed several feet away from each other; Kamui in berserk Yato mode was no joke.

**BOOM! POW! KICK!**

The youngest Yato winced as she felt her ribs; she thought she was strong once she saw the damage she had done in Yoshiwara, but this…was beyond any combat level she had felt. Kamui had both his arms broken, but he still managed to own them with his teeth and legs. She looked to her papi, and knew he wasn't doing much better.

"GAH!" Kamui stepped down harshly on her side, intending to cause some internal bleeding. Kagura's vision was going bleak; she didn't stand a chance before facing Kamui in normal mode, let alone monster mode.

BOOM! Umibozu managed to kick Kamui off, but it took a lot of his energy; he knew how to access his Yato blood, but it wasn't safe when another Yato was in that mode. They'd destroy the whole planet. Seeing as his son was about to charge, he did the only thing he could do- he put his body over Kagura.

"Papi…" Kagura clutched his shirt; genuinely scared.

"It's okay…let Papi do this one thing for you." He whispered; he'd be a father and protect her this once, damn it!

**Sougo and Nobume**

Both fighters dropped their fights and ran to a different destination.

**BBBBAM!**

Just as Kamui was about to deliver the finishing blow, Nobume appeared and uppercut her sword through his foot and into his stomach. She pinned him down with all her strength, and despite the awkward position he was in, she still found it difficult. Leaning forward, she bit her lip and put her mouth on Kamui; instantly, his movements stilled. She pulled her sword out from his foot and chest, and looked at him.

"Nobu-chan...?" Kamui asked, dazed. After looking at himself and the surroundings, he put two an two together. "You saw it huh? What'd you think?"

"I've seen scarier." She shrugged, and gestured back to his opponents. Okita and Umibzou were attempting to stabilize Kagura,while the girl had lost consciousness. Kamui didn't miss the look of desperation in his little sister's lover.

Standing up on a limp, Kamui looked to see Abuto who looked bloody and beat-up, but at least he still had his dignity intact. Sighing, Kamui leaned into Nobume and allowed her to lead him back to safety. "We're done here, I guess. No point in fighting like this."

"Understood, though…I don't think these marines and World Government agents like the idea of it." Abuto frowned.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!" Umibzou yelled, trying to get through the sea of uniforms, trying to get to Whitebeard's ship; Kagura needed a doctor. Sougo wasn't even bother warning people; he was just slashing whatever came into his way; pirates and marines both were falling to the panicked samurai.

Kagura felt herself losing consciousness, until-

**CRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAASSS SSSSSH!**

Everyone ceased their actions and fighting to see what that loud explosion was. Sengoku thought he was going to have an aneurism- there…in the center of the main Marineford tower…was a giant red spaceship. It had crashed apparently.

**With Whitebeard**

The old man stared in mild interest in what was happening, he could only wonder what else would make this show more crazy, but that was when he noticed the two samurai. Gitnoki and Takasugi looked like they had seen a ghost and wanted to beat the shit out of it. And the old man would find that they would find they had good reason for this malicious feeling.

**Spaceship Arrival**

The spaceship opened, and CRASH! A small group of people were shot from the rocket entry way like a cannon, and the occupants soon introduced themselves.

"AAAAAAAH! KINTOKI! HOW'S IT GOING?" Leave it to Sakamoto to crash a ship into the middle of the battleground. And as he was flying; Takasugi grabbed a rocket launched and fired a missile at him, and luckily hit. "YAY! BARBEQUE! WANT SOME MUTSU-SAN?"

"Sir, you're afro's on fire." She sighed; falling into a battlefield was normal for them.

"OUT OF WAY!" If everyone was seeing right, a white giant puppy dog came flying down, with another swords man…and a guy in duck costume? "COME ELIZABETH! SADAHRAU-DONO! LET US SHOW THIS WORLD THE NEW ERA OF JAPAN!"

"ZURA! YOU IDIOT!" Gintoki shouted at them. "WHY ARE YOU HERE?! WHAT'S WITH THE MUTT?! SAKAMOTO! I'LL KILL YOU!"

"IT'S NOT ZURA! IT'S KATSURA!" His comrade yelled, knocking marines down as Sadaharu ran towards Kagura.

"That reminds me, Katsura-san said you'd cover the ticket cost." Mutsu said to Gintoki.

"SCREW HIM!" Gintoki shouted. Takasugi could only sigh; so much for their final showdown.

**Review please! Sorry if Sakamoto's intro. was rushed, was kind of jumpy when I wrote this.**


	30. Hedge mazes are a headache

**Hey guys! So I know this is a bit sudden, but after this- it's the final chapter. I'm sorry if the climax seemed rushed or short-lived but after this, the next chapter's going to be the story's conclusion. But hey, when one door closes, another one opens. So please enjoy this!** **Again, not the final chapter, just next to last chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama**

In no time, the white dog went to his master; it stopped at her body, causing Katsura to be thrown off him. Okita glared heavily at the man on the ground; resisting the urge to draw his sword, he simply decided to hand Kagura to Elizabeth. "Oi doggy; take China to the biggest ship over there and get her doctor. Do it, or I'll sell you to a Chinese meat plant." The dog merely growled; Sougo ignored this and turned to Umibozu. "Hey baldy, you going with her?"

"No; I'm too pissed off to rest. The same with you, isn't it?" Umbozu smirked at all the eager marines that were ready to die.

"Of course." Sougo still wanted to kill that Abuto-bastard. "Shoo doggy; take care not to drop my China."

By the time Katsura came too, he called. "ELIZABETH! WATCH LEADER!" He turned to Sougo, who refused to face him. "Rest assured, Okita-dono…Leader will be perfectly safe with Elizabeth."

"Katsura…shut up and fight." That was all that was needed to be said.

**Gintoki vs. Takasugi**

"What do you think, Takasugi? You still want to do this?" Gintoki sighed, sheathing his sword.

"You know that Sakamoto's the ultimate buzzkill for battle." Takasugi sheathed his sword, and started walking away. "Until next time, Gintoki. Oh…I'd check on that Yato-girl if I were you. Seems as though Kamui got too excited."

Gintoki's eyes widened as they fell on Sadaharu; he watched the unconscious figure as the dog carried it through the battles. He blasted off to that direction without hesitation. "KAGURA!"

**Bansai vs. Zoro**

Both swordsmen were bloody and panting, but one of them suddenly stopped. Banasi stood up straightly, and rewound his string.

"Oi! Why are you stropping?!" Zoro demanded. "This fight isn't over!"

"Rather than go through the process of this fight, I'm afraid I must disappoint you with a forfeit, Roronora-san. My boss has decided to call it quits, and I have no choice but to follow. Thank you for the fight." Bansai nodded and jumped away.

"OI! COME BACK HERE! ADMIT DEFEAT PROPERLY!" Zoro shouted at him.

**Nami vs. Matako**

"Shinsuke-sama!" The blonde put her guns away, and walked after her master.

"OI!" Nami yelled at her. "We have a fight to finish!"

"Get a life, tangerine!" Matako barked.

"WHAT?!"

**Shinpachi vs. Henpeita**

"Oh, it seems that the master has decided to end the fight." The plain man sheathed his sword. "Until another day, Shinpachi-san."

The glasses-boy didn't say anything and simply let the man go. The conflict was over, that was all that mattered. But that was when he noticed Sadaharu barreling towards him, the dog head-butt him onto his back, and he finally noticed the state the Yato girl was in.

"KAGURA-CHAN!"

**Isaburo vs. Hijikata**

"Oh, it seems as though this transaction has been cancelled. We'll be on our way then." Isaburo sheathed his sword and headed to follow Takasugi.

"What about your subordinate?" Hijikata asked.

"She's a big girl with a boyfriend, she can find her own way back." Isaburo shrugged.

**Kondo vs. Momonga**

Kondo clashed his sword, and twisted his wrist, disarming Momonga's weapon.

Momonga froze at the sword at his throat; he looked at his opponent in the eye. "Well…what are you waiting for?"

"The fight is over, and Sougo needs help." Kondo turned around and started walking away. "There's no need to kill you."

"A man who isn't smart enough to kill his opponent before a battle, is the stupidest on the field. You have to act quick and have no mercy!" Momonga exclaimed.

"Like what happened to all the civilians right?" Kondo stopped him. "You persecuted and killed first, and asked question. What happened here was no different than the Kansai purge."

"Yes…I was told of that massacre…what of it?" Momonga glared.

"Maybe, if we had stopped killing each other and had bothered trying to talk it out, so many of us wouldn't have died. Becoming the servants of the Bakufu wasn't a perfect solution, but it gave us our swords and a reason to fight. It was good enough for all of us." Kondo smiled. "Later! Fellow Gorilla!"

**Chopper, Ussop, &Franky vs. Moriah**

Moriah was already down for the count, they were simply fighting through the enedless supply marines, trying to reach their crewmates.

**Sanji &Brook vs. Donflamingo**

Sanji huffed, and glanced at his teammate; Brook had taken a hell of a lot of hits for him, and he wasn't sure how much more the skeleton could take. "Brook…how you holding up?"

"Yohoho! I'm perfectly fine! Takes a lot to shake this bag of bones!" Brook cheered.

"Enough with the bad jokes!" Sanji shouted. He blinked when he realized that Donflamingo hadn't done anything since the ship crashed into the building. "OI! What are you doing?!"

"Hn. Don't worry about it; this fights' over." Donfalmingo shrugged and started back towards the structure.

"EH?! What do you mean the fight's over?! Explain yourself!" Sanji demanded.

"Isn't it obvious? Everything's grinding to a fault now; that Sakamoto-guy ain't the only one on that ship."

**Marco & Ace vs. Kizaru**

Since Ace made a glass sculpture out of his opponent; he joined Marco, and now both men were fighting against Kizaru.

"Quite a pain…"

"DAMN BASTARD!" Ace flared fire at him. "Even after two years, your face still pisses me off!"

Marco couldn't argue.

**Sengoku vs Garp**

"It's over isn't it?" Sengoku sighed; he laid in a pile of rubble in forced submission.

"Ah, it is." Sengoku looked up at the spaceship, already sensing the familiar haki.

"Then, I have one request for you- stop Aokiji from killing Akainu. I don't want him to take my place as Fleet Admiral with that hanging over him." Sengoku breathed.

"Yes…I agree." Garp sighed. "Don't worry old friend, I'll do that."

"Also, Garp…" He turned to the Buddha. "Even though I have to hunt for this child and his parents…do tell Red-Haired I said congratulations. I envy his opportunity to be a father."

**Luffy, Dragon, Aokiji, Robin, vs. General Marines**

Morbid chaos was the only the way to describe the scene; the marines and pirates were fighting like dogs, and the tension wasn't helping anything. Luffy and Robin stared at Dragon and Aokiji in complete shock. Slowly, the rubber boy turned to Akainu, looking to confirm suspicions.

"He's my…uncle?" Luffy's voice caught in his throat. "How…? Why…?"

"Why did you say that, Aokiji?" Dragon glowered.

"It was going to come out here eventually anyways." Aokiji sighed and turned to Robin. "I also have confessing to do with you as well, so I thought it might be poetic this way."

"Hell of a sonnet." Dragon replied sardonically. "But yes…Sakazuki Lucinda was the name of your mother. We met at a Fishman activist rally, and we worked together for mutual interest; even back then, we fought against the oppression of the World Government. Both were apart of a noble family that was cozy wit the Tenryuubito, but once Lucinda was found collaborating with me, their family was disgraced, and Akainu was enraged. He hated pirates from the beginning, but once she started being with me…the hatred turned into flat-out loathing and contempt. He began hunting and killing people even uttering the word. He was personally recruited by the World Government for his cruelty."

"Jinbe told me, mom died from childbirth. Is that true?" Luffy asked.

"Ah. Unfortunately, there were complications in your birth, and Lucinda couldn't handle it." Dragon admitted it.

"Why didn't you raise me? What happened to you? Why'd you leave me with Gramps?" Luffy questioned.

"I couldn't handle it. After Lucinda died, and the Revolutionary movement came into full swing, I- I chickened out; I asked father to raise you, and he openly accepted it." Dragon sighed. "I knew you'd have a good life with him, and he had already adopted Ace; you grew up to be a fine man."

"Yeah, too bad you weren't around to see it." Luffy glared, and turned to Akainu. "As for you…you knew who I was the second you saw me; you knew I was your nephew."

Akainu didn't say anything on the matter, for his tounge and throat were currently frozen. But he silently lipped his final word on the matter. "…Twas your fault…"

"I see, so you did know."

**POW!**

Luffy sent a harsh kick to Akainu's stomach, and turned away. "You're worse than scum."

Robin put a hand on his shoulder. "Captain…"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!" Everyone turned to Zoro shouting at them. "Clear a way! The Yato girl needs to get a doctor!"

"What?!" Luffy shouted. "Let's go!"

"Captain?" Robin was surprised at his mood change.

"We can worry about the small details later Robin!" Luffy shouted and ran forward. "COME ON! WE'VE GOT TO HELP!"

Glancing briefly at Aokiji, she frowned and turned back to Luffy. "Eh, you're right."

Dragon and Aokiji rolled up their sleeves as well; Dragon looked at the bushy-haired man in surprise. "You're fighting too? But you'd be going against your fellow marines."

"And they're going against my daughter, you're point?" Aokiji responded.

Nodding, Dragon started to the battlefield, following his son. "Good enough for me." He noted that the Shinsengumi officers had joined the fight, and that Odd-Jobs was trying to take refuge on Whitebeard's ship. There was now a new samurai with long hair fighting too.

"Aokiji!" He turned to his daughter, who bore a fierce look. "We will talk about this later."

**Whitebeard's Ship**

"So…you two must be members of the mysterious Odd-Jobs pirates. The strange start-up group who popped up out of nowhere on the East Blue; care to tell us what's going on exactly?" Whitebeard looked down at the two men and dog, who all bore very worried expressions. Shinpachi and Sadaharu were pretty open about it, but Gintoki kept his usual poker-dead-fish-eye-face, but with the way he was staring at the door with the red cross, you could tell he was worried. Kagura was being operated on right now, and it was serious enough to where they took her in for surgery.

"Oi! He asked you a question!" Izo yelled. While the pirates more than welcomed the idea of treating the young girl, they still didn't like strange pirates aboard the ship. Or at least people they didn't know around their captain.

"There's not much to say; what you've heard form Izo-san and Haruta-san have summarized our situation quite nicely. We apologize for you having to face Kagura-chan's brother, but…as you can tell, he has no sympathy or feels no connection to his family." Shinpachi explained.

"I see…so you guys simply got dragged into this as well." Whitebeard nodded. "Well…Ace, Garp, and Redhaired told me most of the story, but there is one issue I'd like you to clear up: if you're not pirates, what do you want with One Piece?"

"What? You mean you weren't told, Whitebeard-san?" Shinpachi asked; then again, Whitebeard nor his commanders were there when the confusion about the diamond and th treasure were revealed. "Well, in any case…we came this planet looking for the 'Pirate's Eye Diamond', but we were confused when people kept bringing up One Piece. We meant that we were looking for a one-piece treasure, not One Piece itself."

"I can see where that'd get confusing." Whitebeard nodded. "I actually happen to know where and what the diamond is, though you may be surprised at what you hear."

"Really?" Shinpachi asked anxiously. "What?"

"Supposedly, that diamond fell from the first king of Skypia a little over eight hundred years ago, and fell onto a place known as 'Lost Island', legend has it the last remaining dragons on this planet live there. Though you won't have any competition for it; many consider that diamond to be cursed." Whitebeard explained.

"Yeah…we heard." Gtinoki spoke up. "Supposedly it brings disaster to all those who posses it, right? And this damned gem put Kagura at risk. Hey, I don't mean to sound condescending, but…will my idiot daughter be okay?"

"Ah. The medics here are damned good at what they do, and my best nurses are attending to her as we speak." The old pirate confirmed. "So are any of those people coming back? What about that Takasugi-character?"

"Not likely; Takasugi never terrorizes the same place twice; though I can't make any promises about Sakamoto. Once his business associate sniffs out a market, there's no stopping her." Gintoki replied. "It's hard to believe Katsura showed up; damned Sakamoto owes me an explanation."

"Well…" Whitebeard looked at ship and stiffened up completely. "Soon…everyone will have to plead their case."

**The Spaceship**

Finally…after fifteen minutes of anticipation, the man every marine and old pirate recognized, finally showed his face.

STOMP!

Everyone froze in their fighting, and turned to look at the ship's entrance; out came a man almost as tall as Sengoku, heavily muscled and had many scars. He strangely resembled a lizard and had a spiked Mohawk.

"C-Commander in Chief Kong!" Sengoku gasped.

"Yes…you all have much explaining to do." He looked around himself and found what he was looking for: the Den Den Mushi Sengoku had been using. After taking a few deep breaths, he spoke in the snail.

"_SHUT UP!" _ Everyone stopped their movements and turned their heads to the man ontop of the execution platform. _"Now that's better. To my understanding a bunch of deals went on behind my back, and while I approved of the Martial Law against the islands suspected of hoarding pirates…I did not permit making deals with people from other universes. So as of now, whatever alliances or agreements that the Navy and World Government have made with the Harusame Space Pirates, the Kihetai, the Shinsengumi, and the Mimiwarigumi are hereby terminated and are banished from this universe._

_ Furthermore, until further notice, the martial law from each island is lifted until this incident is resolved. The Odd-Jobs group are now cleared of any wrong-doings or suspected acts of piracy stody. Lastly,everyone here: marine, pirate, or alien alike, is to put down their weapons and step away from each other. Every pirate and revolutionary is pardoned for their participation today, and are now being asked to leave. This does not include the Shichibukai. As for the alien-groups mentioned, you must depart immediately from this universe, or be executed on the spot. All Navy Admirals, Vice Admirals, and Cipher Pole 9 agents (current and former) are to meet me in the office. All lower-ranked marines, please be on standby until you are given further instruction._

_ As to address the world's concern about who won this fight, that's simple: there was no winner here. It was a long big heep of crapshoot that never should've happened; the time to decide the world's fate will come one day, but I don't see it happening right now. So instead of worrying about whose a pirate and whose a marine, let's just step back and take breather. That is all. Everyone dismissed!_

**Down on the Battlefied**

Robin looked at her 'father' as he walked towards the direction of his commander. "Aokiji." He turned to her. "Become Fleet Admiral this time."

"Ah." He smiled and continued on.

"Robin." Luffy placed a hand on her shoulder; she nodded and ran towards their awaiting crewmembers. She frowned, when she noticed Dragon going back to the Revolutionary troops. "Captain…are you sure you're okay with simply letting him go?"

Turning to what she was talking about, Luffy nodded. "I'm mad at him sure, but…I've found out all I've wanted to find out about my family, and well…I'm fine with it. It is what it is Robin, you can't change it." Robin nodded at the logic. "So for now, I'm okay with things the way they are between me and him; we achieve our dreams this way, and we'll have better stories to talk about when we meet again!"

"That's true." Robin nodded.

"What about you and that ice-bastard? You okay?" Luffy said with concern.

Placing a hand over her heart, she nodded. "I will probably talk with him about this later on, but for now…I simply wish to reunite with my crew."

"YATTA!" Luffy cheered.

"Luffy! Robin! Hurry up!" Zoro yelled. "Chopper needs to get Whitebeard's ship, that China-girl's in pretty bad shape!"

"You're telling me, Sougo's already heading there with baldy." Hijikata sighed, smoking. He suddenly locked eyes with Zoro. "We should fight while we wait."

"Agreed." Zoro nodded.

"Will you guys save that for another time?!" Ussop demanded.

"He's right." Nami eyed the two Shinsengumi members suspiciously. "So you're on our side then?"

"We were never on your opposing side to begin with miss; Sougo was on your team, so so are we." Kondo smiled. "I'm Kondo Isao by the way, and this is Hijikata Toshiro; we friends and comrades of Okita Sougo."

"Yeah…we've met." Franky groaned thinking of the kid's antics. "So we head to the Whitebeard ship, right?"

"That's the plan." Robin nodded.

"OI! LUFFY!" Ace shouted, waving his arm. "There are some friends here that want to see you and Odd-Jobs! They say it's important."

"Huh?" Luffy blinked.

His crew gave a loud groan, while Brook laughed. "Wonder what it is this time? Yohoho!"

**10min Later- Whitebeard's ship**

Gintoki, Shinpachi, the Shinsegumi members, and the Strawhat pirates stared at the little girl and beautiful princess before them. Vivi sent them a dazzling smile before pushing Apis forward. "Go on Apis-chama, tell them."

"Hello…" She stepped forward; she held out her cuffed hands; something sparkly shown through the cracks of her skin, slowly she opened her hand to reveal a very large, clear, and colorful jaw-dropping gemstone of April. "I heard you guys were looking for the Pirate's Eye Diamond?"

**Review please! Sorry if it's sudden!**


	31. Honeymoon Blues

**Hey guys! Final chapter of this story and I hope you enjoy it! Read, enjoy, review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama  
**

Sougo was staring blankly at the medical ward entrance; he had wanted to cut through every single person who stopped him from entering, but his superiors forbade it; Kondo and Hijikata were leaning against the railing behind him, monitoring his movements. They were enjoying their break from the long line of chaos they had to endure from the war. But Okita knew they were ready to stop him if needed; he honestly wasn't sure how much longer he could stand it. China was being operated, and he had no idea what the condition of hers would be until further notice.

"Sougo. You should get your own injuries checked; you fought that Abuto-guy, didn't you?" Hijikata pointed out.

"Unlike you Hijikata, I'm not weak enough to need a break after a simple fight." The younger responded, his hands clenched; that bastard got away. "I just wish these moronic pirates would wise up and let me see, China. Otherwise they're going to witness the wrath of a Sadist-prince."

"Ah. Oi, baldy! How bad were the little girl's injuries?" Hijikata asked Umibozu, who sat several feet away from them, probably worried as much as Sougo.

"…I'm not sure, Kamui's strikes were pretty bad, and Kagura took a direct hit to the ribcage; internal bleeding is a high possibility." Umibozu explained.

"Hmph." Okita snorted. "Once again, the reliable father fails in his duty."

"Sougo…" Kondo frowned.

"LISTEN PUNK!" Umibozu waltzed up to him and grabbed his shirt. "I TRIED TO PROTECT MY DAUGHTER! BUT AS YOU HEARD, US YATO HAVE BERSERK BUTTONS, AND KAMUI GOT THE BEST OF BOTH OF US!"

"THEN YOU SHOULD'VE LEFT HER SOMEWHERE AND FOUGHT HIM!" Sougo shouted. He forced the man's grip away and turned his back to him. "Because you made the virtuous admission of being a dead-beat father, I trusted you to protect China. But you couldn't even make it as her backup, I don't know what I was thinking."

"Sougo!" Hijikata tried to stop him.

"Shut up! Hijikata-san! You have no say in this matter as far as I'm concerned. You're actually not much different than he is actually. Isn't it amazing? The two people who hurt the most important people in my life are both here in this room. Hijikata-san, you'll have a grave-mate it looks like." Sougo sneered.

"Excuse me." The door to the medical ward finally opened. "The patient is ready to see visitors now-" The man didn't even get to finish his sentence as Sougo zoomed past him.

"I apologize about him…that's his girlfriend in there, and he's mighty worried." Kondo explained to the pirate-medic, who still had bloody surgery gloves.

"I see." He stopped Umibozu from going in. "Sorry sir, only one visitor at a time. The patient is still in and out of unconsciousness, and she's still unclear as to what happened."

"Oh. So doc…how bad is she? Will she be okay?" He asked, trying to control his voice.

"Well, I'm not going to lie, it was a pretty complicated surgery, but she'll definitely be fine. She was suffering from internal bleeding, but luckily the cracked ribs missed her lungs, so she didn't puncture anything. But breathing will be difficult for her for awhile, so I recommend she doesn't do any strenuous activities for about two months." The doctor advised. "This means no exercising, training, heavy lifting, and heavy advanced sexual activity; so please forward this message to the young lad."

"We'll do." Hijikata puffed.

"Good. Oh, and no smoking in the medical ward." The doctor advised and walked away. "I'll come back in an hour to check on her, you can go in and observe her through the window, but again- only one person in her room at a time."

"Thank you." Hijikata put out his cigarette, and went in, only to notice neither Kondo and Umibozu weren't following. "Aren't you guys coming?"

"Ah, I have to go join Odd-Jobs and Katsura-san; I want to find out about this diamond too. Anyways, we're going back with Sakamoto as soon as Kagura can move, so see you in a bit Toshi, Umibozu-san." Kondo waved.

Hijikata looked at the baldy, and sighed at the implied order of his commander. "Oi." He patted the man's shoulder, and he turned to him. "Let's go see them."

"Yeah." They walked until they were in the hospital ward, and saw Kagura through the window. She was sleeping soundly, her hair was undone, IVs were in her, and was changed into a white gown. Sougo was sitting beside her, watching her intently, probably making sure she didn't stop breathing. Hijikata had to hold in his vomit; this scene greatly reminded him of Mitsuba, he knew exactly why Sougo was so upset. "He really loves her, doesn't he?" Umibozu asked in a defeated voice.

"Ah. Those two have been together for over a year now; I've never seen Sougo as happy as he is with her. Even before they formed this disturbing relationship, Sougo was still a lot more easy-going around her; he…actually started enjoying himself again. Your daughter's done a lot for him, yah know?" Hijikata answered. "You should go see her next."

"No, he's right…I failed to protect her." Umibozu replied.

"Listen…it was a tough fight, and it was hard on everyone, don't let Sougo's irrationality get to you. When it comes to your daughter, he gets a little crazy." The younger reassured.

"It's not just that fight, which also reminded me of being a failure to my son as well. But it's the fact that I was never there for her as a child, I tried to force my way into her life, and when it truly counts I'm not there. And I found at from my daughter's boyfriend that she's in love, how her mother died, and my son finally told me he found someone because it just happened to come up." Umibozu sighed.

"Baldy-san…can I make a suggestion?" Hijkata interrupted. "Instead of dwelling in the past and running away from the present, move forward and try to form a relationship with her. You're probably worried about your enemies finding out about her and crap, but here's the thing- she has a psychotic brother and every other enemy that the damn permhead has faced that want to kill her. There's no point in keeping your distance…trust me, I know."

"What do you mean?"

"When Sougo said we had something in common, he was talking about his sister. You see, his sister fell in love with me and even though I felt the same way, I rejected her. I pushed her away and made her cry, and even tried to make her hate me for the same reason you did with your family. All it did was cause one of my oldest and closest friends to hate my guts, and she ended up being used at the time of her death." Seeing his confusion, Hijikata elaborated. "She was very sick at the time, and Sougo desperately wanted her to experience some kind of happiness before she died, which happened to be marriage- unfortunately, that guy ended up being slime…and it was bad."

"What does his sister have to do with this?" Umibozu didn't get it.

"Because you pushed Kagura away for the same reason I did, and like Mitsuba, Kagura's extremly important to him. Important enough to kill and die over; she's probably the only thing Sougo has left, other than his sword and his place at the Shinsengumi. So scratch that, she's the only one left he truly cares for." Hijikata confessed.

"I see." Umibozu smiled when Kagura blinked her eyes open; the boy immediately took her hand and started moving his mouth, most likely scolding her. "I guess I can try that."

**On Deck with Whitebeard, Ace, Appis, Marco, Vivi, Gran Hall, Gintoki, Sakamoto, Mutsu, Sadaharu, and Shinpachi**

"I don't believe this…all this time we were looking for that damned diamond, it was back in that damned desert the whole time." Gintoki muttered, staring at the gem in astonishment. "Oi, little girl, this is real right? You're not trying to fool the nice man in front of you, right?"

"No…it's the real diamond, sir." Apis laughed nervously. "Oh! It's nice to see you guys again!" Obviously addressing the Strawhat Crew.

"Apis-chan!" Ussop cheered.

"Apis-chan! You've grown!" Nami hugged her.

"Have you learned any new dishes?" Sanji asked.

"Good to see yah." Zoro said casually.

"Uh guys…who is this girl?" Franky asked. He, Chopper, Robin, and Brook had not met her previously.

"Oh she's from-" Luffy was cut off.

"Would you guys catch up later?!" Shinapchi exclaimed. "We need to hear about the diamond! Gran Hall-sama, did you have the diamond the whole time?!"

"Of course not! It was on Lost Island with Apis-chan, here!" Gran Hall explained. "I just happened to remember it by the time you left, on the scooter you STOLE from me."

"You stole an old man's scooter?" Ace frowned.

"It was emergency accommodation!" Gintoki exclaimed. "So explain yourself about the diamond!"

"Yes well!" Gran Hall cleared his throat. "Originally, the diamond was forged on Skypia, but after it rose up form Jaya, it supposedly was given to the first ancestors of Apis-chan here. You see, the dragons were originally apart of the sky islands, but the major rift between the islands made it impossible for the dragons to live there, so they were forced to migrate. But as a truce between the humans and dragons, this diamond was forged and it was entrusted to the humans. Should the humans betray or misuse the trust of the dragons in any way, this diamond would forever curse them."

"If this diamond is so important to your heritage, why you giving it to them, kid?" Marco spoke up.

"Well…let's just say her ancestors didn't keep to the contract." Vivi said lightly.

Silence occurred between all the aliens, until Gintoki finally broke it. "So what you're saying is…this diamond is cursed."

"Don't worry! You guys are from a different universe, so it probably doesn't affect you the same way, right?" Apis asked hopefully. "Please take it! My ancestors tried to sell the diamond to some merchants, but then the diamond came right back to them and horrible things have started happening to us and the dragons ever since! Eventually we were able to hide it somewhere or seal it somehow, but ever since you came looking for it, the bad luck started again!"

"Like what?" Mutsu spoke up.

"Well, all of our food got washed away, and the dragons have been super cranky lately!" Apis explained. "Anyways, Gran Hall-sama told us you were looking for this, so take it!"

"Hey." Whitebeard spoke up. "How'd you hear about the diamond anyways?"

"Oh, funny story kind- we were hired to retrieve the diamond by a couple of idiots from our home universe, whom we're never taking jobs from again. Right Shinpachi-kun?" Gintoki answered.

"That's correct Whitebeard-san, Gin-san and I are simply random victims." Shinpachi added.

"Wait, doesn't that mean that the diamond was known beyond this universe?" Robin pointed out.

"Eh. The clients told us it actually belonged to Kagura-chan's family originally, but it was lost several hundred years ago, which fits the time frame of your story actually. It most likely fell into Skypia's land when it crashed here." Shinpachi answered.

"Ah. And oddly enough, whichever unlikely Yato had to babysit that thing, ended up in disasters or dead as well. So it's probably best we take it from you." Gitnoki went to reach for it.

"Hold on! Apis-chan's our friend, so we call first dibs on the diamond!" Nami protested.

"Like hell!" Gintoki, Shinpachi, Chopper, Ussop, and Franky all said at once.

"Lady! We traveled for over a million light years and went through hell while war was being restarted to find this stupid thing, there's no way I'm giving it up!" Gintoki shouted.

"Besides, that thing's cursed!" Franky added.

"Yeah cursed!" Chopper shouted.

"Nami, you already have lots of treasure, so you don't need the diamond, right?" Ussop reasoned.

"I still want it." Nami huffed.

"Forget it, the diamond's ours." Shinpachi stated bluntly. "We travels all over the ocean and a horrendous obstacle course of islands to find it, and even got mistaken for wanted criminals. We're keeping the diamond."

"Yes, you did travel all over the Grand Line, putting all of our home islands into chaos as you did that." Ace glared. "Ah well, all's well that ends well, I suppose."

"Easy for you to say, you don't have to fly home with that." Gintoki gestured to Sakamoto, who was drunk off his ass.

"To make things worse, he's our pilot." Mutsu sighed, but noticed the Shinsengumi commander was approaching the crowd. "Oh Kondo-san, how long's it gonna be until the girl's ready to go?"

"They said about a week, and we're good to go! But they told me she should be off jobs for two months, so it'll be tough on your guys for awhile." He said to the Odd-Jobs men, patting their shoulders. "But don't worry! I'd be happy to fill-in for Kagura-chan!"

Shinpachi broke the man's hand. "Stupid Gorilla-stalker."

"Don't worry, everything will work out fine!" Kondo ignored his broken hand, and then noticed something. "Hey, where's Katsura-san?"

**The Revolutionary Ship**

"And that is why we must look forward to the dawn of a New Japan." Katsura finished preaching whatever he was saying during the explanation.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!" The Revolutionaries shouted.

"And what the hell island is named 'Japan'?" Dragon added.

**The Navy Public Assembly**

Kong looked between his two active admirals, his retired admiral, his best Vice Admiral Garp, and his Fleet Admiral Sengoku. After getting a full confession as to what happened, he knew that there was only one thing that could be done. And considering that Spandam and Spandine's actions came into light, and that Aokiji beat Akainu fairly, it was only right that corrections were made.

Turning to the crowd, he began. "_My loyal marines, you have fought well in this battle and I thank you for your courage. But there are changes that I am going to announce right now that will go into a affect immediately. First and foremost, the Marital law is banned; the tighter control has only lead to more dissension and rebellion, so therefore, it would be illogical to keep it active. Secondly, Spandine and Spandam are hereby dismissed of their duties for conspiracy and international espionage-piracy, and will be placed in Impel Down promptly. Rob Lucci and the rest of the former Cipher Pole 9 unit is welcome to rejoin the Wrodl Government; the new trainees could use leaders like you. Rest assured, that their punishments will be completely left to your transgressions. Lastly…after careful consideration, I have decided to name the succeeding Fleet Admiral myself- Aokiji, congratulations, you earned it." _

Kong let the marines clap, and hesitantly, Sengoku spoke. "Sir, what about the Odd-Jobs people?"

_"They are to betaken off the wanted roster immediately; upon learning that they were merely after the Pirate's-Eye Diamond, I had determined them to not be a threat. Therefore, they shall be allowed to leave without incident." _Kong sighed and finished up. _"The Admirals, Fleet Admiral, and Vice Admirals and I will be making an addendum for new policies and rules for the Navy to follow. It will be announced tomorrow; until then get some rest and congratulate yourself on a job well done."_

After the clapping, the crowd started to disperse, leaving Kong to his thoughts. He turned when he felt Garp's hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry old firend! It'll be fine!"

"I suppose." Kong had his doubts though; it'd be a while before the world trusted them again. "I guess we can only move forward."

"Indeed." Senogku nodded, he looked to Akainu who hadn't said a word.

"Kong-san, if you lessen Absolute Justice at all, I'm afraid I'll have to step down as an admiral." Akainu warned.

"Funny, considering what I've heard of your actions, I might just ask you to do that." He replied, causing Akainu to glare. "Your kind of justice is just 'Abusive Justice', it's not even about being thorough or not. You simply are always looking to blame someone."

"By the way sir." Kizaru interrupted. "What were you doing on that spaceship?"

"That's the funny thing. This stupid Sakamoto-moron crashed into the Tenryubutio palace where I was stationed, and he came out looking for some guy named 'Kintoki'. Apparently, he got the coordinates wrong, and had actually been looking for Marineford the whole time. His assistant Mutsu-san, was pretty quick to explain luckily." Kong answered. "Which you guys will elaborate on, Kizaru, don't bother getting out of this, it's not going to work."

"Oh boy." Kizaru scratched his head.

"And Garp." He turned to the Vice Admiral. "There's nothing that can be done to make up for the past against your family, but if you'd consider becoming a marine again, an Admiral to be exact, would you do it?"

"We'll see!" Garp laughed.

**A week Later- Punk Hazard **

After a week on Whtiebeard's ship, Kagura had made a full recovery, shocking the doctor and Chopper. She explained that Yato healed fast, but…to them she still got hit the force of five sea trains. So now that, that was over, they were now saying goodbye to their new pirate friends, with the diamond in hand. Though Nami didn't want to give up the gem, she had been promptly outvoted.

The Strawhats and Dragon were currently saying goodbye to Odd-Jobs, Sakamoto, and Mutsu; Katsura was currently tranquilized and thrown into the ship; he was in handcuffs by the Shinsengumi officers who were waiting inside with Umibozu.

"Have a safe trip!" Nami waved.

"Yohoho! Make sure to keep your spirits up!" Brook laughed.

"And make sure you don't strain yourself too much Kagura-san!" Chopper told her.

"I will, I will." She smiled, she liked the reindeer. That reminder her, where was her pet? "Sadaharu! Come back! It's time to go!" The dog rushed past her the moment he heard it.

"That thing's eager." Zoro huffed and looked at the permhead. "Too bad we didn't get to fight."

"You'd beat me, I'm too lazy to put up a proper fight. Oh, and give this back to your sensei." Gintoki tossed Zoro Mihawk's sword. "Figured he 'd want it back."

"Ah. Thank you." Zoro nodded.

"I hope you have a safe trip." Sanji nodded. "Mutsu-chan! Be safe!"

She bashed him. "Can we go yet?"

"You're harsh, aren't yah?" Franky frowned.

"I'm in a hurry; I don't want that idiot getting too drunk to fly." Mutsu explained.

"Ah. That makes sense." Ussop nodded.

"So that's it then!" Gintoki looked at Luffy and his father. He smiled and pat the Strawhat boy on the head. "I don't have to tell you this, but remember- every pirate king has a dad, whether he likes them or not."

"Yeah…" Luffy moved his hand. "Thanks permhead."

"Oi, oi..don't be being mean to your elders."

"Sakata-san." Dragon interrupted. "In all seriousness…thank you…for everything."

"It's fine; all in a day's work." He sighed, better get going.

"OI! Will you ever come back?" Luffy asked.

"Who knows? But don't be waiting up on me!" Gintoki waved as he and Shinpchi headed back into the ship.

"Thank you for everything, everyone!" Shinpachi bowed and went in.

And just as abruptly as they came, they exited the world of One Piece

**On the ship**

"Oi Zura." He sat beside the bound man, drinking a strawberry milk that he hadn't had in so long; he felt like he was recovering from rehab. "Why'd Sakamoto come back and get you?"

"It's not Zura, it's Katsura, and he didn't . My fraction had placed an order, but then the idiot shows up out of nowhere, and grabs me with a mechanical claw. Then his assistant tells me I'm needed for an upcoming battle possibly; she picked up on bad intelligence in that universes through her advanced monitoring system." The revolutionary explained. "It's too bad I didn't get to spread my glorious message."

"Uh-huh, and the dog?" He refereed to the puppy that Kagura and Sougo were sitting against; it seemed to be chewing on something.

"I don't know actually. Knowing Sakamoto, he probably just picked him up randomly." Katsura shrugged.

"True." Gintoki frowned when he couldn't make out the item the dog was chewing on. He got up and walked towards the couple, getting their attention. "Oi, what's that dog got in his mouth?"

"Danna, can't you see you're interrupting a private moment?" Sougo deadpanned.

"There's nothing private about what you're doing, we're in a damned spaceship, and the doctor said no sex for Kagura." Gintoki said plainly.

"That's before he knew a Yato's healing ability, uh-huh!" Kagura leaned on Sougo's shoulder, still feeling tired from her fight with Kamui.

"Oi! What's the mutt got in his mouth?!" Gintoki demanded.

"Gin-san!" Shinpachi ran to them. "I can't find the diamond anywhere! Have you seen-"

**GULP!**

Everyone stared at Sadaharu who 'RUFFED' innocently. No one had to ask what the dog swallowed, but it left one very painful question.

"Gin-san…will anyone want the diamond after that?"

"Shinpachi-kun, don't talk…I want to pretend I'm dead or kill the author right now." And that is how the first ever One Piece and Gintama crossover ended.

**-OWARI**

**Review please! Till next time or read my other fics!**


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